Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
“Kody, But Spells It Chode”: 35 Names That Are Practically Asking For Trouble
Interview With Expert
Before naming our cat, my partner and I debated for weeks about what we should call him. We thought long and hard about what name perfectly suited his personality, made extensive lists, asked friends for their opinions and played around with different options to make sure we chose the perfect one. I can’t even imagine how stressful it is to name a child. But apparently, some parents have no problem choosing names that essentially beg bullies to target their kids.
Redditors have recently been discussing the absolute worst names that children can be given, so we’ve gathered the most egregious ones below. Enjoy scrolling through this list of names that nobody should ever use, and keep reading to find a conversation with naming expert and founder of Namerology.com, Laura Wattenberg!
This post may include affiliate links.
You May Also Like:
#2
Meconium.
She heard nurse say it at the birth and thought it pretty. The definition is "a baby's first stool, usually black and tarry in nature, to dispel mucus and other embryonic matter." 🤦♀️.
To learn a bit more about names and how to choose a great baby name, we got in touch with naming expert, founder of Namerology.com, and author of The Baby Name Wizard, Laura Wattenberg. Laura was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and remind readers that, thankfully, most of the names on this list are simply hypotheticals. "Even most of the claims of, 'I met a kid named…' are urban legends!" she noted.
The expert also says it's important to be empathetic when discussing names. "When it comes to real names, it’s always worth remembering there’s a real child attached. Don’t be too quick to insult a name, even online," she noted. "The child WILL find it, and it will hurt."
#4
Neveah!
Have some f*****g creativity!
“It’S hEaVeN bAcKwArDs.
BRB naming my child Natas.
#5
Foreigner. Given to an impossibly white kid in very rural Oklahoma. He and his brother Journey had strange parents.
#6
I knew a child named, I kid you not, Cl*toris. They pronounced it Klit-ress.
When it comes to bad baby names, Laura says there are two kinds: "names that are not what the parents intended, and names used as a weapon."
"Parents occasionally choose a name not realizing the way it will come across to others. They may not know a word or a cultural reference and are blindsided by people’s reactions," the expert noted. "It can even come down to a matter of spelling, like Analie vs. Anally."
#7
A lady I know named her son Kody, but spells it CHODE.. which means something completely different, imo.😂.
#8
Candida - I know girls with it and I know it is wrong of me but can only think of thrush.
"The rarer case is names chosen maliciously," Laura says. "For instance, I’ve heard of instances of a husband insisting on a particular girl’s name, only for his wife to later discover it was the name of the woman he was having an affair with. Then there was the family that chose Nazi names deliberately to upset people. No child should be used as a weapon."
#10
I was a camp counselor. One of the campers there was a girl named Beanz.
#12
Princess.
Not the absolute worst, but I don’t think I could ever take this person seriously. Please don’t give children names that you give pets.
But the good news is that, even if you truly hate your name, you can always have it changed. "More adults are changing their names than ever before," Laura shared. "Your name is your identity in word form; the way you’re presented to the world. If you honestly believe yours doesn’t represent you well, changing it can be a reasonable choice."
#13
Any name that is an expensive item. Rolex, Cartier, Mercedes, Diamond. Those are just str*pper names.
#18
I was once drunk in a Taco Bell, waiting for my order at the pickup counter. The employee comes over to announce the next order, goes to read the name on the bag, double takes.
“…Adolph?”
This m**********r walks up, head in shame. The employee literally said “that’s not funny” as the guy was trying to seriously explain that was his real name.
I think about that man often.
#21
Naming a kid *anything* that sounds like a joke—like "Brick" or "Banana"—is just setting them up for a tough time. Imagine going through life introducing yourself as “Banana”... nah, that’s just cruel. Keep it cute, not crazy!
#24
There is a road in rural Ontario named after a local farmer, Harry Dyck. The road sign for Harry Dyck Road kept getting stolen. So they epoxy'd the sign to the post, and it remains to this day. True story.
#25
My great grandmother was named Crucifixa. Gotta love Italian Catholics back in the day.
#26
New Hampshire had a representative named D**k Swett (representative from 1991-1995 then served as the American ambassador to Denmark from 1998-2001).
He goes by Richard now.
#27
Names I have came across over the years teaching…
B***h (no joke here)
Princess
Chlamydia
Shacked.
#28
Did maintenance at a teaching hospital for a while. Passing through the Maternity ward, I've seen Tarzan, Puma, Aquanet, and my personal favorite... Brunhilde.
