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Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!

Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!

#1

We had planned to do dinner and a movie but I had to work late, so we stopped at Chik-Fil-A on the way to the theater. After she finished eating, she threw her trash out of my car and into the street. I never spoke to her again after that day.

sheogorath366 Report

#2

We are at a local brewery and she looks as though she is about to cry. I ask her what the problem is and she mentions that they don't have any vegan options. They have plenty of vegetarian options that allow for you to substitute for vegan cheese, so I suggest that. At this point tears are rolling down her cheek. I ask if she has another place in mind and she immediately perks up. We head over to that restaurant and she orders fish tacos.

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#3

His toenails were so long they clicked on the floor like a dog.

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#4

I took her out to eat. I said I wanted the salmon, she suggested I ordered a burger 'like a man'.

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Benny Lava
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And drink nothing but beer and bourbon. They only use water to wash their monster trucks.

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#5

I dated this girl who was the loudest eater I ever met. She constantly chewed with her mouth open and smacked her lips. God forbid if she really liked it, then there came a litany of mmms and noms as well. It was like dating the cookie monster.

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#6

She refused to eat anything besides chicken nuggets and french fries. No substitutions. Not chicken tenders. Not chicken strips. If we went somewhere without nuggets and fries she would just order a Coke and watch me eat.
I once made the mistake of cooking dinner for her. She took one bite and asked if I would be offended if she ran to McDonalds to get nugs/fries.

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Hans
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is seriously gross. Did she also look like a chicken nugget?

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#7

The voice she used to baby talk to her dog was insufferable. Occasionally she would use it on me but not a lot. Then one night she asked me, "Can I sucky on your dicky?" It was the first, and last, time I turned down sexual activity. We broke up right then and there.

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#8

I once broke up with a girl because she couldn't ever decide on something. I would say, "Lets go to the movies" and I'd even ask what movie she wanted to see, and she would NEVER make up her mind. Drove me nuts.
Turns out she had another boyfriend, and when I confronted her about it, she told me "She couldn't decide between the two of us." fml

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Eleven Seventy Seven
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my ex-bf did that all the time....drove me nuts. I had to decide everything, dinner, film, so I was always trying to pick what I knew he liked.

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#9

I hung in there for like 2 years.. The thing that did me in? She made noises, like all the time, and then giggle at herself.
She'd sit down in a chair "ploppppp, hehe." She'd fluff up a pillow "foof foof foof hehe." She'd use the TV remote "pshew pshew hehe." We'd eat out "cunch cunch hehe."
At the end, I wanted to jump off the roof.

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#10

She ate my burger that I ordered at Chili's. I asked her if she wanted food. She said no. Right as the food came I went to the bathroom. I came back and the f*cking burger was gone. "Oops I'm sorry I was a little hungry." F you.

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#11

I once broke up with a girl because I thought she was hiding something and was going to break up with me. Turns out she was indeed hiding something: a trip to the Caribbean. For us.
I was an idiot at 22.

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#12

She didn't believe in the moon landing

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Hans
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And probably even told stories about this man-made global warming....unbelievable! (/sarcasm)

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#13

She asked what I would do if someone poked a hole in my condom.

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#14

I was 9 at the time. Got a girlfriend on a Thursday, my mom got me glasses that weekend. I came back to school with glasses and the moment my girlfriend saw me she said "ewwww you dork" and broke up with me. She's a heroin addict now.

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Lara B.
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Serves her right after bullying a kid for his glassed! No, seriously. Kids can be cruel, that is unfortunately the way it is (not saying it needs to be that way! No, i hate it!).

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#15

She was a one-upper. She'd have a better version of every one of my stories.

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#16

She used to sneak up on me while I'm peeing, grab hold of my junk and start aiming for me.
Eventually, I started to fake being startled so I'd have an excuse to piss on her feet, in the hopes that she would realize it's a bad idea.

SlapMyHams Report

#17

I dated a girl for a short time, based on a blind date. One night, we were driving to dinner and I was telling a story. I ended by saying "It was funny as hell."
She looked at me and asked, "Do you really think hell is funny?"
Awkward dinner was the last dinner.

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#18

She would belch like a trucker, and then look at me excitedly for approval. One time she forced the belch too hard, and threw up in her own lap like a sick dog.

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#19

She was putting mustard on her fries by applying it to her hand first and then rubbing it all over the fries. Then she licked the mustard off her hand. You would never ever think she would do this by looking at her or speaking to her.

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#20

She would constantly talk specifically during the dialogue of movies. In scenes where nobody was talking...silence. Then as soon as somebody started talking:
"DID YOU READ THAT ARTICLE ON SHEA BUTTER IN THE PAPER?"

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E Menendez
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone like that. Only she will ask questions about what is going on at the same time the dialogue is explaining exactly what is going on. Or ask a question about something that hasn't been explained yet and I am like idfk, I am watching the same movie you are. Why would I know that? While there is a significant scene occurring.

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#21

He put A1 all over filet mignon I made him for Valentine's Day. This was not some shit big box filet -- hand cut and selected specially for the occasion by butchers I know.
And he wanted it well done.
Woman's gotta have a code, man.... Some shit ain't right.

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#22

He was really nice, but when we got to speaking on Facebook and text he could barely spell anything, and didn't find grammar necessary. I felt bad until he called me a bitch.

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#23

I broke up with this guy after going out twice because he ended up having NO sense of humor & I love to laugh. After I broke up with him I started getting multiple phone calls on a daily basis from car dealerships - they would always start the conversation off with "Im sorry but I know Im going to pronounce your name wrong"...followed by names such as: Ms. Cuntarella, Ms. Bitschface & Ms. Fatasse. IM NOT KIDDING YALL. Sad thing is, I laughed SO HARD because damn, thats original!

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#24

He ate my lunch while I left to get napkins for him. The only meals I ever really got my junior year was the free lunch provided from the school district for low income families. He didn't know that and assumed it was OK because I usually don't get mad over those kind of things but I was on my period and just got done with stupid standardized testing. So I walked away and never looked back.

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#25

She said nickelback was modern day Shakespeare.

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#26

Every time I yawned she thought it hilarious if she stuck her finger in my open mouth. I could never relax…always had to be prepared for oral violation

AbeLincolnsBallsack Report

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Janice Foster
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Easily fixed by having the basic manners to cover your mouth with your hand when you yawn!

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#27

I was a 15 year old freshmen and she was 17 year old senior. When we started dating, she said she wanted to wait two months before having sex. I was a virgin and wasn't even really worried about it so I agreed. Then a month later things got hot and heavy and she insisted that we do it; I asked "are you sure? You said you wanted to wait" but she insisted on banging it out anyways. Afterwards, she said that it was a test to see if I would actually wait like I said I would. Then she dumped me.

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#28

I suspected her of stealing my Pokémon card. Nothing special, just a Pikachu, but damn, when my suspicions settled in, I smashed all ties with her. I miss being 11.

Zer0_Sanity Report

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OTTERZ4LIFE
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I started reading and I thought WHAT IN THE WORLD? WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT. 11 yrs old. I literally face palm.

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#29

She put the spoon into the sugar jar after stirring her coffee. Would leave clumps of coffee sugar.

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#30

I had left him in the restaurant because he said that cats are stupid. I asked once again: "So, you're saying that MY cat is stupid???" He said: "Yes ..." I stood up and went away. That was our first (and last!) date.

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#31

He used water in his cereal instead of milk.

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#32

Was staying at a beachhouse with girlfriend and her family. Outdoor shower. I'm in there fapping up a storm because, I don't know, it felt appropriate at the time. You ever get that feeling that someone is watching you? Turns out you can look down into the shower from the top deck railing and her mom and aunt are laughing it up like little girls watching me operate the dutch rudder. I didn't say a single word to girlfriend, got in my car, drove 3 hours home. Just never called her.

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#33

I met this gorgeous Kenyan girl. Beautiful to put it simply. I took her to a baseball game and things were going well. But she kept referring to the crowd as "the humans" or "you humans". For instance, 3rd inning comes around and so does the wave. Once it passes us, she sits down, laughs and says "You humans have weird customs." This freaked me out. All I could think was if we are the humans... wtf are you?!

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Daria B
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, come on, a little understanding for a lost and lonely alien trying to blend in within Earthlings' culture. ^_- ♥

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#34

I briefly dated a lady who was very attractive but, I soon learned, probably fell comfortably into the 5th percentile of IQ. I'm from Africa and told her about traditional weddings in my country, where a cow would often be slaughtered in front of the guests, for their consumption. She screwed up her face and said something like "Oh my god, who eats cows?". I looked at her for a moment, and asked "Do you eat beef?". "Yes," came the reply. I got up and left shortly afterwards.

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#35

She always said "I don't mind" as the answer to every question put to her. What film do you want to see? What do you want from the chippy? What club do you want to go to tonight? Always "I don't mind" so I would make a choice only to be met with
"ugh, I don't like that. I would rather [insert choice]"
Drove me up the walls.

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#36

He didn't eat anything but potatoes, peanut butter, and ramen. He wasn't a broke college student, just a f*cking picky eater. Nope. Adios.

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#37

She'd wait until she had the bartender's attention and then start to decide what she wanted to drink.

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#38

I had an ex leave me after five years so she could "go be young". About three years later she has two kids and she's divorced.

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John L
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's hope she finally got it all our of her system, lol. :D

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#39

I absolutely hate anime. Not shitting on it, that's just my brutally honest opinion. I don't know why, but I just can't stand it. Anyways, I didn't have a problem with her loving anime, but I did have a problem with her forcing me to watch it all the time, saying "I'd grow to like it", but if anything my disliking towards it only grew stronger. We couldn't find something we both wanted to watch, no no, we had to watch anime.

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Amanda Butler
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dated a guy like this once. He insisted on wearing "anime shirts" as well. He was 32. Maybe we should hook them up?

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#40

We got in a fight because he didn't want me drinking green tea. (He was Mormon) I was fine with the Mormonism but he claimed green tea was bad for my health.

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Master Markus
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You shouldn't be fine with Mormonism if you can help it. It was created by a convicted fraud and the church makes it very difficult for people to leave or have any sort of privacy away from it. All religion is pretty unbelievable, but Mormonism is expressly of the money-grabbing cult sort.

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#41

On our first date, I brought her home. I went to let my dog out for a grand total of five minutes, and she shaved her genitals using my razor. I came back in, went in the bathroom, and it was like a shaving cream bomb went off. Then I noticed my razor, wet with hairs on it. I have a full beard, and hadn't used it in over a week. She then played it off like nothing happened, and there was nothing she felt like telling me.

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#42

She broke up with me because I was & I'm paraphrasing "an unhinged atheist "
Ps I'm just a research scientist.

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#43

I have two. One guy ate like a t-rex. He would keep his elbows by his side while he ate and leaned over to get his food off his fork. Another guy had no shape to the back of his head. His neck just went straight up. Both named Chris.

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#44

She had the same name as my sister. I liked her and tried, but I just couldn't do it.

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John L
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you have a serious infatuation with your sister? If not, perhaps therapy could help.

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#45

She would always say how much she loved to travel, but has never been outside of California. Retweeting, reblogging, Instagram, everything about her "travels to the grocery store" or "my travels to Yosemite". I ended it cause I said I needed space, last thing she said to me was "good luck on your travels".

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Brivid
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people can not afford to go to other countries or even to go to the other side of the US. However California is quite a large state that spans the Pacific seaboard, a gal could do a lot of affordable travel right in her own state.

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#46

Shallowest reason here but with zero exaggeration - her natural laugh was a bellowing siren that sounded extremely forced and fake. During a normal conversation, this reverse duck call would sporatically ring through the public area causing literal standstills, quickly followed by several groups paying full attention to our table just waiting for the next siren to go off. And it would - with the exact same pitch, volume and length.

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#47

I once had a girlfriend's dad tell his own daughter that she wasn't good enough for me. No shit. The Japanese are brutal.

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Michel M. Prins
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's horrible. I wouldn't be surprised if the father is part of the source for her "not being good enough".

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#48

She would always make points by asking opposing questions.
For example, "Do I like crunchy peanut butter? No. Do I like creamy peanut butter? Yes."
It happened three or four times a day. And never in a scenario that made sense to be formatted that way. I didn't even break up with her. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her out of fear of having an aneurysm.

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#49

She had lower self esteem than me. No one has lower self esteem than me. NO ONE, JERRY

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#50

He obsessed with Japan and anyone on Earth dares to say anything, even if its true about that country he would gone mad. We once walked in Tokyo (as he insist to visit that country) and we saw loads of prostitutes around. He said those must be women from poorer country, like Vietnam, as Japanese are "too cool for that". and I'm a Vietnamese...so...F'off!

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Diana CrunChewy Watson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a sign of a bigger problem: he forms an opinion and defends it regardless of fact.

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#51

I broke up with a guy because he was forcing me to be a fat, furry characters in our roleplays, even when i told him so many times that I hate these things. That was not the only thing, he even forgot my birthday, flirted with my, under age female friend, and even with my ex. The last drop was when he started me sending fake pictures of his genitals, which were much bigger than his real ones, he then blamed me that I made it all up.

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Angel
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy - he sounds a little (or a lot) crazy lol

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#52

1 gf broke up with me because her best friend just broke up with her bf a couple days before. Didn't know our relationships were tied together like that

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Khanh Phan
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dafuq? Seems like she didn't date you base on her emotion but merely to match up with her friend. That's cruel to play with other people feeling like this..

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#53

i once dated a guy who would occasionally talk on the phone to someone in Spanish who he claimed to be his mother. it turned out to be his girlfriend.

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#54

He had been cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend for two weeks because he'd been feeling neglected. I had been enrolled in a therapy group by my doctor for clinical depression and social anxiety. A week later, he tells me he broke up with her and wants me back. I said no. He sent a last resort dick pic. I still said no. The next day, his girlfriend finds me on Facebook and messages me to stop bothering her man. His stupidity was mind boggling. I'm happily single.

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#55

He spoiled Doctor Who for me. Serious spoilers.

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#56

I dated a guy I had known since we were kids, but had been years since we had seen each other. The first weekend I spent with him, we went to the bar with his friends. After, we all went to his house to watch some stand-up comedy. At one point he got up, went into the kitchen, pissed in fridge, then proceeded to walk back into the living room where he face-planted/passed out into a deep drunken slumber.
The red flag was his friends told me "Don't worry. He does this all the time"

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#57

I got along with her father, she liked me because I was a rebel. I still miss her dad.

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#58

We were at a dinner party with his friends (another couple) the friends start talking about how it's really difficult to get a decent job with all the migrants. I laugh expecting the joke to be over, it wasn't, he agrees. I'm Mexican I left never saw him again.

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#59

She would only eat at restaurants that served Mountain Dew. If they did not, she could/would not eat there.
I kicked that one to the curb quickly and with no hesitation because that's f*cking insane.

douchetorials Report

#60

She called herself "pretty much a psychologist" after taking Psych 1000.

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Colin Bayler
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amazing how many people associated with that field need it more than the patients.

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#61

I was dating a guy briefly early this Spring. He was a bigger guy, about 6'4" and 250 lbs. Two weeks into dating, when I'd try to have a conversation with him, he started to use this tiny, nasally, lispy baby voice to talk to me with! He said stuff like "oh mah gerd", "awww, poor baybay" or "cool story bro"...even had a movie quote for every scenario. All in the lispy baby voice! It was the biggest turn off ever, so I ghosted. No wonder he is single.

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#62

A guy left me because I was doing my Master in Cultural Studies. He said that it's not serious course enough and I haven't planned my futhure well. Two weeks later, he was dating a a two-classes-lower student of the same studies.

I can not blame him, she had like amazing boobs.

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#63

I left 2 bottles of expensive French wine at his place when I left, told him to keep him for next time we would see each other.
He drank them with his buddies at a camping trip, told me about it afterwards, still asked me if I could bring more "of that french wine he got drunk on"
Animal.

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#64

She would sing along with songs that were playing on the radio, but with a delay of .5 seconds, like she knew the tune, but didn't know the words until she HEARD them. It got SO annoying, SO quickly. Nope.

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Long Joan Silver
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a musician myself, that really annoys me. Also, when people sing the lyrics before the artist does on the track, constantly, it just really spoils the song.

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#65

I'm really into craft beers and I get super excited when I go to a place with a really big tap and/or bottle selection. I was on a second date with a guy and we were at a local bar with one of the best bottle selections in town. As I'm standing there analyzing the different bottles, trying to narrow down what I'd like to try, he orders us two Busch Lites.
I stopped returning his calls after that.

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#66

She didn't know butter was made from milk.

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#67

I took a bus, ferry, and subway to commute to her place.
She wouldn't reciprocate. The commuting distribution was wildly uneven! Trains! Boats! Busses!

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#68

"I seen that the other day" NOPE. BYE.

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#69

He mispronounced words. Drove me crazy. Subtle was one of the words. He said SUB til. I just couldn't...

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Lorraine Groves
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh! My husband of 19 years does this and it drives me nuts. But he does it intentionally which is worse. And sometimes when ordering food he will use a fake accent.

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#70

I once dumped a guy because we were doing the same things every day, like it was an army routine. I saw my life flash before my eyes with all my future days being the same. So, to break the cycle, he had to go.

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Michel M. Prins
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a very reasonable situation to end it. If you feel being trapped in a cycle and you dislike it, then you have to take unpleasant steps, now and then.

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#71

She left me because I brought flowers and a love letter to her house because we had a pointless fight over text the day prior. Obviously meant as a surprise. When I asked if she's serious she reminded me that she told me 3 months before that she hates surprises and that this was the second strike. 2 years later I realised I dodged a tank shell.

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#72

I know someone who broke up with their SO because whenever they took a bite from a fork they would bite down on it while they slid it out of their front teeth. Makes me cringe thinking about it.

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#73

Found out she was banging a friend and smoking crack around our baby daughter.

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#74

She had the smelliest upper buttcrack. Its almost as if she would wash her buttcrack with a dirtier buttcrack

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#75

She said she was a big Pink Floyd fan. Later, didn't recognize Pink Floyd on the radio.

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John L
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG, you are so musically ignorant that you didn't recognize Pink Floyd?! At the very least you should know all about all of the band members, their strengths and weaknesses. You should be totally ashamed of yourself.

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#76

Barbeque sauce. She was from St. Louis and decided that St. Louis style was the ONLY bbq sauce that she would use. I season and smoke a beautiful brisket, and she slathers it with sweet bbq sauce WITHOUT EVEN TRYING IT AS IT WAS INTENDED.
I'm getting angry now.

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#77

I made a comment about hating the fact that there are security cameras everywhere.
She fired back with the bullshit "nothing to hide, nothing to fear" argument. I knew we weren't meant to be.

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Angel
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with you, just because you have nothing to hide, doesn't mean you want it broadcast live

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#78

Oh, I have so many stories about him but i'm gonna tell the one that was the last drop for me. We were in his room. I was sitting on his bed and at one point i was looking under his bed and i saw bottles filled with something. i asked him what it was but he refused to tell me. I was afraid to ask, but i did it: "is it pee?". It was. Seven big bottles of pee because he was too lazy to walk in to the hall to the bathroom. I can somehow understand laziness, but why keep 7 bottles of pee?!

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#79

During sex, her giant dog jumped up on the bed and licked my balls from behind. Freaked me out, and I completely ghosted her after that. We were doing doggy style.

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#80

On a first date we had a coffee then went for a walk at his suggestion to somewhere he liked. We walked for 20 minutes and then he stopped and said thoughtfully, 'I thought we'd sit here.' I turn around expecting a bench, but its just the pavement, and its facing a car park. No second date.

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#81

She left me because she thought I was going to leave her for another guy. I'm bisexual, and was head over heels in love with her.

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#82

She would constantly say the names of the stores we passed by while driving.
Jiffy Lube. Huh, a Spencers. Gym-boooo-ree (that's how she would say it)

I_Say_I_Say Report

#83

I was the one got dumped but I was talking on the phone to my then girlfriend and my brother says "what if you take her home, and find out her dick is bigger than yours?" I laughed. She asked me what was so funny and I (like an idiot) told her. She broke up with me as soon as I was done telling her. Thinking back on it, I wonder if my brother was right?

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Janice Foster
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I doubt your brother was right - she probably just realised what how immature and nasty you were. Bullet dodged... by her!

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#84

We ate mushrooms one night in college and we were coming down laying in bed and I realized she had a weird smell about her. I forgot about it, fell asleep, and after a couple more times seeing each other I ended it because the smell was permanent. Her natural aroma. I just couldn't shake it. It was like a combination of poppers and sweaty feet. We weren't a great match anyways but the smell made the choice easy.

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Ly Nguyen
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fun fact, smell is one of the many ways that humans will subconsciously identify if they are biologically compatible with each other, i.e. are their genetics such that they will make strong offspring. If you don't like the natural smell of your date, it might be your lizard brain telling you their not a good match (either that or they just have bad hygiene lol) (source:http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/library/01/6/l_016_08.html)

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#85

She said one of my dogs was, "kinda ugly."

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Rafaella Bueno
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd love someone honest enough to say that. It means whenever she complements you on anything, it's honest, and that if you do something she doesn't like, she'll actually tell you instead of pretending it's all fine.

