I am also your target audience. Because, I’m laughing, too.

You have my vote!

🖤

I really, really like your Dad.

I would bet money on the bears being smarter.

🥰

Yup dogs be sniffing out the poo!

50 % of the group no statistic makes

Did that today always pack just in case!

I want to see the dog

Well, she’s still family.

🤣

Qcumber

Wise lesson

I say you were raised right.

I'm not crying. You're crying.... that is a beautiful and precious thing. hang onto that.

When I first got to prison, the guards' winter uniforms were navy blue. Several of us who hung out together, being silly, would sight guards, and say, "Oh no! The blue people are coming!" A few years later, the blue uniforms were replaced by black ones. One can NOT say, "Oh no! The black people are coming!" It just really doesn't work out well.

But did he like the pasta salad?

If only

Fair enough.

Posted.... from Earth. Whew. Relieved.

TURTLE, NO! Sorry, but what e,se to say?

I never got any birds but the seeds that were dropped from my feeder produced a couple of sunflowers!

sweet

Haha facts

Power move

🤦🏼‍♀️

If this was my pop, it would have ended up being sorted at a BBQ at our house with a whole family of new best friends.

This made me laugh hard enough to bother Audi! I can SO see this happening!

I like this, how nice to have your dad to call upon, so sweet for you both.

A woman crashed into my parked van while I was inside waiting for my husband and reading a newspaper. She told me how sorry she was, that she would write to her insurance company because it was entirely her fault and so on. Her mom was with her in the car and agreed with her. Nobody was hurt, so we exchanged phone numbers and left. Later that night, her father called to say that I had crashed into her daughter's car in reverse leaving the parking spot. It ended in court, and since it was not possible to determine who was right the judge decided for concurrence of fault. At least in Italy, insurance companies raise the costs in case of an accident so I had to pay more money even if I had literally done nothing.

Call 911 dummy then your parents. Parents should always tell their kids to call 911 when they have in an accident and then the parents. My kids were taught that, son called me 1 day after school he was taking a friend home. There was this little pothead hellion that passed my son on a double yellow line on a hill then hit the brakes so that my son would hit him. When I got there and saw the other car it was best up and 1 look at his Mama and I thought oh God... turned out she's a Karen. The day we went to court for the ticket which the Judge threw out the Asst Principal was in line behind us outside for a speeding ticket and told me that kid had done the same thing to him 1 day but he was able to miss him. That kids license was revoked and Mama Karen tried screaming she was gonna sue the insurance company because they denied the claim after they got the police report, all the statements and the driving records. Her beat up car wasn't fixed! HA Ha b***h!

This one is priceless!!!

I had a car accident in 2020 (of course), and I was 37 years old...first thing was check on the occupants of the other car, then call 911, then call my dad...some things should never change.

Now you know what to do next time "is everyone okay?" ... "May we exchange insurance information?"

Not gonna lie, when I first read it I thought they actually meant a club for people with black Jeeps. I'm an idiot! 🤣

"It's not fair! There was *time*! Time enough at *last*!"

True

The game developers need a reminder of this. I'm looking at you EA!

They are visiting the bugs that live indoors.

I love reading threads of the weird sentences Duolingo teaches.

I’ll take her!

True crime is not usually my vibe, but I’d listen to this podcast!

r/technicallycorrect

Cats are liquid after all.

ouch

One is a breach of your terms and conditions, the other is an arrestable offence, voyeurism is illegal in many countries

Thats my type as well!

A friend who understands mental health is a good friend

Roald Dahl suggested she should have got a long sentence for burglary.

Ate we vessels or are we essence

I barely have enough energy to date *one* person.

Reminds me of that quote from Full Metal Jacket: " You're so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece"

I tried speaking French in a Quebec McDonald's. The clerk looked at me with an annoyed expression and said, "Whaddya want??"