#34
Soda
Seven.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 3 days ago
I did spend a little while referring to the kids by the Borg designation. The eldest was 1 of 4, the youngest, 4 of 4, etc. "1 of 4, have you seen 3 of 4?"
Load More Replies...
Child of the Stars 4 days ago
No comments about The Outsiders here? Because I immediately thought of Sodapop, the middle brother!
Janissary35680 3 days ago
"Seven" is actually a girl's name in Turkish. It means "One who loves".
Daniel Atkins 3 days ago
I heard a women say Sierra Mist get in the car. This was before the soda company changed the soda name to Starry.
Howl's sleeping castle 4 days ago
One of my classmates had a dog named Pepsi and we used to laugh and tease her for choosing that name. Can't think what made a parent pick 'Soda' for a human child
Mariele Scherzinger 3 days ago
I know someone who named their kid "Elf". It is also the German word for "eleven". Other kids tease him by calling him "Twelve".
What do you think ?
Birb 4 days ago (edited)
What the fock BP? I was reading a comment of my post in an other topic and at the end was, to read more subscribe to PREMIUM. Are you guys out of your effing mind? The topic is 50 fascinating old time photos
Cee Cee 4 days ago
Yup they're really pushing it. I suspect soon unless you pay you'll not be able to access BP
Load More Replies...
Cee Cee 4 days ago
Some countries disallow dodgy names when the birth is registered. However a few names here are fine and well used historically. I'm thinking Hortense, Dorcas, Candida.
Rachel Pelz 4 days ago
Candida is a traditional name? Like for humans, not fungi?
Load More Replies...
Corvus 3 days ago
Back in the old days, there was a trend in my country for naming people after modern things... like Telephone, or Tractor, or Radio, or even Napkin! There was also a period of absurd communism-inspired names, such as Barricade, Brigadier, Pioneer, Laborer, etc. Poor kids back then.
UKGrandad 3 days ago
Would that be somewhere like Ukraine in the Soviet era? On QI a few years ago Stephen Fry asked 'Why wouldn't you name your son Power Station?' The answer was that during that era in Ukraine it was a girl's name, while Combine Harvester was a name for a boy.
Load More Replies...
Captain Grump 3 days ago
What's so funny about Biggus Dikus? I have very good friend in Rome called Biggus Dikus.
Iampenny 3 days ago (edited)
I'm still mildy peeved that a friend of mine who's last name is Power didn't call her son Max.. . ;-)
kath morgan 3 days ago
1001 ways for a mother to express that she wishes she did something else with her life.
howdylee 2 days ago
Local politician is named Thaddeus Claggett. I don't follow how he's doing in his politician position, but I'm sorry, that is the most supervillain name I've ever heard in real life!
For All Pedernity 1 day ago
This has to be in the Deep South... he's probably the local klan leader.
Load More Replies...
Sage Harper 3 days ago (edited)
I meant someone once as a receptionist and they said their name was Rachel. When I went to write it down, she got very angry that I didn't spell it correctly. How she did she spell her name? Mckenna.
deletemyaccount 3 days ago
Thee odd names I've known. A boy named Barbie. A girl named Chlamydia. and My favorite my sisters friend was named Tuesday. Tuesdays parents let their 3 year old daughter who had a normal name, name her.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 days ago
I'm going to tell my cousin, Buchanan (yes, that's his given name), that his name seems pretty tame right now compared to some of these Tragedeighs -_-"
René Sauer 3 days ago
Good, I hate it when they put fake names from Cartoons or something in these kinds of lists...
arthbach 3 days ago
I was in school with 'Heather Bell' and 'Beverly Hill'. My Mam taught a child names Rhea. Her parent chose it to prevent her name being shortened. She was a talkative child, and her uncle called her 'Die-a' as she most definitely had verbal diarrhea.
Kaeda 3 days ago
My maiden name was Rhea and I was forever correcting people on its punctuation. It was just like 'Ray'.
Load More Replies...
GlitterPanda 2 days ago
There is a composer and piano player named D**k Hyman... very talented musician, very unfortunate name
bbfa 2 days ago
I wish I could tell you my niece and nephew's names, but someone would recognize them. Peak stupidity. Think about what the kid's peers are gonna do to them, it's tough enough being an adolescent without a moronic name. It's not my business, after all. I just smile and say nothing. Not my kids. But they will require therapy.
