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“Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights” And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone
Before going on vacation alone, I'm always a bit of an anxious extrovert. I really love trying new stuff, meeting new people and being outside in the world but I'm anxious just before that. I have to warm up to the situation.
What's something you always wanted to try but are too anxious about doing all by yourself? For me, it's going to a bar and having a cocktail. I do that with my friends but I've never been alone.
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#1
Been happily married for decades. My biggest fear is dying last and spending the last years of my life without him. Can't imagine remarrying anyone else. I don't want to spend my golden years alone and without sharing it with him.
Final score:
171points
Whitefox 2 years ago
I am pretty confident that if he goes first I won't be far behind with a broken heart.
beeker (Submission author) 2 years ago
I am so sorry that you are going thru this.
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Christine Jemison 2 years ago
15yrs since the love of my life passed, I've never gotten over it and the loneliness is too profound for word's 😢
Sarah 2 years ago
I'm going through this at the moment but the other way round. Me going first and leaving behind the love of my life. Like that's it, no more time with him. 😢
beeker (Submission author) 2 years ago
I am so sorry that you are facing this.
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Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I've been single for a long time and have anxiety that really messes with me doing 'normal' everyday things like making phone calls. Even though I'm in my 30s, I rely on my mum a lot. If she were to die before me (which is obviously likely) I am terrified of how I would cope with life.
beeker (Submission author) 2 years ago
I am no expert but if possible, I would start having you mum start looking into help for you for now and/or services available for you if you are alone. I am so sorry that you are going thru this. I wish you health and happiness.
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Garry Cowan 1 year ago
I genuinely couldn't imagine my life without my wife she's the sole reason I'm still alive and been clean and sober for the last decade without her life will have no meaning
The Blinking Duck 1 year ago
Same. My husband was recently (at 50) diagnosed with MS and it’s moving fast
Steve Robert 1 year ago
I lost my soulmate twenty years ago and stopped looking for love, since no one could love me as much as her. But thinking about her makes it easier to be alone, since I always feel her presence.
Bookmaiden 1 year ago
When my grandmother died, my grandfather wouldn't even attend her funeral. He was absolutely broken-hearted. He died a few weeks later. I'm convinced it was absolutely from a broken heart.
featherytoad 1 year ago
Me and my husband used to say, "I wanna go first." Then I thought, "Man, how selfish are we?" lol. He beat me to it. Bastard.
RavenTheCat 1 year ago
I feels the same about my boyfriend. We always tell each other though that even if something happens we will always be together
Mark Melton 1 year ago
My situation exactly. She will do fine without me, but I won't fare so well without her. No one else would put up with me.
Lemur Queen 1 year ago
That is so sweet. To anyone going through that right now I hope you can feel better. It must be really hard.
Miss Frankfurter 1 year ago
My mom felt the same way about my dad. If I had moved back to Dallas I believe she would have died very shortly after. But on New Years Eve, when he was dying and we were just waiting to hear, we did toast with champagne and she said”Here’s to our time together now”. I’m so glad she had a purpose. I’m glad that purpose was me.
Splašená sardel 1 year ago
Solved this problem. My love is younger by sufficient number of years to give me good statistical probability to kick the bucket first... also he's in much better physical and mental shape than me so I think I'm good
#2
I was afraid for 27 years of living by myself, supporting myself and facing who I'd become as a result of capitulating to my narcissistic husband for so long. Then he forced a divorce on me and after almost four years on my own, I've realized how stupid I was for being afraid. I'm finally free.
Final score:
155points
#3
going downstairs after turning off the lights! this is kind of a joke but it’s not 🥲
Final score:
125points
#4
Solo female world traveler here, absolutely adore going to a pub in England, will never go to an American bar. I'm American. Roofies, being sexually harassed/assaulted, being around volatile, unpredictable drunk people, NO.
Final score:
109points
Amanda Haines 2 years ago
I'm with you sister! I'm a single American female and wouldn't walk into a bar unless I had a body guard!
#6
As a bigger woman it's 100% eating out alone. Doesn't matter if its something unhealthy or just a salad I always feel like everyone around me judges me. That's why I always order food in and eat at home when I don't want to cook.
Final score:
96points
Buren 2 years ago
Please don’t. I used to be afraid of eating alone because of the eating alone stigma around here, especially because I am not local and didn’t speak well. However, my lunch group was borderline unbearable that I started to go out by myself, clutching on the newspaper (this was 20 years ago) and ate at lightning speed. Now, eating alone is a bliss. And since I am staying far away from my loved ones, watching movie alone is my favorite leisure as well. I think there is a study that we feel watched and judged, but statistic actually show that is not the case. So, go out there and enjoy your time.
