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Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Upset At My Friend Who Didn’t Bring A Birthday Present?
Moderator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
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I had my birthday party at a movie theater, where tickets, snacks, lunch, and drinks were all paid for
Image credits: Myke Simon (not the actual photo)
It was quite expensive and welled up to around $250 or more dollars for a party consisting of 8 people including me.
My friends arrive at the given time and when (let’s call her Sand) Sand gets here I notice she is empty-handed
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
All the other party guests had brought some sort of gift, which I am very grateful for, so I was a bit confused when she didn’t have anything. Sand is not broke or poor and I know she can afford some sort of token of appreciation.
This was on a Sunday so I thought “Oh, maybe she just forgot the gift at home and will bring it to me on Monday, no big deal”
Image credits: Ekaterina Shevchenko (not the actual photo)
She gets out of her car and comes up to the group where all of us are waiting before the movie starts and says a quick “happy birthday” to me and just stands there.
Anyway, the party was fun, and fast-forward to school on Monday. Still nothing from her. At lunch, I decided to try something. I thank a friend for a gift in front of her and I say to Sand, “Thanks for coming! I really liked your gift… wait, what did you bring again? I can’t remember for some reason… *Puts on my best thinking face*” then Sand has the nerve to look at me with a smile and say in an embarrassed tone, “Oh, I didn’t bring anything, sorry *Insert my name*.”
At this point, I just say “wowww” in a joking tone because I’m a nice person and I don’t wanna act like a spoiled brat but idk what to do. AITA?
Moderator’s note:
Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
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What do you think ?
PFD 6 months ago
Sorry Ryna but yeah. It's one thing to feel a bit disappointed/puzzled that your friend didn't think to bring a gift, but friends don't owe tribute - and the passive-aggressive fake question after is definitely what BP likes to call a [jerk] move. A transactional attitude to friendship ain't great and now you've communicated to your friend that she owed you payment for being included. I'd say you have a bit of thinking to do about that.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
Are you 12? If you're an adult, then does it really matter that your friend didn't get you a birthday gift? If you are an adult and you consider Sand a good friend, you shouldn't "need" or even expect a birthday gift. Also, what does it matter that Sand is not "broke or poor" and could "afford SOME sort of token of appreciation"? A token of appreciation of what - the royal blessing of your friendship?
Binky Melnik 6 months ago
Yeah, she might be twelve; she mentioned lunch at school. I can’t remember whether kids REQUIRED presents at every birthday when I was a kid, but I *do* remember that I was told not to EXPECT presents. I always got ‘em until I grew up, and now, of course, they’re optional, but I get the impression that yes, this kid expects a present. From everyone.
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PFD 6 months ago
Sorry Ryna but yeah. It's one thing to feel a bit disappointed/puzzled that your friend didn't think to bring a gift, but friends don't owe tribute - and the passive-aggressive fake question after is definitely what BP likes to call a [jerk] move. A transactional attitude to friendship ain't great and now you've communicated to your friend that she owed you payment for being included. I'd say you have a bit of thinking to do about that.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
Are you 12? If you're an adult, then does it really matter that your friend didn't get you a birthday gift? If you are an adult and you consider Sand a good friend, you shouldn't "need" or even expect a birthday gift. Also, what does it matter that Sand is not "broke or poor" and could "afford SOME sort of token of appreciation"? A token of appreciation of what - the royal blessing of your friendship?
Binky Melnik 6 months ago
Yeah, she might be twelve; she mentioned lunch at school. I can’t remember whether kids REQUIRED presents at every birthday when I was a kid, but I *do* remember that I was told not to EXPECT presents. I always got ‘em until I grew up, and now, of course, they’re optional, but I get the impression that yes, this kid expects a present. From everyone.
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