Resurrection: Fourteen years ago, I laid on my prison cell floor pregnant with my daughter and I cried out to God. My prayer was sincere and desperate. I cried out, “God I don’t know if you listen to people like me but if you do please help me!” After 83 arrest, 66 convictions, 19 years of drug addiction, prostitution, homelessness, and diagnosed mental illness, I felt hopeless, helpless and dead inside. I tried everything else but God, so here I was trying God, sincerely seeking him. He heard my cries. Since that desperate cry, I have not desired or used drugs or even smoked a cigarette. What he has done for me and through me shows the true healing, delivering power of our true, living God. Our Savior! Our redeemer! Our Healer! Our Deliverer! Today marks my 14th year of freedom. Who the son sets free is free indeed. Father God, I celebrate you. I thank you! I honor and worship you for being The Creator! The First and the Last. The Alpha and Omega! Glory to you alone. Thank you for the blood of our Savior Jesus who has set me free!

I grew up in a christian household. I had two amazing parents who worked their butts off to spoil my siblings and I. I attended church every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. I was a great basketball player. God and basketball were all I cared about until something else took over.

Drugs made me somebody I’m not. I tried things I never would have tried sober. I am the type of addict that would take something and then ask you what it was. I didn’t care what it was, as long as it would take me away from myself and outside my thoughts. I wanted it. I was the type of addict that was so embarrassed of my addiction, I’d be nodding out right in front of you but swear I’m just tired.

Today is October 2nd 2019 and I am 8 months 17 days sober. I am almost 20 years old and 9 months ago I thought I would never be happy or be loved. I thought I’d be better off dead. Now, I have awesome doctors who are aware of my addiction and help to prescribe mood stabilizers that help with my bipolar, anxiety and depression as well as a sleep medication that helps me get through the night without nightmares or flashbacks. I have 2 therapists; one for mental illness and one for substance abuse. I lived in a recovery house for 6 months and I recently moved back in with my family. I get to work with kids everyday. I finally saved enough to get my car when I got 7 months. I am in a happy relationship with a man who is patient and understanding and never shames me for my past. I still struggle intimately due to trauma but I can honestly say that I am happy. I am so incredibly blessed and lucky. I would not have the life I have today had I not surrendered that night. I could/should be dead right now. It’s been too close too many times, but God is watching over me and has a bigger plan for my life

"What's up champ I'm on Guy Brewer, how much do you need?" I sit and pause for a moment. My nose is running, my stomach is churning, and my bones are aching for a bundle of heroin. The question hits me again? How much do I need? Here's what I need. I need one bundle of low-esteem. I need ten years of pain. I need to be so dishonest that I can no longer decipher the true from the false. I need to hate my life everyday. I need to dread the next day because I know tomorrow I'll be forced to do it all over again. I need to be degraded, and embarrassed. I need to spend everyday worrying about being dope sick and forget about what real life is. I need a decade worth of getting my mother's hopes up just to tear them down. I need 3,650 days of being estranged from my family. I need 28 failed treatment attempts. I need homelessness, and dereliction. I need to spend Christmas year after year in a train station. I need 7 overdoses and 7 emergency rooms to walk right out of. I need the stigma of addiction to make me settle in life. I need to be riddled with fear in every fiber of my being. I NEED TO LOSE EVERYTHING. Boobie pauses for a second and says, "Yeah champ I got that for you, it's 75 a bundle but it's fire today." I try to tell him I don't want it, but all that comes out my mouth is, "I'm on my way."

