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30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I was adopted at about 5 months old, so I had no memory of my birth parents. My birth mother was addicted to drugs, and her boyfriend was an abusive a*****e. Well, a few years after I was born, she managed to get away from him, and started her road to recovery. Now, she's totally clean and owns a bakery.

I know all of this because when I was 37 years old, she managed to track me down, because in her words, she "just wanted to be sure that she made the right decision". And I think she did, because we're both doing pretty well now, and I don't think we would be if she had kept me.

GomedyCold , Tran Report

Final score:

196points

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Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

Omg I'm so glad this had a happy ending, after the bride's post i need good stories

57points

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like Born in eastern China during the one-child policy. I was premature so my mom took care of me in secret for a few months before leaving me near a theatre. I was found by an elderly woman who I am forever thankful for. She brought me to an orphanage for premature babies. Adopted by Finnish parents at age 1. I am 16 now and I still don't know who my mother is or if she is alive. I would like to meet her and give her a big hug. During the one-child policy women were forced to get sterilized, forced abortions, and police tracking cycles. She is the bravest woman I know

anon , Omar Lopez Report

Final score:

186points

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Jennik 1 year ago

A brave woman indeed and the child is also courageous for understanding and accepting the pressures the mother was under. Good to see it has worked out for the child.

98points

DramaDoc 1 year ago

I have a similar background, OP. I'm Korean though. I was left on the doorstep of a police station and then adopted by American parents at 1 year. Any way you look at it, your bio mom and the woman who found you clearly cared enough to leave you at/near places where you were quickly found and taken care of (me too for that matter). All the best to you!

7points

BEATRICE SIEGEL 1 year ago

I hope you find her, and that she's in a good place!

6points

Huddo's sister 1 year ago

I had a friend whose family had come to Australia from China during the one child policy because they got pregnant after their first child. It was a tough thing to learn about when I was 8, but even tougher for them to live through!

4points

RKBJR82 1 year ago

Just asking, how does he know his back story if he hasn't ever met her? Or did I misread?

4points

Gianna B D 1 year ago

I think everything before the elderly lady found them is conjecture, probably on the part of the orphanage. I think but since the orphanage specializes in premature children, they would be able to tell that this person was already several months old and since there was no record of them, it would be reasonable to assume that things were done in secret.

4points

Cat 1 year ago

Glad she/he grew up in a loving entrepreneurial. Not sure how the OP found out about him/her being given up for adoption was due to one child policy. It could have been unwanted teenage pregnancy, which carried huge stigma back then. Or over concerns about a premie's health issues which are common among premie babies

1point

Dee 1 year ago

OP said they were born during the one child policy, they don’t expressly say they were given up because of it.

0points

Susie Elle 1 year ago

The one-child policy was atrocious.

0points

The Thing 1 year ago

☺

0points

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like Not me, my mother.
Grandmother was 16 when she fell pregnant and her parents placed her into this house for teenage girls who were ‘troubled’, my mother got adopted by a lovely couple and my grandmother returned to England.
Fast forward to 2 weeks before my mother’s 40th birthday, she decides that she is ready to try and find her biological mother. She wrote a letter to the agency to grant permission for her mother to contact her/receive her info. The next day she gets a phone call from the agency; apparently her mother sent in her own letter only 2 DAYS before. They contacted each other and turns out my grandmother was actually in South Africa (this is where she lived when she was pregnant w/ my mother) and visiting one of her sons that lived only an HOUR away from our home.
She came to our house for my mother’s 40th and it was amazing.
This was 16 years ago and she recently stayed with us in the holidays where the two of them would lay in bed and giggle like school girls about life while watching Downton Abby.
They can’t even go 2 days without FaceTiming each other for hours now. :)

MlaGV , Heather McKean Report

Final score:

171points

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Oktogal 1 year ago

Aww. I’m so glad this story has a happy ending!

46points

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I was adopted shortly after birth. My adoptive parents are awesome and never hid anything from me. Life was good. I was always curious what sort of ethnic background I came from, so I took an Ancestry DNA test. The results were interesting; my adoptive parents are German and English, and my birth parents are also German and English. I made contact with a few long lost cousins, but nobody remembered anyone giving up a a baby. Months pass, and I get a message from one of the long lost cousins - he checked with other family members and sure enough he knows who my birth mother is. We made phone contact and finally were able to meet in person. She was able to tell me who my birth father was. I met them both (each individually), it has been life changing. I now get together with each one and their respective families a couple times a year. The fact that I now have 2 bonus (birth) families is mind blowing. It may have taken 45 years, but it was all worth the wait! I never thought knowing who they are would affect me the way it did. I can’t explain it other than a feeling of being “whole”. Knowing these people just warms my heart. I am beyond lucky.

jenjuno123 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Final score:

129points

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Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

That's awesome, 3 families is something else

26points

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I might be overstepping. I am not adopted. But my mom had her first son when she was 16 and gave him up for adoption.