#8
Probably going outside in the night by myself. Like I step one step and I think Slenderman, some kidnapper, or a wild animal is gonna get me
Final score:
81points
#9
Travel - I'd love to explore new cities and places all by myself, but as a young woman it just seems too dangerous.
Final score:
77points
#10
I would love to go to New York City (never been there) but definitely not by myself. I would be completely overwhelmed by a city that large and crowded.
Final score:
71points
#11
Leaving the house. I'm disabled, and cannot take more than a few steps before I need to rest.
Final score:
66points
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
I put skull decorations on my cane. It made my point for me. If I need to stop a moment, then go ahead. Say something to the lady with the cane covered in laughing evil skulls...
#12
Going to the toilet in the middle of the night... what if the bogeyman comes and raids your secret candy stash when you're in the bathroom?
Final score:
57points
#13
Parallel parking in a tight spot with the work van.
Final score:
55points
#14
Well... I am petrified of being the centre of attention (like making a speech or preforming) but it kinda helps if my friend is there, not a lot but a bit.
Final score:
54points
#15
Entering a room full of people (even if I know some of them). Approaching a group of acquaintances alone is scary too.
Final score:
51points
#16
How about watching a horror movie, and then lying in bed waiting for the zombies to come?
Final score:
49points
#17
It worries me to drive on my own at night.
Final score:
49points
#18
Going to a place with big crowds without a group I’m specifically going with. Take a recent school dance. Even when I went with a group, they left for 20 minutes to chat with other friends and I couldn’t find them anywhere. I have pretty bad anxiety in social situations and when it flares up I unconsciously scratch my arm. By the time I found other friends, my arm was raw :( luckily my friends I went with found me again after a little while, but man I don’t like being by myself in big crowds.
Final score:
48points
Veru Jaros 2 years ago
I used to scratch my arm under pressure or in stress. Once, I scratched it to bone. Now I have this ravine-like scar. It's like my skin had been removed permanently. Most ppl are scared of it
#19
I’m afraid of showering without someone in the house. I have some issues tbh
Final score:
45points
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I don't blame you. It's always comforting knowing any sounds I may hear will likely be someone else. But if I'm alone I get a strong feeling I'm not alone and I hear noises that I feel like I shouldn't be hearing, including voices.
#20
Something I'm afraid of doing alone... I'm scared of existing alone. If you understand, you understand, if you don't, you don't.
Final score:
44points
Lucky2BAlive 1 year ago
Oddly, merely writing that and seeing the answers should make you feel less alone.
#21
Parenting. I've always wanted to have kids but I've witnessed loads of great relationships completely fall apart after kids. I've seen so many men who start out excited to be dads just walk away when things get tough and either barely put in any effort to see their kids or never bother with them at all. My 4 sisters have all struggled as single parents with nonexistent dads and it affects every aspect of their lives as well as their kids' lives.
One of my sisters had 2 kids 11 months apart and her ex left her when she was pregnant with the second, they're 3 and 4 now and my sister is a mess. Mentally she can't cope, she's permanently exhausted and overwhelmed and her kids are extremely anxious and run circles around her.
I've been with my partner for 12yrs and known him for 19yrs but as much as we both desperately want children and I think he'd be a great dad, the fear of him changing or walking away when things get tough, leaving me to do it all alone, terrifies me. We've been trying to get pregnant for years with no luck and the idea that it might never happen breaks my heart, but I'd rather never have kids than have them and end up struggling to do it alone.
Final score:
44points
#22
Putting together IKEA furniture
Final score:
41points
Martina Ericsson 1 year ago
I rather do it alone when no one is home. Being a woman seem to make especially men think they need to come and take over without my consent.
#23
Talking to older kids/people who aren’t someone that I know. The only exception is asking to pet other people's dogs.
Final score:
38points
(She/her)Introverted Potato 🥔 (Submission author) 2 years ago
This one is weird but hey, I’m 11
#24
This was actually hard for me to answer because I really like doing most everything alone. I've lived a very adventurous life and been extremely independent, I even intentionally became a single parent which has been awesome. But I think something I might be intimidated to do on my own is travel to countries where I don't speak the language.
I'll still do it alone, for sure, that's my plan actually, but yeah, it's something I'm a little afraid of. Fears are meant to be either faced or respected and we each decide which it is every time.
