Join the Fun!

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Was under anesthesia for a breast reduction. As I was coming out, my nurse was talking to me and apparently I started saying “omg it’s an angel and she looks like Barbie!” I kept yelling for Barbie Angel and possibly kept trying to hug her and pet her hair. I cried for her on the way home.

She called to check on me later that night and referred to herself as Nurse Barbie Angel. She was the sweetest.

OHManda30 , Eirien Report

Final score:

359points

POST

stardust 2 years ago

Awwww

47points

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I was under general anesthesia to get my gall bladder removed. As I was being wheeled back through the double doors there was a giant tv screen that listed the surgeries going on. I was way too loopy to actually read it but I swear I saw “Elbow-ectomy” and started hysterically laughing over the idea of removing an elbow and being left with a floppy arm. Apparently what I actually said was “elbooow jellooooo” and then passed out.

happethottie , Quinn Dombrowski Report

Final score:

343points

POST

stardust 2 years ago

OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

79points

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Apparently when I was going under I told the anesthesiologist, “don’t mess this up, I know where you work”.

SpazSpazBoBaz , Toshiyuki IMAI Report

Final score:

324points

POST

Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago

Channeling your inner mobster

79points

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group My husband was put under to get his wisdom teeth out. He was a little anxious and also is just kind of a**l (he's an engineer), so he read is pre-op instructions front to back like a dozen times. One of the things it said was "you may experience profound disorientation upon awakening." As he woke up, he opened one eye and looked around the room, then said extremely huffily "I wouldn't call this PROFOUND." Then he started crying.

PictureSarah , Ace Armstrong Report

Final score:

278points

POST

Your Neighborhood Alien 2 years ago

Another story that was a comment on OP's that's adorable: "I had mine out in a hospital (tachycardia concerns) and I was given TWO Ativan to calm me. It made me uncharacteristically revealing about my feelings. So as my bed was being wheeled down to the Operating Room we came across two nurses walking by, and I asked them earnestly, “I know I’m a great big guy and full grown man, but would someone hold my hand …I’m just a little nervous.” Those two nurses both put down their stuff and reached for my hands. They held them all the way into the OR and put extra blankets from the warmer to make sure I felt at ease. They even searched me out later in Post Op to check on me. That response, their sincere kindness, was a true revelation to me and ever since that day — I’ve been unafraid to show my genuine emotion and feelings with others. It’s made life immeasurably better."

270points

CockeyedGunslinger , Dwayne Madden Report

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I gave a patient an IV dose of ketamine for a pain procedure. He proceeded to tell the room that everyone had turned into cartoon characters and then he announced he was melting into a wall of butter. Still my finest achievement as a physician...

Final score:

261points

POST

to old to care 2 years ago (edited)

My sister got ketamine when she fell and broke her hip - she kept getting mad that micky mouse was eating her ice cream cone.(she was 61 at the time) The paramedics were in stitches.

98points

hairybackdave , South Carolina ETV; Nelvana; Scholastic Productions Report

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I woke up singing the *magic school bus* theme song while someone 3 beds away was screaming in agony

Final score:

253points

POST

Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago

Cruising down on main street, we’re relaxed and feelin good…

63points

AmandaDarlingInc , Docteur Spitalier Philippe Report

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group A girl woke up and asked if she had been hit by a train and then when asked if she knew why she was there she looked down and patted her chest and said implants. She was having her ACL repaired and her mom was there. (It was me, I was 19, I've never lived it down.)

Final score:

250points

POST

Henry Myers 2 years ago

Love the plot twist at the end

65points

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group My wife was all doped up during her c-section and asked the anesthesiologist, "did they cut me open yet?" He calmly told her they did. To which she replied, "awwwww s**t", with a huge grin on her face. The Dr. and I lost it.

Hitman0355 , Jeena Paradies Report

Final score:

238points

POST

Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago

Awww the good stuff

33points

aWormhatForVermhat Report

#10

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Nurse here, was 22F - had a teen boy come out of anesthesia who looked at me and said ‘heyyy you’re the girl from last night!’ - I had to reassure everyone that THAT WASN’T ME!

Final score:

236points

POST

Vicky Verz 2 years ago

What if she actually was?

54points

kosandeffect , Presidencia de la República Mexicana Report

#11

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I'm sure the anesthesiologist that did my son's dental surgery will never forget him. Specifically, because he came out after the fact clearly trying very hard not to laugh to tell my wife about it.

Kiddo was just chatting away while he was getting ready. Now my son is autistic and at the time had a very... Distinct way of speaking and pattern of emphasis along with a lisp. I literally cannot translate how he sounded talking into text.

Anyway, just as they're getting ready to put him under he goes. "You're gonna need some hard core night time medicine cuz I have ADHD and-" out, practically snoring even. They get to work, finish up and pull the mask off him. The literal second the mask was off his nose he bolts upright and finishes his sentence from however long earlier. "That stuff don't work good on me."

Final score:

232points

POST

K W 2 years ago

My son got laughing gas for his first dental filling appointment. I was super jealous because I'm terrified of the dentist and have never been offered it. I asked him how he felt afterward and he said he didn't feel any different at all lol. Hard to tell because he often sounds like a chatty curmudgeony old man (like Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men), and that was pretty much how he reacted to the laughing gas.

