Aita For Feeling This Way?

Context: My brother wasn’t oding his homework and was refusing to co-operate for 1 hour so my father yelled at him and physically tortured him. I saw the whole thing and immediately started crying for no reason. My father then ended up yelling at me and said that stupid, a psychopath and a monkey. Eventually he made me go out of the house for cycling and when I returned he asked me politely about why I was distressed a while back. I told him (in a not so calm way since I find it extremely hard to think about my emotions and to open up about them) that it happened for no reason and that I felt it wrong to physically abuse us since it never taught me anything when growing up. He said that my brother deserved it and that I was too sensitive. He also claimed that beating up your kids “isn’t abusive”. I tried recounting all the incidents in which he had hit me and he said that they were my fault. Technically it was since I was misbehaving but it still counted as abuse to me. He said that it was us kids who abused our parents instead. Around that point I was hyperventilating and crying since I feel emotions more intensely than I should. He told me I was “too sensitive” and that I had to stop breaking down so easily. I said that I didn’t know how to do it on my own and that I might need counseling to which he responded that counseling is useless and for weak and stupid people. I don’t remember how the conversation ended but now I feel as though I and my brother aren’t valued at all (I also had thoughts of running away and suicide), AITA for thinking this way?

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Errr… dude, I know you posted this a day ago so might have forgotten you wrote it, but are you ok? It’s never ok to physically hurt your kids. Look, my mother made my life hell when I was growing up, and I’ve breached my 30s and only now starting to process all the sH I te emotions that I was left with. And that’s after a serious drug addiction, working as an escort (yes the stereotype is true, most of us have “parent” issues) and throwing a wrecking ball through my life with such serious force that if I wasn’t in the UK I’d be locked up for a hell of a long time. You’re not the a sshole, never think that, ever. You’re the kid, it’s your right to mess up (our brains don’t stop growing till 25!), and it’s never ok to hurt your kids with the aim of some pseudo-traditional bull that it’s ever going to “make you behave”. Good lord. You have to talk to someone petal. Even if you don’t go the whole route and you’re too scared to go to social services, which is totally understandable, at least talk to someone who understands. And if you EVER, think you’re in danger, call emergency services. It’s not going to do you any good protecting someone who doesn’t want to protect you. Film it, keep evidence, so if it ever comes to it and you go the whole hog you’ll have everything you need to protect yourself. Hope you’re ok, a concerned mam xxx

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Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Thanks. I would love to talk to someone about this in real life but my main issue is that I find it extremely hard to trust anyone with any kind of information despite knowing them for a while. I will talk to my best friend soon though. I hope you are also able to slowly recover from your addiction and the past trauma you went through. Stay safe

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Hmmm. No, I think it's normal for teens to have surges of emotion. What worries me more is the thoughts of running away and suicide. I would HIGHLY recommend that you reach out to someone who you trust, like a teacher, and try to find help from there. There should be websites on the matter as well. I honestly think that running away would do nothing in the long run, and suicide ...... I do wanna say: you can't see from your father's perspective, can you? ask him about how he felt then. If he reacts the same way he did after the brother was annoying, oh dear. However, if he truly does care for you, he'll probably not explode, or even share with you. NTA, but I'm worried now Chimm. Stay calm. We love you, Chimm! -Nitro (also, my account was disabled from commenting. So... yeah. can still post tho! This parenthesis was completely irrelevant to the AITA, but it felt relevant in general.)

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