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Before going on vacation alone, I'm always a bit of an anxious extrovert. I really love trying new stuff, meeting new people and being outside in the world but I'm anxious just before that. I have to warm up to the situation.

What's something you always wanted to try but are too anxious about doing all by yourself? For me, it's going to a bar and having a cocktail. I do that with my friends but I've never been alone.

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#1

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Been happily married for decades. My biggest fear is dying last and spending the last years of my life without him. Can't imagine remarrying anyone else. I don't want to spend my golden years alone and without sharing it with him.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am pretty confident that if he goes first I won't be far behind with a broken heart.

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#2

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone I was afraid for 27 years of living by myself, supporting myself and facing who I'd become as a result of capitulating to my narcissistic husband for so long. Then he forced a divorce on me and after almost four years on my own, I've realized how stupid I was for being afraid. I'm finally free.

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#3

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone going downstairs after turning off the lights! this is kind of a joke but it’s not 🥲

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Natural fear of not being able see what wants to kill you

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#4

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Solo female world traveler here, absolutely adore going to a pub in England, will never go to an American bar. I'm American. Roofies, being sexually harassed/assaulted, being around volatile, unpredictable drunk people, NO.

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Amanda Haines
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with you sister! I'm a single American female and wouldn't walk into a bar unless I had a body guard!

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"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Confronting that goose

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#6

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone As a bigger woman it's 100% eating out alone. Doesn't matter if its something unhealthy or just a salad I always feel like everyone around me judges me. That's why I always order food in and eat at home when I don't want to cook.

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Buren
Buren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don’t. I used to be afraid of eating alone because of the eating alone stigma around here, especially because I am not local and didn’t speak well. However, my lunch group was borderline unbearable that I started to go out by myself, clutching on the newspaper (this was 20 years ago) and ate at lightning speed. Now, eating alone is a bliss. And since I am staying far away from my loved ones, watching movie alone is my favorite leisure as well. I think there is a study that we feel watched and judged, but statistic actually show that is not the case. So, go out there and enjoy your time.

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#7

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Swimming in the ocean.

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#8

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Probably going outside in the night by myself. Like I step one step and I think Slenderman, some kidnapper, or a wild animal is gonna get me

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#9

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Travel - I'd love to explore new cities and places all by myself, but as a young woman it just seems too dangerous.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an older woman, a very shy introvert, and feel the same way.

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#10

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone I would love to go to New York City (never been there) but definitely not by myself. I would be completely overwhelmed by a city that large and crowded.

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#11

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Leaving the house. I'm disabled, and cannot take more than a few steps before I need to rest.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I put skull decorations on my cane. It made my point for me. If I need to stop a moment, then go ahead. Say something to the lady with the cane covered in laughing evil skulls...

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#12

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Going to the toilet in the middle of the night... what if the bogeyman comes and raids your secret candy stash when you're in the bathroom?

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#13

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Parallel parking in a tight spot with the work van.

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#14

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Well... I am petrified of being the centre of attention (like making a speech or preforming) but it kinda helps if my friend is there, not a lot but a bit.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jerry Seinfeld once said something about more people are scared of public speaking then dying. Therefore people would rather be dead in the coffin then at the podium giving a eulogy. I think it's pretty common!

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#15

Entering a room full of people (even if I know some of them). Approaching a group of acquaintances alone is scary too.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh...or LEAVING a crowded room....*Now they can talk about me.....*

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#16

How about watching a horror movie, and then lying in bed waiting for the zombies to come?

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#17

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone It worries me to drive on my own at night.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel you. It's not the driving itself, or the night, but the idea that the car might break down, leaving you stranded god knows where.

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#18

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Going to a place with big crowds without a group I’m specifically going with. Take a recent school dance. Even when I went with a group, they left for 20 minutes to chat with other friends and I couldn’t find them anywhere. I have pretty bad anxiety in social situations and when it flares up I unconsciously scratch my arm. By the time I found other friends, my arm was raw :( luckily my friends I went with found me again after a little while, but man I don’t like being by myself in big crowds.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to scratch my arm under pressure or in stress. Once, I scratched it to bone. Now I have this ravine-like scar. It's like my skin had been removed permanently. Most ppl are scared of it

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#19

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone I’m afraid of showering without someone in the house. I have some issues tbh

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't blame you. It's always comforting knowing any sounds I may hear will likely be someone else. But if I'm alone I get a strong feeling I'm not alone and I hear noises that I feel like I shouldn't be hearing, including voices.

