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It’s no surprise that every stage in life comes with a different set of worries and challenges. What might come as a surprise, though, is what said set often entails.
Those who’ve already stepped into the third decade of their lives know that adulthood is no exception. Whether it’s finances, health, or other important matters that continuously remind people of themselves—often accompanied by a headache—there’s always something to worry about. If you’re wondering what that something is for different people, scroll down to find out what things our readers were not prepared for in adulthood.
Seeking to learn more about what worries people as adults and how best to deal with it all, Bored Panda turned to an expert in adult development psychology, based in the School of Human Sciences at the University of Greenwich, Dr. Oliver Robinson, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. Scroll down to find his thoughts in the text below.
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#1
That you don't realise when you're supposed to be an adult. All of the sudden you're just middle aged everything hurts and you still feel like you're waiting for this adult thing to happen
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“Adults have an infinite number of potential worries, so the key to adult life is how not to worry about any of them. Worry doesn’t help anything, so is best dispensed with completely,” Dr. Oliver Robinson told Bored Panda in a recent interview. While not worrying is easier said than done, it might be helpful to at least try and stay calm and collected in situations that adulthood throws at you.
#4
Being virtually the only person left in your life who remembers anything about your childhood. It’s disorienting
#5
The older you get the more invisible you become.
According to a recent Ipsos poll, now, in 2024, people tend to worry most about inflation, poverty and social inequality, and crime.
“As adults, we have to face a world where actual tragedies and potential threats are a daily occurrence, to ourselves, to those we know and to the wider world. Happiness is necessarily not a good fit with being aware of the facts of the world, and ironically, trying to be happy as an adult, while being aware of the suffering of others, can create anxiety,” Dr. Robinson pointed out.
“However, it is entirely reasonable, and indeed much recommended, to be calm and composed as an adult in the face of what we learn on the news, or issues and illnesses in our lives or the lives of those we know.
“The first step to staying calm and composed, and thus being of help to others in crisis, is not aiming to be happy. If happiness comes in quiet moments in your life, that is of course a good thing, but happiness genuinely manifests more reliably when you don’t aim for it. A calm and composed person thinks carefully through problems or issues, and does not need to worry.”
#6
That you can have pimples and grey hair at the same time.
#7
How expensive it is to just exist. Even after doing all the things I was told to be “successful” like getting good grades and going to college. Also the mental breakdowns, anxiety, and depression.
Even though such things as your health or the well-being of your loved ones are relevant at pretty much any stage of one’s life, once they reach a certain age, the troubles people focus on the most seem to differ with each age group.
According to the expert in adult development psychology, the main worries for young adults, for instance, are focused most on the future, both their own future and the future of the planet. “They have the burden of trying to carve out a life in a challenging world, and each big decision can be a worry. Their life is full of decisions that change the future. The key issue here is anxiety and feelings of being marginalized.
“Middle-aged adults worry about getting old and the tiring combination of raising children, work and other societal commitments. The key issues here are burnout and tiredness,” he continued.
“Older adults’ main worries are loneliness, losing status and meaning, and losing a place in the world. The key issue here is loss of meaning and purpose.”
#9
Not knowing what to cook every day.
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
I eat whatever looks like it's about to go bad in the random food I bought. Not very creative. 🤷🏿
#10
How childish and petty bosses and other adults can be. Some even going out of their own way to ensure others are miserable.
keyboardtek 7 months ago (edited)
Those people were the a******s you encountered since childhood. They grow up to be the bad bosses because they all enjoyed bullying.
#11
That after 40, you have to decide if you’re having indigestion, anxiety attack or heart attack when you have a slight pain
“One of the great pathologies in modern society is the belief that the meaning of life emerges through hard work and corresponding public success, and that if you work harder and harder, suddenly the meaning of life is solved,” Dr. Robinson said.
“But for most, it is actually love and relationships that bring meaning to life. This was brilliantly evidenced by research on terminally ill patients, where they were asked about their regrets. Two of the main regrets were working too much and not spending enough time with friends. When faced with the end of life, as these terminally ill patients were, the meaning of it becomes more clear.
“So slow down and make sure that your life is well balanced between relationships, family, exercise, leisure and work. For those who are not working, make sure to find activities that give social connection and purpose, such as social hobbies.”
#12
Adults seemed so grown up and mature when I was a child. As an adult... Boy was I wrong.
#13
That life is just about winging it. You never know the answers to everything or have the solutions to everything.
#14
Needing to sleep then not being able to.
Mia Black 7 months ago
I just had four days off but woke up more than two hours BEFORE my alarm would go on at a workday....I have sleep issues ever since I remember, sometimes better sometimes worse but this year is somehow special. There seem to be no breaks. Frustrating. Especially after two very stressful years. This year I wanted to recover at least a little because the stressor is gone but noooo, my body (and/or mind) decided to act this weird...tsk
#15
That apparently not all adults matured past high school
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 7 months ago
Al Bundy syndrome. He did four touchdowns in one game and married the head cheerleader. Married With Children was such an underrated sitcom.