When I was 16, she told me about him and that she had found him (she only started looking when my brother and I were old enough to understand her decision). The first time I met him, I was working a shift at KFC. My mom called the store and told me he is only in town for the evening and that he wanted to meet me, even if it was just briefly. I was so excited. They showed up and I clocked out for my break. It was such an odd experience. He told me about his daughters, and asked about school and work, and then we had to cut it short so I could get back to work.

Its been 16 years since we met now, and my mom has been so happy. He ended up having some health issues, he is okay now, but had they not met, he wouldn't have been able to get the genetic testing done to find out it was an issue he was born with. His daughters have the same defect and are on medication, but without my mom, they would all probably still be in limbo.

He once told me he felt like the luckiest guy. He got adopted by a wonderful family, he has wonderful parents, my mother included, he has brothers and sisters, and includes myself and my brother. We don't often use the term "half" even if its technically true. He says he is lucky cause he got this giant family out of the situation, and his daughters are loved by three sets of grandparents. They call my mom Grandma.

QuyynseyFae , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

119points

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Kevin the Manager 1 year ago

This is what I hope my reunification story will read like (if it ever happens, still searching). I am envious of all of you!

49points

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I was informally adopted by a former teacher when I was fifteen because some people are *awesome.*

My biological father is a piece of s**t. Last I heard he was homeless in St. Paul and with any luck he is or will be very very dead soon.

My biological mom tried her best with what she had, but was also a manipulative narcissist.

lexmattness , Taylor Flowe Report

Final score:

86points

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Merilyn Horton 1 year ago

Wonderful teacher

39points

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I am 43 years old and met my bio family (mother, brother, and sister) almost exactly 10 years ago now. I found my mother after a brief Facebook search (I had her name and an appropriate age and knew she went to high school in a specific part of the city.)

The meeting went very well and I finally found people that I could relate to for my unusual sense of humor. Our ongoing relationship blows up and preconceived notions I had about nature vs nurture. We mostly like all the same stuff (my brother is a Star Wars fan, while mom, sis, and myself are all Trekkers).

While it's only been 10 years, if feels like I've known them my entire life.

The topic of dad came up once, and I was told that when my siblings were little, and before I was born he left without warning. My sister tried to contact him years later and he wanted nothing to do with anyone from his previous life.

10/10 would recommend anyone who has the means to find their bio family to do so.

I'd also like to add my sincerest thanks to some random clerk at the Ontario Registrar General's office in Toronto that accidentally disclosed my parentage while I was applying for a birth certificate that made the entire endeavor possible.

Mars27819 , Alexander Grey Report

Final score:

81points

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Acadia 1 year ago

I don't know if everyone who can find their birth family should. There can be a lot of hurt involved if they don't turn out how you thought or if they don't want to meet.

4points

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like Yes. My birth mother was 13. I understood completely. But when she told me "Now that I found you I am your ONLY mother" I never spoke to her again.

My birth father … he was 20. But it was the 70's so I'm not going to give him too much grief. He's got a great job. Stable life however he fathered 7 children. All girls. All placed for adoption. Every few years another one pops up. Smh

Oh, and I should mention that even though they have been married to other people for 20-plus years- they were still sleeping together in 2000.

I have parents and these aren't them.

Edit: I forgot to add my birth father never told his current wife and found an email from me and she sent me a nasty reply assuming we were having an affair. I responded with the 3 other names of his other "children" ( the others popped up after this). I know it was probably wrong but I was hurt. The names she called me...
I later found out from his daughter he raised that Barb was furious at him for never telling him and HER mother divorced him after she found him and my birth mother in bed. She never knew I existed either. She only found out after that daughter found out and searched me out on Myspace.

Yep, total soap opera.

piglet110419 , Sincerely Media Report

Final score:

74points

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lenka 1 year ago

70s or not - a 13 year old cannot consent to sex with a 20 year old. This was statutory rape. Simple.

