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As a society—doesn’t matter which one—we’re past calling each other idiots or other simple, mono-to-duo-syllabic insults. And that’s for the best. Because when you start elevating the level of the insult, making it complex, witty or outright comedic, it’s no longer acting upon an impulse of hate. No… it’s an exercise in creativity that knows no boundaries.

And while this is not a rule, nor a statistic, equating someone’s lack of skill or cranial aptitude to a meteorological phenomenon might just crack them up to a degree where they couldn’t even be mad at you. And then you’d hug and forget why you were even arguing in the first place.

Now, apply that same logic between Americans and Europeans. This is that story.

We've also contacted Dr. Jeffrey Rubin, psychologist, author, and the man behind the From Insult To Respect blog, to discuss insults.

#1

On Measuring

On Measuring

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Miki
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saying mathematicians were involved in a process is a compliment :p

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    #2

    USA! USA! We're Number 1... Except When It Comes To Medical Expenses

    USA! USA! We're Number 1... Except When It Comes To Medical Expenses

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    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How does having a flag on the moon make you free? By that logic, people living in China would now also be free.

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    Insults are, to put it simply, a way to offend and be rude to people. This is often done in the hopes of belittling, offending or humiliating folks who may or may not deserve it.

    The deeper reasons as to why people do that can vary wildly and are complex in their nature. But to keep with the simplicity of this explanation, it can come from a place of anger, pain, trauma, guilt, bigotry, lack of self-esteem, patience, or just plain old not knowing any better.

    #5

    *European Confusion*

    *European Confusion*

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    Noname
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I recently needed to take a ride in not one but two wee-yoo wagons-- one to the nearest hospital ER and then the second to a different hospital for the necessary surgery. With my national healthcare coverage, I paid €7,86. An Uber would've cost a lot more, and have no paramedics to keep me stable.

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    However, insults can also be a form of bonding among friends. Dr. Jeffrey Rubin, psychologist, author, and the man behind the From Insult To Respect blog, discussed this in a post of his. Bored Panda got in touch with Dr. Rubin for an interview.

    To put it simply, insults can be fun, and fun means laughter, and laughter means a pleasant experience. If anything, insults among friends can be a way of telling them you like them “without being mawkish about it.” 

    #7

    The English Language Can Be Tricky

    The English Language Can Be Tricky

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    #8

    Damn. I Always Thought England Was Made Up To Scare The French

    Damn. I Always Thought England Was Made Up To Scare The French

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    #9

    America Is The Reason You Have Cars

    America Is The Reason You Have Cars

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    Aww but Eww
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never gets old ! 🙃 https://youtube.com/shorts/QH1GgIJ7TPs?si=p6eJXfchdXHZ7QM6

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    We asked Dr. Rubin if this idea of insults among friends as a way of bonding can extend to countries and continents.

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    “I think so. Although, it’s useful to keep in mind that the very joke that will delight some will deeply offend others. Unless the humorist is willing to deal with the blowback, such humor might be wisely avoided.”

    “There are types of humor to be avoided in either case. Jokes directed at the people of another country that can’t change, such as some facial characteristic or color of their skin, or some historical event that has long passed serves nothing positive. Much better are quips about some behavior that has the potential to be improved, so it spurs some thoughtful consideration. The safest humor, in my opinion, is directed to something that occurs in one’s own country as well as the other country or countries so, in this way, a shared bond is created.”

    #10

    American vs. European Homes

    American vs. European Homes

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    #12

    Cotton Candy

    Cotton Candy

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    SewingStaffy
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    British here, everyone I know calls it candy floss. Liking fairy floss though

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    While it can be a case of superiority, bigotry, comebacks, and the like when it comes to international relations, there’s also this thing called friendly rivalry. Friendly rivalries are competitions between parties at odds with each other over certain issues, but they do so in a civil and sometimes humorous manner.

    #13

    Education

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    TheElderNom
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm certain that someone will say that Switzerland is American since America beat them in a war.

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    #14

    Dumb Europeans

    Dumb Europeans

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    #15

    When You Try To Roast Europe For Not Being Knowledgeable Enough About Coffee, But Europe Has A Reverse Uno Card Up Its Sleeve

    When You Try To Roast Europe For Not Being Knowledgeable Enough About Coffee, But Europe Has A Reverse Uno Card Up Its Sleeve

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    GoGoPDX
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awe, I don't fault this person. There is so much to learn and understand about another country and their culture, that it is impossible to learn everything, or even a sliver of everything when traveling. I have a friend who immigrated from Malaysia, and even after being here for a couple years, told me one day how they really wanted to buy a " Christmas donut". I thought it was cute that he was getting excited over what I thought, and most native English speaking US Americans would conclude, a red and green decorated donut. Well, I brought him just that a couple days later and learned through some laughs, he was talking about a Christmas wreath! As long as someone is trying, we really shouldn't judge when they don't know every little difference or intricacy of things. These people were in a new country with a different language, money, culture, etc and learned that Latte means milk, and Cafe Latte means the coffee drink.