#16
Body aches and pains. Chores, never ending chores. Bills, never ending bills to pay! Adulting is hard.
Tabitha 7 months ago (edited)
And along with those aches and pains you have diminished energy. I used to be able to be active from sunrise to sundown and get so much done in one day, which left me with a lot more leisure time since I got everything done so fast. At 63, I now have to divide up my chores over several days, with rest periods in between, just to keep everything in order and completed. I know, I probably should’ve always paced myself, but I didn’t really have to so I didn’t. I liked getting everything done in as little time as possible, so I would have just that much more time where I didn’t have to do any work and could relax and do fun stuff I wanted—-not needed, not had—-to do. I miss that energy.
#18
That you still can’t have as many horses/dogs/cats as you want - or live in a castle.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
When I was a kid, my mom tried to get me onboard with becoming a "famous actress" by telling me I could have a huge house with as many pets as I wanted. Turns out SHE just wanted me to become a famous child actor so that SHE could get the money and never have to work again XD I do have four pets currently - two cats and two dogs - and they are a LOT of work, but I wouldn't trade them for anything XD
#19
That you can have the time or the money but never both at the same time.
#20
How much bras hurt your body by the end of the day, even if they're properly fitted.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago (edited)
My fellow people with large-ish breasts: the MINDD brand bra is the BEST bra I have found in my 42 years of life. I am largeish-breasted (38DD) and I loathe underwire bras. They have caused me so much pain over the years and I've even gotten skin sores from the wires poking/chafing/etc. The MINDD bras might SEEM a little iffy since they don't have underwires, but they are WONDERFUL bras and I can *WASH THEM NORMALLY*. They are pricey (what bras aren't? sigh) but they are VERY worth it.
#21
The idea of working hard, always trying to do what is right,that you win in the end. So very wrong. The good does not overcome all the evil. So hard for me to accept.
#22
Realizing how many people youll have to deal with throughout life that are so incompetent.
#24
Watching your parents age. Seeing them go from young parents to elderly grandparents is….both beautiful and painful.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Never got to see this with my dad, the only non-abusive parent I had :( He had an accident when I was 18 (he sustained catastrophic brain damage in the accident and became near-vegetative) and we took care of him at home for 20+ years. He died in 2021. I wish he was still here, but my dad was "gone" long before he actually died. My mother, who is a toxic narcissist and abusive.... she's 79 and STILL somehow puttering around, strong as ever, powered by pure evil.
#25
That women are not allowed to get old. They are expected to stay young, thin and perky forever.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Then you hit age 40 and you realize "Wow! This is stupid! Why do I give a rat's patootie about what OTHER PEOPLE think about how I dress?" and you start wearing men's cargo shorts (pockets!!!!) and cute t-shirts with cartoon cats on them. You don't care that you weigh 150 lbs but "should" weigh 115 lbs (according to your boyfriend, who can shove it.) Hair frizzy? If you don't care, then don't care about what other PEOPLE think! Don't feel like putting on makeup today? THAT IS OKAY! Take care of yourself and your hygiene, yes, but your MENTAL health re: your clothing, appearance, etc. is also excruciatingly important. I did not learn that until my early 40s. I spent 20+ years trying to be the cute, thin, well-dressed, fashionable girl that I thought my boyfriend wanted. Now, if he loves ME, then he loves ME, and not what I wear or how perky my tiddlywinks are.
#26
That you may end up being the most “adult” person you know and other “adults” will look to you in “I need an adult” moments.
#27
Everything going up so much faster than my rate of pay.
keyboardtek 7 months ago
The rich elite billionaires are money sucking pariahs. But our political parties still give them tax cuts and all the breaks, while never increasing minimum wage or workers salaries. They ultimately are the cause of inflation as they have to maintain their profit margins at the consumers expense.
#28
The Development of allergies at almost 30 when u never had them
Screaming_Icecream 7 months ago
Yeah! As a kid, I always played with cats, stroked, hugged and kissed them and whatever, and nothing bad ever happened! Now I just sit nearby a cat at the vet's waiting room, and I'm all in tears, snot, my whole body itches and I have troubles breathing. But I still love cats and would like to pet them once in a while...
#29
That I could afford all the video games but never have time to play them
#30
Getting up in a morning with more injuries than u went to bed with
#31
Getting to grips with the reality that nothing really matters and we are all going to die eventually sooner than we expected - we’ll be buried with our very big dreams, expectations and life ambitions that we slowly, every year, gave up on trying to attain. On the flip side, the realization that health and the small moments with loved ones is really all that goes with you to the grave.