The picture on the left is me 11 months ago. On the right is me today. Last November I ended up in ER from a combination of opioids and alcohol. I was told I was lucky I didn’t have a stroke. Three days after getting out of the ER, I checked myself into a treatment center. I spent 21 days there only to relapse a month later. 6 weeks later, I checked myself back in the same treatment center. This time it was different — in a good way. I spent another 21 days there. When I got out, I did not go back home. My wife was not ready for me to come back. Who could blame her? About 3 weeks later, it was Easter morning. I had just got into my car to go to church and I just started weeping out loud. All my pain, hurt, and suffering I had been going through was gone. Not only that, my desire to use was gone too. I’m still in a long-term treatment program. I call it my good medicine. Since the end of March, I also got on a exercise program. I’ve lost 70 pounds. Last month I ran a half marathon. Not bad for a 64 year old. I was on 200 mg of high pressure medicine, I’m on none now. I was on cholesterol meds, not any more. I was on depression medication just over 20 years. Now I am on nothing. I just live healthy and pray. God will give you the strength and endurance to get you through your recovery.

I grew up loving God and singing in church. Drugs do not discriminate and the picture below is the end result of IV crystal meth addiction. MRSA attacked my bloodstream, my lungs, and the tricuspid valve inside my heart. It took 7 weeks of antibiotics through a PICC line and me being stuck in a hospital bed for me to wake up. It took open heart surgery for me to be ready to listen. Only by the grace of God was I able to make it out. The picture on the right is of me now. My life is so different today in recovery, and I finally know what happiness is. So I’m here to tell you, that if you’re in recovery and you’re running away from your old life, RUN HARDER. If you’re trying to get clean, TRY HARDER. If you feel like you’ll never be able to do it, remind yourself of my story. THIS CAN AND WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. There is a way out, please take it!

Hello! My name is Lena, I’m 17 years old and from Denmark.
When I was 14 I got some prescription drugs from my psychiatrist.
I soon learned that if you took a little more it would feel good. I often took more than I should and when I was 15 I was hospitalized for the first time. After the first real overdose, I became addicted to taking prescription drugs like benzodiazepines. I was driven to the hospital every two weeks because I had taken pills.
When my psychiatrist found out that I was abusing the drugs she gave me, she took them away from me. I couldn’t handle it, so I went out and bought them from a drug dealer. I took them every day, but then my sister gave birth to her first daughter. I finally had a reason to quit and be a role model.
Now I’m 120 days clean and I feel way better!

The picture on the left was taken during active addiction right after I had been picked up from jail where I hadn’t slept for a week. I was hallucinating and confused. I thought I was having a conversation with my 1-year-old daughter who I hadn’t seen in months and didn’t even know what year it was. The picture on the right is a year later after coming home from a 12-month program I attended. September 29th, 2017 was officially the last day that I put dope in my body. It has been 2 years and now and I finally have the ability to know what it means to be a good father! My fiancée, Brandy Venable, who was also an addict went into a 12-month program as well and now she is also 2 years sober! Now our family is back together under one roof and stronger than ever! There is not often a lot of hope for addict couples to go from active addiction to a fully functioning healthy trusting and loving relationship. In our case, it worked! I didn’t do this on my own. I did it with the fellowship and my God. I hope this gives some of you hope. We can and DO Recover!

For years Tara lived on the street due to her addiction. Today she helps addicts overcome their own addictions as a counselor. Clean since 5/06/16. Share if you believe in miracles

“On the left I’m nodding out on heroin. On the right I’m rocking out in my recovery. And today, I have one year clean.”
-Charles IL 37 y/o

I share my story of alcoholism because there are people still suffering who need to know a life of sobriety exists. There are people right now desperate for an escape from the vicious and crippling grip of addiction. I was one of them. We are around you more than you think. We are your brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends, and colleagues.


I just want you all to know that recovery is possible and that there is freedom from addiction. Starting over is possible. It’s not easy by any means. You have to WANT to change. You have to want it for yourself and be relentless in your pursuit of peace.


I was fired from a job because of my drinking.
That didn’t stop me.


I allowed people who showed me the purest form of love walk out of my life because of my drinking.
That didn’t stop me.


In the hospital 2 years ago, doctors told me I wouldn’t make it past the age of 30 if I kept drinking recklessly. My body was shutting down. I was slowly killing myself. I had to have multiple blood transfusions because my blood count was so low and depleted. I had a feeding tube inserted down my throat because I had started throwing up blood and doctors were afraid I might die from internal bleeding.
That wasn’t enough to stop me.


