aflickerofhope.wordpress.com

Dearest,

How do I begin this? I may not understand what you’ve been going through, but I understand how tough it has been for you. My dear, you have been so strong that you wish someone could understand. Yes, I’m here now. I’ve never met you, or I probably never will; but I believe you’re a warrior, and your presence is priceless. I hope you smile, because it looks beautiful when you do. I love you and accept you as you are.

You may have read some aspiring articles to lift you up, or have been told to live in the moment as there’s no reason for us to feel this way — that these thoughts would go once neglected. Don’t even bother with what they think we should or shouldn’t do, because as we live our lives, we simply don’t have to be a football of other people’s opinions. And of course, they’re wrong. Your feelings are valid and authentic. Your suicidal thoughts should not be refuted. Sometimes people can be very toxic towards our thoughts and feelings, so we shouldn’t allow them to inject their toxicity into our blood.

I’m certain that what you’re going through is unbearable and unpleasant, but my friend, please keep holding on because dark days will be over soon. I’m not saying this just to cheer you up, but I’m positive that there’s always hope in everything, and after every storm comes a rainbow. We’ve all got demons inside us, feeding their lethal deception and telling us to give up everything we’ve been working our butts off for. So, my dear, please hold on tight and never give in. Don’t be afraid. You’re not alone. Hold my hand tight, and walk through this darkest valley together. We’ll make it, I promise.

Would you believe me if I let you know that I attempted suicide twice when I was at the age of 16? I was severely bullied each and every day, and I suddenly wanted everything to stop. I didn’t know who to talk to, because at that exact moment I constantly heard demons say I was just a pathetic loser and a liability, and I honestly felt like there would be no end to this torment. You may think that I was a drama queen or a depressed bitch, but I actually reached out to my friends and counselors who took it as a joke and seemed very helpless about my suicidal thoughts. As the sky turned dark, my hope died. I, then, was caught committing suicide twice, and was later sent to a psychiatrist. I was glad that I finally found someone whom I could confide in and pour my heart out to, and yes he did save my life. You know what he told me? “I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through this alone, but I don’t have a magic wand that can be weaved to wash away your pain. Hold on, and just wait. Brighter days are coming, and this too shall pass.”

To all of suicide attempts out there, this blog post is dedicated to you, my friends. You’re still here, and I can hear your heartbeat. I’m so proud of you all for getting though each day to fight your battles. Always remember that you are loved, and your life means so much. My dears, amazing things will happen when you least expect them. Just. Wait.

I wholeheartedly hope that you took the time to read this from start to end, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you know anyone who’s feeling suicidal, reach out, listen, and be kind to them. They can be your beloved ones, friends, classmates, or family members. Let’s help save lives before it’s too late.

Love,

David

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