upvote for the puppers major achievements!

🤣🤣🤣

This is the kind of quick thinking I wish I had!

That's so hilarious! I've had that done. I would have laughed. Poor guy was probably embarrassed.

Cobra Chicken is my band name.

Just keep going.

Try to prevent OP developing foot in mouth..

LOL! "Flesh chandelier" has been successfully added to my insult vernacular! Many thanks!

True

What an idiot.

Mine was clowns coming out of my closet in the dark, but toilet snakes is a close second, now.

Legit. All these years you thought you escaped and then BANG a wedding lurking behind the door. Nightmare.

Fun fact: a snake did come out of toilet and bit the flesh chandeliers of a man in south africa once. It took him about 30 minutes to break free.

Marriage IS the nightmare and toilet snakes are a close second. Both involve undesirable things near your vagina.

what about marrying a snake-vagina???

roses are red cactuses are prickly holy s**t that escalated quickly

Late marriage is way better than too early marriage 🤷

My biggest nightmare is marrying too soon before I know who I am as a person and finding out my husband isn’t who he said he was and going through a divorce that would destroy my faith in romance. I’ll take being married at 40 over being married at 20.

After being treated for 2 separate brown recluse spider bites has unlocked a new fear for me. Yes. I was ok. I was very lucky to have caught it early by using sharpies to mark the edges on a work day. By end of day, it was a golf ball. The second was less dramatic but the worst part is where it was. It TAINT where you'd expect.

Mine is dying on the toilet of heart failure. Partly the sniggers and partly the extra sniggers when they realise yet another philosopher died on the toilet.

Mine is to be stuck in an elevator mid-floors with a screaming child and a clown, and then I see a spider slowly creeping out its hidey hole.

When I was a kid I saw a horror comedy called Saturday the 14th, where the protagonist flushed a hand (it was alive, like Thing, but more murderous) down a toilet. I remember a lot of years making sure to look in the toilet before sitting in case a disembodied hand came out... Maybe I wasnt quite old enough for that show 🤦‍♀️😂

Mine generally involves corpses and deep, dark bodies of water.

Worse than toilet snakes is toilet spiders

I once sat on the toilet at night and jumped up when I heard splashing sounds below me. I squirrel had come down the air vent from the roof into the toilet and somehow managed to find it way through the toilet passages to the bowl.

Friendly reminder that women are not a monolith. We don't all think the same. We're individuals.

Is that a marriage begins after 10 pm?

How late? Two hours or at 80 years old or older?

Thanks, Porky's!

Mine is mice and other things crawling over my face when I'm sleeping!

Ngl, this has been my fear for sometime.

Mine is to be stuck in an elevator mid-floors with a child and a clown, and a spider slowly crawls out of the lamp.

Thanks to “Dark Shadows,” mine was my ankles being attacked by a vampire if I got out of bed in the middle of the night. 🧛‍♂️

I thought it was the mansplaining douche but toilet snake is the same?

Lmfao this is literally something that lives in my brain wverytime I sit on a toilet. I thought I was just weird but I'm not the only one!!! I have never even lived in a place that has too many crazy snakes lol

That is ok though. You make at least the kids and parents aware that not all dogs are equally pettable.

🤦🏼‍♀️

Kindergarten Cop: my fav-‘my dad looks at vaginas all day’ (OBGYN Doc)

And the guy with the cocaine pizza narrowly avoided a panic attack.