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Life is full of disappointments, both large and small. That doesn’t mean that life itself is all misery—quite the opposite. But it’s important to recognize that pain, failure, and dashed expectations are unavoidable parts of being a human being. Learning how to deal with them becomes a necessity.

Reddit user u/Just_Surround_2108 recently went viral after urging the r/AskReddit community to share the biggest things they were disappointed by when they grew up. Similar to how a child might feel when they learn that Santa Claus is not real. You’ll find their honest opinions, touching on everything from work to relationships and beyond, as you scroll down.

Oh, and just for the record—we fully believe that Santa is real. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably working for the Grinch.

#1

50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it.

DorianOrosco , energepic.com Report

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    #2

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Finding out that in the US it’s not really democrat vs republican, it’s the rich elites versus the rest of us.

    ReliefJaded8491 , Sawyer Sutton Report

    #3

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real If you're intelligent, you have to be quiet because of people who are stupid.

    pepperheidi , Sincerely Media Report

    The expectations that we have for life can massively affect us. For instance, someone who’s naive and happy-go-lucky might think that everything will fall into place and things will just work out somehow. When they fail at something or realize that the world doesn’t work the way they imagined it should, they might have their entire perspective shattered. They’ll have trouble coming to terms with this new reality and might feel frustrated at themselves for having been so wrong.

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    On the flip side, someone who’s overly pessimistic or cynical might lose out on genuinely good opportunities because they don’t think much of anything is worth the effort. For them, a lack of justice and fairness is the status quo. But this makes them blind to the positive aspects of life, as well as the ability to fight for change that matters, whether at work or in society as a whole.

    #4

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Sometimes there is no justice.

    Fazi9090 , Sora Shimazaki Report

    #5

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real That some friends were never really your friend.

    Kangaroowrangler_02 , Kimson Doan Report

    #6

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean.

    i_spock , Darya Sannikova Report

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    So, managing your expectations becomes key to managing your disappointments. You don’t want to hype yourself up, nor do you want to dismiss any positivity either. Through experience, we gain wisdom and slowly start to get a better grasp of how everything works. The main point here is that we accept this reality, instead of wishing that things were a drastically different way. 

    It’s one thing to strive for positive change on a local or even global level. It’s another thing entirely to wish for things to be different without taking any action. In the former case, you’re doing what you can to improve your situation and that of others. It might be hard. You might have to adapt your approach and deal with unexpected roadblocks, but you are putting in the effort to create something better.

    In the latter case, however, you might feel frustrated and disempowered because there is such a huge gap between reality and your idealized vision of what the world should be like. ‘Perfect’ social justice or completely fair workplaces might not be possible… but things can be better and fairer. The key here is to change what you can, even if the end result won’t be as good as you’d like it to be.

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    #7

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Finding out the truth about Mother Teresa

    nynnat , JohnMathewSmith Report

    #8

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real HR is NOT on your side.

    gregsmith0814 , Alex Green Report

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    #9

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real The money doesn't trickle down. It never did

    mein-shekel , Karolina Grabowska Report

    ‘Psych Central’ suggests that people learn to let go of the negative emotions they feel after their expectations aren’t met. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you should ignore your emotions. Instead, it means you should acknowledge your feelings and let go as you work to overcome what happened.”

    It also helps to shift your perspective and look at the bigger picture. You might have been thoroughly disappointed by something that’s happened to you, but there are plenty of other things to be grateful for. Things might be tough at work, but you might still be able to afford a roof over your head, be incredibly healthy, or have a very strong and supportive social circle. Bearing the worst that life throws at you becomes bearable when you take the time to appreciate all the good things that have happened to you.

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    #10

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Finding out that someone you have looked up to and admired your entire life is actually a horrible person.

    Papooof4 , Dev Asangbam Report

    #11

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real You never actually feel like the adult

    Personal-Listen-4941 , Nonsap Visuals Report

    #12

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Bullies don't always get their comeuppance. In fact, sometimes they achieve great things. Even the presidency.

    Floopydoopypoopy , Keira Burton Report

    #13

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Finding out that "reaching retirement" is about hitting a financial number and not reaching an age.

    LeeroyTC , hermaion Report

    #14

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Learning that two people can love each other more than anything in this world and still not be a good fit for a long term relationship.

