I'd say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, that's not going to be possible on such short notice. Why don't we plan something for next week?" and then give some options. There are people who do everything last minute, and others who like everything planned.

How you spend your time is up to you. She can be disappointed all she wants, but if she really wanted to see you, she'd know to give you more notice. "Sorry, I already have plans. I wish I'd known sooner, but maybe we can plan something together soon." The end.

obviously this is a person who lives near by. If she was that close of a friend, you would see her more often. I wouldn't feel bad about not going to her gathering in the slightest.

It's up to you to decide how to use your time. You don't owe an explanation as to why you won't attend. It's disappointing the poll responses are explain, apologize, feel guilty, or force yourself to go, when none of these are required. Thank your friend for the invitation, but say you won't make it to this one. If you're interested in catching up with the friend, suggest making plans another time.

On the surface I'd say NTA Buuuut the "you could have made an effort" sentiment makes me think that this isn't a one time thing. Have there been other, less spontaneous plans that have been cancelled or declined recently? How often have you tried to make plans with this person? Yes, you are entitled to your alone time, and no one should feel obligated to attend a last minute event, but maintaining friendships takes effort, and if you're not putting any into the relationship eventually people will start feeling like they aren't important to you, and eventually you'll stop being invited at all.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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So someone you haven't seen in a long time demands you show up to a last-minute thing? Yeah, NO!

I've had times I've had to cancel on friends I haven't seen in a while BECAUSE resting was crucial after a long week or bad work day. And they understand because they're my friends and know exactly where I'm coming from. Sometimes they may need to cancel, too, and I get it.

NTA. You're under no obligation to show up because she invites you. Doesn't matter if you haven't seen eachother for some time. You could always propose to get together on a later date.

How very dull and low-stakes.