90points

#10

I am not adopted but I was a foster child (kinship care). My father left my mother and I when I was 1 and my mother died five days after my little brother was born when I was 2.5. My father knew she died but never came to claim me. My aunt and uncle raised me from that point on. When I was 11 I answered the phone and a man asked for my Aunt. When I handed her the phone and she asked who it was she immediately started crying. Later on her and my uncle told me it was my father and that he wanted to meet me and it was completely up to me. It took me a while but I finally agreed. He showed up and I hid in my bathroom crying for hours. Eventually I came downstairs and met him. He cried. I cried. He told me that he never knew my mother died (he admitted later on that was a lie) and that he had been looking for me for years. He claimed she left him and took me away which was also a lie (he abandoned us in a motel and took all of the baby items she had for me so she had nothing). I was young so I thought he really did want me now. I started weekend visits. I turned out he had a new wife and a son. I thought everything was going well until one day about 6 months later he just cut off all contact and once again abandoned me. 3 years later he came back. He claimed he left because he thought he was having a negative effect on my life. We talked for about a year. He stuck around all the while telling me I belonged with him and his family and how he could give me a good life. He said his family wanted me there. I was 15 and naive. I thought I knew best. I believed everything and thought the grass would be greener on the other side. I desperately wanted a dad. So I moved in with him. I didn’t take long for him to start letting his wife treat me like garbage and spread horrible rumors about me and my dead mother. She didn’t want me eating the food they bought but wouldn’t allow me to get a job while in high school to buy my own things. He told me I was jealous of her because her body was better than mine (I was 104 lbs at the time) and that he’d never choose me over her (I never once asked him to and I would never). I got kicked out soon after I graduated and I suspect it had something to do with the social security checks they were getting for me (because my mother died) had stopped. Looking back I’m ashamed of what I did. Being 15/16 I thought I knew it all. And I made the biggest mistake of my life. That first meeting can go so well but its no indicator of how things will go in the future.

Sam_IAmNot Report

Final score:

74points

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Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago

It's okay. You were young--you couldn't haven known. I'm glad now that you are free of him. Big internet hug.

31points

#11

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like Wife was adopted at birth. She has no interest in her bio-family. She says her adopted parents are her only parents. The bio-family has tried to reach out to us by sending letters every few years. My wife just rips them up and throws them away as soon as she realized it is from them. Usually within the first sentence. I have been tempted to piece it together and read them. But I respect her wishes not to. Plus she would never forgive me if I did.

harvest3155 , Liam Truong Report

Final score:

68points

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María Hermida 1 year ago

It must be very difficult for her, and she had every right to be hurt, but there are so many reasons to give up a child! Perhaps she wouldn't be alive if she hadn't been adopted, and knowing why it happened would heal her. In many cases, giving a baby for adoption is the most selfless thing a mother can do.

44points

#12

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like My friend and his sister went looking for their dad in their late teens/early 20s.

He found out his sister and dad hooked up a few times. It was a weird family secret.

simpson_hey , Womanizer Toys Report

Final score:

64points

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Monday 1 year ago

This is a weirdly common occurrence. Apparently if you meet biological family later in life there's a chance it could result in an intense sexual attraction. Why you'd act on that is beyond me though.

44points

#13

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like Both my mom and her sister were adopted (from a different set of biological parents). My mom's mother refused contact and didn't tell her (later) family about her. They only found out after she died. My mom had made up a bunch of exotic stories to cope (including her tribe in Afghanistan where she happened to live in her early years (back before the Soviet invasion). I found out after both my mom and her bio mom were dead, the former from a drug overdose, the latter from diabetes at an early age. My mom's sister was the product of rape.

Moral of the story: you're probably not descended from royalty. Be prepared for a tragic story, as best case scenario is your parents had no means of providing for you and gave you up willingly and out of love.

nerbovig , Louis Galvez Report

Final score:

62points

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The Thing 1 year ago

So sad

8points

#14

I grew up with my bio mom, but not my dad. I was around 10 when mom told me the man I called dad wasn't my actual father and that he 'adopted' me. Having been completely sheltered and naive, I only partially understood. Grew up not really caring, but also realizing i was a little different from the rest of my siblings (drastically different interests and personalities, not really physically).
Fast forward to age 26 and I get a Facebook message out of the blue, from some chick claiming to be my sister. I thought it was a hoax at first, but then realized it was legit. Ended up meeting my aunt and grandparents shortly after for the first time. It was surreal. I went from having 8 siblings, to adding another 3 to that.
Mom finally told me a little about him. Not much though, I think she was still trying to protect me. She said he ran drugs to Cali and that's why she dumped him. I didnt press the matter.
A few months later after I met my grandparents, I find out my grandfather is dying and I should visit. That's when I met my bio dad.
He stepped out and I knew it was him immediately. How? I'm not sure, his eyes where covered by sunglasses, I didnt see much of his face. I gave him a hug. We had no history of hard feelings. I also met my teenage brother. But after watching him interact with others, I realized quickly he was likely the same as he had been 27 years ago. He was childish in that teenage boy douchebag manner. He spoke to my brother as if he was stupid. In fact, he talked to everyone as if they where stupid, but spoke to me as if I was an angel. I knew this game and wasn't going to play it. I talked about how my mom was doing, and a little about my childhood. I asked if he had more questions, he could have my number. He acted thrilled, because he had 'so many questions.'
Every weekend for two months I would get a text asking if he could call. I said yes everytime. No call ever came.
I didn't respond to the last 'Can I call you this weekend?' text. I don't have time for that s**t.