A DUI wasn’t enough to stop me. The judge gave me 20 days in jail because I had well over a 0.40% BAC.


I remember in jail there was a correction officer I went to high school with who gave me a PB&J sandwich and then looked at me and said:
“Richie, I could’ve never pictured you in jail. You were our class president....Aren’t you suppose to be changing the world or something?”


That night in jail I cried all night on the top bunk in a basement surrounded by dozens of other inmates. I was deeply ashamed and overcome with this piercing sadness. It felt like my life was no longer mines. The vibrancy and passion that I once had was no longer there. I was living a life with no purpose. I was in this deep, dark pit at the mercy of a destructive substance.


I put my family and loved ones through unimaginable trauma and despair. I didn’t deserve the unyielding support and love they gave me when I had nothing to give them in return. They never gave up on me and it was a loyalty and love that helped form the powerful catalyst needed for a change to occur in my life.


The memories of the past will never leave me. They serve as a glaring reminder of how powerless I truly was, and it is a part of my story where I found within me a type of strength I never thought I had. With the help of God, my family, and an incredible support system I sought out, I picked up the shattered fragments of my life and learned how to hold my head up high again.


I feel the glory of a victorious survivor.

Today makes two years sober from injecting heroin. My drug use got so bad, I ended up getting cellulitis on both my legs. They are still healing, but they are coming along.
I kept shooting up in my legs because I really didn’t care about my own well-being. I walked around the streets smelling like rotting flesh.
I was living with my uncle who was using as well, because of me. I was living a careless life. My house was infested with bed bugs but the drugs were the only thing that mattered to me.
One morning, I woke up and my uncle was dead. My family said they weren’t taking me in. My partner said the exact same thing.
I’ve lived on the streets before. Spring had just began so I could’ve easily done that. But something was different. This time, I made a decision to finally get my life together.
I took the bus to the hospital. When I got there, the nurse asked me how I even made it there. I told her the city bus. She said she was shocked because with the condition I was in, I should be dead. I weighed 120 pounds when I got to the hospital.
So here I am today, fifty pounds heavier and with two years sober. I am living with my partner of almost 16 years. I have four fur babies, a job and I pay my own rent. I’m living and loving life right now. Thank you Lord for this umpteenth chance. Clearly you weren’t ready for me yet.

One year ago I was lost, but now I am found. Don’t give up. Keep fighting.

I couldn’t stop shooting heroin to save my life. To be honest I had been failing for so long I didn’t even want to live anymore. My mom wasn’t going to settle for that. The first picture of me is when my mom tracked me down and dragged me out of a dope house. As you can see I wasn’t too happy about it. I celebrated 18 months this past January. This is the longest I’ve ever been sober in my life. Thanks for always having my back Mom.

Tomorrow my husband and I are seven years clean! We went from making and using meth to being completely clean! We even got custody of his kid. My husband is an inspector over a pipeline company. We’re now in a place where we’re at peace in our lives. We’ve paid off our house and own three vehicles. To some, that’s not a big deal. To us, it’s a miracle.

Hello everyone, my name is Riordan. I am a recovering heroin addict and I have one year clean today. I just want you to see that it’s possible to beat this thing. Thank you.

3 Years Clean!


3 years ago I overdosed behind the wheel, and crashed into a stop sign in downtown Miami. The police found me unresponsive. I have played this scenario out in my head hundreds of times since. It was some kind of Divine Intervention that I survived the OD, and that no one else was killed or injured in the process. It wasn’t my time to go.


My son had just celebrated his 1st birthday a few weeks prior, and the pain of being “Me” was visceral. I was finally ready to do whatever it took to stay clean.