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#86

Met the guy on the Saturday, by the next Saturday I had around 700-800 texts off him, he'd send 10 in the time I'd take to reply once. He blew my phone up constantly to the point where I could hardly carry a conversation with someone else, if I was busy for even an hour I'd find myself having to read 50 texts afterwards!

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#87

I once broke up with a girl because she was just so fake. She wouldn't just be REAL. The deal breaker was when she tried to steal my unicorn. I told her she was the worst girlfriend i could ever imagine. My current imaginary girlfriend is much nicer.

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#88

We were dating for a week when he took me on a trip to meet his family. Not that big of an issue, I guess. Then at the two week mark, he told me he loved me. Right after he said that, he decided to tell me every minute detail about the texture of his ex's vagina. At the three week mark, he showed up at my house at 4 am and moved all of his stuff in. He stole my house key to do it saying it was a surprise. Oh, and he constantly stole cigarettes from me even though he had asthma.

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Kieron Behan
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, you stuck around for a week after he gave you a full, detailed description of his ex's vagina?

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#89

When she wore heels, she walked like Jar-Jar-Binks. You know what I'm talking about.

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#90

He believes that the earth is flat.

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#91

He let his dog defacate inside the house on the carpet. It was still there 4 days later.

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#92

She always ordered food, ate half of it, then ate half of mine. Then she would offer to share what she ordered, but I didn't like the stuff she ordered.

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#93

I went out with a girl a few times who was completely normal whenever she was around me, but whenever I saw her with her friends she morphed into one of those weird, screaming, over-excited girls who seem like a flock of chickens. Big turn-off.

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#94

Double negatives.
Constantly.
I tried to help by explaining that it's unnecessary.
She responded, "I don't never do that!"
I closed my eyes as I was leaving.

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#95

I asked him to bring a bottle of red wine to go with dinner and he brought Raspberry Arbor Mist.

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Danny Root
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Arbor Mist is great if you're eating cheap and just want to get drunk.

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#96

She ate her peas one at time. One at a time!

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Angel
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have done this - not all the time - but sometimes it's just fun lol

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#97

She asked for ketchup for her steak at an an expensive steakhouse.

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#98

Her voice was annoying and when speaking she placed emphasis on the weirdest parts of the sentence.

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#99

This girl was taking too many selfies with me, showing me off to so many people, sexy girl but I felt like a cat.

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#100

After 45 minutes of having sex in the same position, asked if he wanted to change positions. His response? No. We have to stick to the agenda.

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Alice Putt
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a friend who's new husband whipped out a sex manual on their honeymoon and started on page one.

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#102

Years ago I dated a guy who was obsessed with cherry Chapstick. He'd slather it on obsessively including before we'd have sex. Recently a friend was matched with him on OKCupid and asked me if I knew him. I was telling her about the Chapstick thing, and as she scrolls through his profile, we see a list of top 5 things he can't do without. Number 1? CHERRY CHAPSTICK. :(

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#103

My brother (who is a bit of a shithead anyways) broke up with a girl because she had dentures and didn't tell him. (She had been in an accident and had all her teeth knocked out.) He tried to paint it as her being dishonest, but I called bullshit. She let him put it in, and he was ready to move on to the next one.

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Michel M. Prins
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for the girl. Not all accidents can be prevented. I hope she found herself a REAL man, instead of children like that brother.

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#104

The guy I was with kept sighing when he didn't know what to say. Also he blinked slowly. It drove me mad

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#105

He would whine like a puppy when we made out ... thats a no for me

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#106

I was dumped because I used my windshield wipers too often.

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#107

He would put his mouth over my nose and blow down it. Most horrific thing ever.

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#108

I started dating a guy in high school. After about a year of dating, one day out of the blue he mentioned that I was "getting fat". I changed my lifestyle habits and started exercising. Soon after, I had lost 40 pounds and started getting compliments from friends and family members on my progress, some of which were male. My boyfriend didn't like the attention I was getting from "other guys", and told me that I needed to "put some more weight back on" because he was jealous. Bye.

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#110

She wouldn't french kiss when we made out! I couldn't wrap my head around what she thought making out was. What do you do in this situation?! Do you just peck at one another's face until you become aggravated and try to move on? The dynamics were just all wrong.

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Nina Amalie Haastrup Spindler
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LoL! I had a bf like that! It was our first kiss, and after a while I just got so fed up, that I forced my tongue through his lips. Later I found out he had been sexually assaulted as a child, so maybe it wasn't the best thing I did, but he played it cool and took the hint.

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#111

He once came with his eyes open and crossed. Just really freaked me out. I could never get the picture of his face out of my mind after that.

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#112

After spending the evening at the mall, we bought something a clerk gave us a ticket with a discount for the parking, I laughed and told him that I didn't have a car, after walking a few steps my ex told me that I had embarrassed her for not having one. I decided right there and then that I wouldn't ever marry that type of b!tc#.

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#113

Had a gf who broke up with me because her father died. one year later she wanted to be back together. we arranged a date, called her house to check if she was ready. Guess who answered the phone.

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#115

He and I were living in different states, I was still studying and wanted to pursue a career where I currently was, while he had a great job back home. He was self conscious about the distance between us and gave me an ultimatum, be with him and some point marry him or end things. Well, I guess you know how it went.

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#116

She said she saw my dead mother in my room in the middle of the night while I went to the toilet. I asked her to leave and that was the end. 😁

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#117

So, i reallllly loved a guy, we date for almost 2years, one day left me at the door, go away and some days later sent me a message saying he didn´t want me anymore...3years passed and he come back, i accepted him (stupid, stupid me)...just to 6 months later he say "my love for you vanish to quickly..."
What a jerk :/

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#118

He smeared blood all over my apartment when I was out. Came home to him yelling at me. Then he jumped out my window. I live on the third floor. He broke his pelvis, don't know if he ever learned to walk again.

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#119

I dated a guy who would complain constantly and then get mad when I gave him advice. I stopped saying anything when he complained and he accused me of not listening.

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#120

I dated this guy for a few months, he was getting on my nerves with his constant baby talk. I was trying to let it go when my mom suggested I bring him to my birthday dinner to meet my family. I invited him and my parents wanted me to open my card. As I was opening my card, my boyfriend handed a card to my mother addressed to both my parents. My mom and dad both looked freaked out. When I read the card, it was a hand written card thanking my parents for having sex and creating me. SEE YA!

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#121

He called it 'Malk' and drank it with dinner. Every. Day. (Milk! With an 'i' goddamn it)

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#122

Every time we (french) kissed, she said, "Yummy!"
It was meant to be sexy. It. Wasn't.

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#123

We had just started seeing each other and one day he started telling me about a cougar that hit on him at the gym (she made eye contact). He wouldn't stop talking about her so I blocked him. I wonder if he actually got a date with the cougar.

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#124

He plucked his eyelashes.
No, I'm not confused, I mean his actual eyelashes, on his actual lids.

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John Ashley
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like compulsive disorder/nervous tick of some kind. The guy who maintained my website had no eyebrows because he had a compulsion to pick his eyebrows.

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#125

She sold my copy of "Amused to Death", signed by Roger Waters basicalky for peanuts, to make money for a present for her kid brother. I was caught between killing her or leaving her.

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#126

She always wanted to cuddle/touch me/flirt while I was eating. I told her it bothered me, but she thought it was cute or something so she did it often. One night while eating a slice of pizza she kept rubbing her hand up and down my arm, I had decided enough was enough and loudly broke up with her.

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John L
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least we all know what you deem to be more important, and 'she' isn't it. Believe me, she is far better off for it. ;D

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#127

He lived on a busy street. His bedroom had two large windows that faced the street.
No curtains.

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#128

I was dating a guy, and we were together for about 5 months when all of the sudden he told me that it wasn't working out. I asked him why, he said that I was "too good to him" and then that was the last I heard from him. Lamest excuse ever to give to someone..

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#129

I went out on one date with a guy then he self declares, without my opinion or permission, that he is my boyfriend. He then proceeds to call me 'My Love' and called me at 3am everyday! It came to a point where I just ghosted the guy. His calls lasted a month then he went silent and I took it as a sign that he was over me, but no, two weeks from that last call he made to me he started calling again this time with a different number to tell me he 'broke up' with his new gf. The guy is mental!

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#130

I had one guy break up with me in high school because he said the ghost of his dead aunt told him to. Ok......

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#131

I once dated a girl who refused to make any noise while we had sex. Eventually she quit moving when we had sex too. When I asked her why. She says "if I don't make any sounds I like it." And continued saying "I don't move because I wanna get used to being raped." i don't know what she thinks this is but that ain't it! Deleted!

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#132

He laughed at me for half an hour straight when I told him I wanted to fly a fighter plane for the Navy

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Cayman
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now that's just rude. You go do it if you want to Emily. I'm sure you'll prove him wrong. Post a pic in your plane. YOU GO GIRL!

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#133

She was a swimmer at the university we went to and would only shower like once a week(her excuse was she was always in the water anyways). Once we were in bed, I couldn't shake the stench and how sticky her skin was from all the sweat and chlorine. Bad hygiene is a turn off and some body parts really should be taken care of better.

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#134

I'd have dinner ready for him every night when he got home from work and every single time he would say "my mum makes it better"

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#135

His head was too small. Like freakish, shrunken head small. He was a big dude 6'4 200 pounds, with this tiny child size head I could completely wrap my tiny girl hands around. My friend still call him Tiny Head Paul.
I hope he found someone to love him and that petite noggin of his.

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#136

She held her fork overhanded, as in the shovel technique. You can't take someone like that anywhere.

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#137

Got a divorce because I came home from deployment and my house was super dirty. Like hoarder dirty.

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#138

I broke up with my first love because of peer pressure and i regretted it for a very long time.

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#139

I once dating a guy, after having sx, I go to take a shower but I did not lock the door. He open the door suddenly without saying anything and doing his poo poo. while I am still busy with my shampoo.

Sorry for my bad English. xD

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#140

Every time he liked something he would say "that's-a-nice" like Borat.

Another guy would touch my boob and whisper "squeeze"

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#141

She asked me if I'd wait for her while she went off to f**k a millionaire for a year or two.

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#142

He broke up with me because i was sexually assaulted and it was my fault because I wasn't strong enough to push him off

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#143

Me and my ex boyfriend were dating in park, we are happy and enjoying the day then suddenly he borrowed my apple iPod then he check my Facebook activity, he saw that I was liked someone picture post then he throw my iPod in a street, after that we end our relationship and I told him to replaced my iPod. I learned that I will never be in relationship to the guy that was younger than me.

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#144

I once dated a guy who was so lazy, he never wanted to work, study or go out. He wanted to live off his parents income for the rest of his life. His parents had to force him to even go to a dinner dance that my dance group was hosting. He threw a huge fit saying "my mum never took me to those when I was a kid" and flung my hand off his hand. the whole situation drove me mad. After 4 weeks of his laziness, I left him.

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#145

I broke up with my ex (partially... ok mostly) because the sex was SOOO bad. Like only missionary, no noises, hour long awful silent sex. I loved him otherwise but that was so painfully boring I couldn't keep going.

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OdangaUsagi
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always wonder if people like this ever tried talking to their partners? Maybe he thought that was the way she wanted it and was taking an hour because it was also very boring for him?

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#146

One ex ended up being horribly mean and rude to her whole family and would curse the out in front of me, and I didnt like that. Then as i started to break up with her she asked me to stay with her so that she could win a bet with her mom that i wasnt breaking up with her

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Cayman
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reminds me of a girl I know... definitely something she would do.

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#147

I was on a date with a very boisterous and buxom girl who lived in one of the other houses my landlord owned. She seemed nice so I took her to a nice restaurant for dinner one evening. She never stopped talking!
I should say at this point that I had recently been commended at work for my honesty. At one point in the evening, my nerves frayed by the one sided conversation, she said her mother thought she talked too much, what did I think? My honesty ensured we never had a second date.

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#148

He asked me to wear a scarf on my head ! Screw that m out

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#149

When I was 19 I took my girlfriend to a local concert. She asked if she could bring a friend, which was fine as I was bringing some friends. Turns out the friend she brought was her boyfriend. To make matters worse there was another dude there that was her "boyfriend" too. All three of us broke up with her that night.

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#150

I was a young freshly single mom. He would literally race me to change my infant son's diaper. The third time we hung out, he asked, "soo what do you think about people who like get married really fast after meeting?" He insisted on meeting my parents, and I have never seen a grown ass man brown nose the way he did with my dad. New Year's Eve, while dad was in the bathroom, he basically, LOUDLY, in front of extended fam, said "hush babe, the men are talking." Boy, BYE.

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Cayman
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you. This is not a stupid reason. If someone told me to "hush babe, the men are talking." I would drop him faster than a hot potato.

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#151

She had a mole on her eyelid. Every time I kissed her I saw it when I was leaning in. I started having dreams that the mole was talking to me.... That was the end.

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Catalina Ioan
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't I see that exact plot on Friends, or Scrubs, or something of the sort? Also, if it bothered you that much, you're kind of a douche for hooking up with her in the first place. It's not exactly her fault, and I'm pretty sure moles are kind of a b***h to remove from eyelids, even if she wanted to.

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#152

He wouldn't use tongue when we made out. If I tried, he'd stop kissing me and teasingly say, "Put that tongue back in there."

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#153

I dumped him because we went on one date- ONE DATE- and halfway through that date, he started talking about how he feels what strong chemistry we have and how he knows we're gonna be together forever, we'll buy a house and get married and he'll adopt my young son... really creeped me out. So I dumped him and he blew up my phone daily for almost two months after.

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#154

He would always stare at me no matter what I did. We could be walking or he could be driving and he'd always have his neck craned down, staring at me. Turns out after I broke up with him he turned into a complete psychopath. Didn't surprise me one bit.

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#155

I was dumped because I was not "totally and completely" in love with him, after just 1 week. I told him to take it slow, he told me he couldn't be with someone who doesn't share his feelings... What f**king feeling after just 1 week ???

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#156

He said my hair was too short, and I needed to pull on it as often as possible every day to make it grow faster.

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#157

This guy and I were very much in love. We got along great and had alot of fun together. One day we had planned a really great day together but he never showed up. I called and ge was really distant with me. I asked him to come over so we could talk. He came over and he barely could look at me. I asked him what was wrong and ge started to cry. He said he had to break up with me because his mother told him he had to. He said his mother wanted him to go out with someone from their church.

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#158

He liked to make out with my ear more than he liked to make out with me. My ear! Heavy breathing, tongue and all. That one didn't last long.

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Jennifer Hunter
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ew. I'm all about a little lobe-nibbling here and there, but FFS I don't want a wet w***y with your tongue and your breathing is making me deaf. GTFOH!

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#159

He incorporated How I Met Your Mother into every aspect of his life. Like he did actual slap bets. He was constantly quoting the show. One day I was trying to have a serious conversation with him about my anxiety and depression and he had said something about how when he's sad he just stops being sad and is happy instead. Two weeks later I was watching HIMYM and seen an episode where Barney had said the exact same thing he had said to me. Nope. Done.

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#160

Laying in bed, naked, and the guy (who didn't tell me he was a virgin until afterwards) slips it in for all of three seconds beforehand finishing. I freak out since there was no condom and he turns to look straight into my eyes and says "don't worry, I'll be a great dad. I won't go anywhere." Thank God i wasn't pregnant and got the hell out it as fast as I could- changed my number, blocked him on everything, and never spoke to him again.

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with a Y and a Z
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she did'nt freak out coz of the virgin thing/that she didnt know him..it was becoz he didnt use a condom

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#161

When I was 12 I had my first girlfriend. I broke up with her because she tried to make out with me and I was scared because I never had. Fast forward a year, we were back together and I broke up with her again because she wanted to go all the way. 13 is too young, and I still stand by that decision.

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Cayman
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I 100% agree. Fast forward 7 years, she's in prison for selling drugs. Good choice.

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#162

She wouldn't change the volume on the TV to an even number. I mean how hard is it to put the TV on 30 instead of 29

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#163

Dude, one time this girl played with my dick hole and made it look like it was talking, while she imitated baby talk.

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#164

I found an open condom wrapper in his bathroom trash can. I confronted him and he said his cat was playing with the condom and probably poked a few holes. I left immediately because the condom was missing from the wrapper.

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#165

He wore lipstick.

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Alice Putt
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha! I had some guy steal my lipstick and brown eyeshadow. And I couldn't find those colors again. That was as he was already leaving for other reasons.

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#166

I was interested in this girl I worked with. Gave her a ride home one night and she invited me in. She had an 18-month old daughter, which I was okay with. While we were talking, the kid needed a diaper change, like a MAJOR #2 issue. She used the wet, crappy diaper as a wipe, nothing else, and left a lot of poo on the poor kid, then went right back to talking like it was no big deal. Nope! Bye, Felicia!

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#167

Her mouth made a trapezoid when she talked...

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#168

Funny, I just had a friend telling me stories of a guy who broke up with his girlfriends for petty reasons. Apparently he broke up with his most recent ex for two reasons:
1: She didn't know how to make scrambled eggs.
2: They were making hot chocolate in a pot, and she was moving it from the pot to her mug with a small spoon. One spoonful at a time.

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#169

On a dinner date he hawked up a big gob of mucus, pulled out his hanky & put it back into his pocket, Bon appetite ! You can't unsee that shit, even now it makes me want puke.

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#170

I met a guy on Tinder. On our first date, he took me to a pizza joint and told me he is a vegan but said I can still order what I like. I ordered one of the specialty meaty pizza only to have him criticize and try to convert me the rest of the night. I told him I had to rush for my train to get home and ghosted him since.

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#171

Local radio station had a similar line of questions and were talking calls a while back. I heard this girl explain that every time she was driving with her date, he would make squealing tire noses under his breath every time they turned. Always made me laugh thinking of that.

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#172

she left me because I was"mooching off of her and using her for her money." side note: I've never been unemployed for longer than a month since I was 15, work 50+ hours a week, and let her drive my brand new dream car for about 20,000 miles. she was unemployed on three separate occasions during the year and a half we were together, never helped pay for any of the bills, and I'm pretty sure she cheated on me. man I know how to pick them.

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Kenny Lawhorn
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could be projecting her opinion of herself onto you cause she can not deal with criticizing herself.

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#173

I got dumped because our sex life had really gotten bad...I wanted to more often then him (I'm a girl) and he didnt want to as often. I asked him why he never wanted to have sex and he told me if I lost weight he would want to more often (I was a little chubby but not huge by any means!) then we started working out together that week. He quit working out with me but I continued. About a week later I was still upset about him basically calling me fat...He told me I should 'just get over it'. Bye!

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#174

She walked too slow. We'd go out somewhere and walk down the street and I'd turn around and she's like 20 feet behind me.

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#175

She was allergic to peanut butter. Like really bad. If I was gonna see her I couldn't have peanut butter for the two days before. That's a life I don't want to live.

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Master Markus
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could deal with that, I don't like peanut butter. But I'm reminded of that Louis CK joke "Maybe if touching a nut can kill you, you're meant to die!"

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#176

I was dating two guys with the same name. It was getting confusing. So I dumped one. Been with the other for 27 years now.

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Z
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have thought that would make it easier, not harder. No chance of calling them by the wrong name!

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#177

He thought I looked like Cindy Crawford (even though I really don't) and would call me not by name but always Cindy.
He thought it was a compliment, I thought it was bullshit. So Cindy says bye bye.

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#178

I broke up with my ex because he wasn't only a big narcissist, who tought that he was the most funniest guy in the world. He made up really stupid songs about himself like "uncle Wes, uncle Wes, is the best" ( Wes is short for Wesley) and laugh. He was also very gross. For example he tought I would appreciate it to get pictures of is poop. Clearly I didn't.

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#179

I was broken up with when I was 20. She said I wasn't providing a good enough life for her. I had no family to speak of and literally started out on my own at 16 with just clothes. I talked to her about it and she wanted me to own a fully furnished nice house, a brand new car, and have daily maid service. Needless to say I didn't try to win her back when I found that out. Last I heard she was single and living with her mom almost 10 years later.

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#181

He smelled soo bad. I could smell his junk through his pant when I stood next to him. Also his teeth were super yellow. I took him to prom and he didn't smell and his teeth were whitish. So I figured he cleaned himself for once and really didn't care for his personal hygiene..

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Paula Swanson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is where a nice compliment can do wonders with a person self esteem and hygiene habits.

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#182

i met a cute guy in a club, we walked in the park after and kissed all night, was nice, so when he asked for date i said yes, before he arrived he called to say he had a surprise for me...i was thinking flowers, a romantic date planned, wine...but no...he brought his two year old daughter to meet me as 'she was going to be a big part of my life from now on'' ...i didnt even know his surname

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#183

Dated a guy that thought every sex session was a marathon...that required multiple breaks in order to "last longer." Ain't nobody got time for that. My vagina is much happier now.

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#184

Took her out for Steak and she plunged the fork in the middle of the Steak and started biting off chunks.

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#185

I looked at him, really looked at him from a distance, and realized that his head was just waaaay too big for his body. I spent the next two weeks trying to convince myself that it really wasn't that big, or that even if it was, I shouldn't care.
But I couldn't get it out of my head so...goodbye Big-head Steve, hello shallow Me.

