I used to do fine arts, until I decided I didn’t like the arts.

Now I’m doing just fine.

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Ren <3

Ren <3

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2 years ago

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😂

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What kind of shoes do artists wear?

Sketchers.

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Ren <3

Ren <3

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2 years ago

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How do you get an arts major off your doorstep?

Pay for the pizza.

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Heather Vandegrift

Heather Vandegrift

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1 year ago

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Oh, ouch...

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How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish!

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Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body...

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

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Legendbird

Legendbird

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1 year ago

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Covering up a dumb comment, pretend I said something funny:)

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A friend of mine is drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150.

He is a pickup artist.

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Joni-lee Smith

Joni-lee Smith

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2 years ago

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As long as he wasn't found on road dead

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It's amazing that Leonardo da Vinci could paint and invent and still find time to be a crime-fighting turtle.

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Buren

Buren

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2 years ago

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Don't forget about winning Oscar too and fighting bear

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What sound does a dog that’s really into art make?

He doesn’t bark. He bauhaus.

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Headless Roach

Headless Roach

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2 years ago

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Very modernist of him.

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How can an artist fill in a CV?

Drawing from experience.

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My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

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How well did Jackson Pollock do in art class?

He passed it with flying colors.

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Kate Johnson

Kate Johnson

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2 years ago

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Oh, wow, I can't wait to pull this one out at the next opening lol!

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What do you call a sculptor that loves to get high?

A stoner.

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Ren <3

Ren <3

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2 years ago

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LMAO

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My friend was a struggling artist until he decided to just do sculptures.

He made over six figures last year.

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Who’s the king of the pencil case?

The ruler.

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What do you call a painter that loves running through the grass?

Jackson Frolic.

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What is it called when someone is hanging out by the wall?

Art.

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What do you call the model used for body painting?

Ms Paint.

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Ren <3

Ren <3

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2 years ago

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😂

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One time Lucy tried to paint the sky, but she blue it.

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What is Salvador Dali's favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

A bowl of surreal.

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What do pirates do in their free time?

They make Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

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My art teacher said my self-portrait looked horrible.

However, she did say it was extremely realistic and lifelike.

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Paul Andreas Johnson

Paul Andreas Johnson

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2 years ago

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Ouch

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What did the artist feel like when he first visited the Louvre museum?

It was Louvre at first sight.

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Why did Van Gogh become a painter?

Because he didn’t have an ear for music.

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Paul Andreas Johnson

Paul Andreas Johnson

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2 years ago

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His lover did though 😉

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How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

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What does a momma color wheel say to a baby color wheel?

Don’t use that tone with me.

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What happens when a painter fails to finish his joke?

Sketch Comedy.

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Artists are just children who refused to put down their crayons.

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liam mckirdy

liam mckirdy

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2 years ago

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im just imaging a baby da vinci as a baby and his parents go "put down your crayons" and hes just like download-3...ee5fe.jpeg

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Why does everyone usually paint Easter eggs?

Because it is much easier than wallpapering them.

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Kate Johnson

Kate Johnson

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2 years ago

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See? *Totally* makes sense.

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Did you hear about the artist that always took things too far?

She didn’t know where to draw the line.

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When you’re colorblind in an art gallery, everything is a pigment of imagination.

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Why was the worlds greatest painter's wardrobe so small?

He only ever needed one coat.

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Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or art students calling themselves baristas.

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Why can mathematicians never become painters?

Their art is derivative.

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Why is it hard to talk to an abstract painter?

They never go into detail.

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Took my kid to a classical music concert, It was a disaster.

Way too much sax and violins.

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Did you see the display of still-life art?

It was not at all moving.

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Paul Andreas Johnson

Paul Andreas Johnson

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2 years ago

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I sure HOPE it wasn't

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What do you tell a painter who just had a breakup?

Brush it off.

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What's the difference between an art student and a table?

A table can support itself.

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Heather Vandegrift

Heather Vandegrift

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1 year ago

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Damn, these are roasting poor at students! At least SOMETHING will keep them warm in the winter...

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My wife makes art by spending hours painting dots on a canvas to create shapes, she calls it modern art.

I think it’s pointillist.

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Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

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I asked my art teacher how to draw people.

He suggested I work on my personality.

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The artist shouldn’t have taken that sculpture for granite, now it’s stone-cold.

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What is a seal's favorite subject?

Art Art Art Art!!!

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When I’m older and can afford it, I want to commission an artist to make a bust of me

But that’s getting a head of myself.