Long story short, I gained siblings, grandparents and aunts but no dad. I had one anyway, so no loss there.

karriwitchet Report

Final score:

61points

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The Thing 1 year ago

♥

12points

#15

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like Not me, but my wife.

Overall, it went about as well as she could reasonably have hoped. She only met her mom, the "worst" part was that the waitress came to take our orders, and her bio-mom just blurted out the whole situation to the waitress, which made my wife (and the poor waitress) very uncomfortable.

Other than that, it was "okay". No real resentment, and my wife walked away thinking the adoption was probably for the best. She does get along well with her siblings, the mom is a friend on facebook, but it was just the one meeting (geography isn't the *only* factor, but probably the biggest one).

teke367 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

52points

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The Thing 1 year ago

Adoption is a great way to give a kid a loving family. Glad your wife is happy.

13points

#16

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like My mom was adopted. She didn't meet her bio parents until she was an adult. I think the initial meeting went pretty well, but ultimately none of them are in contact with each other now because they don't like one anther, but they gave it a good go and now they know what's up.

ooglecat , Jonathan Borba Report

Final score:

49points

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Liz Gallagher 1 year ago

I met my bio mother as an adult and we have had a sporadic relationship over the years. She's not really my sort of person and I don't think I'm her type either. There's no anger or resentment on my part - I had an amazing adoption - but it was a big relief when contacted ended about 8 years ago.

29points

chopsthedrummer , SHVETS production Report

#17

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I am currently 21, met my birth mom last year. my “real” parents never hid the fact that I was adopted, I've known for years.

We met in NYC, it was her first time on the east coast, and since I’ve grown up on the east coast my entire life, I gave them a tour of the city and we both got tattoos together from a gumball machine! Fun time.

I was so nervous to actually meet her and was a little awkward at first, but only for like half an hour, until I realized just how similar we really are. It’s crazy that no matter what conditions you’ve grown up in, your genetics really do affect what kind of person you become. I think that’s something non-adopted people really don’t think about.

All in all, great experience, I haven’t seen her since she lives in SoCal, but we keep in touch through Instagram/texting often. I love my real parents, I love my birth parents, and I appreciate both of their honesty about why things happened as they did.

If you’re nervous about meeting a birth parent, that’s normal. for me, it was totally worth it and even helped me learn more about myself through watching her. I can’t wait to meet her again someday!

Final score:

44points

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Apina 1 year ago

I never knew my dad and he died when I was 12, so never will, but at age of 17 I went to meet my grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins. It was surreal, these people I never met before, and we didn't even speak same languages, they were just like me! Especially my youngest aunt, we are like sisters, we look same, our personalities are similar and even tiny gestures are identical!!!

6points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

#18

My adoption was arranged during the pregnancy and I was transferred over to my adoptive family soon after my birth. My mom and dad told me I was adopted when I was old enough to understand that concept (between five and six years old), but my interest in that side of my life didn't really come into play until late high school and early college. Just after graduating college, my dad revealed to me that their adoption lawyer slipped the full names of my biological parents during the process and that he remembered them. They both attended my school's veterinary program, so there was a chance I could find pictures of them if I wanted to know their names. I did; I found the pictures and held onto them for four years before taking action.

I tracked them down on Facebook. Names can only get you so far, so I sent messages to the two people who seemed to most closely match what I knew about them (comparing to pictures from the 90s, geography, current jobs, etc.). My biological father responded and was incredibly welcoming. He and my biological mom had a second son three years after me, and then divorced several years after his birth. She has asked to remain anonymous for now, which I fully respect. I email my biological father somewhat routinely and we are in the process of planning our first meet up in the coming months. I text my biological brother just about every day, and we are stoked to meet each other.

While I don't think I will ever consider my biological father my "dad," I think I could see it being similar to an uncle I'm close with. You can't just make the bond between a father and son through blood, but there's enough magnetism there to keep us connected. I already consider my biological a brother, though. He was just so damn excited to hear that he had an older brother, just as much that I was excited to hear I had a younger one. I see us becoming very good friends.

I hold zero resentment towards either my biological parents for the decision they made. I think they made the right call, as at the time they were loaded with student debt and hadn't even taken the exams to qualify them for the careers they were studying for. There was a ton of uncertainty in their lives and they wanted me to have the best shot, and by all accounts I have had a very good life so far. Of course I would hope that my biological mother would come around and talk to me at some point, but if she doesn't, I understand. I can't even imagine the mix of emotions she probably experienced when my biological father told him that I had made contact.