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#20

Something I'm afraid of doing alone... I'm scared of existing alone. If you understand, you understand, if you don't, you don't.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oddly, merely writing that and seeing the answers should make you feel less alone.

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#21

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Parenting. I've always wanted to have kids but I've witnessed loads of great relationships completely fall apart after kids. I've seen so many men who start out excited to be dads just walk away when things get tough and either barely put in any effort to see their kids or never bother with them at all. My 4 sisters have all struggled as single parents with nonexistent dads and it affects every aspect of their lives as well as their kids' lives.

One of my sisters had 2 kids 11 months apart and her ex left her when she was pregnant with the second, they're 3 and 4 now and my sister is a mess. Mentally she can't cope, she's permanently exhausted and overwhelmed and her kids are extremely anxious and run circles around her.

I've been with my partner for 12yrs and known him for 19yrs but as much as we both desperately want children and I think he'd be a great dad, the fear of him changing or walking away when things get tough, leaving me to do it all alone, terrifies me. We've been trying to get pregnant for years with no luck and the idea that it might never happen breaks my heart, but I'd rather never have kids than have them and end up struggling to do it alone.

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Sky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes you just have to take a risk. Even if this is one of the most important ones. You really sound like you would make an amazing parent.

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#22

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Putting together IKEA furniture

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I rather do it alone when no one is home. Being a woman seem to make especially men think they need to come and take over without my consent.

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#23

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone Talking to older kids/people who aren’t someone that I know. The only exception is asking to pet other people's dogs.

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#24

This was actually hard for me to answer because I really like doing most everything alone. I've lived a very adventurous life and been extremely independent, I even intentionally became a single parent which has been awesome. But I think something I might be intimidated to do on my own is travel to countries where I don't speak the language.

I'll still do it alone, for sure, that's my plan actually, but yeah, it's something I'm a little afraid of. Fears are meant to be either faced or respected and we each decide which it is every time.
Usually, if I'm afraid to do something alone, I take some time to plan and prep, then I go for it. It's worked out well for me so far.

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#25

Having a seizure

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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

okay I have a seizure disorder and I'm scared of that too. I'm not conscious when I have them so I could seriously hurt myself. Oh and here's a tip if you witness someone having a seizure with no one around, turn them on their side, and talk to them letting them know you're helping them. Turning them on their side can stop them from choking to death if they throw up, and talking to them may help if they are conscious.

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#26

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone More dread and social phobia which is fear-adjacent, but taking an Uber or Lyft alone and the awkwardness of feeling like I am a princess for sitting in back seat while I am driven around. But the real phobia here kicks in if so am going solo and the driver opens the front passenger door or motions for me to sit in the front seat. So damned either way.

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Stephanie Goadsby
Stephanie Goadsby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taxi licenses, in Canada anyways, are required to be on display. Always match the drivers face to the ID before you get in and close the door. As an extra precaution, after you call to arrange a taxi ride, call back and ask the dispatcher who picked up the job and correlate the name with the ID. Keep your GPS on on your cellphone, 911 ready to dial, and always inform family or a close friend of your location, time, and destination beforehand.

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#27

"Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights" And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone pouring eyedrops or saline.

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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh I learned a good trick! Tilt your head back, Close your eye, and squeeze the bottle so the drop lands on your eyelashes or in the inner corner of your eye, then you just open your eyes and blink...ta daaaaaaaaa!

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#28

Driving long distances. Drove 1,500 miles round trip once and almost fell asleep. I had to take BIL home after FIL funeral and had to work the day we left and only had one day off between shifts. I couldn't stop to rest because of work so yeah 24 hours and almost fell asleep and wrecked five miles from home. Falling asleep was prevented by getting a phone call and managed to pull out of the small ditch with no damage to the vehicle.

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#29

Bench pressing. I've seen enough fail videos to know that it can be painful (maybe end with a hospital visit) if you don't have a spotter.

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Max M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only if you pretend to be stronger than you are. I have made the roll of shame a few times. You will feel it, but you will live

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#30

Being alone in an apartment at night. I have no such problem during the day but at night I'm always afraid that I'll get ill or have an accident and there will be no one to help me. Even though I'm perfectly healthy and not really accident-prone.
(Paradoxically, I've no problem with being alone on the street at night despite being a rather petite woman.)

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No wait! Think of it THIS way........ If you have an accident at night, in a crowded apartment building, I like to think there is more chance SOMEONE will be awake to hear you yelling, because there is more people around you. But then I used to worry that some idiot might be smoking in bed or fall asleep with the deep fryer on two floors down. So I guess it's a real rock or a hard place kinda thing.