46points

#12

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group My husband had his acl and meniscus repaired. When they brought him back into the room, he stared at me through half closed eyes until the nurses left and then said, "I love you. I'm glad you're here." I melted. Then he conked back out for about half an hour and woke up with a big gasp (I thought he was in pain, that's how loud it was) and went, "BURGER KING BURGEEEEERRRRRR." I said, "you want a burger King burger?" He said "I doooooooo!" So I had to get him a burger King burger for dinner. He doesn't remember anything until he was back home several hours later with burger King sitting in front of him. Lol

GreenOnionCrusader , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

223points

POST

B 🇺🇦🇨🇦 2 years ago (edited)

“I doooooooo!” hahaha

44points

#13

My aunt, who notoriously despises fast food (old Mexican lady whose food is as good as it gets) woke up and looked at my uncle and said, “are you the sexy man that’s gonna take me to McDonald’s?” If you knew her you would know that she would NEVER say that. She has never lived it down.

jay_skrilla Report

Final score:

210points

POST

Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago

Maybe Mickey D is her guilty pleasure

40points

#14

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group My mom woke up from dental surgery and when we were leaving the surgeon's office, he gave her a "goodie bag" with floss and a toothbrush and stuff, and the whole way home she kept asking if she could eat the candy that the dentist gave her. Every time I told her there was no candy, she looked so heartbroken, like a little kid when their goldfish dies or something

Then we stopped at CVS on the way home and she wandered off. I found her in the candy aisle holding a giant bag of fun sized candy and when I told her to put it back on the shelf she dropped it on the floor and galloped away laughing at me

Almost__A__Haiku , Upupa4me Report

Final score:

206points

POST

Weed in the Garden 2 years ago

Mum's inner spirit set free....

75points

#15

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Anesthesiologist here. For better or for worse, I’m a big Green Bay Packers fan, so I wear a scrub cap with the Packers name/colors on it.

I was doing a pre-op evaluation on a kid who was a big New Orleans Saints fan, and when I walked into the room, his first words to me were “Packers Suck.” I laughed and continued to get him prepare him and his family for his redo open heart surgery procedure.

Fast forward to surgery a couple days later, and his mom had come back to the OR as he was going to sleep. Given the fact this was a 3 or 4 time redo sternotomy (going into the chest again), he had a higher risk of major complications from the surgery.

I started to push some meds to have him go to sleep while his mom was holding his hand, and as he drifted off, he said “Wait, I have to tell my mom something!” She got emotional saying how much she loved him, and we were all waiting to hear what he had to say so urgently.

I paused giving him the medication, but he was already well on his way to being under, and as he drifted off to sleep, he said “Packers suck.”

Kid did great, hope he is doing well :)

dhslax88 , Mike Morbeck Report

Final score:

199points

POST

Persephone 2 years ago

Poor kid, that's so much to go thru with poor long term prognosis; but... Packers suck. 😆 I hope you are doing well sweetie!

13points

rockchalkjayhawk8082 , Joe Shlabotnik Report

#16

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Was recently under for abdominal surgery. My partner of 17 years who I dearly love was the first face I remember seeing when coming out of anesthesia... I looked at him & said "who the f**k are you & why are you staring at me?" He's still laughing...

Final score:

197points

POST

Deborah Harris 2 years ago

made me laugh anyway lol :D

20points

#17

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Patient here. Came out of anesthesia and heard gotye's "somebody that I used to know" playing in the recovery room. I asked my SO why they were playing it at like 10x the normal speed and the nurse just goes "ok so she's not ready to go home yet" lol

ArchangelEquinox , gotyemusic Report

Final score:

194points

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

When I had my breast cancer surgery, I felt so great when I woke up that I asked the surgeon if she was sure that they remembered to do the operation.

43points

#18

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I got put under for my wisdom teeth at 17. When I came too the nurse or what ever was like “okay you’re probably a little groggy just sit tight for a while.” And I was like “F**K THAT I FEEL AMAZING!” And proceeded to swing my legs off the table which sent my top half spinning right after it and falling flat on my face.

People laughed. I remember the laughter.

solidSC , Lars Plougmann Report

Final score:

186points

POST

Emerald Ocean 2 years ago

I read that as 7 lol instead of 17

31points

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#19

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I was told after surgery I said I love dogs and I want to eat the Taliban.

whitedragontail , Sean MacEntee Report

Final score:

179points

POST

Amy Adams 2 years ago

That is way better than saying you love the Taliban and you want to eat dogs.

19points

#20

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group As I put someone out for a colonoscopy one time, the patient said, “You’re cute. Are you gonna see my butt??” Then she was out.

cosmicencounter1 , Arkangel Report

Final score:

173points

POST

Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago

Why do hospitals and such keep putting people under for basic colonoscopy??? Watching your insides while mildly high is way less risky and kinda entertaining

33points

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)

My husband has had two in the last few years. He’s a big guy, and can be kinda tough when appropriate (never with me), but He. Is. NOT. Good. With. Pain. At. All. So he MUST be unconscious when they probe. Believe me, they do NOT want to try it while he’s awake.

32points

Jj321 2 years ago

My understanding is they put you under what people refer to as twilight. You aren't technically under, you just don't form memories. While not asleep "like general anesthesia, people still often calling it being put under.

14points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

They didn't put my mom all the way out and she said it was agony. She's not assertive but she could have told the doctor.

