is this the right place to ask such a question ?

feel free to repost and rewrite if you're better at that than me or an admin or anything?

I don't know how it works

AITA?

I skipped on the stuggles of my life before this event; and ..

to sum it up realy quickly I've been submissive shy docile demure etc.. towards my father my whole life in hope he wouldn't hurt me anymore

fastforward to then ; he infortunately found out I was transexual (please don't hate me)besides I didn't even tell him like I said I was perfect(well no I was what HE wanted all my life) I hid all my life he figured out by himself and the next day he had me committed for conversion therapy ; where I was abused for months drugged against my will told I was mad insane and mentally ill being transexual was wrong and I shouldn't be transexual etc. I was stripped, strapped, had an IV plugged into me, lock in a tiny room, threatened, told I would never be let out if I didn't cooperate with their.. doing on me; and even then,; I cooperated ; because I was scared, because I've been conditioned my whole life to obey or else; because I was living what I had feared all my life and avoided like I could ; staying silent and obeying HAD worked for years ; I still feared it could be worse ; I knew I would never be let out but I still feared it would be worse (and for those people who will say I just had to fake not being transexual anymore that I just had to give up on hope to have a confortable body I don't hate but NO! that wouldn't work! nothing would! no matter what I said! I had no more impact or influence on my life! I saw others use it and use me (I was a bystander no I was the main character of a video game on a screen in front of me only I had no batteries in my padremote and I just saw myself being killed) the day the men in white and my father elected to implant a drug releasing device inside of my body I ran away ; I could ; like I said I knew my father he has threatened me since ever since the smallest kid I was he would commit me if ever I stepped out of line of HIS line or if I spoke up about the abuse he was my father HE raised me from the beginning he made me he had the power the will and the means to do it ; I knew I could always delay it ; and I did indeed ; for years ; but even then, whatever I did didn't matter (I do wish I hadn't been transexual and I had been born as either the right body, or in a loving family where I could have been me, but still I kind of feel like I brought this one upon myself after all these years of discretion and erasure : being transexual... what I meant was; knowing it would happen, I had always thought of an escape plan which is why and how I could escape. I had everything ready ; a backup country I had learnt to speak the language, clothes, travel ticket, location, I everything ready to escape him and thankfully I could remember [I'm not gonna spend the entire time here listing the harmul dangerous life lasting irreversible effects of the drugs they kept on using on me because I don't even want to think about it :( So I ran away to that country of course my father had put a wanted on me saying I was madcrazy and had to be stopped! i was not.. I never was dangerous, to anyone, I didn't want to, I had never hurt any human or animal I! had never picked on weaker than me! but he had!! and HE had made me weak!!! from birth!!!!! in the end I could only hide..again I was in an other country I still looked like the teenager I am and without a job to get money I would die or worse be sent back,. to him. I hadn't chosen this country for nothing; prostitution was legal there and you didn't need to have papers not be wanted or be adult for this one. I was so deep into pain suffering and despair I had to use this body I despised so much to et to stay away from my father and his DANGEROUS LIFELONG LASTING IRREVERSIBLE DRUGS!! I'll pass on that also to spare the reader between the scary clients who would hit me choke me insult me or just not pay me after (thankfully I couldn't get pregnant, yes on this outside I was seen as a teenage girl technically I also have the heart of a girl.. the operation I needed was just.. .. let's spare the readers again and just say to have a flat chest.. because that's what it is ........ please don't hate me... I guess I can't! say I have the heart of a maiden after that after all T T) to sum it up veeery quickly ; after months of hell after a life of a lesser hell this life in this country ; starving sleeping outside in the cold and getting mugged if I did and else, being unable to ever go to a hopital when I got beaten because FUCK I'M NEVER GOING THERE AGAIN!!! being frozen under the rain try to get inside a hotel without being accompanied by an adult not being able to keep my money and having to spend it before it got stolen me and my 37 kilos weren't much in the cold I thought several times I could have died ; this life in this country as a runaway fearing to get caught anytime WAS THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE there were times I could be alone, like, completely away from my father and not having to act, not being in constant danger, not simply pushing a little further away the inevitable (I mean.. yes I was. clearly he would catch me and get me for real but like I said I lived this life I knew nothing about, this less dangerous life, this time without him😊 I could experience this, and that. he cannot take away..right?) this country was the best country I had ever been in out of the three counties I've ever been in this country was my home ^^ I wanted it to be which is why I chose this one and learnt the language ; I was even able to help the other homeless by giving them money or food or cloths ^^ I could really be.. me😊 so....................... fastforward back to hell ] anyways AITA for thinking my father is bad and evil? he says IAA ; I wanted to see what the world was like ; it my father normal and most people do hate transexuals? or am I! normal and thinking this is evil is normal? *sorry for my bad words english isn't my native language either (and I couldn't exactly have the best childhood to learn 5 languages.. sorry...)

Sorry