Ever since I was little, I wanted a dog but my family wouldn't get one, so I decided when I was old enough and established enough to support one, I would have my own. Fast forward to several years ago when I felt like I was finally ready, my husband needed some convincing since he was never that into dogs. On nights when I would have insomnia, I spent hours searching for adoptable dogs in the local shelters that were small enough for apartment life and good with other dogs, people, and children, hoping it would be an easier dog to live with and train as a first-time dog owner. I would send potential candidates to my husband to consider, and this probably went on for maybe a year or more as he slowly warmed up to the idea.

One day I came across Toby's profile—he was terribly matted to the point where I couldn't quite see where his limbs came from. He was just a dusty cloud with bright eyes and a little pink tongue sticking out of his smile, and was said to be immediately friendly to the person who found him at the post office, and also to other beings. I asked if we could visit him in the shelter after work and to my surprise, my husband agreed.

When we arrived at the shelter, he wasn't in the area with all the other dogs being shown for adoption because he had caught kennel cough. They had hidden him in the back and didn't let us see him until we considered all the other dogs first, and then dress in protective gear to avoid spreading the illness further.

The shelter was largely helped by volunteers, and someone tried to cut off his mats but it was so bad that they cut up a lot of his skin too, so he had long tufts of hair in some places and naked bloody skin in others. His ribcage showed that he was very underweight too, so he looked terrible instead of like this cute little cloud in his profile (my sister said it reminded her of a wet rat, and later people who saw us with him gave us dirty looks thinking we badly abused him). Toby is also a very stoic, quiet dog by nature, so when he met us he seemed indifferent to whether he was in the cage or with us.

We were unsure of adopting him because of the lack of connection and the big commitment, so we asked to think about it. After some time, we agreed to adopt him and stopped at a pet store on the way home for supplies, and that was Mother's Day in 2018—the day he made me a mom! Based on his teeth, they guess he was around 3 when we adopted him, so now we think he's about 7.

For the most part, Toby is a very chill, gentle, and quiet dog, but his one weakness is he has separation anxiety, so he likes to be in the same room or have you in his line of sight at all times. He loves soft things, so if you are doing laundry and happen to throw something down on the ground he will try to lay on it almost immediately. Like most dogs, he loves his ball and tug of war, but we've had to teach him how to play with them—he'd rather just hold the ball in his mouth like a pacifier than fetch it, and he'll hold the rope and enjoys the thrill that you might take it from him, but he doesn't know to actually pull it from you once you've gotten hold of the end of the rope. He surprisingly loves veggies a lot and often comes over to watch us food prep. He doesn't like the bath, but once he's let out of one he will do zoomies around the house and circle back to the tub and peer in, only to run away from it again. One funny thing is he doesn't like when my husband and I play video games—that's one of the few times he will actually leave the room and go off on his own, like a grumpy old man who doesn't approve of too much noise!

I started Toby's Instagram account mainly because he brings me so much joy that I just wanted a place where he could bring others the same joy too if they're into that sort of thing, but my existing Instagram was centered around design so it didn't really fit.

As a designer, I guess I'm often keying into visual relationships, and I found myself often giggling at the things Toby would remind me of, so I began a series dedicated just to that, which I called TobyTwinsies.

The most difficult thing about Toby is his separation anxiety, which is severe enough that we try not to leave him alone (he has injured himself in the past trying to reunite with us). This limits the places we can go to dog-friendly establishments, or makes us coordinate who has to stay home with him, or else get a sitter even if it's only for an hour. It can feel really frustrating at times, but we don't know his full history and assume he may have been through some trauma that is probably related to why he was a stray. We try to help him increase his tolerance for being alone slowly, but we recognize it's a long game that may never have a cure.

The flip side of that is that we get to share a lot of things with him, including hikes, which he is surprisingly good at for a small dog. He can go maybe 4-6 miles with us in Colorado, especially if we give him a break in the backpack for a short bit. Because he likes to stick with his pack, he also won't wander very far, so that makes things easier in other ways. We've been lucky enough to get to bring him on some trips, and he does great on flights. He loves sniffing new places!

Toby seems to charm people wherever he goes, although he's a bit longer and larger than expected for a Shih Tzu, so some people are surprised by his proportions when they see him in real life. People who are scared of dogs often mention to me that he's the exception because of his calm or gentle demeanor, and my parents have taken him on as their "granddog" which really touches me.

I am excited to share him with others and encourage them to consider adopting! People are often afraid of what kind of issues they may get if they don't know the breed or history, but everyone (dogs and people) has issues eventually regardless. So rescue the needy shelter dog! It worked out for us even with the separation anxiety. My husband and his father were a bit scared at first by dogs, but they really love him and are open to a lot of other dogs because of him now. It all works out! Toby is one of the best things in my life.