13points

Kate 2 years ago

My mom just had one. They removed a polyp. You want that while you're awake? Enjoy.

10points

Hey! 2 years ago

I had one at 16 and wasn't put under. I felt EVERYTHING. I was crying, pushing out, trying to grab someone. It was really bad. That was 40 years ago. I hope it's better now.

5points

Dawn Bodtke 2 years ago

I woke up during mine and it was terrifying, was a wreck for a week. Never going there again, put me under.

4points

My O My 2 years ago

In germany you can decide yourself. Some people have no problem just lying there with a doc shoving a cable up in your intestines by the meter, some do have a problem with that. It varys from pain to tension to shame of showing your privat parts. But every reason is a valid one.

3points

Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago

Because of a procedure I had done for intususeption of the bowel at the age of 2, to this day, at the age of 65, my subconscious remembers what happened. I’m difficult to knock out. My doc knows to give me all of the sedation all at once, because if I wake up at any time I have already warned her that I will kick the living daylights out of her out of pure subconscious reflex. Never had a problem.

3points

Selena Stahlecker 2 years ago

I woke up during my colonoscopy and I thought I was going to die. It feels like they are pulling my guts out. That's why they put you under.

3points

Tuna Fish 2 years ago

Yeah but I've always got polyps to be removed (HHT) every three years. Yeah I don't want to watch or be awake while they remove a dozen or so polyps out my colon. Nope.

3points

Isabelle Robson 2 years ago

I've had this done under local anaesthetic, NEVER AGAIN! the pain was horrific, they couldn't finish it & I ended up having it done again by scan. I would never have this done again without general.

3points

Janet Graham 2 years ago

I would rather be totally out.

2points

Cathy Hurd 2 years ago

No it's not

1point

Nicely 2 years ago

Hard agree - I get sedation and pain relief, and I regularly refer to this combo as "the good drugs". Not so good for endoscopy though, if I ever have to have another one I'd better be all the way out. Traumatic as hell even with sedation.

1point

Kate 2 years ago

I have Ulcerative Colitis so I’ve had a lot of colonoscopies and if they put me to sleep, I would not be having them. I woke up once during one and no I did not enjoy seeing inside myself or knowing that this many people could see my naked butt. Good for you but eff no!!

0points

SageHare37 2 years ago

Much like the consensus here, it seems to be individual based on your tolerances. I was told if you've ever been subject to sexual trauma, it's important to inform your practitioner that you need to be completely put under to reduce the likelihood of a PTSD event.

0points

Jaclyn Ciocco 2 years ago

No just no.

0points

Stannous Flouride 2 years ago

I took a blank CD with me the first time to see if they would record it for me.

0points

Synsepalum 2 years ago

I agree so much. The same with the dental "surgery". I've had a colonoscopy and I've had major dental work done, neither of which require general anesthesia. It is very risky and unnecessary.

0points

smugdruggler 2 years ago

In America it's probably so they can charge for it. I had one done a few years ago in the UK and had nothing, not even a sedative and it wasn't painful. Kind of uncomfortable, as you'd expect but the worst thing was being inflated with CO2 so they could see. I agree it was interesting watching my own insides on the screen.

0points

Gigi 2 years ago

I have had 2 and the prep makes me so sick. in the waiting area I was in such bad shape - vomiting, shaking and barely holding it together. I kept telling the nurses I needed something for nausea or I was going to leave and go to ER. They were horrible. When the anesthesia started taking effect I said "I hope I never see any of you people ever again." It's how I truly felt, but would never say!! I actually feel bad, but I've never been back

2points

Oreo Tookie 2 years ago

I have extra colon, and I guess what is a fold in it up near my stomach, because during two Colonoscopies I cried so hard...one they couldn't finish, no pain meds, second with pain meds I said "just finish so I can go home! I want it over with!" Since then, two with anesthesia. Easy! Nice, and no pain! Why wasn't this offered before?!?

2points

Ann Dennis 2 years ago

My husband was put totally out and was glad about it. I was given maybe a muscle relaxant (?) and watched the screen the whole time without pain. Unfortunately I didn't have my glasses on. :(

2points

Eb 2 years ago

I had a colonoscopy with no sedative and it was fine - until the doctor said, give me another eight feet of fibre and I can go up through the stomach, out of your mouth and tie the ends together. Nice that he enjoys his work, though. Don't think you'd be offered a general anaesthetic for that in the UK.

1point

Laura M D 2 years ago

Hey! Completely out of topic but... That's probably an old pic from Andalucía. That used to be the Andalusian health care logo. Greetings from another Andalusian hospital right now! (on duty, not sick)

0points

Janet Graham 2 years ago

I liked whatever they used to put me out. It felt like 1 second had passed but the clock said 20 minutes.

0points

#21

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I was brought home after by my wife but was still loopy. She told the construction workers outside to make sure I didn’t leave the house. They let me help pour concrete and fixed what I f****d up. Nice guys. My daughter made them free lime aid so they were always cool with us.

ownersequity Report

Final score:

169points

POST

Vicky Verz 2 years ago

They seem like a fun bunch

55points

Successful_Ranger_19 , Eli DukeFollow Report

#22

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Patient here,
I was a teen. apparently before I went under I kept mumbling "it's buried don't worry, stop worrying it's buried it's buried it's gone"
My Mom was there & said the staff were eyeballing her uncomfortably and years later to this day every year she still asks me If remember anything? That If ever I need to talk she'll support me no matter what. I honestly do not know what I meant.

