The OP excuses his mother because she's "old-fashioned"??? WTF, is adoption a controversial new concept? And "lineage"?? Who the f#ck wants to inherit her genes for discrimination???? The post is a year old. Let's hope the husband has listened to his wife and supports his daughter against his mother.

F*CK the little old lady and F*CK the husband. Protect those babies and get rid of both of those stains on humanity ASAP! They can go make "perfect babies" themselves to protect their "august lineage" 🙄

Guess what, lady? Your "lineage" ain't that special! And, who in the hell says words like lineage anyway? Perhaps someone who barely ventures out of the county they were born in and who looks down their nose at anyone who isn't their own kinfolk...no one needs this kind of lineage passed down!

I hate to say this, but if you buckle, your MIL will continue her abusive behaviour and your daughter will suffer from it for the rest of her life.

Absolutely block the grandmother until she realizes the impact of her words, apologizes to the children IN YOUR PRESENCE that what she said was wrong. Your husband needs to "man up" and stop being a Mama's boy. My ex ALWAYS valued his family over me. That's why he is my ex. Twenty eight years after our divorce he rarely speaks to our kids. I have a step granddaughter but to me she's just my grandchild. No step about it. 😊

Sucks to find your partner is worthless when you already have kids

"You don't know her parentage / she'll disgrace my lineage".... Granny's racist, got it.

"Disgrace her lineage"?? What are you, European royalty? The woman is out of her mind and evil.

I would take the kids and leave him. And file for sole custody on the grounds that him and his mother are toxic to her children.

MIL and husband are AH. MIL clearly is. Husband can't defend hate regardless of age. He can't expect his children to accept and process hate. Ridiculous.

This is from someone who has 30+ years of working with troubled kids and their families. RUN, do not walk, to therapy for the entire family. Face the ugly truth: your husband is willing to discount and dismiss cruelty toward your children. I say children because telling your son that his sister is not worthy of kindness, etc. is an act of abuse. He needs to grow knowing that he is loved by his entire family, that his sister is his sister (biology aside) and that you are a FAMILY. Not 4 separate individuals with differing values, 4 equal people. If your husband will not defend his child, then he needs a serious reordering of his thinking and you need to weigh whether he is capable of being the father his kids need. As for your MIL...she is very sick and needs her own adjustment, but for now she needs to be kept from the children.

I would ban the husband too and tell him he's not a real man for not protecting his children. I would have told the MIL :"Next time you see your grandchilden will be at your funeral, let's hope that's soon".

The MIL doesn't like her DIL and views her as damaged goods after the traumatic first pregnancy and the decision not to go through that again. So, MIL does not feel any obligation to honor the DIL's feelings or parental philosophies. I'm going to guess the husband would have preferred more bio kids, but knew his wife wouldn't go for it, so he settled and was happy enough with the adopted kid and even loves her, but isn't as bought into it as his wife and mainly agreed to deal with her trauma. If they divorce over this, I would bet good money he'd wind up married to a slightly younger model in under a year and then pop out the 5+ kids he was wanting.

Excusing MIL’s behavior, by calling her "old-fashioned" is just bulls**t! An old relative of mine was adopted, and she was born around 1920. She was very much loved by all the family, all her life. Unless this MIL is 105, she's much younger than my relative, and ought to grasp the concept of adoption, and that all living children are just as REAL, whether biologically related to their parents or not. It's bulls**t from beginning to end: even if Julia were biologically related to her parents, Malcolm would still be the only "real son" to the parents, as Julia is the "real daughter". Malcolm is the only "real grandson", just as Julia is the only "real granddaughter".

As an adult adoptee, that MIL is poison to that little girl. Even though adoption is a normal way to build a family and many adoptees have super experiences within those families, there are adult adoptees still having issues that are not the parents' fault. Sibling relationships are also dodgy sometimes, so get your family into counseling and do not let your MIL near your kids. If your husband won't go to counseling, get your own counseling for divorce. He needs to be 110% on your side on this issue.

My Dad's Mom acted this way with me. My parents had my older brother, was told it wasn't safe for her to have more children, so they adopted me. She then got pregnant with my little sister. My gramma made it very clear that I wasn't liked or wanted. It made my siblings say the same thing to me all the time. She was 87 years old when she apologized to me for it, saying that "I should have treated all my grandchildren the same." I forgave her, but my mind said "yes, yes you should have."

Oh that old bat needs a come to Jesus meeting. The husband might need one too, the wife needs to tell him again what Malcolm did and said to Julia until it gets through his thick skull. Until the husband backs her up absolutely Grandma doesn't go anywhere near those kids. Make sure the school knows she isn't allowed to pick them up either.

LADY, LADY, LADY WHY IS BALDHEAD MIL not laying in the hospital somewhere with sky high blood pressure with her heart skipping beats? couldn't have been me cause you should've done her HATEFUL A*S IN! KEEP THE KIDS AWAY FROM THE OLD FASHIONED DUMB FAKE A*S IN LAW MOTHER! OLE MESSY A*S WANNA-BE GRANNY!

I would take out a restraining order on MIL so fast her old hateful head would spin. And hubby would be banished to the couch until he got his head unstuck from his a**.

My MIL favored our firstborn over the second and spoiled him rotten. I tried to compensate the younger child and she told his brother that I loved the younger one better and hated him. I didn't know why he turned against me and the rest of our family until much later, when it was too late. She died last year and he killed himself this year. He adored her and hated me. Don't let this happen to you.

Omg your poor little girl 😭 I hope you told your husband and your mil to go pound sand !! If he didn’t stand up for her right when you told him , sadly he never will and your little girl will grow up being treated differently and thinking something’s wrong with her and that she’s never going to be accepted . I hope she and your son are doing ok now , and that you have support from Your family and friends