3 years later, taking care of my boy and our little family is my greatest gift! I will go to the ends of the Earth for Anthony. I will eventually educate him about addiction, and that it runs in the family. When he comes of age, there will be no secrets. I will not brush the uncomfortable topics under the rug. He will always have free will, but he will be real-world educated for sure.


I share my mugshot because it’s my story. I thank God for those cuffs, they provided me a start. And I share most importantly because, if you are struggling, here is some proof that RECOVERY IS REAL!

“Hey what’s up my name is Rob. I started getting high when I was 15. I was addicted to heroin, alcohol, and Xanax. In December of 2016 I got sober at the age of 27. Next month I turn 30. Getting clean was the best thing I ever did.”

My name is Corey and I’m an addict. I’m 28 years old and I’m from Louisville, Kentucky. I have struggled with my addiction from a pretty early age. I seemed to enjoy the effects produced by adderall at the age of 8 years olds, which would only progress to a very dark meth and heroin addiction in my later years. I’ve been hospitalized countless times, been to jail, and lived in hell — literally. I COULD NOT STOP chasing dope for one hour, let alone entertain the thought of going to a detox program. I dragged my family and everyone I loved down with me. Today, I have 61 days free from all mood and mind altering substances. I can finally see a light at the end of my madness with the help of a sponsor and meetings. My record is in the process of being expunged and I’ve started Hep C treatment as a result of that way of life. I’m so grateful and hope this will help anyone still struggling!

My name is Luke and I’m an addict. My addiction started at the age of 13 when I found out my father was a heroin addict. He died when I was 14 from an overdose and that shook my entire world. I began smoking weed every day because I thought that would heal my pain but of course, it didn’t. In the end, it only lead me down a more dangerous road with harder drugs and worse consequences. After 4 rehabs and multiple hospitalizations, I am sober today at the age of 17. Recovery has given me so much. My family and I are all together again. It took time but after these past few rough years, we all continue to heal from the wreckage of addiction. I couldn’t be more grateful.

I am a recovering addict, and raging alcoholic. 4 years 3 months sober, 1,563 days of nothing but good times and bad, went through a heck of a time on my road the last few years and the last year.. I have hurt others and myself with my past choices, even after I decided to get sober I still had some upsetting times and things I wish could have been better. But I am here, I am standing and I am breathing and I am coming for my future with arms wide open.

My name is Kyle, and I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. Not really sure what to say except for the fact that I'm alive today is a miracle. My destructive behaviors started around the age of 15. With the usual high school parties I smoked weed, popped pills, and drank. I tried cocaine and around that time I experimented with percocet. At the age of 16 I received two surgeries, both times walking away with a prescription for percocet and vicodin. At the age of 18, my family relocated from South Florida to Philadelphia. I began working in Delaware County (Suburbs of Philly). I became a volunteer Firefighter and went to school for EMS training. I did relatively well for the next few years. Although I was run over by a car in Philadelphia, my Father was diagnosed with cancer, and my brother passed away from his injuries sustained in the Iraq war. So that was my turning point. In January of 2012 after my brother passed I started using heroin to cover up my feelings and because well I was already hooked on opioid pain pills. In April of 2012, while my girlfriend was pregnant with my first son, I received my first intervention and was introduced into my first rehab. After a 5 day detox, I left AMA. I began a vicious cycle of rehabs, jails, and institutions. 22 rehabs including detoxes, 7 jail stays later and being homeless many nights on the streets of Kensington in Philadelphia eventually led me to a bottom I never thought I would see. I lost many friends and a girlfriend who I was madly in love with. My clean date is now September 8th 2018. I have a little over a year clean and sober. I have my son back in my life. I have a mother who I can finally talk to and I have my brother with a couple nieces and nephews that I love more then anything in the world. God has certainly given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. I'm now a home remodelling contractor who is licensed and insured and life is only getting better with days passing.

Monday mornings are generally the worst time of the week. Let’s change that right now. Meet Camron Childs a 19 year old from Portland Oregon. Camron struggled with heroin and crystal meth for the last 6 years. Today, he has 130 days sober.