Final score:

169points

POST

Hello 2 years ago

Was it a body

34points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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#23

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group When coming to after surgery, I told my MIL that she was naughty and needed a spanking...

Lanndshark , Mark Ramsay Report

Final score:

164points

POST

Vicky Verz 2 years ago

Welp time to leave the spouse and country

90points

dontlooksosurprised Report

#24

As a 17 year old i had a colonoscopy because GI doctors couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t go #2. I mention this as an important detail, because after the colonoscopy I was still very much under the anesthesia effects, loopy, and when my mom tried to offer saltines I started screaming “HOW MANY CALORIES DO THOSE THINGS HAVE” and my mom starts panicking like “calm down, lower your voice, people are gonna think you have an eating disorder or something” and I just said “I CAN’T TALK QUIET WHATS GOING ON”

The ironic thing, was I guess besides dysregulating my ability to control vocal volume, the anesthesia kind of acted like a truth serum in a way. No, no one found out I had an eating disorder until I almost died from it a year later, but I can’t believe that wasn’t taken into consideration as to why I couldn’t go to the bathroom. Can’t poop if you don’t eat

Final score:

162points

POST

Theo Blackwood 2 years ago

Yeah the moment you mentioned the saltines, I could guess what was wrong. I hope you’re okay now.

72points

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#25

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Am patient's relative rather than anaesthesiologist - but as he started going under, patient (hydraulics engineer) started trying to tell the dr what type of pump they should install to fix the busted blood vessel in his brain.

viking_knitter , Les Chatfield Report

Final score:

140points

POST

Glynna Bowood 2 years ago (edited)

aww, that's actually sad in a way.

24points

#26

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I was 17 at the time but got my wisdom teeth taken out. Everything went as planned, but I woke up and remember seeing the oral surgeon. Me, being dosed with grade A giggle juice and having no idea wtf I was doing, asked her if she would like to grab boba sometime. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life…

5 years later: she let me shadow for part of my dental school shadowing requirement and is giving me a LOR for applications next cycle…not a boba date but all things considered, she was a great mentor

Sonny_Ballins , cezzie901 Report

Final score:

139points

POST

Rachknits 2 years ago

Similar experience here - when I was in labour with my son I was given pethidine which made me feel drunk. I remember there was a junior doctor there looking on for experience. I thought he was kind of cute so tried chatting him up while lying down with my legs in stirrups with all, as it were, on display. After my son was born and the drugs had worn off I was a little embarrassed to say the least! Good on him tho as he was very good natured about it.

34points

#27

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Not the anesthesiologist, but as a surgery tech working next to them:

**Patient, woozily:** “Doc, will I still be able to integrate after this?”
**Gas passer:** “Integrate? Like what?”
**Patient:** “Like the sum of f(x) from a to b when…”
**Gas passer:** _pushes more milk of amnesia_

GummyKibble , Robert Couse-Baker Report

Final score:

135points

POST

Cheesenacho 2 years ago

Milk of amnesia! That’s hilarious!

70points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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#28

Patient here. I was getting my wisdom teeth out, and before I went under I told them that bananas are radioactive. When I woke up, I proceeded to repeat that several times and explain radioactivity.

Soggy-Pressure-8745 Report

Final score:

131points

POST

Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago

A very important fact.

39points

#29

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I had a surgery to remove bone spurs from my big toes in early February of 2005. I woke up while the doctor was grinding the bone down and asked if he thought Donovan McNabb could lead the Eagles to a Superbowl win. He nodded at the anesthesiologist and I don't remember anything after that.

The_Spyre , Rachel Lynne Smith Report

Final score:

125points

POST

Jenn Marriott 2 years ago

You must be a Eagles fan!! Go birds

21points

#30

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group One guy said, before falling asleep, “whoa! That feels like a dime bag.”

Any_Move , Maja Dumat Report

Final score:

125points

POST

EpicWolfandSparrow 2 years ago

I don't get it

17points

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#31

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group Surgeon told me that I kept them all laughing through my facial surgery. They had to keep giving me more anesthetic to shut me up, which is probably why I was sick as a dog afterwards. I pressed him hard for details but he refused to tell me what I'd said.

cutelyaware , nosha Report

Final score:

53points

POST

Toby Hawthorne 2 years ago

Dun Dun DUNNNN...

10points

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#32

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group My son, then 10 or so, was coming to after being under when getting his broken wrist set and casted. They had to do traction to get everything aligned or something. There were quite a few people in the room, but his drugged self directed all his attention to me. He was describing Big Daddy from Bioshock and kept repeating, "Dad, you know! You know what I'm talking about!" because I couldn't think of the name of the game at the time. Then he gets frustrated and yells at me, "You son of a b***h!" Lots of laughs from the hospital staff.

perturbeaux , Matt McDaniel Report

Final score:

52points

POST

Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)

Bioshock 2 gave me the most feels of any video game I've ever played. SUCH a good game. Gorgeous graphics, perfect atmosphere, stunning writing/plot. The first Bioshock game was pretty darn good too. And then 2K Games crapped the bed and released Bioshock Infinite :')

2points

#33

30 Funny Things Patients Said While Loopy On Anesthesia, As Shared In This Online Group I have had to get colonscopies every couple years since I was 24, so I've gone under quite a bit for someone my age.