    True and pure Love isn’t always enough

    anon , Nathan Dumlao Report

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    #15

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids.

    throwmeawaypoopy , Ello Report

    #16

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers.

    Smile_Terrible , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    #17

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Realizing organized religion is a bunch of nonsense

    jakoto0 , Guillaume Bleyer Report

    #18

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real One dumb mistake and it could all be over.

    Raan6969 , Jaromír Kavan Report

    #19

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real The average salary does not go up equivalent to the inflation rate.

    Mattemattics117 Report

    #20

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real That the world doesn't stop when someone you love and need dies.

    thiccdaddyroadhog , Brett Sayles Report

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    #21

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Finding out people without empathy exist. And they are hard to pin down - even after many years of exposure to them.

    Sweet_Chance_5592 , Paweł L. Report

    #22

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real When I was a kid I thought adults had everything figured out and couldn’t wait to grow up so I could be like them. HAH.

    Yoga_and_Cats , Simon Abrams Report

    #23

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Recycling is, for the most part, a scam by corporations to move the physical and emotional weight of dealing with the harm their packaging causes off them and on to you.

    FidgitForgotHisL-P , Lisa Fotios Report

    #24

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Working full time and being too drained to chase your actual dream

    Blind_Wolf , Ephraim Mayrena Report

    #25

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Churches are businesses that collect tax free money and provide very few actual services with it.

    costabius , David Besh Report

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    #26

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Discovering that you can pay 1700.00/mth rent, but can’t get a 1500/month mortgage

    bigyack , Ketut Subiyanto Report

    #27

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real The b******t of health insurance

    untouchable_0 , Gustavo Fring Report

    #28

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real $500 isn't a lot of money

    ThingFromEarth , Jp Valery Report

    #29

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and s**t is confusing as f**k.

    Borsti17 , Selcuk Sarikoz Report

    #30

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young.

    tamammothchuk , Christian Bowen Report

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    #31

    As a millenial, I was raised to believe that going to college and getting a degree would guarantee me a good future job that would allow me to live comfortably 🥲

    gofigure85 Report

    #32

    That working harder does not equal getting paid more or being promoted.

    Individual-Fail4709 Report

    #33

    Realizing you'll probably never have the, "aha," moment that tells you what you want to do with your life and you'd better just pick the least depressing choice.

    Maan9034 Report

    #34

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real For me it was realizing the high school mindset in people never ends see it in 60 yr olds in Facebook now

    Fluid_Program_5369 , David Sinclair Report

    #35

    That your boss probably didn't get where they are because they did your job well.

    RecluseGamer Report

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    #36

    Finding out police don't have to help

    Lokarin Report

    #37

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real That going to college and getting a 9-5 wasn’t going to be the fun, creative, latte-filled experience rom coms would have you believe.

    Ok_Arm2201 , Alex Kotliarskyi Report

    #38

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Finally owning a house, then realising you now have to go through the effort and expense of maintaining it.

    It's great you've got a house for 100k, now enjoy saving and spending at least half that to stop it crumbling, leaking or falling down over the next decades.

    judochop1 , https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-house-2194399/ Report

    #39

    Working hard will get you advancement in the company.

    In reality, being a hard worker keeps you exactly where you are. Management will keep you churning out the good work you do without ever paying you any more than they do, and it make them look good.

    OnionTamer Report

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    #40

    A bachelor’s degree is not a coupon redeemable for one (1) full-time job in your field of choice after graduation.

    QuentinTarantulatino Report

    #41

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real When you finish eating your dinner and there is no magical person to wash the dishes and you have to wash them yourself.

    Party_Chemistry_8961 , cottonbro studio Report

    #42

    Finding out your partner doesn't love you anymore, but just has high anxiety about leaving you.

    Shahid36367 Report

    #43

    Spending time trying to understand why something happened often doesn't lead to answers, and can only prolong your healing process. Sometimes "closure" is moving forward and not ruminating or trying to figure out why.

    TwoScoopIceQueen Report

    #44

    That there are no *adults*. Everyone's just doing their best

    Busterthefatman Report

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    #45

    There is no justice, no peace, and there never was

    Ridoncoulous Report

    #46

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Christmas Bonuses almost NEVER exist. Worse fantasy than the clause...

    MysteriousMrSquatch , Irina Iriser Report

    #47

    Having to pay tax instead of getting a tax return.

    First time this happened to me as a teenager shattered my heart. I had so many plans!

