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Moderator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
I have consistently had a problem with my husband refusing to clean up/pick up his trading cards on a regular basis. I’ll pick them up and put them away every couple of weeks or so when I get tired of looking at the mess, but I’m handling all the other housework as well (we both work full time, but his week is about 60+ hours while mine is 40), so I don’t have time to do this every day. Our dining table is so covered with them that we have no room to sit there.
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So one day, I got fed up and I told him, “these need to be picked up on a daily basis, or the next time I have to do it, I’m getting rid of them”
Image credits: Erik Mclean (not the actual photo)
Lo and behold, he does nothing. So I picked them all up again, and instead of throwing them away (some of them are valuable, and I’m not petty or foolish enough to just throw away money), I hid them all in his sock drawer.
He came home that night and asked me where they were right away because he had sold one of the cards
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez (not the actual photo)
I told him I’d thrown them out like I said I would. That he was aware of the consequences, and that he had a chance to deal with the mess before I ever got involved. He was quietly mad, but he called the buyer back right away and told them that the sale was off.
Then I showed him the drawer with all his stuff in it, and I think he was more mad about that than about me actually throwing the cards away
Image credits: Die Handwerksmeister (not the actual photo)
I’m not saying I did the right thing; I know it was petty and childish. But I’ve been trying to ask nicely for the better part of a month, and he’s just not paying attention to it. I’ve spent upwards of $100 on organizers and shelves for him to use to put this stuff away, and they might as well be decorations for all the good they’re doing. I feel like nothing I do seems to matter. How bad did I just mess up?
Moderator’s note:
Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
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What do you think ?
Strawberry Pizza 12 months ago
NTA. He needed a shock to the system to understand that you were serious, and by not actually throwing out the cards you gave him that shock without actually doing anything wrong.
Kim Hessel 11 months ago
Your husband is an open space organizer, he wont take the time to put things in tiny designated places. Get a pretty basket. Put it on the table. Say, "this is for your cards. When you are done with them, dump them in here." He's 90% more likely to clean if you make cleaning an easy task. For people like him (and myself) baskets are your best friend.
Jeevesssssss 11 months ago
I agree with giving this a try. I didn't realise this til my 30s but it's really helped - I have quite bad executive dysfunction because of my Asperger's so basically I have organisation issues ++. But bigger tubs I can put related stuff in keeps the mess itself contained, I know where things are, and clearing up is simple. It's similar to how things work with waste in the kitchen - things go in the bin to be put out in the outside rubbish bin, a tub that goes out into the recycling bin, and into a food waste bin to go in the outside food waste bin (though obviously I don't throw out my stuff lol, I just put it in the appropriate tub.)
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Zedrapazia 12 months ago
Honestly, should have opened up about the lie before he told the buyer the deal was off. It's not the buyers fault what happened
Kira McPherson (Post author) 12 months ago
He didn't tell me about the buyer til after I told him the cards were gone. As soon as I found out, I told him where they were, but he'd already called the buyer back by then.
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Strawberry Pizza 12 months ago
NTA. He needed a shock to the system to understand that you were serious, and by not actually throwing out the cards you gave him that shock without actually doing anything wrong.
Kim Hessel 11 months ago
Your husband is an open space organizer, he wont take the time to put things in tiny designated places. Get a pretty basket. Put it on the table. Say, "this is for your cards. When you are done with them, dump them in here." He's 90% more likely to clean if you make cleaning an easy task. For people like him (and myself) baskets are your best friend.
Jeevesssssss 11 months ago
I agree with giving this a try. I didn't realise this til my 30s but it's really helped - I have quite bad executive dysfunction because of my Asperger's so basically I have organisation issues ++. But bigger tubs I can put related stuff in keeps the mess itself contained, I know where things are, and clearing up is simple. It's similar to how things work with waste in the kitchen - things go in the bin to be put out in the outside rubbish bin, a tub that goes out into the recycling bin, and into a food waste bin to go in the outside food waste bin (though obviously I don't throw out my stuff lol, I just put it in the appropriate tub.)
Load More Replies... Zedrapazia 12 months ago
Honestly, should have opened up about the lie before he told the buyer the deal was off. It's not the buyers fault what happened
Kira McPherson (Post author) 12 months ago
He didn't tell me about the buyer til after I told him the cards were gone. As soon as I found out, I told him where they were, but he'd already called the buyer back by then.
Load More Replies...
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