Every time, when I wake up, I'm crying, and a nurse is comforting me. They say I don't tell them why I'm upset, but I'm weeping every damn time. It has gotten to the point where I warn the nurses I'll be sobbing, but to not take it too seriously.

Anyone else have this???

EastSideTilly , Anders Ljungberg Report

Final score:

46points

POST

Miz Chelle 2 years ago

I do!!!!! I have had several shoulder surgeries and they give me a nerve block so I can't feel anything in my arm. But, even though there is no pain, I cry hysterically for a few hours after waking up.

21points

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Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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What do you think ?

POST

Kusotare 2 years ago

During my colonoscopy, apparently I told the doctor that under normal circumstances, he would have to buy me dinner first. I also told him to let me know when to smile for the pictures.

27points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

Ha! I told my doctor when I had a rectal exam that he should at least buy me dinner. He jokingly told me he would buy me lunch.

11points

JMil 2 years ago (edited)

I had my wisdom teeth pulled when I was 15. I was a straight laced kid, never drank or did drugs. Going under, I was feeling amazing, and I said "Mom! I want to do drugs!!!". Edit: Mom is a great sport and was laughing uncontrollably and got major chuckles from the periodontist and assistant.

17points

Al Christensen 2 years ago

I was clean, too, and I never understood why people would take drugs that jacked them up instead of sending them to happy dreamland.

9points

A James 2 years ago

Eglin Air Force Base, I'm 19 and an A1C (E2) getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. Really pretty SSG (E5) red head nurse is taking care of me. Waking up and she says "Hang on and I'll get someone to help you into the wheelchair" I popped up, swung around, and sat down in the wheelchair. She tells me most folks underestimate it and faceplant. I tell her, "Feels like a good Friday night to me! Wanna go out and grab a beer later?" About 2 weeks later I saw her in a local bar and bought her a beer. She then tells me about alllllll the other propositions I sent her way that day. Really good sport about it.

13points

James G. Currie 2 years ago

Lied about your age, eh? 19 is still 2 years too young! lol... Hope the two of you had fun! :)

2points

Wolfe 2 years ago

My brother said a lot of random things after losing his wisdom teeth. Here is a short list: I have a crush on Sabrina Carpenter; me and my friend Josiah are going to bulk up for the ladies; (when told he can't have iced tea) the ice will dilute it and make it less sugary; (when told he can't go to the movies in this state cuz things will pass him by) things won't pass me by! *proceeds to stare diligently out the window so things won't pass him by*

10points

Frances M 2 years ago

I overdosed on nitrous. Weird but true. I was in labour with my last child and they had to burst the water sack to speed up labour as it had been almost a day of active labour at that point (getting dangerous). The pain was so immediate and overwhelming that I started strong deep breaths of nitrous continuously and fell into my head so much that I lost all track of time or space, all I felt was overwhelming pain. At some point I thought I heard an anaesthesiologist in the room so, at some further point, I remember saying “I want an epidural, I know the risks(I named a few) and I still want it” don’t remember anything else until it started working and then my head started clearing… first words out of my mouth were to my husband “oh when did you get here?” He’d been there almost an hour at that point. 🤣 for anyone who wonders, he’d spent the night with our other kids before coming back into the hospital when I told him what they’d planned to do. My mom was then minding them.

10points

The Starsong Princess 2 years ago

My sister and I got our wisdom teeth out out on the same day (maybe they had a twoferone special on, I don’t know.). Anyway, the anesthesia left me loopy but very hungry. On the way home, I loudly demanded McDonald’s several dozen times. My sister was slightly nauseous and started to cry because she thought she would be forced to eat McDonald’s. My poor mother was trying to drive while listening to the shouting and the sobbing.

8points

UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago

My wife’s friend told us that her boyfriend woke up from his colonoscopy and immediately started telling her that he wanted to go home and have an*l sex. He was very loud and she couldn’t get him to shut up about it. So when I woke from my colonoscopy, I told the nurse about my friend who’s boyfriend started talking loudly about an*l sex and how embarrassing that must be! About 20 minutes later I was lucid enough to sheepishly say, “Um…was I telling you about a friend who wouldn’t stop talking about an*l sex when he woke up from his colonoscopy?” She said not to worry and that she’d heard worse, but I apologized anyway. My wife woke up from hers talking about kittens, and I wake from mine talking about a different person’s sexual proclivities. 🙄

8points

Al Christensen 2 years ago

I've been put under a few times and each time I got angry they wanted to wake me up instead of letting me float deliciously along half-conscious for a few more hours. Or days.

8points

James G. Currie 2 years ago

Best one I can remember reading was a story about a guy going in for surgery. As they were preparing to dose him, the surgical nurse leans over to do something, and looks right into his face. He asked "Do I know you? You seem familiar." or some such... She replied (laughing) that they had never met. -- A day or so after the surgery, he almost crapped himself when he remembered the last time he'd seen the nurse in question... Over a shotgun as she was robbing the bank he was in...looked right into his face for several seconds! As I recall, he advised the police, and she was arrested and convicted in short order.

8points

ChickyChicky 2 years ago

Wait, WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT???????