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    A good example of friendly rivalry can be seen among universities. They often keep up friendly rivalries amongst each other as this sort of civil competition pushes these institutions to bring to the forefront their very best, knowing well enough that if it is lacking, it will be pushed to second place.

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    Another example is friendly rivalries among military units. These also have the potential for encouraging internal cohesion through sports competitions, with some members excelling more productively as a result.

    #16

    French

    French

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    Appalachian Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here in the US we only set things on fire when the team we support wins a sporting championship.

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    #18

    Americans, Please Confirm

    Americans, Please Confirm

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    Now, it is important to note that constructive humor has to be done right. Hence, insults have to be well thought out to be able to achieve the aim of positive change.

    “Great humor is designed to spur some thoughtful consideration about something that can potentially be changed,” explains Dr. Rubin. “Focus on a topic about something you believe needs changing and make that the target of your humor.”

    #19

    Silly Americans And Their Weird Lingo Amirite?

    Silly Americans And Their Weird Lingo Amirite?

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    Charlie the Cat
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, this one made me spit out my tea! Yes we do call it a k**b of butter in the UK

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    #20

    Americans On The Internet Always Think Everyone Else Is American

    Americans On The Internet Always Think Everyone Else Is American

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    #21

    Hmmmmmmm

    Hmmmmmmm

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    GoGoPDX
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ❗❗it has come to my attention that this comment is not accurate and does not reflect the reality of Cinco De Mayo. I was taught throughout childhood an inaccurate version of why this holiday is celebrated, among other things (whitewashed history is a real issue). I am sorry if I hurt or offended anyone and I will continue to educate myself about this subject. I am only human, and made a mistake, but I want to learn from it to be better. Thank you to all who commented and brought this to my attention. I am leaving my original post how it is, because I don't want to erase my mistake, I would rather bring attention to it to show that we all still have a lot to learn about others in this country and world ✌️❤️We do celebrate Cinco De Mayo, which is the Mexican Revolution. It isn't a national holiday, but it is celebrated. Lots of fairs, parties, etc. Mexican Americans make up a huge portion of our population, and over the years, many non Mexican Americans have participated in celebrating Cinco De Mayo, some just for a reason to celebrate and party, others because it has integrated to become part of their communities culture especially if you grew up or live in towns and cities with a large Latino community. If we had a Russian American population as big as the Mexican American population, we would more than likely do the same for Red October Revolution. Say what you will about the US, we have many, many issues. But one thing we do well is integrate others cultures and traditions fairly well, since we are technically a country made up of immigrants. And yes, there is a part of our population, (ahem, the right wing, red hat wearing, red staters) that throw a big fit about anything that isn't "white, Christian, and and revolved around them" the majority of us really love the variety that other cultures bring

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    Another form of insulting that can possibly be justified is found in dealing with difficult people. It is a knee-jerk reaction to being bad-mouthed that actually starts adding nuance to insults.

    You see, this situation is no longer necessarily coming from a place of pain or anger. Instead, it’s fighting fire with fire because it’s a form of self-defense. Either that, or the one throwing insults stepped out of line and you simply asked them to get back behind it. And that can be justified.

    #23

    Confused Non Americans

    Confused Non Americans

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    #24

    Healthcare

    Healthcare

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    PeTeH
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do Americans think that countries with national health care don't also have private health care providers?

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    If anything, creative insults can very effectively derail and thus defuse an argument. How? Because we tend to laugh at unexpected things.

    So, if you’re creative enough, you might just make your insulter laugh so much, they might just end up embarrassed and storm out or they might also accept defeat and apologize. And if you can hug it out in the end, hey, that’s all that matters.

    #25

    Europeans Try To Come Up With An Original Joke Challenge (Impossible)

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    #26

    "At Least American Toilets Aren't Just Holes In The Ground"

    "At Least American Toilets Aren't Just Holes In The Ground"

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    Terran
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, completely normal plumbing. *Nervously looks at plumbing that was improvised by some dude in 1923 into the 800yo wall and was expended 7 times and is still in use because you need at least three plumbers and 8 archaeologists to do anything with it*

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    #27

    Americans Are Asleep, Let's Mock Their Accents

    Americans Are Asleep, Let's Mock Their Accents

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    Painted Dog
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is awesome. Went to the US as a kid, and with English as a second language, the way they run their words with no real spaces made understanding them really hard.

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    Another thing to keep in mind with insults is that they change with time. What was once a joke that could pass as appropriate might no longer be available for whipping out in casual conversation. And vice versa.

    “In many places in the U.S., jokes about gay people and cross-dressers are still regularly heard, but they have lost much of the meanness that was typical in earlier times,” elaborates Dr. Rubin. “I think that recent literature and films that depict these people in a much more sympathetic manner than the past is largely the reason for this.”