MacAttack2015 Report

Final score:

41points

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The Thing 1 year ago

😁

4points

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#19

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like not me but my best friend growing up, she was eager to meet her dad when she learned he still lived in our same town, she met him and said it was like meeting any random adult, nothing particularly special, she still likes she was able to connect and still ocasionally meet with him.

marekelu , charlesdeluvio Report

Final score:

41points

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago (edited)

It’s good that she’s happy. That’s the most important thing.

6points

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#20

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I was adopted/raised by my grandparents. I was told this far back as I can remember. My mom and I had a good relationship growing up, she was in the military and moving around a bit, but we'd see each other at least 2x a year if not more depending.

rushaz , Imprensa AgruBan® Report

Final score:

36points

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The Thing 1 year ago

♥

4points

#21

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like Met my Bio mom last year. She was a senior in high school when she had me. I was her only child. It was a bit awkward at first but we shared stories and pictures. We exchange texts and send cards for Birthdays etc. I have a great family and wasn't looking for a Mom. We are more like friends. I found we have a lot of the same personality traits.
Hoping to met up with my Bio Dad this spring. Bio Dad has 3 children. They ,my half siblings, haven't reached out to me. I'm ok with that as I probably shook them up when I popped up on their family tree on 23 and Me.

MNConcerto , Kindel Media Report

Final score:

34points

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The Thing 1 year ago

♥

3points

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#22

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I was adopted at birth and met my biological mother the day before my 18th birthday. We have a good relationship but not close (she is east coast I am south coast). We talk several times throughout the year and are planning a trip this summer. We have a blast when we get together but have led very, very different lives. She is career focused and while I work, I'm family focused. I was born when she was 17 and I had my first at 18.

I never met my biological father. He was about 29ish when I was born. He was an alcoholic then and I'm pretty sure that's the way he died. After years of searching, my ex found his death certificate 2 years after he passed. I wish I had a chance to tell him that I'm ok and I'm grateful he did the adoption.

sendtacos , LinkedIn Sales Solutions Report

Final score:

31points

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Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago

He was an adult pushing 30 who had sex with a 16 to 17 year old. Sorry OP, but your daddy was not any kind of good guy.

26points

#23

I met my bio mom about 6 years ago. We were just alike. Like it was insane. We both wore chokers all the time, changed our hair color, had the same type of walk, and both had purple hearing aids. I look just like her too. She struggled with addiction and died a few months ago. I had to set healthy boundaries but it was tough. I miss her though. It's been hard.

The first time I met her she was in the hospital. My bio gramma picked me up and we went to the store. I grabbed an "Its a girl balloon." I was so nervous. When I walked into the room I saw someone who was just as nervous as me, and we hit it off really well.

I know who my dad is but have no desire to have a relationship with him. And he feels the same.

BlushingBoba Report

Final score:

30points

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Insono 1 year ago

The balloon thing was really funny, great ice breaker too I imagine!

5points

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#24

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I was adopted when I was 6 days old, I've meet my biological mom, she was 19nwhen she had me. For my biological dad he came from Jordan and told my bio mom a different name, so I've never meet him. The US government doesn't know he is, or they don't want to tell me.

turkey221 , Solen Feyissa Report

Final score:

27points

POST

The Thing 1 year ago (edited)

♥

1point

#25

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like When I was six I realized I had an extra grandma. My mom explained that my dad had adopted me, and my biological father was someone else. I said “I have two dads?” Mom pointed to Dad and said, “*This* is your dad. The other man is your biological father.”

“What does biological mean?”

“It means ... the man who helped make you. Everyone has one.”

So naturally I just assumed everyone had a secret dad. I remember pitying my friends at school and wondering when they would find out about theirs.

I insisted on meeting him, but when I did I was unpleasantly surprised. He scared me. He’s a little guy - short and heroin thin - but he has a voice for radio. It doesn’t match him. When he opened his mouth and this big booming voice came out, I thought it was a trick. I figured there must be a big guy hiding somewhere and doing the talking.

That’s of course just my little-kid brain’s response to his physical appearance and voice. Our relationship isn’t good but I don’t mean to correlate the two, it’s just coincidence.

britaww , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

26points

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The Thing 1 year ago

I never considered my dad as my dad. He was just the monster that lived in my mom's house.

12points

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#26

Some what related. My mom was adopted as a baby. A few years ago, she did a DNA test and was able to connect with a second cousin. The second cousin was able to give her information about her birth mother, but also said he was not close to that side of the family.

