Jesus Christ. Leave this guy!!! And build up better boundaries quick.

Oh my goodness. So much to unpack here. Firstly, your husband is not a good person. He is an abusive alcoholic. Stop trying to change him. He wont change. Leave him. You need to have some very firm words with your brother about his alcohol use. If he cannot appropriately manage his insulin when he drinks, then neither you or your daughter/other children should be anywhere near him when he does.

Your brothers a POS too. Leave them both. Press charges for his assault on you and your daughter. Make sure hubs knows he's next, then leave. Low blood sugar doesn't cause you to get randomly violent, alcohol does. Your brother has an alcohol problem causing his behavior, not a diabetes problem. That's just his excuse to be an alcoholic.

I think you have bigger issues than just your husband not grappling your psychotic brother away from you. I also would consider VERY CAREFULLY if it's really worth playing back any recording of your husband's angry ranting/yelling to him - it may enrage him and cause him to become violent or grab and break your phone. Ask me how I know. Your husband isn't going to change or suddenly gasp and say "OMG, I've been such a bad husband and father!" and have an epiphany if you play back a recording to him. I think you need to consider that you have FIVE children that you are subjecting to this abusive relationship. It's not just about you and him yelling at you. Your children (whichever ones still live with you; you mentioned your daughter has a fiancé) are being harmed by this relationship. Time to grow up and be a mom and realize it's not just about you and how you feel. You will not change him. You can't change him. I put 23 years into a relationship thinking I'd change my bf. I couldn't.

OP did nothing wrong in recording hubs. I wish there had been cellphones back when I was married to my ex hubs so I could've recorded the s**t that he said he *didn't* say.

Honey, please leave this marriage.

You are the only one who can decide what is best and safest for you and your children. Do you wish for your kids to repeat your own patterns, or his? My ex was an alcoholic abuser, and he escalated when drinking. I almost died because of him. Please get out, it's not safe, but you're already half way there. Bring a constable or other police officer with you to protect your safety, and prevent him from accusations of theft or vandalism, and get as much as you can of your possessions, especially birth certificates, photos, things that aren't easily replaced, then get counseling for yourself and your kids, there's a lot of healing needed, and you need to delve more deeply into any fears you have of alcohol abuse of your own.

S.h.i.t.s.h.o.w.

Have you tried turning your husband off and on again? It seems he has a nasty virus that has corrupted the whole system... it may be easier to just junk the old model and upgrade to a new one.

Unfortunately, growing up around your abusive brother helped set you up to accept an abuse husband. Your kids growing up around this will think abuse Is okay/normal and are statistically more likely to get into abusing relationships themselves or be abusers. For your and your kids’ safety and health, leave your husband.

Another concern: you mention that you have made him change his behaviours a lot over the last 5 years, and then again that you got back together because you thought he had changed. OP, I say this with nothing but kindness and understanding, but you love the man you WANT him to be, not the man he IS. Unfortunately, you don't get to take the pieces you like and try to swap out the bits you don't. You either accept him AND the parts you don't like, or you decide the things you don't like are unacceptable to you and end it. And you already know that it's the latter. Do everyone involved a big favour and end this unhealthy relationship; no one is getting what they need here.

This is a toxic relationship and everyone is drinking far too much. This concerns the heck out of me. Leave him and move on and maybe don’t drink so much.

I considered recording conversations with my now ex, but he would go on for hours,. I journaled asap afterwards before I would forget. I recommend reading Why Does He Do That (if you google the title and 'pdf' you can find it free). If you prefer podcast try Love and Above. These are some of the free resources I found when I was questioning my relationship.

Get out now. You are in danger and so are the kids and any pets. And you should quit drinking.

The first time my ex-husband got drunk, verbally abused me for a couple of hours, then demanded a divorce, we hadn’t even been married three months. I accepted the tearful apology next morning. Over the years, he progressed from verbal and some physical abuse (shoving me around) when drunk to not being drunk but still abusing me. Every disagreement no matter how trivial turned into a screaming session and “we should get divorced”. He knew I’d back away from something so significant over the fact I asked him nicely to put his dirty socks in the laundry basket not on a coffee table in the living room. It took me 12 years, 12 fücking years of escalating abuse until I finally realized, I didn’t love him any more, didn’t even like him, I’d be relieved if he died! What I’m trying to say is I understand how hard it is to let go. How many times you tell yourself it’ll be different this time. It won’t. Things will never get better; they may get much worse. Mine literally tried to kill me in drunk rage fits twice. Please, grab all your paperwork, your kids and LEAVE.

My early years were spent watching my parents grow further and further apart, to the point where they slept in separate bedrooms. But I wasn't aware of how bad things had gotten until one fateful day. Do you have ANY idea what it does to a child to see their parents tearing at each other? It makes their whole world unstable. If you believe for one millisecond that your children are unaware of what's going on, you are sadly mistaken. You need to leave--NOW. Get the sheriff to assist you, if necessary, but GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Emotional and verbal abuse can escalate to physical abuse in a flash, and alcohol seems to be the spark that can ignite it. Do you want your kids to see Daddy hit (or end) Mommy? That would ALSO impact your children's mental stability. If you stay, it won't be long before they'll end up living with relatives or in a children's shelter, your husband with the police, and you with the medical examiner (voice of experience).

They all sound like raging alcoholics. For kids' sake I hope she dries out. Her brother will off himself by ignoring his diabetes that way.

Why are you still married to such an alcoholic abusive prick? Get a divorce. You have a big husband problem and run when you still can. Rules are not bad for kids but his rules seem far too strict, in a few years he''ll wonder why all of his kids went NC with him.