Usually, if I'm afraid to do something alone, I take some time to plan and prep, then I go for it. It's worked out well for me so far.
Final score:
32points
#25
Having a seizure
Final score:
32points
BeepBeepBoopBoop 2 years ago (edited)
okay I have a seizure disorder and I'm scared of that too. I'm not conscious when I have them so I could seriously hurt myself. Oh and here's a tip if you witness someone having a seizure with no one around, turn them on their side, and talk to them letting them know you're helping them. Turning them on their side can stop them from choking to death if they throw up, and talking to them may help if they are conscious.
#26
More dread and social phobia which is fear-adjacent, but taking an Uber or Lyft alone and the awkwardness of feeling like I am a princess for sitting in back seat while I am driven around. But the real phobia here kicks in if so am going solo and the driver opens the front passenger door or motions for me to sit in the front seat. So damned either way.
Final score:
32points
Stephanie Goadsby 2 years ago
Taxi licenses, in Canada anyways, are required to be on display. Always match the drivers face to the ID before you get in and close the door. As an extra precaution, after you call to arrange a taxi ride, call back and ask the dispatcher who picked up the job and correlate the name with the ID. Keep your GPS on on your cellphone, 911 ready to dial, and always inform family or a close friend of your location, time, and destination beforehand.
#28
Driving long distances. Drove 1,500 miles round trip once and almost fell asleep. I had to take BIL home after FIL funeral and had to work the day we left and only had one day off between shifts. I couldn't stop to rest because of work so yeah 24 hours and almost fell asleep and wrecked five miles from home. Falling asleep was prevented by getting a phone call and managed to pull out of the small ditch with no damage to the vehicle.
Final score:
30points
#29
Bench pressing. I've seen enough fail videos to know that it can be painful (maybe end with a hospital visit) if you don't have a spotter.
Final score:
24points
#30
Being alone in an apartment at night. I have no such problem during the day but at night I'm always afraid that I'll get ill or have an accident and there will be no one to help me. Even though I'm perfectly healthy and not really accident-prone.
(Paradoxically, I've no problem with being alone on the street at night despite being a rather petite woman.)
What do you think ?
Carol McKasson Richards 2 years ago
I am not sure I fear it, but I do know I would not want to die alone.
Kara Born 2 years ago
I'd like at least to have my SO (if I have one) there with me. If not, the people I love and care about the most that are still alive.
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Aisling Raye 1 year ago
I was going to say something similar. I prefer to do pretty much everything alone.
Load More Replies... Claudia Schmid 1 year ago
wow, some people really have issues doing stuff alone. I'm rather the opposite, I love doing stuff by myself. I rather struggle if I don't get enough me-time.
ObsidianAce_ 1 year ago
Talking to anyone alone. There are very few people I feel comfortable in 1-on-1s with.
Mike Taylor 2 years ago (edited)
Being alone with my sons they're just like me, and it's scary as hell
RavenTheCat 1 year ago
My fear is the future. I would elaborate. But I'll say this, it's 2023 and I live in America
SkinnyMini 1 year ago
When I get out of bed, flying leap to get back on cause duh monsters go there if I’m alone 😂
Michelle Cherry 2 years ago
Traveling. It sounds really dumb even to me. I could go all over Europe, see so many amazing things, and do stuff; but I stay home because most transportation scares me, as well as the idea of becoming lost.
Carol McKasson Richards 2 years ago
I am not sure I fear it, but I do know I would not want to die alone.
Kara Born 2 years ago
I'd like at least to have my SO (if I have one) there with me. If not, the people I love and care about the most that are still alive.
Load More Replies... Aisling Raye 1 year ago
I was going to say something similar. I prefer to do pretty much everything alone.
Load More Replies... Claudia Schmid 1 year ago
wow, some people really have issues doing stuff alone. I'm rather the opposite, I love doing stuff by myself. I rather struggle if I don't get enough me-time.
ObsidianAce_ 1 year ago
Talking to anyone alone. There are very few people I feel comfortable in 1-on-1s with.
Mike Taylor 2 years ago (edited)
Being alone with my sons they're just like me, and it's scary as hell
RavenTheCat 1 year ago
My fear is the future. I would elaborate. But I'll say this, it's 2023 and I live in America
SkinnyMini 1 year ago
When I get out of bed, flying leap to get back on cause duh monsters go there if I’m alone 😂
Michelle Cherry 2 years ago
Traveling. It sounds really dumb even to me. I could go all over Europe, see so many amazing things, and do stuff; but I stay home because most transportation scares me, as well as the idea of becoming lost.
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