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Hey Pandas, AITA For Wishing I Hadn’t Married Into This Family Because Of My Toxic MIL?
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Hey Pandas, AITA For Wishing I Hadn’t Married Into This Family Because Of My Toxic MIL?

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Moderator’s note:

If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.

I used to like my mother-in-law, but after 23 years of being married to her son, I’ve realized how manipulative and toxic she is and hate her.

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    After each birth of our 5 children, she created a wedge between my husband and I because she wanted to hold her grandchild before I was ready and he felt guilty

    Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez (not the actual photo)

    Honestly, so did I.

    She blames us for not making her happy around the holidays and gets upset when we spend time with my mother

    Image credits: Dương Nhân (not the actual photo)

    My husband hardly ever comes around my family because of his mom’s feelings. He is her only son. She lost her younger favorite son to gun violence. All these years I have tried so hard to be understanding, forgiving, and loving towards my MIL, but the manipulation is getting worse.

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    I tried so hard to talk with them but my husband gets so defensive about his mom and shuts down

    Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)

    It had gotten to a point of unhappiness that I wanted to end my life. My children love my MIL because I always speak good of her, even though her looks and behavior are like a witch. She even has a giant mole. I wish I hadn’t married into this family.

    Moderator’s note:

    Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.

    If you have a comparable experience or story you’d like to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.

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    Ann

    Ann

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    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Ann

    Ann

    Author, Community member

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

    Ieva Midveryte

    Ieva Midveryte

    Moderator, BoredPanda staff

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    Hello Pandas! My name is Ieva, though it's often mistaken for the word 'Leva,' and in Lithuanian, it means 'loser' (insert the pain emoji). While I don't take offense if you accidentally call me a loser, I thought I'd share something interesting with you, which I also do professionally at work.Anywayyy, my favorite part here is introducing you to creative people who deserve just as much recognition as famous celebrities. Besides that, I also enjoy memes and funny, lighthearted posts, and occasionally, I find myself drawn to a bit of internet drama.

    Read less »

    Ieva Midveryte

    Ieva Midveryte

    Moderator, BoredPanda staff

    Hello Pandas! My name is Ieva, though it's often mistaken for the word 'Leva,' and in Lithuanian, it means 'loser' (insert the pain emoji). While I don't take offense if you accidentally call me a loser, I thought I'd share something interesting with you, which I also do professionally at work.Anywayyy, my favorite part here is introducing you to creative people who deserve just as much recognition as famous celebrities. Besides that, I also enjoy memes and funny, lighthearted posts, and occasionally, I find myself drawn to a bit of internet drama.

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Anne Jones
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would divorce a man who allows his mother to drive you to thoughts of suicide. Get out now!

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or, get him to leave the situation altogether, as Harry was willing to do for Megan.

    Load More Replies...
    Papa
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before you give up on the marriage, see if your husband will go to counseling. Sometimes it takes a third party to show someone where they are wrong, or need improvement.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It could help save the marriage; if it doesn't save the marriage, it could help with reducing fights during the split.

    Load More Replies...
    H. B. Nielsen
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like an absolute nightmare and I am so sorry that OP has spent so many years dealing with this. Agree with the previous two comments completely and would just add that it's never too late to start putting yourself first. What you're dealing with is not normal. If you haven't heard of it there's something called the sunken cost fallacy. Basically it means that people fall into a trap of thinking that just because they've already invested so much time into something that it's not possible or feasible to make a change. If you aren't being supported by your partner or they are facilitating your misery that isn't love. No one deserves to feel suicidal over an in law.

    Load More Comments
    Anne Jones
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would divorce a man who allows his mother to drive you to thoughts of suicide. Get out now!

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or, get him to leave the situation altogether, as Harry was willing to do for Megan.

    Load More Replies...
    Papa
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before you give up on the marriage, see if your husband will go to counseling. Sometimes it takes a third party to show someone where they are wrong, or need improvement.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It could help save the marriage; if it doesn't save the marriage, it could help with reducing fights during the split.

    Load More Replies...
    H. B. Nielsen
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like an absolute nightmare and I am so sorry that OP has spent so many years dealing with this. Agree with the previous two comments completely and would just add that it's never too late to start putting yourself first. What you're dealing with is not normal. If you haven't heard of it there's something called the sunken cost fallacy. Basically it means that people fall into a trap of thinking that just because they've already invested so much time into something that it's not possible or feasible to make a change. If you aren't being supported by your partner or they are facilitating your misery that isn't love. No one deserves to feel suicidal over an in law.

    Load More Comments
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