#33
Even when you treat others the way you want to be treated they could not return the favor
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 7 months ago
Could not? No. Would not, yes. Some people just don't care. Some people are too damaged. Some people are too busy. It's when you find those few that WILL that really makes trying worth it.
#34
How boring it can be. You work, take care of other people, eat, sleep, then wake up and do the same thing the next day and the next. The monotony gets broken when something c****y pops up but you still have those regular obligations.
#35
You gotta buy YOURSELF gifts
Or no one will
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 7 months ago
On the other paw, you know better than anyone what kind of presents you like, and what size/color/flavor/platform you want it in.
#37
That you are alone and you will never feel safe and secure . The constant worry about everything
Sarah Suelzle 7 months ago
I have felt this way my entire life with only a few brief respites here and there 😐
#38
Having to work for a living, forever.
keyboardtek 7 months ago (edited)
The only people I personally know who were able to retire early with a lot of money chose not to have kids. They saved a ton of money and now travel in a motor home in their retirement years, have a paid off mortgage, and generally are very comfortable. They did not have a single regret not having children.
#40
If you do not agree with EVERYTHING other adults say they hate you.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 7 months ago
If someone hates you for having a different opinion, that person is not an adult, no matter what their chronological age. Adults recognize and enjoy their differences. For instance, I believe in God. Most of the people on BP whom I consider friends do not. We still enjoy meowing/barking/chirping at each other. We still read what each other has written, and often find things to agree on. It's ok to disagree. You can still be respectful of people; you can still enjoy each other's company, and you can still celebrate your differences.
#42
You never become an adult, you're only cosplaying one. But no one tells you that as a kid becsuse they are busy cosplaying.
Multa Nocte 7 months ago (edited)
I think the difference here is that many children believe they have to grow up to be totally independent and self-sufficient as an adult. Once you learn that you don't have to do everything yourself, that there are people and organisations out there that help you and that you are part of an interdependent ecosystem, that changes your perspective. The belief in "total independence" is where the problem lies. I am guessing this is tougher for men than for women because of cultural expectations.
#44
No one told me becoming an old adult would hurt so much
#45
Life itself? How hard it is to be an adult? Being lost and not knowing what to do ?
What do you think ?
Kate Jones 7 months ago (edited)
How not having children affects not only you but the people in your life. If you know you don't want them, you need to prepare yourself for other people's reactions to that now, including your family. I never really wanted kids. And there's this societal fear if you're a woman that if you don't couple up and have a baby then your life is meaningless. So people end up in bad relationships and full of regrets because they can't just be okay with being by themselves. And a part of me wishes I had a baby, if for no other reason than giving my parents a grandchild. I know I can't have a kid for someone else. But it's still hard- they're obviously sad about it and it affects them. They worry about me being alone when they're gone and I get that. Society doesn't know how to deal with this choice. I'm so tired of being called a cat lady or 'aren't you lonely?' And no... I don't have an amazing job that I chose over family. That's not the only reason to not have them. And no, I don't have dozens of friends that 'fulfill' me. I just didn't want kids, at least not by myself. And I wasn't going to pair up with someone I didn't love just to make a baby I wasn't sure if I even wanted.
Poultry Geist 7 months ago
How hard it can be to scroll bored panda but if I drop my phone ,try to catch it, and accidentally hit the screen I am at the top of the page again 😭
David Fox 7 months ago
The new lingo/street talk......I just don't understand what kids are saying nowadays.
Mike F 7 months ago
Urban Dictionary saves the day. I've had it on my home screen for years.
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 7 months ago (edited)
How not having children affects not only you but the people in your life. If you know you don't want them, you need to prepare yourself for other people's reactions to that now, including your family. I never really wanted kids. And there's this societal fear if you're a woman that if you don't couple up and have a baby then your life is meaningless. So people end up in bad relationships and full of regrets because they can't just be okay with being by themselves. And a part of me wishes I had a baby, if for no other reason than giving my parents a grandchild. I know I can't have a kid for someone else. But it's still hard- they're obviously sad about it and it affects them. They worry about me being alone when they're gone and I get that. Society doesn't know how to deal with this choice. I'm so tired of being called a cat lady or 'aren't you lonely?' And no... I don't have an amazing job that I chose over family. That's not the only reason to not have them. And no, I don't have dozens of friends that 'fulfill' me. I just didn't want kids, at least not by myself. And I wasn't going to pair up with someone I didn't love just to make a baby I wasn't sure if I even wanted.
Poultry Geist 7 months ago
How hard it can be to scroll bored panda but if I drop my phone ,try to catch it, and accidentally hit the screen I am at the top of the page again 😭
David Fox 7 months ago
The new lingo/street talk......I just don't understand what kids are saying nowadays.
Mike F 7 months ago
Urban Dictionary saves the day. I've had it on my home screen for years.
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