My mom did a little research and discovered that her biological mother died in 2005. But, she had a daughter. My mom sent a letter to the daughter letting her know that she (my mom) was adopted as a baby and she had some questions if the daughter was willing to answer them. She also said she understood if the daughter did not want to speak with her.

The daughter really didn't have much to say. I think it was shocking to her. She mentioned that there's an aunt who's alive out west, but not to contact her under any circumstances. She said the aunt is private. The daughter did reveal that *she* was adopted by my mom's biological mother.

My uncle was also adopted. His biology dad slept around and he's connected with quite a number of half siblings. His bio mother is still alive. He reached out to her and she outright rejected him. Told him not to contact her, leave her alone, do not speak to her. He took it badly.

Bells87 Report

Final score:

24points

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The Thing 1 year ago

Wow

3points

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#27

My aunt was adopted, so was her sister (different sets of bio parents). My aunt reached out to her bio mom in her mid 30s. Bio mom agreed to meet her and told her that she's not regretting her decision, glad she made that choice, given how my aunt turned out and to not contact never ever her again.

My aunt has a successful career, a nice husband and a beautiful daughter...
She took it really hard, she's now approaching her 50s and she never got over that statement.

Aunt's sister never tried to contact her parents, out of fear that the same will happen to her.

happyless_ Report

Final score:

23points

POST

The Thing 1 year ago (edited)

I'm so sorry, that's terrible.

10points

GinaMariaSpaghetti , Hollie Santos Report

#28

30 People Who Finally Met Their Biological Parents Share What It Was Like I'm adopted, as well. Met my birth mom at 39: there's a long "Jerry Springer-type" story that I won't go into here, but one thing I learned is that most moms are really okay learning that we ended up in better circumstances. As a mom, myself, all I've ever wanted for my kids is their happiness and success, however they define it. If you get the chance, feel free to express that. It may hurt her a little, but it will also likely relieve the burden of guilt she carries.

My adoption wasn't a good one - abusive adoptive mom - so I didn't have a good outcome to report, but my birth mom desperately wanted to know that my life turned out better than she could have provided.

Just think about it.

Final score:

23points

POST

Monday 1 year ago

Can you imagine giving up your child because you want them to have a better life than you can provide, only for them to end up in an abusive household? That has got to suck. You did the right thing, but the result was awful.

30points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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#29

I did, when I was 36. Father was dead, died in the 1970s. Met mother, it went very well. Learned a lot and stayed in regular touch until she died a few years ago.

goaheaditwontbreak Report

Final score:

22points

POST

The Thing 1 year ago

♥

0points

#30

The first time I met my b-mother(biological mother) was at some music festival between 6 and 12 years of age. I didn't know there was an arrangement between my adoptive parents and b-mother where they agreed she was supposed to stay away from me until I turned 18.

On my 18th birthday b-mother called the house and asked if my parents were there. I handed the phone to them, they then handed the phone back to me and introduced me to my b-mother. A week later I truly met her for the first time. Not long after that I met at my b-father.

My first meeting with my mother went well. Her and my two younger half-siblings (16F and 12M if I remember correctly) showed up at my place and we had pizza before walking around town. They left after 3 hours of greet/meet and later that night we arranged meetings for every 3 months until my b-mother's drinking drove me away.

My b-father and I met at a small cafe six months after my a-father(adoptive father) committed suicide. After eating a brunch with him and my a-mother(adoptive mother) I stayed at his place for the weekend. We try to see each other five or six times a year although last year we were only able to get together once. That weekend was spent drinking and smoking, meeting other relatives from his side of the family, and was the most like an adult I have ever felt. He and my b-grandfather(biological grandfather) quickly rose to the top of the most cynical, generous, and hard-working individuals I have ever met and while my b-grandfather died I still keep in touch with my b-father.

Bennettizen Report

Final score:

19points

POST

The Thing 1 year ago

♥

0points

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#31

Yes! I was adopted at 6 days (pre-planned adoption during pregnancy) and grew up always knowing I was adopted but only have a couple photos of them and their first names/general backstories (teenage mother who had just aged out of foster care, second child with a different father, etc.).

My birthfather reached out to me through the agency when I was 17, had to get my parents' permission to speak to me. Of course they gave him permission. We emailed back and forth for a while and he helped me find my birth mother's facebook. They had loooong since split and moved to opposite ends of the country with their respective families. I still haven't met my mother (I'm 24 now), she's a bit more complicated, albeit a sweet woman when we have spoken over FB and email. But I did meet my birthfather once when I was 20. He was visiting family near where I was from.