8points

Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago

Had wisdom teeth cut out and I have no idea why but the drugs made me just irritated and angry. I already didn't like the dental surgeon so when he was trying to talk to me I just sat there in silence, refusing to look at him. Thankfully, I knocked out before I could say anything and then waking up I kept asking my mom if I was crying over and over (my brother cried after his surgery because he had been nervous and the drugs just let you let it out). My husband was an angry patient waking up from a procedure and kept getting mad that I wouldn't let him out of bed. I said "not till you eat your saltines and they say you can go." He angrily chewed on the crackers.

6points

Pj Mac 2 years ago

I was out under for a procedure. It was with the same med Michael Jackson died from. I apparently went stuff as a board so they brought me right out of it. Someone asked how I felt. All I said was "nirvana". Nobody says that anymore unless you're talking about the band. People went hysterical when I said that. When I came in the next time the nurse that was there came in & told me what I said. I started laughing so hard. She said the rest of that day whenever anyone said something or asked a question they just shrugged & said nirvana. No, I didn't get high from the drug.

5points

NY Redneck 2 years ago

Had a heart attack a few years ago. When I first got to the hospital they didn't know what was wrong and gave me a shot to "relax me". It knocked me out cold. Shortly after they realized I had an arterial blockage and rushed me to "surgery". I started to wake up with this strange pain in my groin and looked down to see a short middle eastern man in a mask smashing my balls into my thigh, while stabbing me in the groin(angio needle). In my half dazed and fully confused state, my first reaction was to grab the first thing I could and I sat up and tried to stab him. As you could imagine, he was more then a little surprised. They quickly filled my IV with what must have been whatever they use to tranq rhinos, cause I was out in seconds. When everything was over and I was in recovery the Dr came to see me and asked me why I freaked out and what happened. I asked him "How would you feel if you took a nap and woke up to a stranger fondling your balls while stabbing you in the groin?"

5points

Madeline Ravesloot 2 years ago

Had a patient in the OR to remove his tonsils. Nice guy, early twenties. Started chatting up the anesthesia nurse and the anesthesiologist. All homosexual. Even swapped numbers. Finally got him sedated. On waking after the procedure and the endotracheal tube was removed he said: "just like deep throat". He went on all fours to step over to his bed and only wanted pain medication in the form of suppositories. On his follow up appointment, I told him what he had said and done. He cracked up. :)

5points

Candi Cabaniss 2 years ago

I broke my wrist and had to have a pin installed. I was back in recovery and the nurse told me to move my fingers. All wrapped up and such. Me: They're sticky. nurse: Thats the antiseptic wiggle your fingers That's when I flipped her off. I don't remember that part. The conversation yes, but my daughter swears it was true and would not lie about that. She said I looked so proud.

5points

Anette Isaksson 2 years ago

I had an gastric bypass done and after 3-4 weeks i had trouble keeping fluids down an couldn't eat. I went to the hospital to check what was wrong. They discovered I was severely dehydrated and decided to put a tube with a camera down my throat. I told them I had problems with swallowing said tube and asked if they could put me under. In Sweden they generally don't do that so they gave me a sedative to keep me calm. It backfired on them as I panicked and started to fight with the doctor and nurses. Needless to say next time they did put me under. I joked with them and said helmets should be mandatory in cases like mine.

5points

Alysia Grey 2 years ago

After my emergency appendectomy at age 22, I was desparate to talk to my post-op nurse’s manager. When they finally got her to my bedside, I proceeded to cry & tell her how wonderful my post-op nurse was.

5points

Mr.Kris 2 years ago

Right before I passed out (colonoscopy), I apparently looked every person in the room directly in the eye before stating 'No offense, but I hope not to ever see any of your faces ever again!'

5points

Dawn Hamilton-Pollard 2 years ago

I had a 7.5 hour surgery last year to remove a brain tumor. When I was coming out of anesthesia I rubbed my Husband's belly and told him he looked like a Budda Statue.

4points

Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago

My mom had to have a colonoscopy so I set things up with one of my favourite docs, who is kind and soft spoken and an excellent MD. I know this because I work with him everyday I’m at work. When things were finished She came out very groggy but because I was with her (nurse) he came over to talk to my mom. He told her that because he had to remove polyps she would have to have another scope next year. What does she say to my favourite surgeon? “ Up yours doc”.😳 Geeze mom! I work with this man! Thankfully he has a great sense of humour and she was one of his favourite patients.

4points

Ezigma 2 years ago

When I was 16 getting my large intestine removed, I told the doctor not to remove my gut monster though. His name was Protonix.... There were many more surgeries/procedures through my life that I've said other things but I remember that one vividly. That and a morphine high where I asked everyone to "Peeeeeett meeeeeeee!"

4points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Me as I came out of it, after my arm was put back together (10 pieces of metal required): "Why is my arm orange? Why are there little blue men on my arm?"

4points

Lsai Aeon 2 years ago

My son was 6 when he had his tonsils and adenoids removed. He screamed all the way home "I WANT MY TONSILS BACK!!!"