My name is Merissa and I’m an addict. I was once told I would never get custody of my children back from the state. I couldn’t accept that so I fought and I fought hard. I fought so hard that miracles happened. I transformed from a junkie to a mother in recovery. I got custody of my children again. I’ve been homeless. I’ve been revived with narcan, and I’ve been in jail as a result of my addiction. But that was the old me. Today, I have 2 1/2 years sober. We do recover.

From a very young age, I was sexually abused, and surrounded by domestic violence. Throughout my childhood, I witnessed alcohol and drug abuse. In my teens, I began drinking and falling into bad relationships. For years I moved from home to home. I’ve been raped, bullied, and abused. I was sectioned in a psych hospital for 3 months after having a breakdown. I had to live in a safe house after being attacked and for ten months I fought to get my children back due to my struggles with mental health.
I never gave up. I worked on myself bit by bit. I cut out alcohol, cigarettes, bad food, destructive lifestyle, and started to research and practice the power of positive thinking. I used therapy to overcome the very problems that put me into self-destruction mode. I used modeling and fitness to keep me focused and to bring the love back to myself. Today, the war is over. I am super healthy and training to be a life coach and mentor for people with substance abuse and mental health problems. If I can do it so can others.

For years on end I destroyed my body internally and externally with a needle. Meth and heroin. I got involved with the wrong group of people and I continued to spiral out of control. I lived the life with ample amounts of money and all the bad risks that come with it. For years I destroyed everything and everyone around me including family, my children, and the most important one, myself.
It literally took my father coming into the office finding me near death and having me admitted to a rehab in California. I must say this was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Now I am married. My children love me. My parents accept me and I now love and respect myself. Their is hope. Reach out accept the help because we can never do it alone and god knew I couldn’t this. Christmas I will have 4 years clean. Thank you to everyone who believed in us.

Throughout my whole childhood I was rejected by all that I came across from elementary through high school due to having torret syndrome... Before I had ever touched drugs or alcohol I wanted to commit suicide in the early years of high school.
Not to long after graduating I began to use drugs and for me it wasn’t something I did because I just wanted to do it, I did it to escape my reality. And at the time my belief was that I’m no good, I was a mistake, no one loved me and no one wanted to be around me. I was an embarrassment to be around. So I used drugs as much as I could to feel better. As time went on I became so dependent on it that I became a thief to support my habit!!
To get more honest I used not only drugs to feel better but I used sex as a means to cope with the rejection I always felt. I did things with not only women but also men Because all I wanted was to feel loved..
Though 2005 and 2010 I gained multiple felonies from drug possession to grand theft. 2010 was my last arrest and I gave my life in surrender to God in the back of a cop car.. Shortly after my release I found myself using again even after falling so in love Jesus. Why? So I then chose to go to a rehab program where I learned about addiction and finding healing from our past. I finally found some real Recovery and I then stayed clean for 4 years and raising a family. Then all of 2018 I began using again. Why? I stopped doing the things that I was taught in recovery. I took my will back.
So today makes 6 months Clean for me... I am more free today than I was in the 4 years I was clean. I use to hate myself and God for all the relapses and the people I hurt but today I see my pain, my misfortunes and my mistakes and failures as stepping stones that has led me to the place of freedom I have today... God bless you guys and this is my story.. All glory goes to God!

I remember each and every rehab I went to. I can remember every halfway house I was kicked out of. I can remember every time I was locked up. I can remember lying and stealing from the people who loved me the most because I knew they would forgive me. I can remember doing whatever it took to stay high. I can remember, through all the heartache I caused everyone around me, I never claimed to have a problem. I was a victim of circumstance!
I choose to remember all this because I never want to forget what it feels like to be on the bottom of the bottom. I never want to forget where I came from. I never want to live in that denial because I never want to go back!
Today I celebrate 7 years of continuous sobriety. I'm grateful for the good days. I'm grateful for the bad days. And I'm grateful for every person that gave me a chance that I didn’t deserve. I'm grateful to be alive.