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#186

Not me but a friend broke up with his last gf because "she chewed popcorn too loudly during movies". His nickname is Costanza now.

The-Fox-Says Report

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#187

She watched me play Halo and told me I wasn't as good as I thought I was.

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John L
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, you may not be after all. But what in Blue Blazes are you doing on a date, and playing a computer game? It says more about you than her.

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#188

I broke up with this girl because she was ready loud no matter where we were at, and she have an even louder laugh; one time we were at church an the priest said a funny comment that got some small soft laughs from the people, and then my ex laughed SO laugh than not only the congregation stared at us, but even the preist said: "we'll I'm glad that somebody really enjoyed my comment"

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#189

I had once a crazy possessive type of girlfriend who didn't trust me to even be in de next room with a bunch of people without her being there all clingy and coy. After almost two years of hell dating her, she wanted to get married and wanted me to propose to her one evening during dinner at a fancy restaurant. I was so desperate of a way out that I told her I have epilepsy and gave her a show of a grand seizure right there and then. Well never seen hide nor hair of her since.

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#190

I'm transgendered (F to M) and at 19, I was still a bit confused about myself. I needed to find out if I was into men AT ALL. Dated this guy for two months until I figured it out, I totally was not gay. Told him that I like girls and dumped him. Poor guy. He started dating men after that, so I guess everything turned out alright?

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#191

She was so jealous to my bestie (also a girl), so she asked me to stop my contact with her. I don't miss her

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Anna “annab” B
Community Member
Premium
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or find a woman who doesn't have such a fragile ego that she would expect you to drop your best friend...

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#192

He told me that he felt like I was always choosing my dog over him. It's a dog! He needs to be walked/fed/loved. I told him he was right.

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#193

Me Ex girlfriend smoked meth and laughed when she told me about it. Never again

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#194

His pregnant, soon-to-be baby's mom threw a brick at my windshield... That did it for me.

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#195

A guy asked me out to dinner, drove for an hour to a rundown looking kebab store that did the 'biggest kebabs ever' and despite my offering a few alternative options we went in and ordered. When the cashier rang up the price, no shit, this dude Faked a phone call and went and stood outside with one eye on the till until the second I had finished paying.

He then took my left overs home for his parents.

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BlondiieSammy
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so cheap! I don't ask a man to pay the whole bill, I like to pay half but they should at least offer!

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#196

She drank beer from a can through a straw. Not the only reason we broke up, but that was the straw that broke it.

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Catalina Ioan
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK, not the only reason, but a) you don't know where/how a can was stored, I can totally understand people not wanting to put their mouths directly on the exposed surface, and b) as a girl, I also drink most things with a straw because I don't like leaving my lipstick all over the place.

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#197

She tried to snuggle and be cute during Inception. Never once did she pay attention. Then it ended and she told me she hated it because it was too confusing. I never could let it go.

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Karl Kütt
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You really missed the "chill" part of Netflix and chill, mate :/

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#198

He wears Crocs and sweats. All the time. ALL THE TIME.

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SB
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always assumed Crocs were how one told the world they were celibate and intend to keep it that way

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#199

We were on a date in his car and had a flat tire. He didn't have Roadside Assistance and he didn't know how to change a flat tire on his own car. I ended up having to do it. I made him take me home right after that.

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#200

She would send me voicenotes of her singing along to movies and songs and then ask repeatedly if I was smiling or blushing while listening to the voicenotes. She constantly wanted me to react to things she did. I couldn't lie and say I found them annoying so I ended things.

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#201

One evening we were out for a drink. We're mid conversation (I'm mid-sentence) and he interrupts me to rap along to the song playing in the background. I had to wait for the song to finish before he would continue talking to me. It was an awkward few minutes.
I overlooked it at first (he may have just really loved that song) until it happened on 2 more separate occasions.

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#202

Dated a guy in high school for a couple of months. Ended it because his mother tried to say we were having sex and I was a bad influence. I was a virgin and remained so until I was out of college 7 years later

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#203

I met a guy at a party, and he took me outside to talk with me and all he wanted to do was get me to speak French to him. He didnt't speak French, but thought it was a romantic language. I told him "I like climbing trees".

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#204

I was the one who was broken up with. I was a sophomore in H.S and he was a Senior. I was still a virgin, he pulled his car into a cornfield and tried getting me to have sex with him. Logically I refused cause well we were in a car in a cornfield. He then slept with another girl and called me afterwards breaking up with me.

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#205

Once dated a guy that everytime I went to his house, he'd tell me everywhere that he banged his most recent ex.

Spolier: it was pretty much 90% of the house indoors and out.

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HUGH GASSOLE
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a friend that did this (mostly public places) until I threatened to tell the strangers around us

#206

Dated a guy for almost 2 years.when he finally had a day off we went to the beach, on the way out there he bought me a pickle.. well to me a pickle is not really beach food, so i didnt eat it then on the way home, we stopped to get food he noticed i didnt eat the pickle got pissed threw it on the roof of the place we had stopped at, i didnt even notice he did it till we got down the road and he told me. needless to say the argument continued and i left the next day, who gets mad at that ?

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#207

One day I realized she looked like Paul Dano and I couldn't unsee it. That was it.

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Master Markus
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's unfortunate. He's not like... specifically ugly in any way, just weird-looking. It's like how Mr. Hyde is described; he looks kind of wrong, but you can't really point out why.

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#208

He would literally forget about me. I was always waiting for at least 30 minutes at the place to be, then I called him and he was like "yeah I forgot sorry." Besides that he never texted me first (or texted back besides the 'lol' 'ok' kinda answers). Couldn't handle that.

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#209

He wanted us to crap in a bucket and use it for compost because "pissing and shitting in our own drinking water is barbaric." He was also building a mirrored dish to use the sun to heat rocks in to replace our furnace. We live in Utah.

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#210

I went on a date with with guy who ended up getting so wasted that he shot a snot rocket in the middle of the bar on to the floor, he then proceeded to pick up his booger and try to wipe it on another guys face almost getting beat up in the process. I left 10 minutes later.

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#211

He watched the Teletubbies to fall asleep. He was 37.

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#212

Ex fiancée and i took a trip to McDonald's where he ordered 2 quarter pounders and 20 nuggets, I got two double cheese burgers (one for later) shovelled his food down then I popped to the toilet, we go home, go for my other cheese burger a little later and he tels me "oh, I ate it when you went to the toilet in McDonalds!"

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#213

I found out through a mutual friend that she had BURNED A HOLE into a woman's arm, easily 2nd degree. A woman she considered to be her best friend. What pissed me off even more is that she tried to act like it was nothing. I have friends and family in law enforcement, so I was able to find out that somehow she was not called in. This tells me that she was a private residence, and there was a good chance the other woman's young daughter saw everything...

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#215

He listens only to his friends, my opinions don't matter.

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Pi...
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not ridiculous... It's valid... You deserve to date someone who weighs your opinion as much as his friends'.

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#216

Long story short, his friend ended up calling the police on him for trying to kill himself by jumping into oncoming traffic.
A few days later, I went to visit him at the mental hospital with his mom. The two of us stopped for lunch first where she told me "I know you two aren't going to end up staying together forever, would you mind breaking it off while he's in the mental hospital? It'd be better that way."
Well.. That wasn't my plan, but I loved his mom. So I did.

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Pi...
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sad... she probably didn't want him to deal with heartbreak on his own too... so asked you to do it where there were mental healthcare professionals around to offer him help to get thru it. I think you did a nice thing.

#217

He broke up with me because he read an article in Thought Catalog that told him I wasn't "the one".

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Pi...
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmmm.... the opposite happened to my friend. Her BF kept her on the hook for almost 6 years. And then said he'd marry her because of a book he read.... They're happily married now.

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#218

I ghosted because he would get so drunk he would fall asleep during sex. When he saw me a few years later he told me I "done him wrong" can't say how glad I am to have moped the hell out of there!

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#219

He spoke in memes.
MEMES.
If I happened to use a word in a sentence that was anywhere in any meme, he'd repeat the meme. If he wanted to communicate with me at all, it would be in meme form, tied in to a meme somehow, have a meme picture on it in a text or it would end with a meme.

He would also change everyone's name and rhyme it with 'goose'.
I couldn't introduce him to anyone.
By the time I was done with his shit I just wanted to shake him until his nose bled.

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Donna Leske
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"shake him until his nose bled." you should have. That's a great basis for a meme.

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#220

I had sex for the first time with a guy I was dating, he lasted TWO pumps. I nick named him..Two Pump Chump.
Second time he lasted THREE pumps, new nick name..Three Hump Chump.
There was never a third try!

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#221

The sex was tragically bad. I tried 3 times. First time, I could tell he wasn't interested in my pleasure so I "lent a hand" and got myself off. No biggie, right? I chalked it up to first-time jitters. Second time, I took a hands-off approach and gave him a chance to redeem himself. He left me hanging. Third time, I resigned myself to taking control of my own pleasure, but he reached down and pulled my hand away, finished, and then laughed at me. I was so stunned I ghosted him the next day.

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok... so, he does not give you pleasure, but you are not even allowed pleasure at all... I don't like ghosted because i'd rather give an explanation but considering the fact i would'nt have been as patient as you, i guess i will not blame you on that one ;p

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#222

I was dating a guy once who decided that in order for our relationship to go to the next level, I needed to be comfortable peeing in front of him. he was very insistent about it and me being very modest I was very insistent on not I told him to get his jacket we were leaving my house and he wanted to know where we were going. I told him that we were done and on my way taking him home he threatened to jump at 65 miles an hour if I didn't stop to talk it out. Go ahead and jump

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#223

My then boyfriend got fat and was insecure about it. His sollution was making others feel bad. On my birthday he said I shouldn't eat my birthday cake because I should be getting my body ready for summer. The cake stayed, he went.

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#224

We were on a date in the city, walking to our destinations throughout the day. Let me just say that in the start of the day he asked if he could put his drinks in my back pack so he didn't have to hold them all day, I have scoliosis and I say no so he just drinks them. Fast forward to afternoon after a lot of walking and awkward/inconsiderate conversations, and he tries to kick a pigeon that landed on the sidewalk in front of him. RUDE.
Yes, I ended it because he tried to kick a pigeon.

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#225

When my younger brother was in college he broke up with a girl for "cutting into his gaming time"

Cthulhuhoop Report

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#226

She pronounced it "supposibly".

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#227

He broke up with me because I was an intelligent model who was going to college in my free time. He said that he couldn't complete with any guy that came my way so why bother. 😒

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#228

During the three months we were dating, he called me by my name exactly once

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#229

I had a secret crush on this guy for over 3 yrs but never made a move cause it scared the shit out of me liking someone so much. He never knew that until I finally made my move and he was so happy at first but I convinced myself he is to good to be true and is full of shit and and started treating him like shit for no reason whatsoever. He was so nice he kept up with my shit 4 months and then finally had enough and ghosted me. I still have the crush on him and now realize I've been an idiot.

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#230

An ex broke up with me because I used words he couldn't understand... I am smart but I try not to be obnoxious. I don't remember what word it actually was, however, I joke that it was words like- trust, love, fidelity.."

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#231

The first time I went to his parents house I overheard his mother say to him, so she's your latest victim? she seems much more mentally pliable than your last conquest, hopefully you'll have better luck this time.
Has to be the creepiest thing i've ever heard anyone say in real life.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say it too to my son - I like to make such jokes. Irony.

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#232

When she was thisty, she would take a sip of water from the glass, lower the glass, move the water around in her mouth, then sallow. Repeat that for like 10 times until she drank all the water. Drove me motherf*cking nuts watching her do that, she even did it when she was super thirsty.

Tirfing88 Report

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#233

When making tea, she didn't stir it, but clanked the spoon noisily against each side of the cup repeatedly.

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#234

I once broke up with a guy because he legit thought he was a dragon. I was half tunned out on the phone since he called when sailor moon was on. He started up with this "Im a dragon and you're a dragon. We're both dragons and that's why we get along so well". I wasn't paying to much attention but when he brought be a dragon pendant to school the next day, that was pretty much it.

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Kenneth Corley
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could he have been referring to the Chinese horoscope? Look up what year you were born in and see. If so, you really owe an apology to him.

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#235

Kindergarten: He proposed with a grape candy ring. It tasted like Advil.

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#236

He took me to his favorite restaurant, Red Robin, and half way through his beer started crying about his dead ex-girlfriend.

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Jeanne Deaux
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He is better without you... You were selfish, he obvioulsy needed to talk about it, he needed someone to listen to him and you dumped him.

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#237

his penis was smaller than a tampon

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Jennifer Yeh
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, in all seriousness, one doesn't need to have a big penis to satisfy another person. Thus why toys exist. And who's to say that he wasn't talented with his hands or... so yeah.

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#238

My ex had an ex that thought she was legit a wolf. She told him she was going to change him. Later found out he was cheating on me with her. I laughed and left.

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#239

He once compared himself to lion and the rest of the world as sheep. He was the lion because he was brave, majestic and didn't 'go with the heard'

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#240

He kept saying "honesty speaking" and kept interchanging the pronunciation of his p's, f's, v's and b's.
"Can you flease fut the fafer in that tavle?"
"I want to eat prench pries"
"Your shirt is bery fink"

Drives me nuts.

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#241

Started dating a guy I had known for years. First time we had sex, as he came he jumped backwards completely off the bed. One second mid thrust, the next second standing at the foot of the bed. WTF dude? I mean, I'm not a big cuddler, but that is pretty extreme. He said "that's how I always do it". Last time he ever did it with me.

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#242

One of my favorites bands was coming to town and my boyfriend refused to take me. He said it was too violent and loud for a girl. I broke up with him and went by myself. He got beat up in the mosh pit, I came home unscathed.

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#243

Guy broke up with me the Monday we got back to school. The reason? On Friday at the school football game I was at with my friends, I didn't go up and introduce myself to his parents. We weren't even dating yet. He had asked me out that Friday night after the game and ended it Monday because his mom didn't like that I didn't introduce myself.

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#244

She thought the Smithsonian museum was called the Smismonian. She also messed up every common saying. "Liar liar pumpin eater"..."Her personality changed so much. She made a complete 360". Just about every saying was messed up in some way.

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#245

We were together for 3 1/2 years. He broke up with me because he wanted to know what it was like to be single (we got together in 11th grade.) We stayed friends and in four months he had 10-12 one-night-stands and kept going to the strip clubs. Then he got it for rape. He is now on Megans List as a plea to not get a felony.

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#246

I told him I was a Christian. He took me to a revival on our first date. A southern Baptist one at that. I'm non denominational in blue jeans outside in 85° weather. The pastor was basically throwing the bible at me and some others because we weren't in "church clothes". If I didn't know what real christians looked like I wouldn't be in church today..never seen or replied to any of his messages again

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Pi...
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get it... Are Christians not supposed to wear jeans to church?

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#247

"I seen it. It's done floated to the bottom". I knew right then that it would never work.

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#248

In highschool I dated a drop out who threw wild parties had tons of friends. Turns out he had friends because he had parents that didn't care and an unsupervised house for drinking and drugs. He was actually super awkward and unhygienic. He'd invite me over and leave me sitting in the dark while he put on head phones and watched anime at his computer desk. Turns out I was just a title.

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#249

I met a guy online and after having spoke with him for about 2 weeks over the phone we decided to meet. Exactly three days after we met he professed his undying love for me. He also admitted to being bipolar but anybody swears love that quickly I run

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#250

When making out, he put his mouth over my entire mouth (think C.P.R.) and sucked on my lips. I looked like I had done the Kylie Jenner lip challenge when it was over.

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#251

He would call me while he was on the toilet to tell me he was taking a dump.

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SB
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he just wanted a BFF ... Best Fecal Friend?

#252

He picked the t-shirt fluff from his belly button and ate it

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#253

She would do absolutely anything I would tell her to do. Sounds great right? No, shit got so boring. It was like dating a servant. That, and she had really small teeth, freaked me out.

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#254

(Not mine, but my friend, Tyler's story)
Tyler's boyfriend moaned his mums name during sex. At first, Tyler thought his boyfriend was drunk, but he realised that his boyfriend was with him for the whole week.
Tyler broke up with him about 2 days later.

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Pi...
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was Tyler's boyfriend moaning Tyler's mum's name or his own mum's name? Either way... brrr!

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#255

She can't even move on from her ex after 4 years parting ways

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Pi...
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It takes time for some ppl to move on... Sadly, the bitterness gets transferred to the rebound guy or girl. This is perhaps the biggest STD out there... remorse and unrequited love.

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#256

We were dating for maybe two months, and he had a booger in his nose. He breathed to hard and it blew out and onto my arm. I couldn't get the image out of my head, and ended the relationship a couple weeks later because of it. He ALWAYS had boogers in his nose. Smh.

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Anja Henriksen
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he had for a reason, like my kiddo, who have a respiratory disease, that cause chronic boogers, and just looks like he doesn't care for removing it. Sometimes the reality isn't that freaking simple.

#257

He called me at least 5 times the morning after we hooked up. Kept asking me if I woke up, what I was doing, if I wanted to see him, when I was going to wake up and go out. I had nothing to do that day so I just wanted to sleep in and not be bothered.
I told him it wasn't going to work out for me that afternoon, it wasn't pretty...

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#258

He left because we had a scare. He said he was too young and wasn't ready. Then a couple later his girlfriend now wife was pregnant lmao ok. Make perfect sense.

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#259

Found out that he got fired from one job, then in an emotional outrage quit the other. CAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE. Side note: I found out from hid friends that he was jobless three months after he lost his job..

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Kenny Lawhorn
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I do not approve of my so's work/work history time to get rid of them.

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#260

so, i was dating this guy for like 2 weeks. One day he comes by my house and we hang out for a bit... Night comes and he tells me that he's gotta go home. He calls his mother and says:
-Hey mom, are u good?
- Yeah and you? Do you need something ? ( i could hear her speaking because the volume was a bit up.
-Hey! can u pick me up at -my name- 's house?
And she replied : hmm.. Can you remind me which one is -my name- ?
I got up from my chair and just said with : u can leave bitch

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#261

I had orders to afghanistan. She asked if she could visit me there. I told her it was a war torn country, so she asked if we could just meet up on the weekends in a neighboring country. I told her not a chance. She told me to quit my job in the military so we could move to the mountains, live off the land, and raise children.

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#262

He didn't like giving but love receiving.
Every time we had sex he would say "don't be mad if I cum quick"
He didn't like foreplay either, he'd just stick his dick in me and assume it was comfortable. Then after 2 minutes of lousy performance he'd get off and fall asleep.no orgasim of me, after the second time I avoided sex with him and broke up with him a week later

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#263

First date we went bowling. He annoyingly made a big deal about me beating him. Second date we went skating. He fell and said I was a bad person for not turning around to go back and pick him up. He waited to take me to dinner for the third date because "at least I can't beat him at that" . I'm, nope. Didn't realize it was a competition. I ghosted him.

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#264

A boyfriend in high school that I dated was drunk at my house while I had a house party. He got so sloppy drunk he could barely stand. Well, the lightweight went to go pee in the bathroom and I heard a commotion so I went in to see what was going on. Turns out while he was trying to piss with his pants fallen to his ankles, he pushed out a sloppy wet shart ALL OVER the bathroom wall behind him. He was attempting to clean it up with the hand towel but it was clumpy and corny. BYE BYE!

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#265

We lived two hours apart, he didn't have a car and lived with his mom so I would drive down once a week and bring him back to my place overnight. He would bitch at me for smoking in my car, and then put chew in his mouth and spit into an empty bottle like a fucking heathen. He would do it in my apartment too and every time I took the trash out it smelled like mint chew spit. The last straw was when he left a spit bottle in my car and didn't close it all the way. Had to deep clean my carpets.

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#266

While going down on him, I smelled his pre-ejaculate and it stank! Couldn't have sex with him after that.

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b m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is this a ridiculous reason? It's a pretty legit reason.

#267

We went on our first date to a semi-fancy restraunt. I of course paid. She wanted wine i said ok but i dont really drink. She proceeded to order a whole bottle, $60, and drank the whole thing herself. I drive her home and she wanted me to come inside for "desserts". I declined, she was plastered and barely lucid. I decided to give her a second chance. She told me over diner that we were third cousins, and named the connection. She then said that she was still interested if i was......

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SB
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats crazy, are you saying they have $60 wines in West Virginia ?

#268

Met a guy online, really sweet and funny. Eventually met, his picture was obv old! He wasn't as cute n he was roughly 3- 4 stone heavier (which wouldn't bother me, but heads up). 1st date, went for coffee, wen the bill came he said oh BTW, im really short, are u OK to get this. Any time we met, i went to his and bought everything. Train and a trek! On leaving was always dark, never once offered to walk to the station (thru a bad area too) bye bye!!!

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Donna Leske
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where's the "really sweet and funny" part? Sounds like a selfish, slippery, cheap loser to me.

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#269

We passed by the Berlin Zoo wall that is picturing a heard of rhinos. He said those were hippos and he wasn't joking. He was born in Germany and both of his parents are African. He couln't tell the difference between rhinos and hippos. I broke up with him that evening.

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#270

In high school, my boyfriend dumped me out of the blue. He told me it was because I made him feel like a Half Elf. I still have no idea what that means and neither did he when I asked him a decade later.