Sally-Ann 3 days ago (edited)
I used to work in a government office. The work often involved processing forms from the public. My workmates and I had a running list called the 'Name of the Day' (NOTD). We would add any name we came across that was oddly spelled, incomphensible or just plain dumb. There was a rule against any name that was clearly ethnic but when I retired I there was over 200 on the list. I think the name with the most variations was Siobhan but the one that stuck out for me was 'Caughtnee'.
Novel Idesa 3 days ago
I am a cake decorator so I write names on birthday cakes all day. I've seen some bad ones over the years. Most recently, Kynnydy, Word, Nymeria (not the worst, but of all the GoT characters to name your kid after, you picked a dog?!?!), and the worst was Anemone. She even clarified "like the sea creature," in case she thought I accidentally misheard her and thought she said an actual human name like Emily or something.
scteach87161921 3 days ago
I'm a teacher and I think my most memorable are Messiah (a lot for a kid to live up to) and Mi'Anjel. Had a girl whose middle name was Assasyn. Not my student but a coworker had a student named Wyzdum. A friend of mines uncle is a cop and he went on a call where the child present was named "Teflon (first) Velveeta (middle)"
Sage Harper 3 days ago
Met a woman who got her name legally changed in her 40s to Luna Ravenwolf.
Angie Falzarano 3 days ago
Worked in a place had a lot of retirees. The one that stuck with me "cute one satterwhite". Worked with a lady in my twenties who named her kid "kermit" claiming she named him before Kermit the frog ever existed. Then there was a kid a friend of mine worked with at a children's hospital named "semaj" yes James backwards. He thought it was a typo but the mother yelled and said his name is semaj.
Kaeda 3 days ago (edited)
Oddest names that I've ever known (and have personally met): Xylophone and Jo'Zhyah (pronounced Josiah). The most cringeworthy names was a group of three siblings that my mom used to babysit. They were LaChrista Lorenn (Chrissy), Celestial Rain (Tia), and Draconus Brunos (Drake). EDIT: Misspelled Chrissy's full name. Dang autocorrect!
Damned_Cat 3 days ago
I used to work with a lady whose prior job was to issue birth certificates at a local hospital. She said that every single day she would have to try and talk someone out of giving their baby a name like V@gina, Valium, A-hole, etc. She couldn't force them, but had to at least explain the downsides of these names.
Bored Trash Panda 3 days ago
Once saw someone's name Shitoris. Like S**t and Clitoris put together...
Ron Mael's devoted wife. 4 days ago
Soul, Oak and Elm, Antigone, ...what can I say? I live in a hippy part of the UK.
Birb 4 days ago (edited)
What the fock BP? I was reading a comment of my post in an other topic and at the end was, to read more subscribe to PREMIUM. Are you guys out of your effing mind? The topic is 50 fascinating old time photos
Cee Cee 4 days ago
Yup they're really pushing it. I suspect soon unless you pay you'll not be able to access BP
Load More Replies... Cee Cee 4 days ago
Some countries disallow dodgy names when the birth is registered. However a few names here are fine and well used historically. I'm thinking Hortense, Dorcas, Candida.
Rachel Pelz 4 days ago
Candida is a traditional name? Like for humans, not fungi?
Load More Replies... Corvus 3 days ago
Back in the old days, there was a trend in my country for naming people after modern things... like Telephone, or Tractor, or Radio, or even Napkin! There was also a period of absurd communism-inspired names, such as Barricade, Brigadier, Pioneer, Laborer, etc. Poor kids back then.
UKGrandad 3 days ago
Would that be somewhere like Ukraine in the Soviet era? On QI a few years ago Stephen Fry asked 'Why wouldn't you name your son Power Station?' The answer was that during that era in Ukraine it was a girl's name, while Combine Harvester was a name for a boy.
Load More Replies... Captain Grump 3 days ago
What's so funny about Biggus Dikus? I have very good friend in Rome called Biggus Dikus.
Iampenny 3 days ago (edited)
I'm still mildy peeved that a friend of mine who's last name is Power didn't call her son Max.. . ;-)
kath morgan 3 days ago
1001 ways for a mother to express that she wishes she did something else with her life.
howdylee 2 days ago
Local politician is named Thaddeus Claggett. I don't follow how he's doing in his politician position, but I'm sorry, that is the most supervillain name I've ever heard in real life!
For All Pedernity 1 day ago
This has to be in the Deep South... he's probably the local klan leader.