“I was an addict, I say was, because I have different beliefs than most. I believe you can be recovered. I have just over 5 years clean. I just want people to know we can recover.”

Hey my name is Amanda and I’m an addict. In 2014 I was in a car accident and prescribed Percocet. This is the beginning of my story but thankfully not the end. For four years my drug of choice was IV cocaine and heroin. Throughout my active addiction I overdosed five times and had to sign over custody of my son to my mother. For many years I was homeless in the streets of Camden New Jersey. Today, I am the happiest recovering addict in the world. I made a wish and it came true. For years I didn’t know my son, but today I have 18 months clean. So good afternoon Facebook, I would like you to meet my son Declan.

1 year. 365 days. 8760 hours. 525,600 minutes. 31,536,000 seconds ago, my life changed FOREVER.
Drug addiction is horrible. I know first hand. But we all, as drug addicts, underestimate the hell out of it. “It won’t ever happen to me,” is what we all think. We’ve read the stories, emotionless, because, “it won’t ever happen to me.” We’ve listened to our loved ones beg us to stop and thought, “it won’t ever happen to me.” We’ve shot up in gas station bathrooms, hit licks, moved dope, and wigged out because, “it won’t ever happen to me” — until it does.
Do you know what happens then? You become a statistic. You become that person who overdosed in a bathroom and an innocent person had to find your lifeless body. You become the boyfriend/father/brother/son who overdosed in a hotel room, in front of people who loved you more than life itself.
Did you want to overdose? OF COURSE NOT! Very few people would actually choose to die from an overdose. Would you have done it if you would have known what would happen? 98% chance, NO.
But here’s the kicker, Garrett snorted ONE fake roxy. It was laced with fentanyl. 365 days ago, our “it won’t ever happened to me” happened to us and it ended in the absolute worst case scenario. We all lost him. To ONE fake pill.
Garrett was Garrett. He knew the ins and outs of the streets and one little blue fake pill fooled him and it cost him his life. If Garrett can become a victim lost to overdose, ANY OF US CAN. It’s not worth it, guys.
Garrett was vibrant. He was funny and sarcastic. He’d give you the shirt off his back and the money in his pocket if you needed it. He was selfless. He loved his kids. He was a genuine, big hearted, attractive GENTLEMAN. He didn’t deserve to die. God, he was the last person who deserved to die that way, but something that we thought could never happen to us, happened.
And it could happen to you too.
So I say this from the bottom of my heart, with everything I have, THESE DRUGS DONT LOVE YOU. GO HOME, YOUR FAMILY IS WAITING!

They say it is RARE that couples who use together are able to get clean and STAY together. The statistics may be low but it is possible. My fiancé and I are living proof!
We met on December 11th, 2014. We were both homeless—injecting Heroin and Methamphetamine. We entered a detox facility on December 26th, 2015. After 5 days of detox, we then were transferred to a residential treatment center TOGETHER! We graduated from that 90-day program, completed an outpatient aftercare program, and then moved into sober living. We are coming up on 4 years of 100% complete sobriety.
I want our story to be an inspiration for all of the addicts who are still suffering. I want you ALL to know that if we can do it you can too. Don't be a statistic, fight and fight HARD. Life is waiting for you!

I was blown out of my mind when this was taken. Heroin and crack was all I knew. I fought myself to have the guts to post this terrible picture, but if it can help someone in active addiction to seek help, then I'll cut my losses. I was about 19 or 20 here. Full blown addiction, homeless, a fiend, a thief, a child, and scared. This was immediately after one of my many close calls with an overdose that I was usually proud of. Today is a little different. Today, I am 15 years clean.