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Annabelle Onion
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may have been a reference to a video game called Tales of Symphonia. Half-elves are the offspring of a Human and an Elf. Half-elves were discriminated against by both Humans and Elves.

#271

He actually broke up with me but I dodged a bullet. I had a pregnancy scare and he ghosted for a couple months, he was constantly flirting with other girls, and he eventually moved away and married the girl he told me was "just a friend" after getting her pregnant. Yeah, I'm onto better things.

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#272

Was dating this girl for a few days, she texted me from her mother phone because her's was broken or something. Anyway, the Saturday I was on my way to a family function when her mother called me, accusing me of kidnapping her daughter. Turns out she went to a party and used me as an excuse.

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#273

Whenever I wanted to spend some time with my family, he would always say "so you love your family more than me?".

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#274

It was my junior year, my ex said he was going to get my named tattooed on him, I laughed it off and told him I would break up with him if he did that. The next week we were together on a trip he was wearing shorts and sure enough on the back of his calf was my name. We were dating for a month. I broke it off when I saw it. He was nuts. To top it off four years later he messaged me right before his wedding and said he was still in love with me.

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#275

He asked to wear his deceased wife's lingerie and had started introducing me as the new "her"!!!!

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#276

I got dumped, because I spun out on black ice coming home from work party. I came home crying and bleeding with a concussion. When he saw the damage to my car he said at that moment he "knew it was over". Oh, did I mention he lived with me for three years and never helped pay one single bill? He also said the fact that i was never home was part of the reason he was leaving. I worked two full time jobs to support his lazy ass. Him leaving was the best thing to ever happen to me.

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Donna Leske
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You did the right thing - but way too late. For me if you EVER used the phrase "Oh, did I mention" if would be over for us.

#277

She used to Fast Forward through the opening credits of Game Of Thrones.

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#278

She married and divorced young, had twin boys, and one died of SIDS. That was OK. What wasn't OK was her having her 5 year old son (the surviving twin) call her by her first name.

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Colin Bayler
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF? Those kinds of parent/child relationships scare the hell out me as well.

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#279

I once dated a girl who didn't belive in Jesus, but also didn't belive in eveloution.. she would just say that we just are, we appeared and humans and plants and animals just always have been.. we would argue on this one topic for weeks untill I eventually broke it off!

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#280

I agreed go out with a guy when I was 17, as soon as I said yes he started saying he was going buy me a new phone (he said mine wasn't good enough) that soon became him saying he was going to marry me and kids etc, he didn't go my college but turned up to every break, texted and rang me constantly, actually got an ex who was on my course to end it for me, he came back in half hour later telling me the guy had been crying on his shoulder saying he loved me, (we went out for a WEEK)

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#281

We went to a burger shack and ordered two burgers. Both arrived at the same time, and he reached out to my plate and took the first bite out of MY BURGER! I said: "You're the worst person I know in my entire life" and never look back.

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#282

So, I broke up with a guy because we had a fight over which team would win the IPL (it was so not a big deal, but became one) and instead of just waiting it out and letting the best team win he kept insulting the team I liked.

My team did win the finals #BitchSlap

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#283

I went on a date with with guy who ended up getting so wasted that he shot a snot rocket in the middle of the bar on to the floor, he then proceeded to pick up his booger and try to wipe it on another guys face almost getting beat up in the process. I left 10 minutes later.

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b m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wasn't this story already told a few numbers above?

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#284

Multitude of errors here:
1) Alls. As in "Alls I said was...) NOPE
2) came like he was performing in a porn. NOPE
3) used a John Hughes movie plot line (Pretty in Pink) as his own to explain his social woes -- thinking I wouldn't know what was up. As a child of the 80s I found this hysterical and offensive. NOPE

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#285

My ex-husband left me because his mother told him to. He went to hide out in her house and sent me a message on Facebook saying he wanted a divorce... so classy...

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#286

Dated one guy for about 8 months who had the most obnoxious laugh and would randomly say phrases from movies and video games throughout the day. We'd be mid-conversation and he'd suddenly go "Metal Gear!" In a deep voice. Didn't break up with him for these things specifically, but they certainly added to it.

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#287

He wanted me to quit my job & "let him take care of you". I had a better job & made more money then him. He wanted to make me dependant on him. I didn't of course & he said I wasn't available enough to him, started a long string of fights. He really just wanted another mommy though.
HE ended up breaking up with me so he could date his drug dealer's fat sister who already had 2 kids. Four months later he calls to lament how she is pregnant & had dumped him. She ended up getting an abortion.

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#288

He prefered sweet over spicy. I'm talking food and generally. Whenever we were at it and I tried to get naughty, he just said "You're looking for trouble" yet trouble was nowhere to be found.
Boooooring.

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#289

Me and this girl took a break after a year together because family didn't want us together. Few months go by and she wants to try again and see if it will work out. Didn't even last three days before she said she wanted me to get "tested" because she didn't believe me when I said I didnt date anyone else. Ended it right then and there.

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an dante
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smart girl, as the Arabic saying goes 'trust in God ,but tie up your camel'

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#290

My ex broke up with me because he didn't want kids. I'm infertile

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#291

I recently broke up with a guy I'd been with for 11 years. This was the 3rd and last time. After the 2nd time, he promised to quit drinking and he did. Unfortunately, he's an even bigger asshole when he's sober. Got mad because we dropped a tree he'd been talking about doing for 3 years. He's never home and complained nothing was getting done. This year we started doing stuff and he got pissed because we didn't "consult" with him. I think he's going through "Manopause" because nothing suited him

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Pete Marino
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who's we? "we" dropped a tree? "we" didn't consult? Did You have another guy at the time? A mouse in your pocket?

#292

Someone actually broke up with me because Jesus told him too lol

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#293

I dated a guy that lived in another state for a couple of months. I work the night shift and would drive 8 hours to see him on the weekends. It was all good for the first month or so but then he would start saying things like you don't really like me do you? Or he would disappear for literally days at a time and then be upset if I questioned him about it. When I spoke to his sister she said oh he must be off of his medications. He was bipolar and it was like dating two different people

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#294

In highschool, my bf at the time came to see me at my boarding school. It wasn't the weekend yet, and he didn't have a place to stay. I insisted on him staying with my sister who was an hour drive away. A week later, my sister calls me and tells me that they did the 'dirty deed' at her place. I didn't believe her, until HE told me OVER TEXT. TWO weeks later.

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#295

He let his younger brother call me mum. Nope.

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#296

I was seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and we were just hanging out lying on my bed talking and then all of a sudden he started dry humping my leg like a dog. Even made dog noises panting with his tongue out! Needless to say I was not amused and didn't see him again!

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#297

I'm Australian, he's Afghan. His parents refuse to accept me and will disown him if he didn't break up with me :(

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b m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah but that's kind of a serious cultural reason. We are looking for funny reasons in this thread.

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#298

This was while he was working as a heavy duty tow truck driver. I rode with him for the day and he had to go after we dropped off a truck to the yard, he goes behind the building and comes back excited and says he has to show me something, he brings me through the yard to the back of the building to show me his pile of sh**! Like he was proud of it or something! Before this, while we were at his place, he would "forget" to flush, I didn't realize it was intentional. Gross.

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#299

I once broke up with a woman who had no job and (seemingly) no income. She takes me and my daughters out to breakfast and pays with cash. I asked her where she got the money. She nonchalantly says, "I sold some of your prescription pills last night." A drug dealer? Not in My house.

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#300

He was a big child. Lived at home with his mom at 35. Couldnt kiss at all! When i broke it off he started crying and put his mom on the phone to talk me out of it.

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#301

I had a fling with a girl for a few weeks last year. As we kept hanging out, I started getting messages from her mom and sister. They tons me she had run away from home, stolen their car and that the name I caked her by wasn't even her real name. Also turned out she was trying to get pregnant so she could trap me. After ending it, showed up at 1 am with cookies to get me back. I declined. She threw them. Room mate ate them and had a horrible case of the shits. Good times...

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b m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plottwist: The messages you got weren't from her mother and sister, but from her other personalties ...

#302

I dated this girl who took a big dump in my toilet. It was the biggest I have ever seen.... that's right, she didn't flush, she showed me. I was intimidated and scared and f**king grossed out.

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#303

Had a girlfriend who acted innocent and sweet for a really long time. Once we started saying I love you to each other she revealed that she was a prostitute who like bondage and a bunch of old men. That ended anything I ever had for her.

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#304

I went on a coffee date once with a girl who seemed a little off....then she told me in conversation how she had a room in her house that she let her dogs go to the bathroom in so she didnt have to take them out all the time. Quickest cup of coffee ive ever had.

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#305

Went out one night with a guy I dated for pizza and beer. We went back to my place to fool around. I excused myself to use the restroom when I returned to my room there was vomit everywhere...i asked if he was ok he said yes so I asked him to clean up his mess but he refused. So of course I dumped him that evening.

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#306

Broke up with the older guy I was seeing because he went crazy.. He was all fine and lovely but afew months in he started to go weird. He thought the world was ending and would spend all day in the dark you tubing conspiracy videos. He started to make legit list and plans but when he said my fur baby (a black lab) would have to learn to like the taste of blood and would have to have his teeth sharpened I put my foot down and got the hell out. #survied #loco #saywhat

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#307

He wouldnt ever brush his teeth! I even would say "I'm bored lets go brush our teeth" he would have some reason that he couldnt.... soo grossss

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#308

Met him at a club (my place of work at the time) seemed very nice. Went for a date He said he needed to go back to his, would I come with him for a time so he could get hiself a clean pair of trousers (should really have been my first indicator). His flat was filthy, he smoked a spliff even though I told him I wasn't into that and then threw his cat against the wall. Needless to say I never went with him again.

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#309

Had to end when he would squeeze spots out of his face at the meal table , line the findings up on the cutlery and stare at it to see if it moved!!! Yes he still used the cutlery .....ugh

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#310

We were in 10th grade, and he cheated on our chemistry test. Dishonesty? Always a deal breaker. Good job 15 year old me.

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#311

She bought me a sweater and showed up at my work to give it to me. We had only been dating for a week or so.

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Lara B.
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG!!! HOW COULD SHE?! That is just a horrible thing to do! Seriously?! Grow up, mate!

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#312

Anytime a cat walked into her line of sight (we're lesbians, there's always a cat around), she would go 'kitty!' Didn't matter if she was in the middle of saying something or if I was talking about something. It just popped out of her mouth. I couldn't handle it.

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#313

She said 'Do I make you horny ' while we were going at it

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#315

Once I had met a boy at a local bar, I was looking for a new rent and he offered me the other room in his place. We got drunk and have a one night stand in his room. In the morning I woke up to his smell... till this point I did not realize this extremely salty smell. I went home and we continued the conversation on facebook. Soon he came out: he is in love vith me so bad. ILater he confessed, that was his strategy to frighten off girls. It worked.

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#316

I broke up with a guy cuz his eyelashes were super long like Everytime we kissed I could feel them on my cheeks like a butterflies wings, another guy wore socks with his sandles I just couldn't handle that.

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#317

One time he willing compared himself to American pyscho... he liked to look at himself in the mirror during sex and moisturised daily

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#318

My ex-husband broke up with me because I had no more libido after a few years (I was depressed and was struggling with mental illness the whole time we knew each other.) I also hid the fact that I had started smoking again. When he found out he said I should have asked him if it was ok. So I did. And he said no, it was not okay with him. Like, I should stop because he didn't like it. Something about that didn't sit well with me. Next boyfriend couldn't handle mental illness. I'm single now.

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#319

He gave my left overs away. Not to a needy person or anything... just to some guy in our dorm. Didn't even bother to ask smh

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#320

For my birthday she gave me a mint Janis Joplin record and tickets to see Live at the Parc. I couldn't be happier!
Night of the concert, as we walked into the Parc, Live starts playing 'Lightning Crashes' stopping me in my tracks to listen to it. I find it one of the most intense, emotional songs. She starts talking to me and I asked her "please not now'. She continued anyway, even after a few of my beggings. I broke up on our way home...

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#321

He would sneak up and grab my boobs from behind- and make idiotic noises like "beep beep". Oh...and he snored. My toenails curl thinking about him.

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#322

Had a gf who broke up with me because her father died. one year later she wanted to be back together. we arranged a date, called her house to check if she was ready. Guess who answered the phone

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#323

Met a guy for lunch near my house . When he rocked up , he said he already ate , even though he's the one who suggested lunch . Asked to go for a walk. We ended up at a bus stop , while he sat on his phone . After twenty minutes he got up and said he's gonna go walk to the next bus stop and walked off . Later told me to add pics of my body next time . I told him I was a larger girl , but what's funny is he had a brown tooth and apparently just lost 20 kilos but still had man boobs lol

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#324

I broke up with a girl because missionary was the only mover in her repertoire. I was ok with it initially after a few weeks that shit got old. She also started talking nonstop about moving in together i just kind of ignored it. The final straw was her coming over for a booty call after work and the body odor was a complete turn off that i had to recommend an emergency shower after that i couldn't fathom an eternity with a woman whose scent was 10 times worse than mine.

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#325

He couldn't pronounce the word Pterodactyl nor hadn't any idea what it was.

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#327

Never really dated the guy, but we chatted once for about 20 minutes. I was a senior in High School, and he played football for a local college. He was nice enough, but I wasn't interested. Next day he starts calling incessantly. I'm talking multiple times a day. Calling my house. My parents answering the phone. I always tried to politely cut the calls short. After about 3 days I told him to cool it. He cried on the phone. Dodged a bullet there.

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#328

in you early twenties I broke up with a guy i had just started seeing. IT had been two weeks and sex lasted 30 seconds. That included forplay. I'm sorry... sometimes too early, really is too early!
Never called him again.

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#329

He lived about an hour away by train and I was tired of spending all my money on transportation and then this concert came up with one of my favorite artists and so I decided to spend my money on the concert instead of visiting him. He then aksed me when I was comming to visit and I had to tell him I won't be comming anytime soon, in fact never again.

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#330

He had a full beard, but shaved the rest of his body from the neck down. When we finally got naked together I lost it in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

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#331

This isn't a break up story so much as its a never even got started story. My friend liked this girl at a coffee shop we always stopped in while walking to work. One day he finally got the courage to ask her out and he was so surprised when she said yes that he told her he was kidding, turned and ran out of the shop. She looked at me and I was just like I don't know. 6 months later, we still walk the long way to work cause he's too embarrassed to walk by that coffee shop

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Jennifer Hunter
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you know what really happened, why not step in for him and go tell her what happened?! At least then she's not left hanging, thinking that he's an inconsiderate jerk for pretending to ask her out. Could be the love of his life! My husband was so stunned when we first met that he forgot his own name; literally stood there stumbling and stuttering and couldn't say it. I found it endearing, and was totally flattered. She could find his sudden shy moment endearing too.

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#332

This is her breaking up with me. We dated for a few months. She was going to be a senior in high school and I had graduated the year before. She said she just couldn't go through her senior year being tied down. She had something like 3 abortions that year. Must've been a really fun senior year.

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b m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what is the ridiculousness of her reason? She just wanted to have much sex with many different people and a relationship would have been an obstacle for that goal. Seems logical to me.

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#333

Dated this gorgeous Latina girl. One, I don't like Latinas, and I'm Latino. Well, apparently I forgot our "third month anniversary" and I broke her heart? She forgave me... Then both her and her mom asked me if I watched porn and masterbated to it! She let her mother ask me such a weird question and didn't back me up or something. After that, her mom wanted me to sign a contract to marry her daughter. I was 18 and her daughter was 16. I'm 22 now and haven't dated a Spanish chick since...

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#334

In a same sex relationship with a girl who didn't believe in bisexuals. Literally said they were a myth and I was lying to her and trying to be "difficult" to piss her off. Ironically caught her cheating with a guy friend.

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#335

She was basically an adult child. She still lived at home, didn't have her driver's license, and refused to eat anything other than macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a 40-something years-old friend you is similar. She keeps asking her parents for permission to do something and every decision she needs to take. It is so sad.

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#336

I was 19 and seeing someone 7 years older then me. We were together about 5 months and it was going well, we saw each other quite regularly. One day we were supposed to meet and he said he had a problem with his car so we didn't (fair enough). That's the last I heard from him til 3 months later. I tried calling and texting so many times with no reply. He said he left because he was falling for me and he was afraid. We didn't get back together because I couldn't trust him after that.

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#337

Dated a guy who had an annoying way of making out. He insisted on kissing my teeth. Every time I'd try to kiss him he'd dodge me and make out with my two front teeth instead. Super awkward, had to drop that one.

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#338

We were dating only couple of months. Once he had problems with his stomach; he was reading a lot on website's you know 'pain of stomach? you have a CANCER'
He claimed has problems because of stressing him and now he is sick because of me.
It was only reflux, numbskull.

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#339

Didn't even get to dating this guy. Hung out once after bar, talked for a few days. Then he decided to tell me every thing, like total emotional dumping of everything. Stopped talking to him, few months later ruin into him at the bar. He tried to explain my feelings to me, and got pissed when I told him to shut up. Never again with the younger guys.

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#340

I was engaged to n man about 20 years my senior.
He worked as an expat in Africa.
One morning at around 05h00 I got a message: "Mam, why is my daddy ignoring us?"
Turns out he was married before and had 2 kids he never told me of.

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#341

I one dated this guy, I was 18 and he was 27, he got pissed of one day because he wanted to stare into my eyes for long periods of time and it was weird to me. He threatened to tell my mom we were having sex and proceeds to tell me he messaged her. I wanted proof and he said no. He was so weird and clingy. If I checked fb before messaging him he'd call me a bitch. Dodged a major bullet.

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#342

This might be shallow but ive been a chef my entire adult life. Met this girl through mutual friends went to an expensive steakhouse like 100 dollars for 2 people not including drinks and appetizer. She precedes to order the most expensive steak on the menu EXTRA WELL DONE. Like tells the waiter if you think its well done cook it longer. Slathers ketchup over everything on her plate. Literally trying not to throw up. I mean come on who orders a 90 day dryaged porterhouse well done

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SB
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would've left before the waiter finished taking the order. Good riddance and not even a little bit shallow.

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#343

I broke up with him for: He was a bit older than me and would constantly remind me of that fact. I couldn't possible understand something because I'm a little girl (I was 25). Why was the new Star War casting a black man as a lead ("It's a white universe!"). He would drink constantly and mock me when he got drunk. He was absolutely garbage in bed. He would get angry and tell me I was stupid then accuse me of calling him stupid. When I tried to break up, he would cry on his knees. Just... Ugh...

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#344

This happened in the late 70's. I borrowed my older brother's Porsche 911. When she saw the car she asked if I was going to get a new car why didn't I get a Trans-Am. Like the bandits.
Very short date, no second one.

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#345

One time I went on a first date with this guy I met working at the exhibition. We end up in this scummy area of the city where he takes me to a park. I question as to why we're there. He proceeds to light a huge joint, green out after a few puffs , vomit cheesies right next to my leg and then fall asleep. I got up and left, avoided him for the remaiming 2 weeks left of the exhibition.

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#346

Was dating this guy for a few months, was never interested in more than kissing. One day he saw my birth control pills in my bedroom and asked what they were for. I told him it was birth control and he didn't know what that was. He was 24 years old. Nope.

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#347

I once broke up with a guy because hew composed a beautiful love poem for me. To be fair, he wrote it in his own blood. He said it was a love spell to keep us together.

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#348

He told me he loved me on our first official date and after only about a week talking...then when I asked him to take me home he refused and drove around for 3 hours. Then he showed up woth flowers the next day to apologize...Needless to say I told him to leave and never talked to him again.

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#349

The night after the first time we slept together (which embarrassingly wad the day after we met) he called me to say he couldn't sleep without me by his side and then sang me a love song. The next day his mom started calling me to "check on me" and make me feel like part of the family. Less than a week later he dropped the L word on me... I ghosted.
3 days later he was in a Facebook official relationship.

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#350

She told me that she hate System of a Down (my favorite band) and her favorite bands were Avenged Sevenfold and Bring Me The Horizon (two bands I hate).

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#351

I found his socks and underwear in my dryer, he didn't live with me.

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#352

There's a lot of things he had done that were pretty narcissistic and sociopathic but when he dumped me (After I called him on the phone and his other girlfriend picks up) he said, "I will come back for you after 4 years. When you're more mature and improved. I also just want a baby so I'll get a girl pregnant, take the child and then come back for you." Uhm, no you won't cause I've been long gone, psycho!

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#353

She said she didn't like kissing girls. Joke's on her! I'm trans.

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#354

I dated a guy for a couple of weeks. He refused to eat any vegetables and was very picky about other things. I knew it wasn't going to work when he strained a jar of Ragu to get the tiny pieces of vegetables out.

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Kori K. Warriner
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't date a guy who doesn't eat vegetables...I love them too much.....

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#355

I was seeing this older guy for about a year then out of the blue he broke up with me (the day before my birthday). 2 days later he wanted to get back together so I asked why we split in the first place and it was because he didn't buy me a birthday present. No thanks!

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#356

I once dated a guy that thought it was funny and cool to do disgusting things and point out gross things making everything awkward. One day he licked his cats eye saying that it was dirty. I started gagging as i said i was done and never talked to him again.

