How is it that the child was ***not*** previously told to be on his best behaviour at a formal event like a wedding? Are all children allowed to run around like feral wolves these days? Perhaps this is a generational thing (having been raised to be polite for family dinners with my grandparents), but there is ***no way*** that a four-year old should assume that sticking his fingers into any ***cake*** is reasonable behaviour. [Edit: this is not blaming the kid, but definitely the parents own this.]

The OP and her husband are absolutely The A******s. A 4yo is too young to be left to run around in a large crowd like that. Perhaps by 6 or 7, depending on the venue and the crowd, it might be okay. Growing up, I went to about 3 weddings a summer, since I had dozens of older first cousins. Us kids had a blast running around at the reception, but only allowed to do so once we were old enough to be able to behave.

Chances are the OP does that 'gentle parenting' junk and never really disciplines their kid. I wish there was an update! If I'd EVER behaved that way at a wedding or any other event, my parents would've been the first ones to step in, yell at and embarrass me in front of EVERYONE, demand I make an apology, and then probably financially make it right for any damages and I would be in a world of hurt for awhile. I remember going to a cousin's wedding when I was 5 and I don't remember any other children there my age. I sat quietly and minded my manners and I recall enjoying it very much.

Oh, this is squarely on the shoulders of the parents of the child. It's their child, they should have kept their eyes on it.

Wedding cakes cost hundreds of dollars and a lot of planning. After children stick their hands and faces in the food for a crowd, it becomes inedible. Apologize to the bride and send the couple a check for $1000.

She tells the bride," oh its okay to invite the kids they are family and WILL BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR ". This is the very woman who left her child unsupervised and her kid took a chunk out of the cake of the newlyweds . You were wrong and owe her and her husband a major apology for your lack of proper supervision of your child. For not teaching your child to behave properly. You being called out and embarrassed was justified. You pushed for a child inclusive wedding and didn't supervise your own child. You caused the problem. You should take responsibility for your poor parenting. This is why people have child free weddings. BECAUSE PARENTS GO TO WEDDINGS TO SOCIALIZE, DRINK,AND DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS!! You feel offended? Your kid ruined an important part/ tradition of a wedding because he wasn't taught to keep his sticky fingers off the cake until he was served his piece on a plate like a civilized human being. You know manners? Didn't you teach your kid proper behavior? YOU are at fault here. Your friend has a right to be angry at you and calling you out, yes she yelled but its HER WEDDING. You owe her an apology. In the future, you need to not only teach your kid how to behave properly,learn manners but also supervise your child.

Get a freaking babysitter, people. Seriously. The entitlement is ridiculous.

At my sister's wedding the kids were at this tiny playground right next to the venue (supervised by a parent) when the cake came out so they cut it in peace and distributed the plates

My parents loved us enough not to drag us off to weddings when we were young. I attended my first wedding then I was 9 and sat there envying my younger siblings who were being spoiled rotten at grandma's house.

I never understand why kids at weddings. it means nothing to the kids and really no one else. get a babysitter

Never assume other people are looking after your child at a party, even if you ask them to. They are not your babysitters, they are distracted and not used to keeping tabs on a toddler. You were drinking and dancing like teenagers without paying any attention to him. You're lucky he didn't get hurt. So many kids his age die at adult parties, because out of excitement, boredom or curiosity they slip away and get hurt before anyone spots they are missing. You are negligent parents and absolutely responsible for the damage to the cake. You're lucky it wasn't worse, skewers in the cake could have taken his eye out.

I'm sure OP is one of those irresponsible people who always find excuses instead of apologize. I had a friend like this, never her fault. No wonder the bride was mad. Cakes are expensive. Wedding cakes are even more expensive. And she received a "oh but it's still edible, it was an accident" instead a " I'm so very sorry, I f* up". I would love to hear this story from the bride pov.

YTA. Though the bride's reaction was over the top, OP still owes her friend an apology as she & her hubs weren't watching their child. 4 yr olds do stupid things- it's their job. The degree to which this incident has effected the friendship is dysfunctional.

watch kids at events like this because they are kids and can get into trouble in an empty room they are also often overstimulated by all the noise people and excitement its a recipe for disaster if they are not being supervised

I'm pretty sure that when I was 4 was interested enough in everything around me not to touch the cake, and if I really wanted some extra I'd probably wait and try to steal an extra piece after it was already cut. A kid that age may idk try to sneak a finger of frosting at most and they would know that it was wrong. But take an entire chunk/bite that's just bad behavior and the mom or dad should have made sure to keep an eye on the kid, and it should be decided beforehand who was the designated "keep track of toddler" parent if the mom wanted to socialize on her Bff's wedding. You don't "have a few glasses of wine" if you don't make sure that someone has an eye on a kid that probably has a history of not being the most well behaved

My goodness! When my son was almost 5 he was asked to be page boy at my best friend's wedding. We talked a lot about it because he would be out of my sight/ control for post if the time and I would have been devastated if he'd misbehaved or done anything to spoil the day. They allocated him a supervisor (grooms sister, also bridesmaid) and we agreed she'd be in charge until the reception, then he'd be my responsibility again. It was stressful worrying he might muck about, but it was clear who was watching him the whole time. Even so, I would still have felt horribly responsible if he'd done anything silly. The worst he did was a) use his top hat as a drum during the ceremony (appropriate because the groom is a drummer) and b) swap hats with the groom for some of the pics when he'd got a bit bored (with groom's permission), so there are photos of him standing perfectly still wearing a hat that came down to his chin 😂

Kids don't belong at any formal event period.

Huge YTA. WATCH YOUR CHILDREN. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM AND THEIR ACTUONS WHILE YOU ARE OUT. Why is this so hard for some people to grasp?

OP & her husband are indeed TA.. hands down!! Failure to supervise the only kid they obviously have is what caused this mess & clearly doesn't have any home training at all (beyond hopeful don't have another kid). No parent should have to go through an entire crowd to get to their child. The bride had every right to be upset & they all owe her as well as the groom an apology. Also need to compensate whomever covered the costs for the cake too.

I've taught 4-year-olds. They're surprisingly (for those who've had little experience with this age) mature. If a 4-year old plunges his face into someone else's cake, then in my opinion he's either developmentally delayed, or his parents haven't bothered to acquaint him with his society's behavioral expectations. Either way, his mother must have known that this particular child, for whatever reason, should never have been left unsupervised for a moment. I notice she made a point of mentioning that she knew and felt comfortable with everyone there. OK. So she wasn't worried about HIS safety. But what about the security of the bride and the other guests from the outrageous behavior of her son? There seems to have been total disregard for their well-being. I'm guessing she talked the bride into hosting her kid because she didn't want to spring for the cost of a sitter. Totally TA. However, as the saying goes, when they go low, you go high. The bride might have shown a little more class.

You are one entitled, stupid b***h.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Kid should have received a good spanking IN THE MOMENT, and bride and family should have received a heartfelt apology.