His wife knows about me and supported him in finding me but his children didn't know because they were too young at the time for him to explain who I am so his wife stayed with them at the hotel while he met up with my parents and I for breakfast. He was really nervous, shaking and fidgeting with tissues in his pocket. Turns out he's just a really great guy. Super loving parent and expressed the utmost respect for myself and my family. He was so happy to see how well I turned out (patting myself on the back), which I think helped him feel justified in his decision. We had a nice time, took a walk after, captured a few photos of us all together, and that was it.

We stay in touch lightly, small messages on birthdays and holidays mostly. Haven't been able to meet up again since but hopefully in the future. I'm happy to keep the contact pleasant and fairly minimal. Having seen what happened in my sister's case, this is much easier.

dustwillsettle Report

Final score:

8points

POST

The Thing 1 year ago

♥

0points

#32

I've always known mine. My biological dad doesnt talk to me even tho we see each other a lot and my bio mom thinks im a huge disappointment and is very vocal about it sometimes

_whitewhitebread_ Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Denise VanBuren 1 year ago

I'm sorry. That sounds difficult.

3points

#33

Yes and no? Me and my siblings have been adopted twice .. but anyways fast forward to 21. My oldest brother who remembered our biological dad that we share, found a article with his picture apparently he was shot and killed in a disagreement at the Gas station. It’s messed up but instead of being sad it sparked and idea that his death certificate could be the answer to finding our biological mom who’s name we were not sure of just knew everyone called her Nora. After some digging right on the bottom of some sketchy credit report I found online was the name Nora with her last name and a marriage date the same year I was born. We all 6 searched her on Facebook and bc our 2 oldest had best memory of what she looked like we able to find her in about 10 mins. We also found our youngest brother. She flew from Texas to Florida to meet us the following weekend. We found out we had 2 more sisters but one was adopted. Overall she was nice ...as a person I guess but it was awkward there was no crying and it just felt like talking to a random stranger. She told us we were taken because she was young and to into drugs along with being in and out of jail. Also learned that the middle 4 siblings were me and my oldest brothers dad’s step brother. Guess she had a thing for the step brothers. They both are not alive anymore. And she well idk I just try to put into perspective that she was 15 with her first baby and by 22 had 6 children .... it’s pretty crazy to me the whole thing. My grandmother should have been more involved in my mother’s life. my sisters and I don’t really keep up with her but Were not mean to her either she just sorta sits in our “friends on Facebook” list as for my brothers though I’m happy for them seems like a void was filled and she has a grown a great relationship with them.

antidoterhich Report

Final score:

6points

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A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

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Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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What do you think ?

POST

Lakota Wolf 1 year ago (edited)

I was adopted at birth. I was my bio mother's third child, and she had pretty bad substance abuse issues (drugs AND alcohol) and was well below the poverty line. From what I've heard, at least one of my biological sisters has followed suit (7 kids, all with different dads, substance abuse issues, addiction, been in jail for meth use/possession.) I've spoken with my bio sister once when I was 11 or 12, whereupon she told me my supposed bio father had unalived himself. I'm 41 now and I've never been able to bring myself to get into full contact with my bio mom or sisters. What am I going to tell them? That I've had a great life of middle-class pleasures in Southern California? That I can afford to devote myself to my pets? That my adoptive dad was great, but my adoptive mom is a toxic, abusive narcissist? That I have the same mental illness issues my bio mom has? I don't even know where to start. I feel ashamed even talking about the comparatively good life I've had.

10points

VonBlade 1 year ago

Don't be ashamed for things out of your control. You didn't pick your adoptive parents, nor your bio ones issues. You can only control how you are, and you're great.

9points

ƒιѕн 1 year ago

I was adopted at 13 days old. In my teen years I was rebellious and wanted to find my biological parents, drama ensued,. Long story short, when I grew older and lost my dad, I realized I was with my real parents the entire time.

8points

Old Roadie 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Joss 1 year ago

I found my bio Grandma and my dad's half siblings when I was 39 and my dad was in his early '60s. We now have a whole other part of the family and my dad has gotten to experience having people he is biologically related to who aren't his children. Visits have been made both directions and they talk all the time.

2points

FABULOUS1 1 year ago (edited)

Many years ago I signed my rights over for three of my daughters. They were taken do to my drug use, and had done programs to get clean and was doing good until my sister died. Two girls lived with one family who had a lot of other kids and youngest was with a single woman that I had known who was fostering her. I guess all of them got together on how they could keep the girls. I was told that the county had no intentions on ever giving me the girls back, but if I signed over my rights they would be safe and i would always get to see them. I did and I never got to see them again. Well fast fwd some 15+ years and my youngest finds me, we meet, she lives close and we all spend a lot of time together. The other two lived with the same family and I came in contact with one in the past two years. Things seemed to be going fine, then she texted me one day and told me she will never forgive me, love me and I will never be her mother. I understand her anger.