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#357

she insisted I try mushrooms. I politely said no thanks. SO she snuck one in my food. I'm allergic. Awkward trip to turn ER. Last time too.

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#358

She was convinced I was in love with her ex and was going to cheat on her by having sex with him all the time. I'm straight and hadn't spoken to her ex in over a year. She ended up saying she would stay with me if I admitted my 'undying love' for this dude and that's the point I left.

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#359

He scolds me for chasing my dreams, for staying in a location far from him, for donating to charity, ignoring me while out with his friends, blames me for having emotions. Basically scolds me for everything I do

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Jacquie Carr
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He can't do it if you're not with him any more. The longer you stay with him, the more you're telling him that his behaviour is acceptable to you

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#360

I dated a guy for over a year. During one of our hangout and game days I noticed he was sitting on the couch funny only to realise he was chewing his toenails. He ate any toe junk he found underneath too. Never spoke to him again.

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#361

1st date we went to grand lux cafe. The waitress told him they didn't have any more hot wheat rolls. He shouted oh my God! He then folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them. She started apologizing perfusely to this BIG grown baby. Finally I snapped out of shock and she walked away. #checkPlease

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#362

Went on one date with this girl in college. All she could talk about with me was black culture, as if she was trying to educate me. Im white and i have deep respect for my black friends, but i cant stand being preached to. The date ended with an argument over whether or not Eminem was really a rapper or not because he's not black. I had to move seats in class the next day cause she sat next to me.

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#363

He found it amusing to pee on me while I was in the shower and laughed about it EVERY SINGLE TIME. He would then call me "boring" because I didn't find it amusing. I put up with him for 4 and a half years. Leaving was the best decision I ever made

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#364

I dated a guy who wore his boxers a month straight and he smelled funky.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why dating a whole month? I would leave much, much earlier!

#365

Dated a girl who after one beer got the spins. She went into the bathroom with her friends help to take a shower. Her friends told me to go in there. She was very drunkenly trying to convince me to have sex with her as she bent over puking. It came out both ends. She still wanted to have sex. I turned around and walked out the door.

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#366

I was with my fiancé for about a year and a half when I got pregnant. When I told him, he said he didn't care if I kept it or not. That should have tipped me off. Fast forward eight months and he goes to a music festival and brags about all the bands he is seeing, knowing full well I was dying to go. When he gets back he tells me he slept with someone else while he was there because 'I was fat and she was who he should have chosen.' Turns out we had been in competition from the very beginning.

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#367

He would always interrupt a story I was sharing or a discussion I was having because it "reminded" him of something..... His story/topic would NEVER be related.

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#368

She used to steal my DVD's...

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#369

This was my first boyfriend in high school. I hate to sound so shallow but...sideburns. He had huge bushy sideburns that looked like Ambrose Burnside but without the mustache. He was also obsessed with anime to the point where he managed to bully me into becoming the secretary of the anime club and his family ran like a llama farm or something. So he had that funky smell on him. So I broke up with him claiming that I just wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship.

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#370

She seemed alright. One week in. "I love you." My dumbass replied back with the same. Shouldn't have said it. 1 1/2 month into the relationship she starts going through my phone and asking about some names. Most are family and my best friend who is a hardcore lesbian. Then one morning I was talking to my landlord, (practically family) the grandmother tells me that this girl told her that she wanted me to propose by June, married a week after, start on kids! First time I did a break up.

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#371

I would notice that my worn panties for the week were always at the top of the laundry basket when I sorted my clothes on my wash days... odd right? One special day when I was done showering I went into my bedroom. After I was dressed, I went to grab my dirty clothes from the bathroom. When I opened the door, my boyfriend and I locked eyes, and my panties fell to the floor. Everything made sense at that moment.

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#372

I dated a guy once who always made up stories, like he was spy for instance. He wouldn't call me for days cause he was on a secret mission. But what really pushed me over the edge was he tried convincing me constantly he was a werewolf, and I mean constantly.

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b m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Would you have stayed with him, if he WAS a werewolf? ;)

#373

So I was dating a guy for a few months, and when he graduated from university, I was invited to the graduation day.

The morning of said day, I woke up super early and made a celebratory champagne/buffet breakfast.

Around the time, I was also quite sick for around 5 weeks. I could barely eat and lost a ton of weight (best diet ever).

Anyway, HE broke up with ME because the champagne breakfast was "too much" and I was "sick for too long". Inconsiderate wanker. #dodgedabullet

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#374

She didn't known who Metallica were

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#375

Went out qith a guy that liked to pass things when you kissed, you know, like passing a jolly rancher back and forth etc. I was like "k, whatever"
Then, at our first movie date he decided that this would be a fun thing to do with popcorn. Soggy drooly popcorn kept getting shoved into my mouth as an excuse to kiss more. We didnt talk much after that.......

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#376

I walked in on him cheating on me. I tried to be civil and give us a chance to talk it out, and when he tried to explain, he told me it was his cousin (it wasn't). It didn't end because he cheated, but because he thought it would be acceptable if it was with a relative...

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#377

He started talking to my mum, it was okay at first but then it turned out to the point that they became like bestfriends. They then secretly talk behind my back where he would basically tell my mum all my secrets.

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#378

My ex's family are all benefit scroungers and I wanted better for him. I asked him to move in, got him a job, got him driving lessons and asked him to start helping out around the house (gave him some responsibilities) and he dumped me saying I was trying to change him ... I later realized he cheated on me too, with a girl he met at his job, that I got for him ... Better off without the scumbag

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#379

Dumped me after 4 months dating with invalid excuses like we live too far (20 mins away and I saw him at school everyday). Really it was because I wasn't popular enough and because I was too square to have sex back then (I was only 15). But because I dated him, I made friends with all his popular friends and became central in their group. When he realized that I wasn't a loser he asked me out again after a month and I said no. I would look at him and laugh everyday :)

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#380

I once had a woman dump me because I'm circumcised. She says its "unnatural" and doesn't respect anyone who changes "God's design for the body". Did I mention she has breast implants?

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#381

This guy chased me for 2years, I eventually said yes. Besides the constant bitching and I always had to be his 'pick me up', he was just super depressing. When I spoke to him about it, he cried. Then casually changed the topic to us moving in together in a place that he will build on to his moms garage - "because he loves me and wants to give me my own place" after a week of dating.
Broke up with him over the phone so I didn't have to deal with him crying.
I still get stalked though...

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#382

He said he was a werewolf. Legit thought he was a werewolf. He'd text me and tell me he was going hunting at 11:30 pm. He would also growl... SO yeah

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#383

I kept finding pictures of children in his wallet, turns out he had 6 kids with 5 different woman (one set of twins) . Oh and found out he's on the sex offender registry for having sex with a 14 year old!

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#384

First time around, he cheated, I got mad, he punched me for getting mad, so game over.

4 years later he promised to have changed, so we gave it another go. Worst mistake ever! 6 months after moving in, he showed his true color: manipulative, controlling, insecure, alcoholic, physically violent, and a drug addict. I put up with it for a while cuz he kept promising to change. Then one day I realized that he never would so I left.

Now I've been happily married to an awesome man for 6+ years.

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#385

It was 4 days before my birthday and she said she was going to get me a gift. I knew I couldn't break up with her for at least 30 days after accepting her gift and I wasn't willing to make a 34 day commitment to the relationship.

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#386

I thought my floater was hers, and the grossness of it coupled with her lack of taking responsibility for her shit turned me off. It turns out it was my shit all along and she was trying to be forgiving and graceful about it.

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#387

For wearing too much pink. Some days her entire outfit was bright pink. No thanks

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#388

She smelled like Campbell's beef vegetable soup.

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#389

He ate chicken wings with knife and fork...

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#390

To test them if they will fight for the relationship. Don't pull that shit.

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#391

I met a guy at an off-road park while out 4-wheeling, we hit it off and I gave him my number. We met the next week for dinner, I walked in the restaurant and saw had on white polyester pants, white loafers and a lime green Izod shirt. I went back out the dor and completely ghosted him. I felt like I was on a date with Bing Crosby.

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#392

I dumped a guy on the spot for saying he loved me... after two weeks of dating. You don't even know me, let alone love me, after two weeks. Might have been a little harsh on my part, though.

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Alice Putt
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It means they are thinking that you fit a fantasy. As you are real, this will blow up later. Usually ends with a abusive relationship.

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#393

She would send me texts referring to her vagina in 3rd person "My pussy misses you, you can have her any time..." and when I made plans to do something with a friend instead of her I got an text rant ending with "...I hope you enjoy your hand"
Plus she was a vegetarian with "a little extra" - not sure how that works

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#394

On our first (and last) date we walked around and had coffee. He wasn't talking much (I did most of the talking) and he was staring at his phone all the time. He didn't have any personality, he seemed "empty" inside. No interests.
The worst was that I chased him: did the first move of texting before we met, arranged everything and in the end of the date I was the one that said "I had a good time and want to meet again". We parted and he didn't even looked at me, didn't text me after. As*hole.

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#395

It was a long distance relationship. One day I was late for work, worked overtime, and my phone was dead, soon as I went back put it in the charge, and she was calling. Said she was worried sick and couldn't do it anymore..

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#396

He said he wanted to break up because he couldn't stand my sarcasm, I said that if he didn't understand it I'd be happy to explain it to him but I didn't have apples. He stormed out of the room and never to be seen again.
We were married,

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#397

My best friend was a lesbian, and I sat her up with a girl that had asked me out (I'm straight). She introduced me to one of her guy friends, and he and I dated for 6 months...until I discovered that he was cheating on me with the girl I had set my bestie up with. It's ok...he sounded like a cross between a woman and a chipmunk anyway.

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Nikki Jamaica
Community Member
7 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

so if a girl asked you out - and you're a guy, why would you set her up with your lesbian best friend? and then you date a guy for 6 months.... i'm not being rude but are you sure you're not bi? :/

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#398

My ex was used to dating obese PC gamers, so she had a real treat with me... until 3 weeks in and she imploded over women looking and smiling at me while we were out and about in public. She said that I was threatening the ecosystem of this relationship by being more attractive than what she is used to... so she likes being "the hot one".

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like she had real issues that would only grow by the age.

#399

He was fun to flirt with and chase. Once we actually got into an official relationship, he turned into a overly sappy/clingy guy and husband constant need for PDA and pet names made my skin crawl. Didn't even last 3 weeks.

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#400

I broke up with a guy because he had gross feet and toes. Don't wear flip flops if you have gross feet!! Enough said!

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#401

I was dating a photographer when I was 19 years old. After our first date put seeing a movie and having sushi I took him home. Things got hot and heavy when he offered me a back rub. He took his Manhood out and as I grabbed it I felt a bum by his balls and I immediately thought it was genital warts. I quickly stopped and hopped off him before doing anything. He stayed the night but nothing happened. That morning he tried to wake me up for sex before he left so I played comatose. We broke up...

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know a cancer case. Maybe you should have talked and if he did not pay attention to it and did not examine it, he should have. The case I know was fatal - a boy of 16, embarrassed of the unusual formation, hiding it, lost his life within 2 years. Medical attention is needed. Not ignoring. If that was your photographer's case, you might have saved his life. I hope it wasn't.

#402

He got laser hair removal on his dick. It was our third date and he was telling me he didn't really enjoy sex because he had actual hair on his dick (he says it's cos of a botched circumcision but that sounds untrue) and someone agreed to laser it off for him against all reason and no surprise the hair came back but the sensation did not. The reason I actually never called him again tho was he's an All Live Matter person. You'd think a bisexual Jew would have more sympathy for th disenfranchised

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#403

He had 4 kids with his baby mama with a 5th on the way and would rather stay on welfare making only $900/month instead of getting a job 'to spend more time with his kids'

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#404

I once broke up with a guy because he never wore pants that were long enough for him!!

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#405

This was back in high school so music was really important. Every time I would play her a new song she would always sing along a totally different song that she already know. Always.

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#406

This is what happened, I accepted a friend request on Facebook not knowing who it was. Turns out that's her ex and she gave my name to him. I unfriended him and she rather got mad at me. So I walked away

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#407

When I was 18, my boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't want to feel"obligated".
At 55, I still don't knows what he was talking about.

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#408

He would only eat hotdogs and pizza. Which I could deal with, but the last straw was this: He ruined my senior prom because he got mad that I was looking at decorations and not him. He wouldn't dance and hid in a corner the whole time. My friend almost passed out on the dance floor and he just sat there and didn't help. I fell asleep at the table and then went home.

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#409

I broke up with my boyfriend because he said being on my period doesn't give me a right to be grouchy.

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#410

I had to end it with a guy because he would always apologize for sending me nudes. He'd send me one and if I didn't reply to it (even if I screenshotted it), he say, "Sorry if it was too much. Are we still okay?"

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Anja Henriksen
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not very sweet not to reply ... maybe he was actually insecure about if you liked it or not.

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#411

My high school boyfriend met up with my friend and I while we were at lunch at Subway. I went up to stand with him while he ordered and noticed that they had gotten a new kind of cookie so I added some to his order. Later he tells me he felt as though I had been using him for the cookies. Like yes, you caught me. I concocted this whole 8 month long relationship to get $1 worth of Subway cookies out of you. Mind you I was working close to 40 hour weeks and he didn't work just got an allowance.

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#412

I once dumped a guy because he said windles instead of windows, hurst instead of hearse. Oh and everything was phenomenal. I honestly think he knew ZERO other adjectives.

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#413

she was vegetarian

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#414

So, back when I was 10 I started dating one of my best friends because everybody else was getting together. It was kind of the thing at the time, I guess. Anyway, I've always hung out with the boys and so when me and my buddy started dating I had no clue what to do with him. For the past two years the extent of our relationship consisted of tag and wrestling. We lasted a full two, very awkward, days before we called each other up, admitted we had no idea what we were doing, and called it off.

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#415

We were at dinner on a first date and both got burgers, which came with their top buns on the side. He starts playing with his onions and commenting on their weird shape, then reaches over to MY burger, grabs an onion, and goes, "Whoa, it's like a spiral!" I was already mad that he'd touched my food, but then he got into my car with his still mustard-covered hands and started touching stuff. Never spoke to him again.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do not share my food and go crazy on someone disrespecting my car, so I totally understand you!

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#416

I broke up with a guy I had been with for 5 month because he got drunk and told me "I look too much like my mom and apparently during sex he thought about her sometimes." Haven't replied to any of his texts since then. Perv!

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#417

After 2 perfect years I found a secret sex email of him on Craigslist trying to hook up with other woman and tons of other men. I had no idea.i broke up with him then he told me he was a sex addict and i wasn't "sending him enough pics or sexting enough for him"

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#418

Second date with this guy & he brought his nine year old daughter along. She was a cross between a stepford kid & Adams family. Picture a stiff, emotionless kid (with long hair & headband) staring at me but super animated when talking with her dad.
Seriously she gave me the creeps.

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#419

I am a bit overweight and i went on a blind date and he said 'oh i have never had a fat girl' first, last and only....

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#420

First boyfriend ever, still a virgin and all he wanted me for (it seemed like) was to take my virginity... (Christian man that is...) worse part is... he always wanted anal. F'n disgusting and pathetic.

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Jennifer Hunter
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like he discovered PornHub and wanted to try it in real life. Typical teenage boy. :/

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#421

I dated a guy who looked like a girl and his sister looked like a guy. People shouldn't doubt my sexuality, hence I left him.

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#422

He bought gifts for me, that he liked, and kept.

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#423

I met up with a girl and her friends one night. She was intoxicated to the point when i said i was exhausted and was going to head home, she cried saying i didnt love her. After i left she texted me 54 times and called me 33 times. She came to my apt knocking for a half hour straight then left.....i watched her walk out of my building from my 4th story window and in front of the building she squatted and pissed for anyone to see....while texting me....again.

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#424

Was with him for almost five yrs he blamed me for testicular cancer and not having a prosthetic testicle he also beat me

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#425

He shared a post on Facebook that was about how women belong in the kitchen. I explained to him why that was an issue and he refused to listen, he thought it was funny that it offended me. I had him take me home from Panda Express and never talked to him again.

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#426

Talked in a low, slow voice like a radio DJ. Did magic tricks for strangers whenever we went out. Told me we couldn't have sex b/c he can only come when he masturbates. Ummm...nope.

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#427

Got broken up with because I wanted to have sex all the time .....

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#428

She didn't like "The Office." Hepatitis C-ya later!

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#429

I once dated a guy who was our company lawyer. He was 6.2ft, super-smart, had a sexy voice (unbelievable!), and always wore those chic hand-tailored power suits. I had a crush on him for months, then I just told him.
Turns out, he felt the same for me. Yaaayy..! Unfortunately, he turned into a needy, clingy man I didn't recognize anymore. He was complimenting me all the time; told me I was too hot to be his GF; I could have any guy...why did I choose him;...
I just couldn't do it... ):

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#430

In high school i always said yes to guys when they asked if i wanted to ve their gf. There was nothing sexual. I just hated being alone. One time a guy in a wheel chair asked me out. He would slap my arm talk loudly and run into the fucking wall! I had enough on day two. So i broke up with him and he didn't stop harassing me until he found another gf.
Shortest relationship ever.

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#431

I found out the hard way that he had a sleeping fetisch. He had early in the relationship prompted I got an IUD because condoms was a annoyance. So waking up in the morning with spunk on my thights was not so weird I thought. Newyears eve came and with it my period. he got mad about it but later said I should enjoy a glass of bubble even if he was a non-drinker. I woke up choking because he thought it was a good idea to deepthroat me.
I'm usually a hevysleeper and wonder how many times he used me

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Kori K. Warriner
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's rape. One of my BFFs was constantly raped in her sleep by her husband. She was a heavy sleeper so was never sure it actually happened until she went to therapy, and the therapist made her realize that he was having sex with her all the time in her sleep.

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#432

A guy I once dated had a serious drinking problem, not like horrible horrible but enough to get pissed off at everything. He was drinking one night with me at the bar I work at and blew his lid about the locals. Needless to say we broke up. Tried to work things out but for my best friends birthday weekend he got pissed that I was having girl time instead of going to see him. He then began threatening me over this matter, I told him multiple times what I was doing. Nope not happening psycho.

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#433

Okay, so I had an ex whose parents smoked heavily at home, I'm asthmatic so I never stayed over. I made an exception for his sisters birthday as his parents agreed not to smoke in the house that day. Fast forward a few days to prom night; he avoides me for hours, refuses to dance, and keeps shooting dirty looks at me. I confront him at the end of the night and basically he acuses me of lying to him about having asthma, bursts into tears, and runs down the road... seriously.

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#434

I broke up with my ex because when I had my wisdoms pulled, I wanted her company from the pain I was having during the healing process, she said she couldn't because she had plans that day, after that I found out from my best friend that her best friend told him that my ex said the sex wasn't great. After that I ended it. Later on I finally found out why she couldn't keep me company that day, she was cheating on me with a guy who she dumped 2 months later from that day. I was with her for 3 yrs.

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Danielle Holder
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I had my wisd teeth removed I had to have someone there for 24hrs afterwards. My NEW husband at the time had plans (aka going skinny dipping with a bunch of girls I later found out). I had my GAY friend stay with me, we were watching The Exorcist on the couch when he finally came home....had the nerve to say that I was cheating!!! With my gay BFF, obv getting turned on by the horror movie exorcism, my mouth full of cotton and drooling blood. Some ppl might be into that stuff and find it sexy but I'm DEF not one of them 😂🤣😂

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#435

Guy I met online demanded ALL of my time. If I had to cancel plans because I was working (my roommate wasnt working so it was just me and money was tight) he would lose his shit. Telling me I'm a terrible person and a hypocrite. Like yeah no my bills and comfort comes before you dickwad.

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#436

We dated a week and he seemed great. One day went were out getting dinner, I ordered a huge plate of nachos with extra meat and cheese. I ran to the bathroom and came back and he had eaten all the good chips with meat on them......yes My food!! He shouldnt have assumed it would be ok. I walked out and never talked to him again.

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#437

This had to be our 2nd or 3rd date.... But we decided to walk around the mall before our movie started, when all of a sudden he started counting out loud... I had to ask him twice why he was counting before he said "I'm counting how many guys look at you so I know who to kill." Like What?? Freaking crazy.

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Morgan Brock
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would've said the number "One" really loud. When he asked what One was, I would've said, "ONE being the number of sentences it took for me to leave."

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#438

I denied and ignored all the red flags for months. Oh, you quit both your jobs and aren't actually looking for a new one? Now you stay the night and spend the days that I'm at work at my apartment? ...Okay. Eventually I realized he was using me to take care of him. The day I snapped I had come home from work and he had drank all the whiskey in my cupboard and smoked the entire 1/8th of weed I'd bought (legally) the day before. He left calling me an addict and saying I needed help.

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#439

I dated a guy for a few months, got along pretty well with him, although he was a little socially awkward. He broke up with me out of the blue one day, saying he only wanted to date me so he "could see what it was like to be human for a little bit"...wtf?

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#440

She was over at my house while I was home "sick" from school. This was in 9th grade and my parents were both at work.
We were just making out and the family dogs were in the same room which didn't *seem* to bother her, but when I went to get us more iced tea, I heard one of the dogs yelp in pain.
When I went in to see what happened, she said, "The dog got too close to me so I kicked him."
I immediately told her to GTFO!