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    #28

    Do Europeans Have A Spice Rack?

    Do Europeans Have A Spice Rack?

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    Fraxinus excelsior
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quick question, not being an a**e or anything, but why don't Americans pronounce Herbs how it is spelled, with a H rather than Erbs?

    Alex Martin
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because of the 1828 Convention on Standardized Naming that was held in Philadelphia. There was a furious row between two would-be leaders Henry Hendricks and Thomas Black. The rivalry became quite personal and threatened to end the convention until the sixth day when Hendricks failed to attend the convention. He was never seen again. A victorious Thomas Black used his advantage to make the letter H silent in the word herb as a final insult to the man he is rumored to have disappeared. Honestly who the heck knows. If you can explain how aluminum got to be aluminium in British pronunciation you'll find your silent H.

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    Kristof De Smet
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the amounts of "cheese" Americans use...I mean, I don't need cheese in everything, thank you.

    Roan The Demon Kitty
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet America loves european food. (burgers, pizza, apple pie, hotdogs, bagels, dougnuts...)

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can have potato. Maybe with a Schnitzel. We also have different forms of potato. They still taste like salt.

    Somethingpenguin
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely gonna offend someone, but aren't they the reason spices are so popular, because they kept tryna get them

    CanadianaKa
    Community Member
    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What with the spice trade literally having caused much of the original global colonization race by Europe...

    Sonja
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your only garlic, parsley, and thyme are in the spice rack, you should really hit the produce section more often.

    Vinny DaPooh
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe the OP really meant British food. They conquered the world to get spices they refused to use. Most of Europe has tasty food.

    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Forgot mayonnaise. It is a condiment and an appetizer - fried mayonnaise balls.

    Kaedyn Walsh
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget the letters H and Z. USA: "aitch & zee". UK etc: "Haitch & zed".

    Cyril Sneer
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most people I know in the UK say aitch, but a few say haitch. In RP English (the official pronunciation of British English used for teaching, and what used to be used by broadcasters) it is aitch

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    someone needs to tell them WHY europeans went round colonising places like india.

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I raise you 1/2 m² of Schieberle aka plastic containers, sorted as follows: non mixed spices, mixed spices, for sweets and christmas, every day

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    les
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hey we fought many wars and thousands of people died to win those spices. why the f**k would we go to all that hassle only to turn around and eat them. we aint birds so we sure aint gonna be growing more from our shite

    Natalie Kelsey
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Conquered a hundred countries for their spices.... doesn't use the spices in their cooking. :\

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    #29

    Celsius

    Celsius

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    Gustav Gallifrey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh-oh, listen up you 185 countries that use Celsius (you can go back to sleep, you 10 countries that use Fahrenheit, all except one of which are American possessions or protectorates): the Americans have threatened to stop ourcallowance unless we see sense and revert to Fahrenheit immediately!

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    #30

    S'mores And The Great British Bake Off

    S'mores And The Great British Bake Off

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    80 Van
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The trick to a good s’more is to not let the marshmallow burst into flames over the campfire. That’s it. That’s all the instructions.

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    Whatever the case, if you need more input on your comedic repertoire, this Bored Panda list about hilarious comebacks might just hit the spot.

    Be sure to also check out Dr. Rubin’s work on From Insults To Respect as well as his “Cool Steve” trilogy of novels and a free ebook on dealing with criticism.

    Or, if you’re already gifted at roasting people like they’re a rotisserie chicken, then why not share your know-how and jokes in the comment section below!

    #31

    I Saw A Map That Compared Texas To Europe And I Didn’t Know That Texas Was So F**king Large

    I Saw A Map That Compared Texas To Europe And I Didn’t Know That Texas Was So F**king Large

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    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You may have states larger than the UK, and that doesn't change the fact that London is still f*cking huge.

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    #32

    American Television According To Europeans

    American Television According To Europeans

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    #33

    Someone: "American's Aren't Uneducated!" Americans:

    Someone: "American's Aren't Uneducated!" Americans:

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    #34

    After All The Years Of British People Saying Americans Don’t Know Anything

    After All The Years Of British People Saying Americans Don’t Know Anything

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    Mat Hall
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In defence of the GBBO, I suspect in the Mexican equivalent nobody would be able to pronounce Worcestershire sauce or know what a plum duff is...

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    #35

    Americans

    Americans

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    Poison Ivy/Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Over the years of living in the UK I have adapted to using the British names for things (elevator/lift, sidewalk/pavement, vacation/holiday etc), but I will not give up my pronunciation of mirror......it will always be "mir" to me lol.

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    #36

    Football

    Football

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    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    New sport! Play both ways, same field, simultaneously! Four teams take the field but teams for both versions are paired up and can help each other out...

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