“For People Who Need A Break From The Real World”: 40 Memes From ‘Adult Coffee Break’

Ugh, flashbacks to when I worked FOH at a brewpub. Beer snobs are the absolute worst. "Well it seems to have a persimmon note...". Actual "conversation" from one of these guys.

We can’t bust heads like we used to—but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.

yup grade 8 and 9 someone transferred to my school and the whole time i knew them there was never more than 30 seconds of silence

Oh yes...afew times...I am assuming people may have thought the same of me also...

Well...did YOU tell 'em?

Amen!!!

This is the true meaning of co-worker, not just someone who works where you do.

I have a few of those :)

SHUT THE H3LL UP AND GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY SNAIL SNOT (wink)

I hated it when I found myself taking on the role of boss in my department. Mainly because I was the boss.

We call them SAMs, self appointed managers. "Tell you what Sam, I'll get right on that."

God, I have one of those at work.

At my job the boss gives certain people a job to do and tells them to delegate things to others. Sometimes someone telling you what to do at work isnt their choice.

Amen

I moved more than the Eurasian plate and killed less people than cows did on average last year - we have to celebrate even small archievements

I maintain my thoughts that if I have to "fix" the printer one more time by putting more paper in that I'll kill someone...

"I refer you to the established record."

The professional version of "Listen you little shi..."

I feel very lucky to have a job that actually interests me.

Not interesting

Remember to yell "help!" before punching someone, that way you can claim it was self-defense! :D

Simon makes big money by humiliating people. Simon is a wanker. Don't be like Simon.

school too

Well I'm not about to let wage theft slide

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Omg yeah and then trying to subtly push them in the right direction without upsetting them, it’s like trying to move a cat without disturbing their nap 😂

The classic, "I was just trying to help, THEY are the problem" comes to mind.

Oh yeah been there. I remember one specific day when I came in and the forks on the forklift were way too close together. I saw it, shrugged and said, I hope our warehouseman is clever enough to adjust them before he starts moving product. Short answer, no. He took a corner too sharp and wiped out a whole pallet of finished bottles.

I find it's usually not the pay but lack of respect. Why should I say anything if you're just going to ignore me.

"not my department, but for an extra £10 an hour for the foreseeable future, i suppose i could see what i can do on this occasion"

Arrival at work: okay just 2 hours until first break, another 2 until lunch, 2 more until next break, then 2 hours and I go home.

I do that with exercise

yup

"ok 8 hours is 16 SpongeBob shows each with 2 episodes. If I allow a 5 minute ad break in between, then I should mentally watch 32 SpongeBob episodes to make it through work." Tell me I'm not the only one doing this

This guy got killed in The Beekeeper.

Norwegians say, "I'm out of bed and not crying."

Vertical and ventilating

I like to say, "I'm vertical".

If it's still morning I usually go with "definitely alive, awake is still up for debate."

Then they should do away with shallow niceties if they don't want them actually answered.

"I cannot contain the urge to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building."

"Why are you the way that you are?"

Toxic people are those who make you feel frustrated every time you say anything to them.

Typically it's the boss' son