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#441

I once dated a guy who 100% believed he was the king of Avalon who had magical powers and had dragons who couldn't be seen with the naked eye. He said he's only in the "human realm" because an evil being is after him and he's in hiding. Didn't help that he was in his early 30s, lived with his mom, unemployed, and went to the library everyday to play games on the computers.

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#442

I once dumped a guy because every time he'd go to kiss me he'd stick his tongue up my nose. Like it was a fetish type of thing but in all honesty it was creepy as hell.

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#443

I dated this guy for 6 months, 3 months into our relationship we decided that we were ready to take thing to the next level (sex). So of course I always make sure that a condom is used and when he finished he says (and I shit you not) "hehe I impregnated You!". The first time he said it I just let it go but every time he finished he said those words. On our 6 month anniversary we had sex he said those words again, I just got up said I'm not going to put up with it anymore and left.

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#444

I got broken up with over the way I put on toilet paper. He ended up throwing the roll at me as I left his apartment.

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#445

I was 10 and HE was absoluetly terrified of the baby bird i had picked up on the playground...

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#446

He would wake me up in the middle of the night to start an argument. Several times a week. Not a continuation of an existing argument....new topics to argue about.

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Morgan Brock
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not grounds for being dumped, waking me up is grounds for being killed.

#447

Once dated a guy because he wouldn't leave me alone, and tools him he had a week to impress me. On day 4 he texts me asking "When you're pregnant with my kids can we still have anal sex?" Dumped him over text right then.

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#448

I met him on a dating app. I tried ignoring the signs of why he was wrong for me. He was here on a tourist visa but wanted to stay longer and find a way to be a citizen. One day in conversation after only 3 wks of dating, he asked if I would marry him to help him out. When I told him I didn't think it was a good idea he insisted every day to reconsider. It got to a point where that was all he could talk about. I broke it off and he got mad that I couldn't help him with this "little" favor!

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#449

Dated a guy for 1 year. First 6 months were okay although he never really showed his feelings. After 6 months he basically moved in with me and started to command me around. The Appartement had to be spotless by the time he got home from work and also wait him with hot food and cold beer although he knew very well I had a job of my own. He always picked out my outfits if we were going out somewhere.
Last straw: he went on vacation with his parents and got pregnant some hooker. #dodgedabullet

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#450

In the supermarket he asked if I wanted to choose and buy my own Valentine's card... also caught him dressed as a woman kissing his tranny friend when I got home from work. He was one of the 'interesting' ones. AKA tool

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#451

Met a guy at a bar through tinder and I
thought we hit it off. A few days later I go over to his house to watch a movie and hang out. Didn't know i'd end up talking to his parents for about 45 minutes and then watch a bad documentary while he ate leftovers and picked at his TOENAILS. I accidently left my phone charger and never went back for it.

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#452

He was really pushy about getting me to stop smoking. It was a long distance relationship and he would ignore me if he thought that I smelled of smoke. Which only made me more anxious and my need to smoke increase. So i broke up with him. Over a year later and i'm smoke free because i want to be. Not because some meat head is forcing me to. He also wasn't very nice to his dog..

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#453

I dated this one girl on and off for about 5 months,i knew she was a big fan of demi lovato but i didnt have a clue as to how obsessed she was until a few months down the road when she started trying to look exactly like demi,same haircut,same tattoos,etc. It really creeped me out,the last straw was when she came to a family event with me and l overheard her offer to have a threesome with my brother and his gf....it didnt last long after that

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#455

I once went on a date with a very handsome, extremely smart guy who was a dual biology and math major. When he found out I was a psych major, he spent a good deal of time explaining how psychology isn't a real science and how people like him often look down on "my type." Later he told me that he really disliked animals, especially cats, and that he wrote a pretty lengthy essay on how pets are actually parasitic. I'm not even joking. Needless to say, we never spoke again.

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#456

I once dated a guy.. maybe a few months. Cant remember. He had self image issues cause he was overweight and lost alot of weight. That didnt bother me... but one night i was invited for dinner at his parents' house where he still lived... (he was 25) we sat around table and we were about to pray, eyes closed holding hands. He took my hand hit it so hard against the table edge and proceeded to dump it in my food.... i was... FURIOUS. didnt last very long. Didnt talk to him ever again..

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#457

he always had his friends hanging around with us and staying over when I spent the night! It was weird! I felt like I was dating him and all his friends at once! He even bought them on dates and didn't understand why I got upset! I used to wear a chain on my jeans and the worst time is when I apparently said something out of turn and his friend said 'control your bitch ' and he said 'its okay she has a leash' and then proceeded to whistle at me and try to drag me with my chain... not cool !!!

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#458

He doesn't brush his teeth. I guaranteed he would kill me after seeing this post. Like his breath do.

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#459

On our first date, she screamed at an old lady and almost got herself arrested. Haven't spoken to her since.

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#460

I ended up dating a guy for a while in high school, sweet guy but... lazy as hell. Like no motivation in school or trying to find a job. I could walk to his house, but I had to drag him out of his house for anything. The problems?
1. " Why bother? No one will want to hire me."
2. Wanted me to buy condoms at some point cause Christian boy didn't wanna get caught.
3. Gave me a Christmas gift in a ring box. Omg thought he was proposing... after we broke up he called me speratically for years...

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#461

I left him because he wasn't into me tying him up even tho he said he was when we first met. I'm into bondage.

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#462

A friend of mine was dating this guy from Wisconsin *we live in london* she sent him a butt pic and a day later he broke up with her. He said his ex had killed herself and that he had to grieve her. She found out from a friend of his a few days later, that never happened and he broke up with her because her butt wasn't as toned as he wanted it.

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#463

So my friend is like the nicest guy ever...his gf was arriving at the airport today after a week of them not seeing each other...he showed up waiting for her with flowers and chocolate....she broke up with his bc he was "embarrassing her".....fml

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#464

One day she asked me why I loved her. Realized I didn't.

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#465

She was a sweetheart when we were together but a totally different person over texts. She would accuse me of things over texts out of the blue that had nothing to do with reality. I would confront her in person and everything would be OK... Until the next day or so when the text craziness would commence. It was like dating Jekyll and Hyde. I was out.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This could be totally me. In text real me was saying what bothered me, in person - I was losing my words and was under the spell of his charm and that totally made me calm, loving and gentle. So I definitely understand her. It is not easy for the other one though...

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#466

He spoke about marriage 2 minutes after we got together.

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#467

He cried during the sex...every time! I thought it was about me but then I randomly met his ex and she said that was the very same reason she broke up with him too

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#468

I worked third shift and my live-in boyfriend, who was at his sister's to "have some space", had been texting me while I was asleep. The 3 days he was there I woke up to angry texts about that I need to stop ignoring him. I finally snapped about it on the third day saying, that I'm not ignoring him I'm f**ing asleep.
His response? "I'm getting sick of your attitude"
No, I'm sick of yours, boy bye!

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

You should not just work. Time for each other is important. Both should be balanced. He should have shown some understanding, work more so that you could have more time for him.

#469

She broke up with me because i didn't tell her i was going to take a shower. Got out and checked my phone and BAM im single. lol

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Insane! How it is possible that so many abnormal people exist?

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#470

He truly believed he was from the future.

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#471

Wasn't a relationship, but a first date. We met up for breakfast and both ordered sausage sandwiches in a cafe. When they came he inhaled his with a snorting noise before I even picked mine up, I was kinda grossed out and he grabbed mine off my plate and started eating it. Horrified . Never saw him again.

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#472

I once dated a guy who was insistent he make the camp fire when we were out with friends camping. He then continued to stack three enormous logs against each other, poured a litre of gasoline on the logs and unsuccessfully tried to light it. My heart broke as I watched the gasoline run into the river we were camping next to. I knew at that moment he was dumb, had to be the "man" and didn't give a shit about the environment.

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#473

I really loved this man, but he would talk about my breasts and vagina lime they were their own entities. "I just want to lick them, they really want me too"..And he peed sitting down.

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#474

I broke up with a guy because I couldn't stand the way he put his fork in his mouth when he ate. I know it sounds crazy, but it just bothered the crap out of me. I knew he was about to ask me to marry him, and I had to ask myself if I could stand to watch him do that for the rest of my life. I've never had anything like that happen again and have been happily married for 12 years.....To a different guy.

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#475

I was 18 and had been with him for a couple years. I started to realize I wasn't attracted to him at all and I really started noticing things that grossed me out like his bed smelled like pee, he had bad breath, etc. He even pulled his pants down and farted in the sink to make it echo and then laughed! I finally dumped him after a year of putting up with him because I felt bad.

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#476

I once dated a guy he was funny we got along well. He just stopped calling me. We frequented a club that we gambled in occasionally. I won the pool for $500.00, he was jealous. The bar called me and told me I had won the money and further that he told them not to even tell me. He still had feelings for his x and I didn't hear anything from him for months. I was just graduating with my masters degree he called me and wanted to go out and acted like nothing had happened. Of course said No Thanks!

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#477

I was young and didn't want anything serious, which he knew. He had to ruin things by telling me that he wanted to have a baby with me because our baby would be so cute. I couldn't get him out of my apartment quicker never returned his call after that day.

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#478

He gently took my face into his hands....leaned in.....licked my eyeball

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#479

Fiance left me telling me i was cheating on him ...He got a girlfriend 2 days after we broke up , turns out she was cheating on him with his best friend and I'm happily single

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#480

She wore the same deodorant as my mother does.

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#481

No joke, and I didn't see the Seinfeld episode long after we'd broke up, but she had the manliest f*cking man-hands a man could ever hand. I thought I would be ok with it but I wasn't.

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#482

I left my ex because she would never clear the leftover time on the microwave.

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Angel
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand your frustration with that - my man still does this to me all the time - I won't break up with him over it... but if anyone else does it..... I lose it! lol

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#483

He had a mole on his back. Every time we had sex and I touched it, I thought it was a spider. No can do.

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#484

She didn't like "O Brother, Where Art Thou?". She didn't find it exciting, she didn't find it funny, she didn't smile once. She also said "The music is weird".

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#485

She got a bob haircut and dyed it black and white. It made her look like a 12 year old boy. I just stopped the whole thing like we had never met.

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#486

He wiped his two dogs' butts with toilet paper every time they came back inside.

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Hans
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depending on the dog's furr and their habits inside (getting into the sofa), this can be a clever idea. And when you remove the poo outside, this extra step is not that much of a deal.

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#487

Not me, but my ex girlfriend broke up with a guy because when singing the Beatles' "Drive My Car" he added an extra "beep-beep'm"

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#488

I was too lazy to be in a relationship. All I felt like doing was being alone and doing what I wanted. It gave me a bad rep at school.

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M.T. Noah
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds asexual to me. I'm so happy to not have any romantic relationships now. I am so happy to be me and support my friends and be there for them. There's nothing lazy about knowing you're not into that.

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#489

She was too loud around my hermit crabs

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#490

He was my first kiss and I'm so socially awkward I had to end it because I felt embarrassed

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#491

I'd been seeing a guy for five months. We had a great time together. But he dumped me because he was still in love with his ex..

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#492

Girl broke up with me years ago. She was mad at me because i got pissed she was hanging out with another guy the same day I found out she did a nude shoot for one of her friends. She still wanted to be friends so I "agreed" to it and would say I would help her and her friends out with their group, but at the last minute I would keep everything I have done for them and not show. I did it about three times and then with her finally not catching on, i went to her house and finally cut all ties.

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#493

One night he looked at me and said "You know, you're a lot smarter than I am."
Yep that we as the end.

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Jess Gore
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Better than him looking at you and saying, "You know, I'm a lot smarter than you are."

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#494

I met this dude at a friend's party. Seemed pretty cool. He walked me to my car at the end of the night. We started to make out in the car a bit and he said...."hang on for a second". He stepped out of the car, closed the door and let out the huge fart. Climbed in and said he didn't want to let that lose in the car. Ummmmm.....I'm not a prude, but not a great first impression either. I think I forgot to give him my number.

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#495

I overran an upstairs bath and collapsed his kitchen ceiling. Who knew that was a dumpable offence????

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#496

Once had a girlfriend who always asked for money. I broke up because apparently I "wasn't man enough" for not paying her bills and rent at her house. Haven't spent even one night there and I have my own place. She ended up being a hooker. Nothing wrong with the profession,on the contrary I respect most of women doing that, just serves her right. she is a hooker body & soul

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Sameer Rashid
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gold diggers favourite weapon..try to hurt a mans ego by saying he's not "man enough"

#497

I was young and wanted "sexual experience" so I asked a friends friend who was 2 years older than me. He thought I wanted a relationship, I hate to disappoint people. Grad was in a month so of course he asked me, and I hate to disappoint people.
His parents and him kept insisting I be in the grad photos, I tried to stay out of most of them but....I hate to disappoint people.
Several months in and I wasn't learning anything new in the bedroom so I broke up with him. I do regret ruining the pics

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#498

He ruined the end of Star Wars..The Force Awakens. I had been dying to see it.. but was waiting a day or so because of crowds. I get on facebook and there in my inbox was a meme of Han Solo dying. I said a few choice words..blocked him..and never talked to him again.

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Sasy
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LEAVE OUT THE MEME PART - even though a few years on, not everyone gets there....you spoilered complaining about a spoiler :)

#499

Met his family for the first time and his dad was grilling out steaks. Time to eat, sit down, and I'm served an extra-well done steak. Thats how his entire family ate their meat. I broke up with him shortly thereafter.

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Lisa Fortier
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Normally people ask "how do you want your steak done?" but normally people also do not break up with someone over how meat is cooked so *shrug*

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#500

I dated a girl named emma after having dated a girl named emily. I accidentally called emma emily and ended it the next morning. Now I'm with a different emily. I can't fuck up calling emily the wrong emily.

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Sasy
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am concerned that your only identifier between these women is their names :) how do you keep your Male friends organised ? Just teasing you, everyone has done the name thing, I called my teacher Mum once, HE said 'don't wish that on me' so mean.

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#501

She started every sentence of every text message with 'lol'.

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#502

I had been waiting for Dr. Strange to come out. Went on a first date with a guy, we kissed before the movie but when he tried to put his arm on my waist and pull me close in the middle of a goddamn super hero movie I had been waiting months for I was like "THE F*CK YOU DOING?!?'" I didn't just pay $15 for a movie to make out, I'm not a effin 12 year old. No second date.

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Jennifer Hunter
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PRIORITIES! You can make out at your place after the movie's over! (Great movie!!)

#503

In the middle of sex she would never riding me then abruptly stop and say things like "The light I'll due" I would proceed to be turned off then she'd say "No let's finish" and apologize. This happened whenever there was a bill due for 6 years.

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Sasy
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The oddest things can pop into your head at times, but that one reminded me of the joke where the wife starts talking about changing the decor in the bedroom.

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#504

I was dating a nice looking vioinist girl for a couple of days. Once she cut her hair kinda very short and my friend tells me "doesn't she looks just like Nacho?". And boy, she was so alike... That was it. I had to break with her.

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#505

Casually seeing this guy, typical hipster biker type. We were out to eat with a couple of other friends and decided to end the night at his place. He and one of the friends had biked there, myself and the other girl drove. We're standing outside chatting about how we're all getting to his place and he says "Biking's really more of a lifestyle for me, not just transportation." He was also wearing jorts. Nope.

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#506

Met this guy online for a stroll on the beach bc he couldn't afford to take me anywhere, not even coffee, I don't mind though, I love The beach. So we're walking and talking and he starts complaining about the government, the military(he was in the navy), teenagers and young twenty-somethings. I was over there like dude I work with teens, I love teens, and you know I'm 21 right? Needless to say I ghosted him with a quick escape SOS call from my bestie.

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#507

I once broke up with a guy because I hated the weird faces and noises he made while playing fighting games on his Nintendo 64. This was obviously in the 90s lol

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#508

He was studying for a master's in engineering but for the life of him, even after numerous demonstrations, he could not slice a chicken fillet.

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#509

This guy hounded me for almost 2 weeks to go out with him while always bragging about how great his VW was. He was a "car guy." I finally agreed outta irritation. I had already eaten dinner at home before he came to pick me up. It was drizzling outside. He picked me up in a mini van. And then when we sat at the bar and I watched the hockey game and had $7 worth of beer while he ordered food. He told the bartender 2 separate checks. Never answered his messages again about seeing each other again.

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#510

I dated a guy for 3 years. Once we went to my parents' house and I told him that I am going to take a shower and shave. He was like "No please , don't shave! I like to have sweet hair in my mouth!". I broke up with him and then kicked him out of the house.

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SB
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After three years a relatively minor kink ended things?

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#511

He cheated on me. With a 45 year Old Man. P.S. he was14 I was 15.

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#512

I dated a guy back in 2011, we lasted about 9 months. He dumped me because of my crazy psycho mother, snotty sister & stupidly overbearing younger (by 3 years) brother. Packed up & moved to Oregon in April of 2012
Found out later that he was cheating on me, so I guess it was for the best.

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#513

I dated a guy who constantly picked his ears then smelt it. He blamed his "OCD."
He would also fart during church and when confronted he'd say, "I don't know. Maybe it slipped out? I don't have control over it!" He was 24 with no medical issues. I broke up with him after a year, I couldn't handle it.

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#514

I was broken up with in email because (and he specified this) my boobs are too big. He liked women with large hips and small breasts. I wouldn't have cared much if he hadn't had his hands all over them before coming to this conclusion.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why was he with you id he did not like your proportions initially? Just another cheap excuse.

#515

I had been seeing a guy for a few weeks and he still hadn't kissed me. One night he called me and asked my permission to kiss me the next day...it was extremely awkward and I broke up with him the next day rather than kiss him. Don't ask me if I want to share our first kiss...just do it!!

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#516

I once dated a woman 10 years older than me who thought that following me into the bathroom when I needed to shit or kids was normal and cried like we were breaking up when I asked her to stop. Oddly enough that was not the reason we broke up

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#517

I put on Inglorious Bastards to have him complain, sit on the phone, and do anything BUT watch it. When I asked him if he wanted to watch something else, he goes "YES, Tarinteno is the absolute WORST. So boring!" Then proceeded to put on "Welcome to the Jungle" and preach about how it's the best cinematic masterpiece ever made. Uhhhhh BYE

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John Baker
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like Tarantino either. As for 'Welcome to the Jungle', which of the dozen or so movies by that title was the ex so enamored with?

#518

I one dated this guy, I was 18 and he was 27, he got pissed of one day because he wanted to stare into my eyes for long periods of time and it was weird to me. He threatened to tell my mom we were having sex and proceeds to tell me he messaged her. I wanted proof and he said no. He was so weird and clingy. If I checked fb before messaging him he'd call me a bitch. Dodged a major bullet.

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#519

I once met this guy through a group of friends and kinda/sorta made conversation with him that day. We chatted a bit the following day and by day 3 he was at my house, and told me "you're my girlfriend now". This all happened so fast, that naturally I was nervous. After about 2 weeks of "dating", I start to like him and decide to tell him. He took it as me confessing my love for him and dumped me the next day. Then he took to social media to tell everyone how I was psycho.

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#520

We broke up legitimately because we had nothing in common, but I couldn't get over the fact that he had more torso than legs, and he had this ridiculously chubby baby face that was none the pleasing to look at. Plus, all our conversations were one sided because he never contributed anything.

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Sameer Rashid
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why date him in the first place if his physical attributes bothered you so much or the fact that you had nothing in common?!

#521

Went out a few times and went back to his place to mess around. Turns out, He shaved his body----arms, legs, chest, and apparently, his back as well. I knew because there was stubble EVERYWHERE. Total turn off. Left. Ghosted him. Blocked him. Haven't regretted it even though he was a really nice guy. That stubble tho......ew. Makes me shudder to think about the full body scratch that gave me!!

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was a turn off for me too after out first date. He was a friend I knew for more than 6 years and decided to leave the friend zone with him. He was nice to me, gentle and everything but that shaved body... I just could not have any other second date. We stayed friends. :)

#522

A guy I'd been dating for a while. We went out to eat with my best friend. He got made because i didn't cause a scene at the resturaunt and 'defend' him because she voiced her opinion and he didn't like it.

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#523

We were out to eat on a patio with no other tables out there. He was wearing a button up with a t-shirt under it. He was hot but he couldn't just take the button up off he had to go to the restroom to do it. It was the last straw, he was just too uptight for me.

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#524

I'm a nurse, and he was a sales associate. Once, he told me he hoped a patient died on me. This came from the dude that legitimately boohoo cried over having to work at a Sketcher's.

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#525

We werenin middle school and i had never recieved oral sex. I had dated this girl a couple times before and we were hanging out in the mall. We end up going in to a JcPenny changing room where eventually she gives me head, 5 minutes in we got nervous and left before i finished. The next day my phone was bombarded because she thought i had gotten her pregnant from oral sex. I kid you not.

