‘Entitled’ Mom Asks If Her Child Can Pet Service Dogs, Can’t Take “No” For An Answer
People get into petty arguments with strangers all the time. They are usually brief and quickly forgotten about, and everyone just gets on with their lives. However these days, with pretty much everyone wielding easy access to a camera phone, these minor altercations can suddenly take on a life of their own.
This argument at a mall in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is a classic example of this. Misplaced anger and petty vindictiveness over a refused request to pet a service dog escalated a simple misunderstanding into a viral video, that has thousands of people weighing in with their own opinions on the matter.
The video was originally shared to Facebook by service dog handler Megan Stoff and has been viewed over 2 million times, with people shocked by the aggression of the entitled mother. It is (or at least should be) a well-known fact that service dogs are there to assist people with special circumstances or requirements, and shouldn’t be interfered with while working. Sure, a polite request can be made, but no means no, and this mom didn’t seem to understand that.
Had this crazy experience yesterday at the mall where some lady asked if she could pet the dogs. People ask us all the time so I just said, “no.” All the dogs are working so it’s my go to answer. And they walked away. No big deal right? This lady went out of her way to come back with her child and yell at us for saying “no” and for not saying, “nO iM sOrRy ThEy’Re TrAiNiNg.” And we should “have a sign or something.” You mean the 20 patches on my dog that say don’t pet? 🙃 Entitlement these days is real. They even got mall security because we said they couldn’t pet the working dogs. 🙃😂 Security said that the lady was crying 😂 So much harassment for just saying no. This video is public and is shareable. There was no common sense here.
Posted by ML Leigh on Thursday, December 20, 2018
The group was on a meet-up at the mall, getting to know each other as fellow service dog training professionals. One of the group, Ciarán Williamson, couldn’t understand why being told ‘no’ upset the mom quite as it did, and after being confronted by the mall security that she called on them, decided that enough was enough and went home. Ciarán gave his perspective on being a service dog handler to Bored Panda. “I don’t necessarily mind being asked to pet my dog, though usually, I have to tell people no,” he told us. “I don’t really get upset by having to do this unless it’s a particularly stressful dog training day or environment and I’m having trouble doing what I’ve set out to do in the first place.”
Image credits: ML Leigh
“I’d rather people ask than just lean in and try to grab her, which happens every day… but I don’t always have the energy to explain what she’s doing or why she can’t be petted. I’m autistic and sometimes just can’t speak very efficiently at all so I can’t explain even if I wanted to. I might shake my head no, or indicate in some other short way not to pet her or talk to her, and I just want to have that respected. People also often take pictures of us without asking, and that makes me really super uncomfortable, I don’t want people to do that at all.”
“I guess I just don’t want people to assume I can divert my attention to interact with them how they want me to, and that if someone has a service dog in the first place, it means they’re disabled and probably having a hard time already. Using judgment about whether it’s appropriate to ask to pet helps (does the dog already have a vest on that says not to pet? Is it really loud and busy and chaotic of an atmosphere? Does the service dog handler look uncomfortable or distracted?). I have let people pet her, but in particular situations where I can focus on making sure I keep her attention, and I know I won’t need her to work for me at that moment.”
Image Credits: Ciarán Williamson
“Unfortunately I feel like people don’t consider me at all when they ask to interact with my companion pet the majority of the time. Usually, rude people just lean in and talk to her or try to pet her without even acknowledging me… They also often just assume I’m rude instead of something out of my control (like I can’t hear them, which happens a lot in overstimulating environments). I am concerned about people feeling the entitlement to do these things because it’s widespread.”
“My dog Clover is doing very well in training though, she has a Facebook page I started for her recently so people could see her and ask me questions about her and stuff there if they’re curious. I like talking about my service dog, just not necessarily when I’m trying to go grocery shopping! She deals well with strangers approaching, but she is an amiable and outgoing dog that enjoys people so attention from other people can be a big distraction for her and it’s something we have to work on all the time. I don’t think people consider that when they get upset about not being allowed to pet her.”
Here’s what people had to say about the situation:
1.4Mviews
Share on FacebookI actually agree with the mom. The handler should get a sign. A big wooden one that she can hit people on the head with when they try stuff like this idiot mother did
For the record..it isn't just service dogs..it's all dogs. Ask before you approach and pet a dog. My sister had this problem. Her german shepherd loved going to the park..but as she got older, her body ached and she was going blind. She became scared of strangers and would avoid them when she could. So imagine my sisters irritation when the kids would ask their parents "Can I pet the dog" and the parents would say "Ok" without even asking my sister. She would stop the child and send them back to their parents. She was called nasty names enough times that she stopped taking the dog to the one place her senior pup loved to go. I hate people that disrespect boundaries.
God I hate people sometimes! This made me sad..
Load More Replies...My son (almost 3) looooves dogs and always wants to pet each one he sees. I always ask and if the answer is no, I tell him 'the doggy doesn't want to be petted and that's okay' and we move on. When we encouter a service dog however, I ALWAYS tell him 'we can't pet that doggy because it's busy working'. I really don't get why that is so hard for people to understand. Service dogs are not pets in the 'usual' sense, they have a very important job to do and it's just not okay to distract them. Unless the owner says it's okay of course ;-)
I agree with you. I was in a college class with a girl that was in a wheelchair. I shared the handicapped desk with her and would take notes for her. Her service dog would sit in between us. I was the only one allowed to pet the dog but only after class was over. Other students would pet the dog any dam time they wanted without asking the owner. Over the course of the class, you could see this girl was starting to lose control of the dog as it became more excitable when students came into class. I mentioned this to the professor who made an announcement to the class what was happening with the dog. He ended his announcement "And if I catch or hear of anyone petting that dog again, it will be an automatic failing grade for the class and you will be asked to leave." That made everyone keep their hands to themselves.
Load More Replies...I actually agree with the mom. The handler should get a sign. A big wooden one that she can hit people on the head with when they try stuff like this idiot mother did
For the record..it isn't just service dogs..it's all dogs. Ask before you approach and pet a dog. My sister had this problem. Her german shepherd loved going to the park..but as she got older, her body ached and she was going blind. She became scared of strangers and would avoid them when she could. So imagine my sisters irritation when the kids would ask their parents "Can I pet the dog" and the parents would say "Ok" without even asking my sister. She would stop the child and send them back to their parents. She was called nasty names enough times that she stopped taking the dog to the one place her senior pup loved to go. I hate people that disrespect boundaries.
God I hate people sometimes! This made me sad..
Load More Replies...My son (almost 3) looooves dogs and always wants to pet each one he sees. I always ask and if the answer is no, I tell him 'the doggy doesn't want to be petted and that's okay' and we move on. When we encouter a service dog however, I ALWAYS tell him 'we can't pet that doggy because it's busy working'. I really don't get why that is so hard for people to understand. Service dogs are not pets in the 'usual' sense, they have a very important job to do and it's just not okay to distract them. Unless the owner says it's okay of course ;-)
I agree with you. I was in a college class with a girl that was in a wheelchair. I shared the handicapped desk with her and would take notes for her. Her service dog would sit in between us. I was the only one allowed to pet the dog but only after class was over. Other students would pet the dog any dam time they wanted without asking the owner. Over the course of the class, you could see this girl was starting to lose control of the dog as it became more excitable when students came into class. I mentioned this to the professor who made an announcement to the class what was happening with the dog. He ended his announcement "And if I catch or hear of anyone petting that dog again, it will be an automatic failing grade for the class and you will be asked to leave." That made everyone keep their hands to themselves.
Load More Replies...
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