Load More Replies... Sage Harper 3 days ago (edited)
I meant someone once as a receptionist and they said their name was Rachel. When I went to write it down, she got very angry that I didn't spell it correctly. How she did she spell her name? Mckenna.
deletemyaccount 3 days ago
Thee odd names I've known. A boy named Barbie. A girl named Chlamydia. and My favorite my sisters friend was named Tuesday. Tuesdays parents let their 3 year old daughter who had a normal name, name her.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 days ago
I'm going to tell my cousin, Buchanan (yes, that's his given name), that his name seems pretty tame right now compared to some of these Tragedeighs -_-"
René Sauer 3 days ago
Good, I hate it when they put fake names from Cartoons or something in these kinds of lists...
arthbach 3 days ago
I was in school with 'Heather Bell' and 'Beverly Hill'. My Mam taught a child names Rhea. Her parent chose it to prevent her name being shortened. She was a talkative child, and her uncle called her 'Die-a' as she most definitely had verbal diarrhea.
Kaeda 3 days ago
My maiden name was Rhea and I was forever correcting people on its punctuation. It was just like 'Ray'.
Load More Replies... GlitterPanda 2 days ago
There is a composer and piano player named D**k Hyman... very talented musician, very unfortunate name
bbfa 2 days ago
I wish I could tell you my niece and nephew's names, but someone would recognize them. Peak stupidity. Think about what the kid's peers are gonna do to them, it's tough enough being an adolescent without a moronic name. It's not my business, after all. I just smile and say nothing. Not my kids. But they will require therapy.
Sally-Ann 3 days ago (edited)
I used to work in a government office. The work often involved processing forms from the public. My workmates and I had a running list called the 'Name of the Day' (NOTD). We would add any name we came across that was oddly spelled, incomphensible or just plain dumb. There was a rule against any name that was clearly ethnic but when I retired I there was over 200 on the list. I think the name with the most variations was Siobhan but the one that stuck out for me was 'Caughtnee'.
Novel Idesa 3 days ago
I am a cake decorator so I write names on birthday cakes all day. I've seen some bad ones over the years. Most recently, Kynnydy, Word, Nymeria (not the worst, but of all the GoT characters to name your kid after, you picked a dog?!?!), and the worst was Anemone. She even clarified "like the sea creature," in case she thought I accidentally misheard her and thought she said an actual human name like Emily or something.
scteach87161921 3 days ago
I'm a teacher and I think my most memorable are Messiah (a lot for a kid to live up to) and Mi'Anjel. Had a girl whose middle name was Assasyn. Not my student but a coworker had a student named Wyzdum. A friend of mines uncle is a cop and he went on a call where the child present was named "Teflon (first) Velveeta (middle)"
Sage Harper 3 days ago
Met a woman who got her name legally changed in her 40s to Luna Ravenwolf.
Angie Falzarano 3 days ago
Worked in a place had a lot of retirees. The one that stuck with me "cute one satterwhite". Worked with a lady in my twenties who named her kid "kermit" claiming she named him before Kermit the frog ever existed. Then there was a kid a friend of mine worked with at a children's hospital named "semaj" yes James backwards. He thought it was a typo but the mother yelled and said his name is semaj.
Kaeda 3 days ago (edited)
Oddest names that I've ever known (and have personally met): Xylophone and Jo'Zhyah (pronounced Josiah). The most cringeworthy names was a group of three siblings that my mom used to babysit. They were LaChrista Lorenn (Chrissy), Celestial Rain (Tia), and Draconus Brunos (Drake). EDIT: Misspelled Chrissy's full name. Dang autocorrect!
Damned_Cat 3 days ago
I used to work with a lady whose prior job was to issue birth certificates at a local hospital. She said that every single day she would have to try and talk someone out of giving their baby a name like V@gina, Valium, A-hole, etc. She couldn't force them, but had to at least explain the downsides of these names.
Bored Trash Panda 3 days ago
Once saw someone's name Shitoris. Like S**t and Clitoris put together...
Ron Mael's devoted wife. 4 days ago
Soul, Oak and Elm, Antigone, ...what can I say? I live in a hippy part of the UK.
You May Like 115 Unique Baby Names With Weird Meanings 102 Unique Baby Names That Went Viral Doctors Share The Wildest Examples Of Correct Self-Diagnoses, Here Are The 30 Best Ones
Larysa Perih
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Shelly Fourer
Related on Bored Panda