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#526

One girl did crossfit. Ended it before she explained what her workout of the day was. Then, one girl was obviously just trying to get me to be her kids new dad. I asked, "who is your fav singer?" She said, "I dunno, you?" I responded which was followed by, "yeah, that's mine too." Happened several more times. Bye. One girl borrowed my Insanity workout dvds. She got back together with her ex. She wouldn't give me the DVDs back. When they broke up, she tried to hook up with me again. Got dvds. Bye

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#527

I once dated a guy a few years ago. He was ok. We went to my favourite pizza parlor and then we watched a comedy movie. As I was going home he asked out of the blue if I can just book a hotel room. My house is just 30 mins away. I said no. I had enough when he didn't even bother smoking in front of me. All of his second hand smoke is going on my direction. He asked for a second date but I said no.

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#528

He was a picky eater but not the kind that "oh i dont like tomatos" no no. He did not eat fish, veggies, fruit, nuts, berries, mushrooms, cheese or grains. He was 23years old and would trow a screaming tantrum in a restaurant if they put anything other than meat/chicken and potatos/rice om the plate. I went out with him for 1/2 year because I thought it might go away if he begun trust me. Also his mother was a glutenfree vegan and he was a non-drinker...

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#529

Meet a guy dressed as batman at comiccon (I was dressed as classic PoisonIvy). We hit it off and 2 month in and he invited me to his home. Got there, in the middle of nowhere, and found out he was living in his mother's basement in a room decorated as a shrine for batman(even the bed!). It would have been kinda cool if not that he had asked be to take my Ivycostume it with me on the visit just to ask me to on site to have cosplay sex with him (Asking about babies.)
Found his waifu lost his waifu

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#530

He would full on, tongue down throat, kiss me every time I was upset or said something he didn't want to hear, just to shut me up. It was so irritating and a huge turn off.

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#531

We met in a local pub and after 7 weeks of going out he had practically moved in. He called me at work one day and said he had a huge favour to ask, and could Laura, his ex, stay on my sofa for a few days while she found a place to stay. He said she's such a lovely girl and just needs a helping hand for a couple of nights. In shock, I asked why she was in prison, and he said oh she tried to burn down her parents house while they were sleeping but she was depressed back then, she's fine now.

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#532

Dated a guy who had been in an accident, he was really lazy alcoholic with no ambitions, and he prided himself on his settlement money and drinking all day, well the last straw was when he didn't do something he would say I just do life half assed and bare his ass, which was deformed as fuck because of his accident. Still hate him.

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#533

He was quite a bit older than me, and we'd been dating a couple of months. We were meeting up at union square (NYC). He rocked up in a pair of leather pants!!!!
Not wanting to be rude, I tried to ignore them as he squeaked along the pavement beside me. We went in to tower records, and just to add insult to injury, he got his wallet stuck in the damn things as he went to pay. I just walked off. Never saw him again.

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#534

"People tell me I look like Iron Man." and "Do you believe in fate?" and he was a SHIT kisser, like, it was really f*cking weird. He also drove really aggressively (tailgating, engine revving, etc). It was our first and last date.

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#535

His hands were so cold it legitimately hurt to hold his had. Which he liked to do often.

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#536

I once broke up with a guy for morning knowing the difference between their, there and they're.. One of my biggest deal breakers..

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#537

Everytime we would go out to eat; no matter how many times I would tell him to get food, he would say he wasn't hungry. I would order my food, we would get home and he would help himself to my food. Couldn't take it; even if he got his own food he would eat his and then continue onto mine. Grossed me out

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#538

While having sex he would only say ''Fuck yeah...'' Over and over again.

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#539

I use to work with this pretty attractive guy, and just coming back onto the dating scene after a 2 year relationship, I thought what the hell. So I picked him up, drove to smashburger, ended up having a discounted meal because my best friend worked there, and paid for both of us, didn't split, hell he acted like I owed it to him. But the worse part is he proceeded to tell me about his dream to create nano technology that if taken by the wrong person, could take over the world. Last and only date

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#540

He broke up with me after 3 weeks because he realised he "liked to watch tv alone". Okay?

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#541

On the same day he asked me out, not only did he say that he liked another girl as well as me and that it was complicated, but he also asked me what couples do. After he got no answer being as startled as I was, he searched it on wikihow. The relationship was over before it even started. Needless to say it was raining and cold.

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#542

Went to try and date this girl i was working with at the time and found out she couldnt decide on anything at all.. She needed her friends and moms opinion on everything before she did it.. dates, food, clothes, couldnt make a decision for herself to save her own life, probably would have to have someone elses opinion..

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#543

He's married to multiple women and has a plethora of small children. He would not acknowledge any of them. His wives messaged me constantly afterwards. They each honestly believe that he's telling them the truth and that he doesn't have multiple wives/children. Some people are pathetic and desperate.

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#544

He would get outrageously angry that people mistook him as my dad. He made too big of a deal out of it.

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#545

He'd chew on some rice at a fancy buffet then spit it out onto the plate and think it was funny. He'd then continue to do this while making noises and hide it under a napkin.

We're about to get into college.

yeet
nope

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#546

I couldn't hear her on the phone. Urged her to speak up many times, but said she was speaking at a reasonable volume. Yeah, for a mouse maybe. We got back together then I broke up with her again on homecoming cuz I thought she was pregnant and it scared the shit out of me. Freshman are stupid.. I swear I'm not a piece of shit I was young and scared

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#547

2 guys I broke up with. The first guy wanted to move in with 2 single girls and didn't see anything wrong with that. The second one started calling my roommate behind my back and HE didn't see anything wrong with it, either. Neither did she. I got rid of both the guy and the roommate in that case.

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#548

One guy I broke up with because I told him how much I loved this band and I joked that it was my religion. He was a mormon and told me I was a stupid whore and had no idea about religion. I broke up with him and he proceeded to text my mom shit about me. His ego was crushed apparently.
Second guy told me I wasn't allowed to wear shorts. In over 100 degree weather. You don't tell me what to wear, especially in summer. Dumped him and blocked him on social media.

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#549

He thought he was superior to everyone else. He couldn't even spell correctly and hadn't finished high school. He also was unemployed when we met and while looking for his first job ever (he was 20) he would reject any low class jobs that hired. For some reason thought he deserved to be a manager. This pissed me off loads.

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#550

He had long hair, which didn't really bother me that much. What did bother me was that he only washed it about once a month! Even worse when we started living together. He then demanded that I had to wash his hair for him. What kind of a grown up man can't wash his own hair?!

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#551

Was in a relationship over 3 years untill he broke up. He'd write every day with many girls I know (also friends of mine) so it was totally alright for me. Also he claimed he's not attracted at all to any single one of them.Found out that he fucked every single girl some even while our relationship. Also 2 friends of mine who consoled me after the very painfull breakup.

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#552

I once had a girlfriend for a month she then told me that she pregnant and the baby is mine and i though she had a few loose bolts in the head because we didnt have any sex at all so you that was funny to explain

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#553

We were going out for about two weeks when he willingly told me that he was only five inches. Which isn't a problem, it was the fact that he was too afraid to kiss me. I'd go to make the move and he'd shy away. He walked up to me and a friend the next day and I just looked at him without saying a word then proceeded to walk away and we never talked again. I guess we didn't "officially" break up.

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#554

The girl I lost my virginity to faked a pregnancy because she thought she was losing me. I only found out that it was fake after she told one of my closest friends that she knew wasn't pregnant, and expected her not to tell me. She did. I ended it.

In her defense I guess, I did start dating said friend like 3 months later...

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#555

I once dated a guy for a few months. He was really desperate for a family of his own and kept asking me to move in and telling me he wanted to have kids with me. I was 17 so clearly I was not ready for that. He started getting really obsessive and accused me of cheating, causing an argument where I ended up walking out. He drove after me and drove the car on to the sidewalk blocking my way. I go around the car and he hits me with it. He said he was trying to "stop me from leaving". Did not work.

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#556

Every time he said my name he whined it. Every. Time.

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#557

I was 11 and he was a total b*tch. He said he was my boyfriend but in front of his friends, I was just friend. He also treated me like dirt and touched me in places while we were in school. I told the administration, he got suspended for a month and has never looked me in the eye since. HA!

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#558

He started talking to my mum, it was okay at first but then it turned out to the point that they became like bestfriends. They then secretly talk behind my back where he would basically tell my mum all my secrets.

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#559

He broke up with me on Valentine's day all in front of his friends, and told me that he broke up with me because he barely knew me. Later I found out that he asked one of my close friend out (who said no and that she barely knew him 😂😂) Instant karma.

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#560

he would fart all the time! and they smelled so bad like rotten eggs. he wouldn't even try to walk away or anything. we'd be eating at a restuarant or hanging out with friends and bam the smell was so gross and it was so obvious it was him too he never apologized or anything just pretended it didn't happen. he did it while I was breaking up with him too..in his car with the windows up.

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#561

He said he wanted to get married and have 3 kids with me and kept asking me when are we going to have sex. We were 14.

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#562

His dad literally cornered me. I am a small person, but had never been physically intimidated like that before. The dad then preceded to tell me he knew I was only dating his son for his money.
Said son lived with his parents. I had my own place and was making a lot more than he was.
I told him about the incident and he defended his dad, saying he was just looking out for his only son. Nope!

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#563

I once dumped a guy I had been dating for about 3 months because he decided to remodel his kitchen. Because I have experience in painting and doing drywall, he expected me to do the work. I was going to college full time and working 40 hours a week, but sure. Let me remodel your kitchen. But that wasn't all. The kitchen was this gorgeous Victorian era room with original tin ceilings, ceiling-height cupboards, and a slate sink. He wanted a drop ceiling and a stainless steel sink. Unforgivable.

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#564

On our first date, she screamed at an old lady and almost got herself arrested. Haven't spoken to her since.

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#565

I'm 26, had a crush on a guy since preschool. We met recently at a party, became friends for a month, ended with a big fight. He's the perfect guy, really sweet and all, really likes me. But he has commitment issues and is struggling with his faith. I haven't spoken to him for 2 and a half years. Long story short: never believe a guy when he says he loves you, but keeps saying 'maybe' all the time.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I knew this before wasting three and a half years for a man saying "maybe" too.

#566

A guy broke up with me because I wouldn't take him and his friends, who I'd never met before, to a car meet..... BYE THEN!

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#567

When he tickled me his fingers would dig into my skin and I'd have bruises from it. Dated him a couple times because he really was a good guy but both times the tickles is what killed it

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#568

(Not a story so muh about me.) So I met a guy at a halloween party, we were having fun and laughing, he then proceeded to call up his girlfriend and break it off with her. He dragged me outside and pulled his pants down and asked me to sleep with him then and there, not a great person/party...

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#569

I once dated a girl for 3 days and within those 3 days I received on the 2nd day a love letter saying she didn't know what she would do without me, and a tin of home made cookies? The reason at the time for breaking up was because I had already been interested in another girl and was dating this girl to make the other one jealous but looking back at it I'm glad I dumped her as I didn't really like her, and she seemed a bit crazy (confessing her love after 2 days)

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#570

Always playing the victim, whining about getting over her ex, how she's obviously good because she's a girl but the string of guys she dated are pricks. She didn't live in my town at the time, she was visited friends. But they all got sick of her so she kind of just invited herself in to live at mine, with all her belongings, to have somewhere to stay.

She clearly just saw me as a temp boyfriend until the next one. I ended it. Found out after she did the same with 3 other guys that month.

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#571

We were 15, he was play fighting with me, tripped me up and I landed on his balls knee first. He wouldn't talk to me at school the next day so I dumped him.

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#572

First boyfriend, we dated over the summer, took me places with this family shopping, long trips, vacation type things. Everything was great until the first day of 8th grade for me, comes up to me and says he's starting football doesn't think he has time for a girlfriend and football fine went home cried my eyes out. Couple weeks later he's got a new chick talk about hurt feelings. Only good thing was the fact that I didnt need a towel after we made out kissed like a drooling dog.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please, use punctuation! It's like reading a text of someone with logorrhea.

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#573

I was with a guy for like nearly 2 years. A few days before our 2 year Anniversary and a few weeks after the year of my aunts death he dumped me only to get with this girl he considered just a friend. They broke up and I decided to give him a second chance. Ended up breaking up with him after he took the crazy chicks side when she threatened to slit my throat. On top of that he cheated on me with her on Valentines day. He was telling me how shit he felt for giving me up when drunk after. Fun.

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#574

When I first stayed over at his place where he lives with his parents and brother I walked in on him in the unlocked bathroom. When I brought it up later he acted like nothing happened and said: "We never lock our doors when in the bathroom. We also walk around naked, it's no big deal, we're family."

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#575

He took me out to a bar but for some reason he never blinked out looked away! I had the hardest time keeping the conversation going because he would always take about ten seconds to respond to anything and just stare. The most uncomfortable moment of my life after which I never saw him again.

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#576

A guy I met at work invited me to eat ice cream and gave me rides home. Didn't think much of it until one day I texted him that I was staying the night at a date's house. He freaked out, asked me how I could do this to him.
I moved to college shortly after and my number changed, we lost contact. But a few month later I receive a birthday card from him, no idea how he got my address! He was over 10 years older than me and had a mustache with a bold spot right under his nose. Blocked and deleted

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#577

He took my V card and then broke up with me a week later because he "Still loved" his ex. I told him his penis was small. Three failed marriages later for him. Who is the real winner?

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#578

She dumped me because I was black, her friends were embarrassed of me , so she dumped me, now she has 3 kids for 3 different men who all ran away. I am soo satisfied.

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Chanda Briscoe
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a similar experience. He's was white I am a black female. He just found out his wife slept with his dad AND brother, blew their life savings. . .and she's white lol

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#579

Although he showered regularly, he refused to use deodorant. By the time the evening came, which was usually when we were intimate, his armpits smelled like cornish pasties. I bought men's deodorant but he didn't take the hint. I dumped him!

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#580

I dated this 40 year old guy.
"What do you do with a tampon if you pee, cozz you have to get it out to pee, right?".
Clearing throat/nose and spit it out in public, reason: "if i swallow it, it will just go back to my lungs". His mom told him so.
Too much scents/smells make me nauseous and faint, but he showed up with 50+ scented candles, "to surprise me". He thought i meant perfume, while trying to kiss me after using half a bottle of aftershave.
At least he remembered i like candles.

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#581

Woke up one night to my ex boyfriend fingering my butthole, only to roll over and realize he was jacking off. Furious, I asked him what the f he was doing. He replied, lacking any remorse, "Well you should've come off it!" Dumped him the next day. Might I add, he rolled over and finished himself off before going to sleep.

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#582

We were together 10 years. The man would use half a roll of toilet paper on every #2 he took-- it would wreak havoc on the plumbing. One day I bought the super extra thick TP (that the TV bears tell you that you only need 3 sheets.) I mentioned that I swapped brands and that he should probably use less than normal for the sake of the plumbing. Never thought another thing of it, never repeated it. A year after he left, a friend told me he went around saying he left because I rationed his TP.

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#583

I went to meet this guy who lived on the other end of the city and first thing out of his mouth was complaints that I was late. I had been rear ended on my way there. He gets in the car and we drive back to my end (where his parents live) and stop for coffee, which I had to buy for myself and we sat there both staring out the window not talking. A few days later, he calls and asks if I want to get together again. I asked him if he needed another ride to his parents. He hung up.

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#584

She told me that her 23 yr old daughter was in a Sexual Relationship with her first cousin and had been doing so for the past 3 years. Which meant that for two of those years while we lived together it was happening right under both our noses. They were lying about the extent of what they were doing by all the time they were spending together. They would make up lies, fake fights, lead us in the wrong direction and do anything to keep the sexual relationship a secret from us.

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#585

A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend because every time they would drive down the road she would point to the ditches and inform him there was water. Then she would point to the car in front of them and say "I think that car is stopping." Literally every car ride.

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#586

I had a blind date, and it went so well I invited him to a party I was going to go to anyway. My friends absolutely hated him. At the time I thought it was because my ex was there stirring shit so we left. We ended up having sex. After the lust was gone I started noticing what my friends meant, he was insanely annoying. We'd known each other about 12 hours by this point (Yes, slut I know) and he turned to me, in all seriousness, and said 'I think I'm in love with you'. I didn't see him again.

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#587

I broke up with him. His mother gave him a choice of being with me or having his iPhone back. He came to my house crying and saying that he didn't know what to do, I said it sounds like you have already made your choice. We were both in our early 20's. Last I knew he was still single while I am in a very happy relationship with a great man.

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#588

Found myself in this list so here's the flip side... started dating this guy, first he taped our conversation on the phone, found him collecting fingernail and toenail clippings in a jar, used to make fake porno movies with his friends wearing women's underwear, wrote down our sexual experience in code on his wall, had a female "pen-pal" at 20... and the kicker... Had a secret and private overnight camping trip with his female first cousin.

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Cassandra S
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking I'd love to hear the other side's version, because there's always too sides to the story. But which one is this the flip side of?

#589

He asked permission for his ex wife to stay on the couch for the night inour apartment when she was in town for a concert.

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#590

I broke up with my bf after he repeatedly failed to turn up when he said he would. wasted so much time just waiting for him. When I got upset one day he was angry at me for challenging him.

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#591

we were going to a bonfire night, outdoors obviously and it was cold , so i wore jeans, he told me to go put on a dress or he wouldn't take me, so I asked him to leave

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#592

Things were going really great. So I asked him out for date 3. And I said I could do any day apart from Tuesday.

Guess which day he wanted to pick? Tuesday. Than threw a tantrum how obviously I am not interested in him and don't have the balls to break up.

Than followed me that Tuesday, got upset I was talking to my Male gay friend and I must be cheating. And how he was going to join my uni societies, sportclubs and my gym so we would need to spent time together. Just nope

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#593

He was an excessive crier, I'm an understanding person but it was ridiculous. On my birthday he insisted on driving me to the mall since I wanted to do some window shopping, super sweet right? Wrong. He made a scene the entire time, embarrassing and pressuring me to leave so he could catch a sale across the street. But when he saw I was annoyed, he got upset, crying the entire ride home (40 mins of blubbering, LOUD baby tears). Broke up with him that day.

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#594

We had only been seeing eachother for a week or two and he decided that it was ok to list exactly what his wife must do for him; laundry, cook, bear many children, and only stay at home. That was our last time seeing eachother to say the least.

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#595

I broke up with a girl once because she firmly believed that crystals powered by the moon would be better treatment for my mothers cancer than what "western medicine", had to offer. When I questioned this I was told it had to be true because her psychic had told her so. There was also some shit about fairies but I had stopped paying attention long before they showed up in the argument.

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#596

She had 20 rats and got mad at me for adopting a cat who was abandoned outside walmart with a note saying his owner died. Homeless people were fighting over him. Additionally, she had two horses and a snake and a cat and two guinea pigs, and was always asking me to spot her money for rat bedding. I have no problem with animals, when you can afford them and you don't make me get a 2 bedroom apartment just so the rats can have a bedroom to themselves. Seriously.

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#597

Her parents were too rich. And I don't mean like nice house in the suburbs money I'm talking Fortune 500 CEO type money. It was seriously intimidating and I couldn't handle the pressure. So I stuck a note in her locker on the last day of school after a 3 month relationship (I was 17 so way too old to be doing that type of cowardly bullshit). It also made for a very awkward senior year.

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#598

She would put saltine crackers in her soup and crush them up. No big deal I do that to but when she was done she would lick her hands clean of all the cracker dust. Every. Single. Time! I could not handle this no matter how amazing the sex was.

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#600

When I was 20 and in college, my family's house burnt down along with our dogs. I figured that since I was already losing everything, I might as well lose my girlfriend too. Hard to explain, but I feel like it was a good opportunity to start over. I dumped her while the ashes were still smoldering, at no fault of her own.

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#601

I was 8, he was 10. All went fine, we met every day at our fence, talking, playing - he brought me candy. It was awesome! But one day, he invited me to have lunch with his family. That was just too sudden and serious for me. So I broke up with him right there and then.

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#602

He ate a boiled egg then smiled at me. I can no longer date someone who eats boiled eggs.

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#603

He constantly had boogers in his nose. Final straw was when he breathed too hard, and one of them fell out and landed on my arm. Couldn't get the image out of my head, and dumped him a couple weeks later.

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#604

I met this beautiful blonde girl while working a catering gig in Manhattan, we hit it off really well. So I asked her if she wanted to go out, have some drinks, maybe smoke a little herb... She's down so we go out the next night. The subject of what we did last weekend came up, I started talking about how me and my best friend hung out and played video games. Then she went on a rant talking about how videogames are a waste of time.. Game over for me. Silence the rest of the night.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was right. However, they are one of the best and pleasant way to waste your time! :)

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#605

I once had a boyfriend who wore too small of tshirts. I didnt notice it really, at first, until people started pointing it out. After that, its all I could see! When he raised his hand, his stomach would show. Eventually soon after, I broke up with him but made up a different reason. I didnt have the heart to tell him the truth about his baby tees.

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#606

We were out for a drive, and he was driving, when I pointed out a gas price that I saw (around when it was getting back down to around $2/gallon). He turns to me and goes "Oh, is that expensive? I don't really ever think about that." He was working class, like me, and about 3 or 4 years older than me, in his mid 20's. It might've been a little shallow, but to me that made him seem way too immature and naïve for me.

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#607

His hands were too soft. Like, softer than any hands I'd ever felt on a man or woman. And he supposedly worked construction. I couldn't do it.