2points

Lsai Aeon 1 year ago

whoooo boy where do I start? I was adopted at birth. From the earliest I can remember to the day my adoptive mother died last year she introduced me "This is Lsai, she's adopted" NEVER claimed me as her daughter. She controlled every aspect of my life for as long as she could, lying to and manipulating everyone around me making them believe I was stupid and a liar myself. I never got birthday parties, she would get presents as would other family members, and a cake/ice cream, then claim we couldn't have a birthday party for me because some member of the family wasn't there. The cake and ice cream would go in the trash and she would return all presents to the store and keep the money. Told me on a weekly basis that my life would have been so much better if I was a boy. Anything I wanted, learning musical instruments, sports whatever "I'm not wasting my money on that for you" I've been sick my whole life, my grandfather was a Shriner simply for his grand kids to get medical care...

2points

Lsai Aeon 1 year ago

I was only taken to the doctor for childhood vaccines. 27 years later we discover I am celiac and it's been active my whole life. 43 years out (last year) and I find out I have birth defects in almost every vertebra that could have been fixed when I was tiny. But no, mom would tell me to rub more dirt on it and walk it off and if I complained she would give me something to complain about. Constantly rebuking me with "You're perfectly fine, there's nothing wrong with you, you're faking to get attention" I'm in a wheelchair and in constant excruciating pain because of her. I never wished ill on her but WHY adopt a girl when you wanted a boy so bad you abused the girl you got? WHY not tell the agency you want a boy? She was ecstatic when my son was born, the boy she never got, and treated him like her own son while telling me I was raising him wrong. Of course, I was raising him wrong, I was raising him the exact opposite of how she raised me. I'll shut up now

5points

David Fox 1 year ago

I was adopted, got kicked out at 16...'lovely'. I somehow managed to find my biological sister and learnt some awful facts .....that turned out to be lies. The only truth was my biological brother did a hideous crime again a young girl (r@pe and murder). She won't tell me anything relating to my biological family and ended up giving me grief over it. She ended up blocking me, blocking my number and erasing me. At least my daughter got free sh*t from her.

1point

carol bland 5 months ago

I gave my first born baby boy up for adoption because my fiancé wanted me to abort and I wouldn't - so he left. I was single, unemployed and homeless. I had a baby and nothing he needed, so I gave my baby to a married couple who had everything except a baby. But he is their son, not mine. I gave him to them. I want to know that I was right. That he's had a wonderful life with loving parents. But I will never intrude. I don't have the right. I can only hope that one day he contacts me. I sent him a letter with my details to his adoption file. If he ever asks who I am - he can find me. But he has to ask, I won't go looking - I gave him to his parents.

0points

Alecto76 1 year ago

Sorry, short continue. I had to tell my new sister that mom doesn't want contact. I felt awful. But I still intend to keep up the relationship and I've told her I wholly accept her as a sister. I'm also disappointed. I naively was hoping it would all work out and be a happy family.

0points

Alecto76 1 year ago

I have had a wonderful but difficult time with this issue. I was not adopted. But at 46 I was contacted by one of the two sisters I didn't know about. My mom had over 10 years before me as a teen and gave them up for adoption. One of my sisters contacted me. My mom never told me and sources said she was bitterly angry. So for a year, my new sister and I talk several times a week over FB and almost weekly calls. I'm super happy to meet her and we are very similar. I'm going to visit her and her family soon. I haven't reached out to the other sister, it's a lot so one at a time. So a couple weeks ago, I have a difficult conversation with my mom who explained what happened (forced to put them up) and her extreme anger at everyone. Things are good between us. But she doesn't want contact. She doesn't want me to have contact, but I'm an adult, blah blah. She knows I'm going to be friends with her (maybe them).

0points

Squiffle Noses 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

HoRace 1 year ago

Please use the phrase “placed for adoption” when talking about adoption, and don’t use “given up for adoption” or some variant. The “given up” phrase is very negative and not representative of process. It is not an easy choice to place a child for adoption, and it comes from a place of love and wanting better for your child than you can provide. I am very grateful to the 2 women who were strong enough to make that decision, so my wife & I could have a family of our own.

-1point

POST

Lakota Wolf 1 year ago (edited)

10points

VonBlade 1 year ago

Don't be ashamed for things out of your control. You didn't pick your adoptive parents, nor your bio ones issues. You can only control how you are, and you're great.

9points

ƒιѕн 1 year ago

8points

Old Roadie 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Joss 1 year ago

2points

FABULOUS1 1 year ago (edited)

2points

Lsai Aeon 1 year ago

2points

Lsai Aeon 1 year ago

5points