    Al_Fatman Report

    #48

    realizing that by the time you're old enough to retire, social security probably won't exist anymore

    whoisdatmaskedman Report

    #49

    Learning that Santa is real and you're him.

    Hami69690 Report

    #50

    When you realize basically everyone is just faking it til they make it.

    DinkandDrunk Report

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    #51

    Everybody here is being so...real.

    My adult "Santa's not real" moment was finding out the MythBusters weren't friends off camera.

    ItsAMeMitchell Report

    #52

    That one day everything anyone ever did will be swallowed up by the sun.

    BAF_DaWg82 Report

    #53

    Realizing that 1.000$ or even 10.000$ is not much money.

    rb6486 Report

    #54

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real There are no hot singles in your area.

    MacMemo81 , Christian Wiediger Report

    #55

    That fruits and veggies expire mich faster if you pay for it Yourself :(

    Calm_Virus2687 Report

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    #56

    Finding out that hard work means they give you more work instead of a raise or promotion.

    AdonisGaming93 Report

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    #57

    Finding out that security authorities aren't there to actually protect the safety of the people

    -KuroOkami- Report

    #58

    Looking up a friend and finding out they have died.

    anaugle Report

    #59

    Seeing your paycheck and all the taxes deducted from it

    Wiltbradley Report

    #60

    Learning that people will say or do anything just to have sex with you. Learning that your body is a toy to be relentlessly pursued, played with, then discarded like it’s nothing. Wish my dad had told me.

    TheLadyMerlot Report

    #61

    the first two things that came to mind were: how orcas, belugas, dolphins, etc in captivity are treated, and where the meat at the store comes from. i think these can be covered by just generally “how humans treat animals”. like seeing baby chicks get thrown into meat grinders, alive, by the f*****g hundreds. intelligent cetaceans that, for all intents and purposes, have PTSD and personality disorders from decades of torture. seeing Canadian baby seal clubbing. god, that one might be the worst thing i’ve ever seen. hearing them scream out, then the screams just stop. and it’s a goddamn baby, too. i loved nature at a very young age. my favorite thing was going to natural history museums for a long time. loved animals, genuinely enjoyed being around them more than other kids. finding out how they get treated, and realizing the scale of it, that s**t altered my soul.

    cicatrix-maledictum Report

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    #62

    50 People Reveal The Harsh Truths That Were The Adult Version Of Being Told Santa Isn’t Real Realising that no, we can’t have McDonald’s, coz there is food in the freezer.

    AwezMush , Shahbaz Ali Report

    #63

    Realizing just how high the deductible is on your insurance.

    peeweemax Report

    #64

    For me it was finding out those HGTV shows are all more or less staged.

    nikki_225 Report

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    #65

    Discovering all the shows and movies you loved as a child were c**p, and you just enjoyed them because you didn't know any better.

    RegularEmbarrassed36 Report

    #66

    Realizing NOTHING is free.

    hallba78 Report

    #67

    When you expect your boss to give you a raise for all of your hard work but instead get a pizza party.

    ami2weird4u Report

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    #68

    Discovering that the “special recipe” for a dish that your parents have always made was just on the back of one of the ingredient’s packages.

    Justus_2112 Report

    #69

    You never really own a house or property. You rent it from the government for the rest of your life.

    grannywanda Report

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    #70

    Realisation that your parents are not as smart as you once thought.

    Samar9034 Report

    #71

    Finding out it’s the pole that spins not the stripper

    Consistent_Eye_631 Report

    #72

    Finding out what parents mean when they say budget.

    Scumbag787 Report

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    #73

    Finding out that everything you want is not affordable

    DanielCollinsYT Report

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    #74

    That you’re not going to be financially independent by 30.

    Amazing_Damage4078 Report

    #75

    Credit scores were invented in the 90s.

    zykezero Report

    #76

    It’s not a meritocracy.

    another_brick Report

    #77

    That the filter on the water jug doesn’t count down to replacement based on usage, it’s just a timer.

    qu1x0t1cZ Report

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    #78

    Realising that no one in any position of authority is competent..

    6033624 Report

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    #79

    Realizing that god doesn’t exist.

    jbyington Report

    #80

    Finding out that you’re getting older, which means getting uglier, less mobile, worse health, etc.

    You can delay poor health to an extent, but one way or another, it’s coming for us all.

    Revival93 Report