As It Is Coming Towards The Festive Season, How Are People Hoping To Protect Themselves In Family Conversations?

What hints and tips do you have for those who will be sharing their Christmas meal with racist/sexist/all things ending in ist family/extended family/friends.

There is sometimes that grandparent / auntie / great Uncle that will be with your family, so you cannot not go, (unless you want to miss Christmas with the rest of your family)

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My whole family has a mutual agreement that if we see someone talking to a specific person or looks uncomfortable, rescue them.
My grandma once rescued me from my great uncle (who was telling me a story about how he had a pinched nerve in his neck, going on thirty minutes) when she asked me if I could peel potatoes.
Unbeknownst to him, potatoes were peeled that morning and I looked like I was about to sleep while standing.

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Allydog57

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Emily Constance 1 year ago

That's lovely. It's always nice if there's someone to watch your back / get you out of a conversation. Have a wonderful Christmas x

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I’m not going to family get togethers any more, last time was so awful my parents dont make me go anymore. Im autistic and my extended family talk to me like im a baby and give me baby colouring books and crayons, im 25 and its so humiliating ☹️

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Goth Mouse (he/they)

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Emily Constance 1 year ago

Oh my gosh that's awful! Do you and your parents do something together for a Christmas celebration on another day? X

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I've tried counter arguments with the older relatives but they're so stuck in their ways. I don't want them to think it's acceptable, but I also don't want to argue with them.
I now try and divert the conversation, it sometimes works. But it's not always successful.

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Emily Constance

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Very lucky I don’t have to deal with all this anymore….

Although if I ever get into a new relationship I might have to deal with it again.
I just hope it won’t be too dramatic

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Lizz

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Emily Constance 1 year ago

Fingers crossed you continue to not have to deal / it's a lot better than you think. Big hugs and festive well wishes xx

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crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago

Queer? My family seems pretty fine with gayness but me being trans is something I'm dreading having to deal with at out family get together

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Lizz (Submission author) 1 year ago

You have to be happy with it... not them... You are beautiful no matter what your gender is.... If they can't see it it's their loss... Good luck and best wishes....

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My family includes a lot of different perspectives on things. I think all families do....the trick is to realize that these are people you care about or you wouldn't be spending time with them. If you dislike them so much, don't go. Most importantly though, we all need to realize that whatever those different perspectives are, we need to stop attributing motives like "ists." If Aunt Jill thinks something differently than I do, I'm going to assume it's for a more logical reason than just dislike for someone else. I may not agree, but her reasoning could be something I had never even thought of....and shocker, it could even make a little sense when I really think about it from her life and perspective....even if it's misguided.

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Lindsey

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Emily Constance 1 year ago

I can understand that, I find it hard though as my personal experience is that there's not a reason (I do not accept 'old age' as an excuse). Unfortunately my relative is extremely anti everyone who isn't us. It is awful. So although I agree that different perspectives doesn't automatically mean they're an 'ist', I think a lot of the other comments argue against that thought. X

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