This!

‘You’re new here, right? So you should know how everything works and have absolutly zero questions.’

I worked one job for 12 years without a promotion. I KNEW how every manager got the job and skill and experience had very little to do with it. They promoted guys who drank with the boss on weekends. I'm the kind of person who told him what he needed to hear not what he wanted to hear so I never got promoted.

How you like me now?

That's literally the only reason to be there. Edit : typo

Like eating

Worked the same job for 12 years. Never promoted. Quit, bounced around a couple years, started a job a couple years ago and promoted twice in the same year. Really regret wasting a decade working for that prick.

Been there. Showing initiative = more work.

I'm way ahead of you. I already hate the whole month.

That is always a strange feeling of being surprised, impressed & proud

I left one job and forwarded to my personal email all email strings that were not considered proprietary. Stuff went down, I had the receipts, it cost the company some money.

8? in Morning?

Aka come into the office to justify the rent money I need to pay to my rich infrastructure owning friends

I cannot stress how much I hate this. Especially if we are to "share" our experiences or feelings. Hate. This. So. Much.

...and you'll be paid to take it down... and rebuild it again... and the government is paying for it.

I’m adhering to the company policy of “reply all to everything” and my personal policy of “I don’t care if I annoy you”.

I just walked into the bedroom at 5:45 a.m. to ask my husband what day it was. Yay Saturday!

Just cross out "2023" and write "2024" instead. The goals won't be changing, or being met this year either.

Yes, and why not?

Great picture

Sounds like chicken lips has some issues.

Can I not just bribe my way in?

Apocalypse Barbie would have some killer accessories though.

is the monkey small or the caprisun big

Ughhh that feeling of familiar dread :(

Look them in the eye and say " Phyllis! Thank goodness you're here. There's a really messy job that needs doing. Have you got a moment to help me out?" Chances are Phyllis will be in a terrible hurry to do something else somewhere far away.

I could never master this ability, but on a positive note I've learned how to be opinionated with a smile, which helps. No need to be insulting or an a**hole.

Joining at one minute past the start time is the way to go.

Is no one going to mention the loaf of bread pillow

Coffee still helps? so sweet. Lucky you.

No. Collecting them for when I quit.

These corporate slaves are really hated by their families. I'll never understand why they think taking good men away from their wife and kids is a good thing.

When meetings used to serve coffee and cookies, i never mind. Now that everyone all "professional" and "progressive" about it, not even water are served, count me out.

Yeah, where's my hollywood star ? !

On NOO, I can see past the censoring, I’m traumatized for life!

This gives me immense amounts of anxiety as a gamer with a low quality laptop that looks like this xd

I'm basically a professional nag

The all new Hell No Barbie

I got something better: f*****g coworkers that sent an email, then 30 seconds later mention you and the boss in the group chat, acting like the email was sent a month ago.

Anywhere I have worked it is called 'volun-told' there is no asking.

I like this person, sight unseen!

I'm the last person you want filling out an employee survey.

"Start work" or "log in to the laptop"? Not necessarily the same thing in my case

Maybe if you were at your desk working, instead of hovering over my shoulder you'd have seen it come in.

In countries with mandated annual leave, we can just go “I’m taking an annual leave day” and go to the cat cafe.

Been there, done that. My a*****e boss wasn't angry at me like usual, wasn't yelling at me like usual, wasn't insulting me like usual, wasn't punching the white board or the table like usual, he literally looked at me the wrong way on one bad day, i took one deep breath, and marched into his office. Told him i quit.

Be careful what you wish for

Wtf is all hands? What kind of new gimmick these corporate a******s invented, to try tricking fresh grads to put more effort without paying them more??

Clown Barbie?

Again, non-issue in countries with mandated annual leave! For the love of all that is holy, yanks, don’t vote for ässholes in your election this year.