4points

Patti Vance 2 years ago

i had had some internal bleeding and had to have a pocket of blood drained. problem was they had to thread the needle very near my liver and they wanted to do what they term conscious sedation. so, you're awake but, supposedly you are in la-la land. well, the stuff didn't put me in any other land but i was very relaxed and didn't feel the procedure which was done with the assistance of some type of x ray machine. the tech comes out in this get up that i realized was supposed to prevent his getting dosed with the radiation of the machine but all i could say to him was that he looked like duran duran the evil scientist in the very old flick of barbarella. he was surprised i knew the film

3points

howdylee 2 years ago

Aww all these fun comments... i had my wisdom teeth out when i was in my mid 30's. no fun stories from that awakening, just groggy and helped to the recovery area.

3points

Shannon Matthews 2 years ago

I'll be getting anesthesia in two days when I have shoulder surgery. I can only hope that I say something funny and memorable as I'm going under.

3points

Yettichild 2 years ago

I'm having knee surgery in two weeks and was thinking the same thing. Good luck with yours!

3points

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)

Some years ago, I had 2 surgeries at the same hospital within less than a year. 2nd time: I was about to get my general anaesthetic, and talking to one of the nurses. She said the usual, "you'll now feel a bit dizzy, start mumbling stuff maybe, and be gone". I answered something like, "Mumbling? Do people say weird stuff?" And she got really really uncomfortable, wouldn't look at me anymore and softly said, "yes". It dawned on me later that I must have said something really weird in my first session, and she remembered me. -- Ever since, I have a crippling fear of being put under and saying something awkward or disturbing. ☹

3points

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)

Also from the same surgery session: I woke up and my arms were tied to the bed! I'm like wtf?? They say, ok you are awake, can you behave?, and reluctantly untied me. Surgeon told me next day that while coming out of the fog, I tried to rip the respirator out of my throat and they had to tie me down. "There were three men holding you and tying your arms and they had a hard time! Incredible how such a small person can have such strength." (Felt a bit proud after that, I'm a girl of 164 cm) Edit: should add that it was wrist surgery so it was for my own good, I was using the freshly stitched up hand.

2points

Brenda 2 years ago

Son had dental surgery. Coming out he kept asking for some game. Finally got him home. Hubby helping him up the stairs. Told him to take his pants off when putting him to bed. Son says "I got this!" and drops his pants right there. Laughed so hard I cried. After my dental surgery, hubby is taking me home before getting Rx's.I decided I wanted to go with him, yanked the steering wheel to turn. Luckily no Cara. People in CVS apparently got to see my stitches

3points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

When I had my tonsils out at 12 apparently I woke up screaming get this fücking dog off of me! My mom could hear me screaming all the way in the waiting room. I just remember waking up feeling like something was on my chest and I imagined that it was my big Golden retriever. In reality I was just having trouble breathing and they were giving me oxygen.

3points

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

I've had many surgeries (8 I think...I've lost track) and apparently I say funny stuff every time. My two favorites are from when I was pretty young. At 9-10 y/o going under "don't let me hit the wall" waking up "why'd you let me do that, walls hurt" and when the oral surgeon knocked me out to get my wisdom teeth out I woke up crying that they took my shoes...the shoes that were on my feet. I'm in my 40s and I still get c**p about the shoe thing. Whispering softly "Am I wearing pants?" after a shoulder surgery was also a pretty good one.

3points

basil 2 years ago

When I was put under anaesthesia at age 7, I remember saying "that smells nice" before passing out, and then waking up and saying "that was quick"

3points

Bec 2 years ago

The one time I've been under the anesthesiologist put something to smell of garlic in the gas so you knew when it was on.

0points

April Hodakowski 2 years ago

My oldest son had his tonsils and adenoids removed. His father had told him that all men wake up with an erection after surgery. He was 16. After his surgery he kept lifting up his blanket and checking to make sure he didn't pop a tent. He didn't remember doing it but did ask his dad a few days later if he'd had an erection.

2points

TheDivineMsM 2 years ago

After being put under for a root canal, I kept telling my husband to pull the car over because I wanted to spit. We were on the interstate- and I wanted him to pull the car over so I could spit.

2points

Hannah Hudson-Lee 2 years ago

After surgery, my nurse in recovery introduced herself when I came around. She said, "Hi, my name is Gopi, and I'll be looking after you." I replied, "Why are you called cauliflower? It makes a pretty name though." Then fell asleep again. To clarify, I misheard Gopi as Gobi, which does mean cauliflower in Hindi. I apologised later, and she was cool about it.

1point

Gid_Monster 2 years ago

My ex-boyfriend has his wisdom teeth removed and apparently his grandmother (he was the favorite grandchild) promised him jaffles (it's a type of sandwich) after surgery. Well, the minute he started waking up he was going on and on about his jaffles and 'where are his jaffles?'. Even with me trying to calm him, he was going on about it non-stop. And loudly. By the time his brother showed up with the sandwiches, literally the family of the patient he shared his recovery room with, were jumping for joy, shouting 'Are those the jaffles? Thank God!'

1point

Trentin Quarantino 2 years ago

What country are you all in where you get knocked out for colonoscopies? I recently had one with no sedation, no pain relief, and no muscle relaxants (eastern Europe). Most of the time it felt like I really needed to $h!t but going around the corners was agony!