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#31

Walking home from work. I live close to where I work, and sometimes my mom likes to tell me to walk home. On Sundays, it's fine- we close early, so it's light out. I call my cousin/friend, I walk home. On any other day of the week? It's nearly nine PM and dark out. I don't feel safe, as a teen, big-chested AFAB person, walking home alone, in the dark, along a busy road. I'm terrified of someone taking me. My mom mocks me, says it's safe and no bad people live near us (Tell that to the 19-year-old girl murdered in her car blocks from us last year). Her cousin says I'm big enough to fight back, but I don't want to HAVE to fight back, I'd rather just not be put in that situation. I know I'd freeze up, I know I'd be too scared.

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Stephanie Goadsby
Stephanie Goadsby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mother doesn't deserve the title if that's her reaction to your very real and legitimate feelings. Shame on her. Never doubt your instincts, trust them. There's no undoing tragedy. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure as they say.

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#32

Going to a metal concert by myself. Any other concert is fine, but some guys look really creepy

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From what I've heard, metal heads are considered one of the friendliest crowds. 🤔

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#33

Walking outside alone. I feel very vulnerable and I'm always paranoid I'll get kidnapped or raped.

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#34

Cycling on the road

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StrangeOne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh f**k that. There's been too many accidents with cyclists, buses and cars. It's not legal, technically, to ride on the sidewalk. But if you're not a confident bike rider and can't go fast as car I don't see how riding on the sidewalk is illegal. And what if you wipe out on the road? You would get run over and cars would get into wrecks trying to avoid your carcass. Plus, I've seen how close buses approach cyclists. They practically touch the bike tires with the front bumper. With all the hit and runs lately, too, no way would I be on the road with a bike. Maybe in a residential area, okay. But not on a busy highway.

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#35

Dying, not having lived to the fullest. I always thought I'd have time, that things would all eventually work out for a happy, or at least contented ending. But now, I'll be 60 in a few yrs. I've never been married, had few relationships, was a single mom and had to work hard to support me, my mom, and daughter. Well, my mom just passed, I also lost my senior Yorkie who was my ESA animal, and my daughter just moved out with her fiancée. I'm not at all afraid of being alone. But having to die never being in true love, with regrets, not having done anything I really wanted to do, is awful. I see that coming. In 13 years I'll be 70. It will be all over then. I'm already disabled with chronic pain, and I walk like an 80 yr old, a lot of times having to use a cane. I just can believe that somewhere between 54 and 57, I woke up to this realization. I have absolutely wasted my life. I'm now one of the "invisible" women. Women 50 or older who have nothing meaningful to contribute to society, and who don't have family close by, or close family.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so sad....but if it means anything....I work in a nursing home, and 70 isn't old by a long shot!!. 103 is old. But I Am sorry you have chronic pain, I'm sure that can make you feel years and years and years older then you are.

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#36

walking into a dark room at night. i am always afraid that a killer clown, serial killer, monster, ghost, etc. is going to come out and kill me. also going to an attic/basement by myself for the same reasons

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me too omg, I always bring my dog with me because I’m too scared to go down alone

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#37

Pretty much anything outside of the house, as I'm a small woman.

Going somewhere new, even in my own town.
Speaking a foreign language.
Trying a new food or recipe.
Eating out.
Taking public transport when it's dark.
Talking to strangers or authority figures.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you... Can't be, pretty sure my wife would tell me if she made an account on BP....

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#38

Go to a park. I quickly realized my entire life I went with my family, friends or even my dog to parks. The only times I went alone was when I was sad or lost. This might be a personal preference though

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#39

Growing old without my wife. She taught me how to love myself and others, again . She's teaching me patience, which is a job in itself. I cannot imagine a tomorrow without her.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents have been married for 57 years. I am so worried about them. Praying for you

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#40

going outside, because i remember going outside, and i was just going to visit my friends, and these guys come up to me and tell me to follow them because they have a surprise, but me, being a smart little 9 yo girl, goes back home, and get afraid of going outside.

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Sky
Sky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s absolutely terrifying as a nine year old.

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#41

Swimming in any body of water alone. If I don't see anyone around it makes me feel like I shouldn't be in there. Even if it's a swimming pool. I'm also afraid there are ghosts in swimming pools that will grab my feet and pull me down, or reveal their horrid faces in the water.