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How can you work to improve your 3D drawings into 4D drawings?

It just takes time.

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital?

A FLATLINE!

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What does the art thief say?

Give me all your monet.

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Paul Andreas Johnson

Paul Andreas Johnson

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2 years ago

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Right click, save as

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Caught my girlfriend kissing an abstract artist.

They said, "it's not what it looks like."

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When Michelangelo finally painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, what did he say?

I have got you covered.

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Where is the best place to go if you want to watch people with art degrees while they’re working?

Wal-mart.

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Paul Andreas Johnson

Paul Andreas Johnson

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2 years ago

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Dollar Tree

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When the two artists had an argument, they decided to call it a draw.

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Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail?

Because he’d been framed!

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Where do vampires go to buy their art supplies?

Pencilvania.

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I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.

Now that is bold.

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It's amazing that the ancient Greek sculptors made statues without arms.

I mean, how did they hold the tools?

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How does an artist get around?

Well quite easel-y.

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Artists on the internet are so uncreative, like get over it, someone else has already called theirs Untitled.

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I made a quick drawing of a dark alleyway yesterday.

It’s a very sketchy place.

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When should you fix a painting?

When it is Baroque.

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There is a hostile atmosphere in the Picasso exhibit. A lot of side-eye.

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What did the frustrated painter say to his wall?

I'll plaster you if you crack anymore!

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What do you get if you cross a painter with a boxer?

Muhammad Dali.

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How did one artist say hello to another artist?

Yellow!

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Why did the painter butter his toast with his fingers?

To feel its texture.

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I was listening to classical music really loudly the other day when suddenly... my speakers Baroque.

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What is Picasso's favorite gaming console?

Game cubism.

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Paul Andreas Johnson

Paul Andreas Johnson

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2 years ago

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Only if it hated women and did copious amounts of drugs

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Art Teacher: "Why are you staring at an empty piece of paper?"

"I'm drawing a blank."

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Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp.

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How did the art student make a million dollar work of art?

He started with 2 million.

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What’s the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The art student gets a mark for it.

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What should you do if you find art imprisoned?

You have to Freda art.

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Kate Johnson

Kate Johnson

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2 years ago

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Always. And FEARNOART, too!

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Which famous painting is always sad?

The Moaning Lisa.

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What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

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I failed my art exam using the wrong pencil… I guess it wasn’t 2b.

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Paul Andreas Johnson

Paul Andreas Johnson

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2 years ago

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Neir Automoton joke

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In what state is a painter’s house usually in?

Work-in-progress.

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Which animals are famous painters?

Pablo Pig-caso and Vincent van Goat!

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What is it called when someone mislabels a color?

False ac-hue-sation.

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The artist wasn’t happy when it was time to face the mosaic.

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How come you can’t trust an artist?

Because they’re sketchy… a bit shady… and they might try to frame you.

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Saimonas Lukošius

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What does a painter do when he gets cold?

He puts on another coat.

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Why can you never make out when a painter is sad?

They mask it well.

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How does a painter fight?

He challenges his rival to a doodle.

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How did Leonardo Da Vinci never go hungry at night?

He just painted The Last Supper.

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Purchased some graffiti-proof paint.

It’s unremarkable.

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What has three legs and four arms?

My son's terrible drawing of a snake.

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I photograph my pimples. Is zit art?

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Salvador Dali walks into a fish and orders a pint of stamps.

The barman says, “Why the bicycle wheel?”

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What’s an Etch-A-Sketch artists’ worst nightmare?

An earthquake.

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Where does a cow hang his paintings?

In a mooooseum.

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Why did the artist frequently visit the bathroom?

Because when you gotta Gogh, you gotta Gogh.

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How do unsuccessful painters pass away?

Art failure.

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Do you know why the artist add sugar to his paint?

To make it more palatable.

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Which painter had the most bubbly personality?

Philippe de Champaigne.

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The bald artist painted rabbits on his head. He thought it would look like hares.

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What degree do you need to write parking tickets?

Fine Arts.

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I ripped my drawing as it looked bad.

The guy I drew the tattoo for was horrified.

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Why did the investor buy art?

For art appreciation.

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Why are most artists struggling with finances?

Because they have no Monet.

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What did the Italian painter who loved spice buy?

He boughtachili.

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What was the artist’s favorite swimming stroke?

The brushstroke.

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The artist told the dentist, “Matisse hurt!”

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What is Earth without “art” in it?

“Eh…”

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Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized?

The doctors say it was due to too many strokes.

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