Six years clean today. What started out as a “punishment” and a “curse” has turned into one of the biggest gifts that my God has ever given me. There’s so much to say but I’ll just say this-miracles happen. From the girl that always had a drink or a pipe in her hand (or both!) to a woman who is a productive member of society, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a dog mom, a partner, and so much more... I am grateful today that recovery was accessible when I needed it and didn’t even want it yet. Today I can say I want it and I am surrounded by love everywhere I go. Thank you to all the fellowships, therapists, and people who turned this scared little girl into the woman I am today. I am blessed.

On the left is my mugshot that Fox News was lovely enough to air in 2016. I had been young and successful as a nurse. I bought my first home at 20. A great career. What should have been a life I appreciated. But depression, anxiety, and ultimately drug addiction took hold.
My patients never went without, but neither did I. The monitoring at my work was so poor that I could take as much Dilaudid as I pleased without raising any flags — and I did. I was so dependent on the stuff. I was shooting up multiple times a day just to get by without getting dope sick. I was living a literal nightmare and faking my way through it. I finally got caught. I couldn’t take the publicity of it all. My shame was on TV for god's sake! It was out there for all the world to see and judge. I tried to end it, unsuccessfully.
I went through my trial for a year. I got treatment for addiction and depression, got on the right meds, made it through my house arrest, and began chipping away at my probation. I was even able to keep my nursing license with a 5 year monitoring contract. I’m back to work now. It’s not my ideal job yet, but I’m paying my dues for my mistakes. I’m just grateful for the support of my local nursing community and my friends and family. I’m grateful for my attempt at ending my own life failed. It gets better. It gets easier. 3 years of sobriety for a guy who thought he’d be long dead by now. My mental health is in check too. Everything that looked so hopeless just a short time ago is slowly falling back into place

Today is my two year anniversary of getting sober from heroin. That mugshot was from a time when I truly did not care if I overdosed. I didn’t care that I would be leaving behind my twelve year old daughter. All I cared about was getting more.
When I got arrested that day, I had not showered in almost three weeks. I had not brushed my teeth in even longer, and who knows the last time I had washed my hair. Despite all of that, I was still utterly ashamed to admit I was an addict. I literally never told a soul, for fear of their judgement and pity.
But now I remember where I came from. I remember what the throws of addiction felt like; that cycle of making completely insane things sane and part of everyday life. Now I am proud of how far I’ve come. I’m happy that I didn’t end up like both of my roommates from that time. They have both passed away, one of endocarditis and the other from a sepsis-induced heart attack. Both as a result from using, within four months of each other, and both gone far, far too young.
I am a survivor. I am thriving. I am so grateful and appreciative of where I am today. I took on the world, and it kicked my ass. But my story continues, with an ending that will be a happily ever after.. after all.

I remember always sitting in the same place on the floor at the edge of my bed, day and night, I will never let go of that pipe. Without realising the days, the months, the years will go by. I wanted to believe crystal meth was no longer affecting my body, but I will not sleep, I will be awake up to 5 days. I will moved from one place to another. I couldn’t stay still and I spoke 100 miles per hour. I didn't want anyone to interrupt my world, where only the pipe and I will exist.
But that pipe took so much from me. It took everything. It was a demon that didn't want to let me go. It took 5 years of my life. I was not there when my son took his first steps, nor when he said his first word. I missed 5 Christmases, 5 Mother’s Days, and 5 Father’s Days. I did not attend family gatherings. It stole my soul. It removed my feelings. It blocked my goals and dreams.
I remember so clearly the last time I had a pipe in my hand. It was a morning that I had that terrible accident where I was so close to death, but that accident changed my life. God opened the way for me to get out of that hell and I never went back. That same morning I decide to return home. We were heading home with my father in his white work truck, and I remember so clearly when I took the pipe in my hand and threw it out the window and never saw one again. My life began to change. I started to be part of my son's life. I have seen him grow. Now, I buy gifts for Christmas. I am the one who organizes the celebrations of the year. Now I love family gatherings with good coffee and good long conversations. I recovered my feelings and my soul. I accomplished goals and I have dreams to fulfill. Today I have control of my life. I have 11 years sober. I am drug-free and God changed the end of my story.