Going to new bars/lounges alone for karaoke. I'll go to a restaurant alone to dine. But not go sit somewhere to drink if it's place I've never been before and get up and sing to a crowd I'm unfamiliar with. It takes a few times for me to get a feel for the place. I'd just rather go with someone for support and make it less awkward when I mess up a song.

Going to parties alone. I'll make a beeline for the food, which gives me something to do to distract myself from having to socialize with strangers.

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Heather Talma
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, everyone knows ghosts can't touch water, let alone live in it.

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#42

Going to UK. Since I was a kid, it was my biggest dream. I'm going to go there in 2023 but according to criminal records, I probably will never go anywhere alone.

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Veru Jaros
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#43

picking olives after sunset. strange sounds are coming from the forest edge and everywhere.

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Yağız
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#44

Going in a haunted house. I cannot deal with scary things and unless someone is there to convince me, I will not, shall not, and cannot enter one.

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Good Luckas
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ItsJess
ItsJess
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love horror movies but I can't go into these places because when I'm really scared, I start hitting

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#45

Standing on a ladder. If I fall and hit my head who will call 911?

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AviLee
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#46

Playing video games alone .
(I play with my older cousin mostly because he is nice and funny )

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The shoebill
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Wintermute
Wintermute
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exact opposite here. I refuse to buy multiplayer unless there's a damn good reason. Funny how people differ that way.

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#47

Practically? Starting my business. I'm in the process of starting a small home-based business and it's overwhelming and I wish I wasn't doing it alone because I'm petrified of not doing the legal stuff and paperwork correctly. Doing lots of research and reading.

Irrationally? I'm afraid of driving certain places by myself. And not because I'm afraid of being in a bad area or breaking down... my fear is accidentally losing control of the car and going over a cliff or bridge. Every bad dream I have is about feeling myself going over and my thoughts on the way down. I can literally feel the car pulling and my immediate panic as I go over the edge. It's always from super high up, too, like a rollercoaster. Whenever I'm driving on a bridge or high up I get a little bit of vertigo and I wish I wasn't driving. It only happens when I'm driving, not as a passenger.

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Kate Jones
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#48

Telling people my name and pronouns (I don't present anywhere near as masc as I'd like) because I'm scared of harassment, talking with authority figures, making plans/travelling. It's just so much better to have someone else with me to back me up

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Rowan [He/They]
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Sky
Sky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m always a little afraid to tell people my pronouns, but your are valid, and you will find your family.

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#49

Walking in the woods at night. My house is next to a heavily wooded area, and I know there are things in there - bobcats, coyotes, alligators (also near a river on the gulf coast), wild hogs, and sometimes scary-looking people.

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Linda R
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#50

Going to a new city to a new school without my friends who have been with me since childhood. I hate it . Where am I posting this from? Sitting on the steps near the main office while everyone around me is enjoying the weather with their friends

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Aryaan Kasi
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MaryHadaLittleLamb
MaryHadaLittleLamb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aw, that is hard, I know. Give it time, you will make new friends. ❤️

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#51

talking to strangers!! i always feel more confident with a friend by my side!

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riviere
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Lucky2BAlive
Lucky2BAlive
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But here, on some level you are talking to strangers. We are all pandas but if you take the chance, and try, maybe that stranger turns into a friend, or experiencing the same feelings you experience.

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#52

A lot of stuff that I either don't know about yet or that I don't feel comfortable telling people.

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that one ace lesbian genderfae
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#53

watching youtube

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Em the avocado!
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tara
tara
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watch Mr. Ballen. He will scare you, but in a calm and reassuring way. Or the Kitten Lady, cause she is awesome. Or save-a-fox-rescue!

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#54

Eating food in case I choke

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Hank Jimison
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Xenon
Xenon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learn the self Heimlich technique, it may help alleviate your fear a bit.

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#55

Getting sick.
April 2022, I got sick at college. My parents live on the other side of the state. It may seem silly, but that whole experience of being sick by myself was kind of scary. Especially since what the cold I had made it hard to move.

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Matt Ronald Slater
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Catnatno
Catnatno
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sorry that happened. Hoping it made you stronger and know that you did it and you are okay!

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#56

its very hard to go in to a busy store so i go first thing when they open

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Neb Skram
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Huddo's sister
Huddo's sister
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do this too! But when I went to the chemist first thing recently, it turned out this was their busy time!

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#57

Shopping.

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
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#58

Having to talk to someone and buy something at an actual register, like at clothing stores. I hate doing that so much. I'm not sure why, but it just scares me and I will always think self checkout and food apps are a God send

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Jo
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