1point

Trish Smith 2 years ago

USA

1point

Cleo Neufeld 2 years ago

Had to be put under for a knee surgery. The guy who put me under was kinda stand offish. When I woke up and still loopy, I told him he was a HOT doctor and he belonged on the cover of hot doctor magazine lol

0points

Not Sweet but Psycho 2 years ago

I remember this but I was still very loopy, not really in control & my vision was like the fisheye filter. Last year, age 16, I got my bottom wisdom teeth out. I was in a long distance relationship & showed my love through music, videos & memes. At one point, I made a animation-like YouTube video for my girlfriend using Gacha Life (if you know, you know) and the song "Mmm Yeah" by Austin Mahone & Pitbull. This is relevant because, before I was put to sleep I was having a conversation with the dentists and had told them about my girlfriend. And as soon as I woke up, I pull my phone out of my pocket, open YouTube and show them the video I made. They laughed & complimented it, wheeled me outside to my mom and helped me into the car. I was also talking a lot and trying to have full on conversations with everyone we passed on our way out. She told me to stop talking or else she was gonna tell the dentist on me, which shut me up because I didn't want to get trouble. We had already left -_-

0points

Matthew Levine 2 years ago

My uncle after an endoscopy believed for a good hour he was 8 years old (he was 48). My mother had to force him in the car while he was crawling around crying for ice cream. This is the reason why both me and my mother had our endoscopy clean.

0points

Jackie Lulu 2 years ago

I woke up in the middle of cataract surgery. There was music and the doc and some others were singing. So I sang along with them, so I was told later.

0points

Bubbles and sparks 2 years ago

I was in labour and the medication I got to dull the pain a bit, made me quite drowsy... But all of a sudden I got this very clear moment and said: "There is only one real Tarzan, and that's Johnny Weismüller!" Hadn't watch Tarzan in decades 😂

0points

kcanded 2 years ago

I highly recommend taking the short term memory stuff they offer. The worst thing about it is the sharp pains you experience when trying to fart afterwards...they pump you up with air to make sure they see everything.

0points

Bruce Leibee 2 years ago

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POST

Kusotare 2 years ago

During my colonoscopy, apparently I told the doctor that under normal circumstances, he would have to buy me dinner first. I also told him to let me know when to smile for the pictures.

27points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

Ha! I told my doctor when I had a rectal exam that he should at least buy me dinner. He jokingly told me he would buy me lunch.

11points

JMil 2 years ago (edited)

17points

Al Christensen 2 years ago

I was clean, too, and I never understood why people would take drugs that jacked them up instead of sending them to happy dreamland.

9points

A James 2 years ago

13points

James G. Currie 2 years ago

Lied about your age, eh? 19 is still 2 years too young! lol... Hope the two of you had fun! :)

2points

Wolfe 2 years ago

10points

Frances M 2 years ago

10points

The Starsong Princess 2 years ago

8points

UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago

8points

Al Christensen 2 years ago

I've been put under a few times and each time I got angry they wanted to wake me up instead of letting me float deliciously along half-conscious for a few more hours. Or days.

8points

James G. Currie 2 years ago

8points

ChickyChicky 2 years ago

Wait, WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT???????

8points

Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago

6points

Pj Mac 2 years ago

5points

NY Redneck 2 years ago

5points

Madeline Ravesloot 2 years ago

5points

Candi Cabaniss 2 years ago

5points

Anette Isaksson 2 years ago

5points

Alysia Grey 2 years ago

5points

Mr.Kris 2 years ago

Right before I passed out (colonoscopy), I apparently looked every person in the room directly in the eye before stating 'No offense, but I hope not to ever see any of your faces ever again!'

5points

Dawn Hamilton-Pollard 2 years ago

I had a 7.5 hour surgery last year to remove a brain tumor. When I was coming out of anesthesia I rubbed my Husband's belly and told him he looked like a Budda Statue.

4points

Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago

4points

Ezigma 2 years ago

4points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Me as I came out of it, after my arm was put back together (10 pieces of metal required): "Why is my arm orange? Why are there little blue men on my arm?"

4points

Lsai Aeon 2 years ago

My son was 6 when he had his tonsils and adenoids removed. He screamed all the way home "I WANT MY TONSILS BACK!!!"

4points

Patti Vance 2 years ago

3points

howdylee 2 years ago

Aww all these fun comments... i had my wisdom teeth out when i was in my mid 30's. no fun stories from that awakening, just groggy and helped to the recovery area.

3points

Shannon Matthews 2 years ago

I'll be getting anesthesia in two days when I have shoulder surgery. I can only hope that I say something funny and memorable as I'm going under.

3points

Yettichild 2 years ago

I'm having knee surgery in two weeks and was thinking the same thing. Good luck with yours!

3points

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)

3points

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)

2points

Brenda 2 years ago

3points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

3points

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

3points

basil 2 years ago

When I was put under anaesthesia at age 7, I remember saying "that smells nice" before passing out, and then waking up and saying "that was quick"

3points

Bec 2 years ago

The one time I've been under the anesthesiologist put something to smell of garlic in the gas so you knew when it was on.

0points

April Hodakowski 2 years ago

2points

TheDivineMsM 2 years ago

After being put under for a root canal, I kept telling my husband to pull the car over because I wanted to spit. We were on the interstate- and I wanted him to pull the car over so I could spit.

2points

Hannah Hudson-Lee 2 years ago

1point

Gid_Monster 2 years ago

1point

Trentin Quarantino 2 years ago

1point

Trish Smith 2 years ago

USA

1point