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#608

The situation is ridiculous, the reason totally justifiable. I'd been seeing him for a few weeks and we were spending the weekend camping and canoeing with a group of his friends. That night I noticed he had lice in his almost buzz-cut hair. The drive home was awkward and never spoke to him again.

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Morgan Brock
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't blame you one bit. It makes me itchy just thinking about it.

#609

Long story short, his friend ended up calling the police on him for trying to kill himself by jumping into oncoming traffic.
A few days later, I went to visit him at the mental hospital with his mom. The two of us stopped for lunch first where she told me "I know you two aren't going to end up staying together forever, would you mind breaking it off while he's in the mental hospital? It'd be better that way."
Well.. That wasn't my plan, but I loved his mom. So I did.

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#610

His dog was unbearable and impolite.

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#611

Dated a guy that thought every sex session was a marathon...that required multiple breaks in order to "last longer." Ain't nobody got time for that. My vagina is much happier now.

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#612

Darmed a guy and one day I realized he looked like Mr. Crocker off of The Fairly OddParents. Just couldn't get the image out of my head.

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#613

My Ex-Girlfriend's house used to smell like latex, whole house. The bar soap that they used in their bathroom smelled so strongly of latex that the smell of sex didn't even surface. But still I couldn't handle it

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#614

I was set up on a blind date, this guy shows up in a Subaru Brat. Ugly,wanna be truck, with seats in the bed. After dinner he says to me, "do you mind if we stop by my house for a minute." I'm thinking OK......? I go in to his house, because I really did not want to be in that ugly, truck thing and in his living room,larger than life was a full size shrine built to honor the Beatles. I told him I was sick and went home.

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#615

He came over one night and had lobster breath..

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#616

This is what happened, I accepted a friend request on Facebook not knowing who it was. Turns out that's her ex and she gave my name to him. I unfriended him and she rather got mad at me. So I walked away

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#617

Someone actually broke up with me før the stupidest reason. We were in a relationship and she says to me (I think I was about 8 around this time) "You know how people in secondary have boyfriends and girlfriends? I think we should be like that." (Suggesting we break up) in the next 3 weeks she had another boyfriend and went through alot more that year. Still don't know why I felt bad.

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#618

He got me flowers once and asked me every day for 3 week a how they were, broke with him after that

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#619

Brothers best friend and I dated when I was 15. He broke up with me bc he promised my brother we wouldn't have sex and when I was ready for the next step he ended it without telling me the reason. Just recently found out that was the reason why.

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Sasy
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was kind of him in a roundabout way :) you were both young, he was a Gentleman.

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#620

We were together for almost two years and had many isssues I was willing to work on and fix. The final straw for me though was the fact that he would squeeze and twist toothpaste and anything else that came in a tube. I would constantly flatten them and push the product to the top just to find them all mangled hours later. I couldn't understand how he lived so savagely.

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#621

While having sex. Apparently she had some stomach issues and let out a massive fart that smelled like death. That wasn't the deal breaker. Shit happens right? About 5 mins later while riding me she let's out another fart. I realized this wasn't a fart when I felt the warm ooze over my junk. She had sprayed liquid poo all over my lap. I was utterly disgusted.

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#622

He broke up with me because I showed him a picture of food of Facebook. He stood up and told me "if that's how you feel, it's over." Then left with another girl. This was my freshman year. All i showed him was a relationship post on love.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In two words, he used a totally irrelevant matter as a cheap excuse. He wasn't worth it!

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#623

I once broke up with a guy because of his self-induced health issues. I was caretaker for both of my elderly parents and just couldn't take any more. He called me a cold-hearted bitch.

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#624

He was the touchy feely type and I wasn't. He constantly tried to cuddle me in bed, have tickle fights, hold my waist and I hated it, I was never raised in a "cuddly" environment and have been sexually abused in the past so I hated being so intimate.

It only lasted a few months.

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#625

Guy i know from work and have spend YEARS flirting with/ hitting on. Well he recently seperated from his soon to be ex wife so we hook up a few times..Apparently his drunken " love you" as I was leaving was enough for him to end our relationship outside of work.

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#626

I was hooking up with one of my br There friends, who I had a crush on since I was 14. He would make noise and moan a lot while making me out or having sex. Not like sexy dirty noise and moans. Almost like he was whining. Stopped talking to him and deleted him off of Facebook.

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#627

I was 14 and went over to his house for dinner and to hang out. He asked his dad to make gumbo with spicy sausage in it (I can't handle anything spicy), so I bit the bullet and did my best to eat it. Later in the night we were watching a video of something online his head was resting on my lap, and all of a sudden he reaches his hand up to my chest, SQUEEZES my breast, says "Boop!", and then goes right back to watching the video. I was done with him.

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#628

So i broke up with her cuz in 3 months : she has no fav food, no fav movie, nothing this and that favourite...Ok, i did put that aside prettending that i dont care. What most upseting are her answers:"xddd" on everything interesting or smart or lovely i wrote to her. Also many others factors like : "im bored in bed"(almost 24/7)... Oh yeah and begging me for attention to give to her and then i wait for up to one hour for her to respond to me with "xddd"

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#629

She told me that she hate System of a Down (my favorite band) and her favorite bands were Avenged Sevenfold and Bring Me The Horizon (two bands I hate).

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#630

I asked him not to put his feet in my lap.
He felt the necessary response to my request was to stick his feet in my lap a second time. I kicked him out, and never spoke to him again.

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#631

When I was around 14-15 years old (she was the same age as me), I got dumped in less then 24 hours because her mum told her she wasn't allowed another boyfriend. She broke up with her previous boyfriend the day before she dated me.

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#632

In 7th grade I pity dated this guy. Sweet kid, but no chemistry there. He ended up sending me a "suicide email" one day and suddendly dropped off the map! Phone off, Myspace taken down, no longer in school... About 5 years later I get a facebook message from the same guy apologizing for putting me through that and explaining that he'd simply moved away with his military dad without telling ANYONE. Seriously? Who does that?!

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#633

She had to fall asleep listening to a specific radio station. Needless to say I couldn't handle the same 10 songs every hour.

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#634

I once dated a guy a few years ago. He was ok. We went to my favourite pizza parlor and then we watched a comedy movie. As I was going home he asked out of the blue if I can just book a hotel room. My house is just 30 mins away. I said no. I had enough when he didn't even bother smoking in front of me. All of his second hand smoke is going on my direction. He asked for a second date but I said no.

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#635

1st date we went to grand lux cafe. The waitress told him they didn't have any more hot wheat rolls. He shouted oh my God! He then folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them. She started apologizing perfusely to this BIG grown baby. Finally I snapped out of shock and she walked away. #checkPlease

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#636

He used to cling to me like a leech constantly wanting kisses. I broke up with him on New Years Eve......now we live together

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#637

I had a boyfriend at 16 who would like butt stuff done to him with my finger once of twice i told him i didnt like it and he persisted i still do it he broke up with me bc i wouldnt do that for him and i guess he was mad i didnt bc he started being abusive stayed with him for 8 months i was stupid at that time

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#638

He was to dusty.... 6 foot tall man living a lovely small house he left an insane amount of dust everywhere, he also used to clean things dirty! I could not keep cleaning after this twerp

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#639

A guy I was interested in getting to know better must have gotten dating advice from his mates and they possibly told him to get a girl home, get naked and play with her pussy cause when he gave me a lift home after going dancing, I was busting to use the ladies room so I raced inside, by the time i got my pantyhose back on successsfully and walked into my loungeroom he was naked, bending over playing with my white kitten. He was shoved out the door in less than a minute. Never saw him again.

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#640

My best friend's ex boyfriend bit his toenails and I caught him and she immediately broke up with him!

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#641

I snap him in the face really strong because he had a mosquito in the cheek. Then I start laughing like crazy unbeable to explain the reason I did it.

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#642

One of the scumbags I meet few years ago asked once for a razor gilette to shave his legs to go football ( soccer ) then used all my hair muse and his hair looked like it was licked by a cow then talked to himself in the mirror : I'm pretty - don't I ? Lol

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#643

She didn't know who Bill Murray was.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never hears that name either. But I am pretty sure the names I know most of you have never heard either. It all depends on where you live.

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#644

He had a small cock & always came in 14-28 seconds (yes i counted several times) i forgave that cause i got myself off after he went to bed...LOL but he smoked like 11 joints a day, was soooo f*cking lazy, especially when i needed him to help me w/ something! But the kicker was when i shaved his ass crack & noticed his asshole was huge, like a gay "bottom" kinda huge! He was also a drunk & said he was lying to me & didn't love me anymore...i gypsy cursed him & his life is shit now! 😎 WINNING 😎

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why my curses do not work? I have some people I need to see suffer the way they made me be in emotional pain. It seems like they can hurt people without any consequences and this makes me really frustrated. :(

#645

I went on a tinder date this one and only time. 1st date with this guy was pretty normal, we had coffee, went for a drive. 2nd date though... He invited me to go for drinks with a group of friends and I agreed. He picks me up with his friend in the car, everyone else bails on our way to the bar so it's just the three of us. We have half a beer (he made me pay) then drove us to his house to watch a movie. He went to bed 20 minutes later. His buddy had to drive me home at 3am.. Ghosted him after.

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#646

I had girlfriend but I broke up with because she talked to the person I hate most found out late that she was cheating on me with that person

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#647

Dated this hot girl from the office who i met in our office pantry. The sex was great. But then i found out she has a long time bf, and no one in the office knew about it. Not sure if i would be happy about it what.. Broke it off with her when she told not to reply to her facebook account bec it might someone else. Her facebook sent me a message, turned out it was her long time bf. Told him i fucked her girl. And walked away..

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#648

4 months into the relationship, my first Valentine's gift was a ring.

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depending on your age, I would love such a gift after 4 months. :)

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#649

I once was seeing a guy and I had asked I'm a question it was a simple question about if he was ever wanting to get a place of his own instead of living with his sister and he had the nerve to dumb me for asking a simple question after saying don't ask such dumb questions , like what the f*ck can't ask any questions to get to be in a more committed relationship ok, bye loader .I walk out and started to find me a ride out of there to the other side of the state .

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#650

We were in 10th grade, and he cheated on our chemistry test. Dishonesty? Always a deal breaker. Good job 15 year old me.

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#651

I once broke up with a guy because he would always get upset if I was playing Call Of Duty with him

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#652

He held his sandwich weird. It's like he would hold it like a t Rex and swoop it to his mouth around the side. It made me crazy.

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#653

I got rid of my bf because every time we finished having sex he would say "well that was a bit naughty" he had to go...

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#654

He told me that his ex cheated on him , so in revenge ,he arranged for some of his friends to gang rape her, he acted like he forgave her,invited her to his house and while they were making out five of his friends burst in on them and attacked the poor girl,and then afterwards he still liked her but didn't want to date her publicly because he thought those same friends would make fun of him for dating the girl they pulled a train on.

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#655

I once dated this guy who was gorgeous. However, I couldn't get over his voice. I mean, how can someone look like that and sound exactly like Donald Duck?!?!

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#656

I was dating a guy for a while and told him I couldn't see him for 1 week because of my exams, and once over I would take him out to celebrate. He wasn't happy, said I was lying and he would find sex elsewhere

Fast forward to the end of the week and him not taking to me, I got a txt saying sorry and that he saw his cousin who was also busy with exams and he knew now I wasn't lying and would take me back. I told him to F off, if he needs others to verify if I'm really busy and stressed

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#657

He told me he was in love with me after only a week of "dating" (more texting than hanging out in person) then freaked out when I didn't say it back.

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#658

We had been in a relationship for about 7 months. I got pregnant. We were both excited after the initial shock wore off. But the day I went to get my ultrasound to see how far along I was, I had a miscarriage. 2 weeks later he broke up with me saying that I was acting different, that it had been 2 weeks and my hormones should be back to normal. Like wtf do you know about hormones? Later I found out that I had chlamydia & he accused me of cheating. I Had never cheated, just not tested before.

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#659

My boyfriend broke up with the girl he dated before me because she took him home and he refused to enter her room because the smell was so bad. Turns out she shits and pisses in a bucket because she doesn't like her new step dad. Her full grown dog was also only partially potty trained.(she saw no problem w this) and after cleaning her room with friends they found dead rodents and bugs in her room, also having to evict the living ones. Grody af.

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#660

She gave head like an alligator I had bite marks for a month.

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#661

She wouldn't stop wearing this stupid hat.

Warlizard Report

#662

He put his tongue in my mouth. That was my first kiss...

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#663

I stuck it out for four years. I will admit I was shallow but I was a cute 20 year old! He was 26 was no where near physically fit. But he refused to wear anything other than sleeveless shirts and gym shorts with sandals!

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#664

Once had a bf break up with me because I called the music he listened to "hick music" it was some serious hill billy country

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#665

I once had a guy break up with me because I wanted a MK purse for my birthday, which was 6 1/2 months away at the time, but went out and bought useless car accessories for way more. His excuse, "I'm not paying $200 for a purse. So my money my choice." His current girlfriend looks like a psychotic gremlin so I am grateful we didn't stay together. Wasted a year of my life though

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#666

We were friends for 2yrs one day he says he want to date me didn't like seeing other guys interested 3mos later breaks up with me saying it because my mom is a bitch which he knew since we were friends first he really just wanted to sleep with his bartender friend who was fighting with her bf without pissing me off tried to get back with me the next day after being with her

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#667

His top eyelashes pointed down.

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#668

After months of dating in middle/high school, thing she started getting more serious. She started calling my genitals her "property ". And would always say hit like "can I see my property?" OR "I miss my property "....shit was weird

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#669

I broke up with a guy because he said gen didn't like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars

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#670

She told me that she hate System of a Down (my favorite band) and her favorite bands were Avenged Sevenfold and Bring Me The Horizon (two bands I hate).

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#671

Definitely not the only reason, but the last straw and deciding factor: he made fun of Hotel California. Seriously, it's way overplayed, but still a classic, and the only reason it was even playing was to keep me from having to talk to him because I was deciding whether to break up or try to work it out. Decision made.

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#672

We were in high school, she wanted me to listen to a song a I didn't like so I said no. She then went and sat in the rain for fifteen minutes and cried listening to the song on repeat.

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#673

In my middle school (yeah yeah middle school) i dated the class whore but after 3 days i couldnt deal with every single time i saw her in the hallways she needed a hug and kiss. Not a big deal but that's all. We never walked to class together or hung out at lunch. And i never got any sex. After i broke up with her the next day she took my friend's virginity.

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Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my middle school (yeah yeah middle school) i dated the class whore but after 3 days i couldnt deal with every single time i saw her in the hallways she needed a hug and kiss. Not a big deal but that's all. We never walked to class together or hung out at lunch. And i never got any sex. After i broke up with her the next day she took my friend's virginity.

#674

She dropped her dildos (yeah plural) on the bar floor. Paid the tab and ghosted her ass. First and last date.

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#675

We got pizza and doughballs with a friend of mine. There weren't enough to go round equally. After that, things stumbled on for about another month. We agreed for it to finally end whilst on a family holiday in Italy.

Was still getting bitter texts six months later.

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#676

We got pizza and doughballs with a friend of mine. There weren't enough to go round equally. After that, things stumbled on for about another month. We agreed for it to finally end whilst on a family holiday in Italy.

Was still getting bitter texts six months later.

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#677

He thought dogs were stupid and scary

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#679

He wears sandals.

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#680

Dated a guy for 1 year. First 6 months were okay although he never really showed his feelings. After 6 months he basically moved in with me and started to command me around. The Appartement had to be spotless by the time he got home from work and also wait him with hot food and cold beer although he knew very well I had a job of my own. He always picked out my outfits if we were going out somewhere.
Last straw: he went on vacation with his parents and got pregnant some hooker. #dodgedabullet

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#681

He didn't talk to me for a week. We were in the same calculus and band classes and rode the same bus home. My birthday came and still nothing. I changed my relationship status on facebook and the next day he came up to me and asked why /I/ broke up with /him/.

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#682

We were going out for about two weeks when he willingly told me that he was only five inches. Which isn't a problem, it was the fact that he was too afraid to kiss me. I'd go to make the move and he'd shy away. He walked up to me and a friend the next day and I just looked at him without saying a word then proceeded to walk away and we never talked again. I guess we didn't "officially" break up.

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#683

He insulted Kendrick Lamar in front of me. That was enough.

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#684

One of the scumbags I meet few years ago asked once for a razor gilette to shave his legs to go football ( soccer ) then used all my hair muse and his hair looked like it was licked by a cow then talked to himself in the mirror : I'm pretty - don't I ? Lol

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#685

I went ghost on a girl for acting upset on our second date and not opening up to me. If you can't trust me then why are you wasting my time? Weird thing is we had our first kiss on that date and I felt nothing because I was still thinking about how she didn't wanna talk or open up about why she's upset. The free dinner was nice tho.

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#686

He cried during the sex...every time! I thought it was about me but then I randomly met his ex and she said that was the very same reason she broke up with him too

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#687

I was too perfect for him

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#688

I dated a girl who is threesome and can multitask.

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#689

I went on a date with a girl whom I found on tinder. We met an evening, watch movies, ate food, roam around in the streets for sometime.. On the way back to my place, we passed a speed breaker and she farted. Not just one, but it was series of farts coming out with each of the hump on the road. I dropped her home and went back to my place. That night I deleted tinder

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#690

I once had sex with this girl who once she orgasmed.. she then said 'right I'm done now, you can keep pumping away though'
INSTANT BONER KILLER!

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#691

I once went out with a guy that wore a 3 piecesuit to the movies. When I asked him why he was wearing it he said "Because it's a date!"

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#692

She informed me one day while watching a science program that the earth is only around 7 thousand years old, because the bible says so and no amount of proof that it was older would change her mind. I didn't even finish the program before I was out the door.

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#693

We were friends before we started going out. He tried to commit suicide by pills after his last gf broke up with him (sign). We never hung out with my friends only mutual friends from his school. He caught me off guard one day & said he loved me, I said it back and didn't realize until after. Tried to break up with him 2 weeks later & he cried for 2 hours. Ended up breaking up with him online because I was interested in someone else. 2 weeks later he showed up at my school trying to get me back.

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#694

Dated this girl, never noticed that she didn't use napkins until we went to this burger place in Galveston. We're eating and I go to grab a napkin, we don't have any on the table so I grab a roll from an empty table. Offer her one and she tells me, "I don't believe in paper towels." Umm...well it's right in front of you, so they do exist. "They harm the environment and if it's not reusable I don't use them." She wiped her mouth and hands on her clothes, biped right out of there.

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#695

He broke up with me by not calling for a week, not telling me where he was and when I did my best to make sure he was alive and not in a ditch, told me "you crossed the line when you called my mother to see where I was." 2 years later, he asked me to be his roommate... oh yes, the kicker of it all? He had actually gone out of town to cheat on me. She told him no.

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#696

I once dated a guy back in high school who thought the best way to show affection was to kidney shot me every time he saw me. To top it off he told me I wasn't worth the $5 he paid for us to go to the winter formal. Safe to say the relation ship crashed and burned after that. I hear now that he has diabetes, is still and is married to a crazy chick who has cheated on him multiple times and tried to throw their kitten down the stairs because "it was the reason why their relationship had issues"

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#697

He was a body builder lmao Mr.Vegas but he took me on broadway to eat n was wearing cowboy boots he got the boot

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Willie D'Kay
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Little known fact but cowboy boots are the number one footwear suggested by podiatrists for people who suffer from heal spurs.

#698

I was stressed over college, had six exams and 6 make up exams the same month and he was passing everything without even a mild anxiety attack.he was also the teachers pet and kissing up to them, he was their favourite aswell since he was older than any other student and hot. I just couldn't stand him being mr perfect eventhought I knew it was my fault for spending the year procastinating and going out so I told him I needed to focus on my future.I met my next boyfriend at the library that month

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#699

me and my best friend were texting each other when she sent me a sex song and since i'm only 13 i think she ruined my childhood memories with a sex song...i never saw my parents the way i used to...

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#700

I was seeing a lad who would call me while I was on my way to work/home. Speak to me for the duration. Then text within minutes after hanging up to ask what I was planning on doing for the day/night.
This was every time I travelled to or from work.
I worked 12 hour shifts.

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#701

Back when I was about 13 years old and was just entering junior high, I started dating this boy. I really liked him and thought he was cute, however I couldn't bring myself to kiss him, I would always turn away and reject him and I realized it was because he had a mole on his chin and I was worried I would touch it if I leaned in to kiss him. Grossed me out, and I couldn't tell him either because it was too weird and harsh, so I just used the excuse that I "wasn't ready"

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#702

He kissed me (behind a pillow on a bus). So I dumped him.

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#703

He had really small hands. And I can't stand dating a guy that is skinnier than me. And I'm average sized.

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#704

she banged someone else and didn't ask if I wanted to join. some girls don't like money and sex. just one or the other. so peace out.

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#705

Are these humans under 14 ? Too young to be in a relationship.

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#706

He had the tiniest dick ever.....I swear to god my little finger was bigger!! He was a big guy too! 6" 2 n 180 lbs!! How can he have a pencil dick?? #Gutted #DidntFeelAThing

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Kenny Lawhorn
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*breaks up with gf because her boobs are small* *gets screamed at and called a shallow, sexist*

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#707

I was going to break up with this guy cause he was an alcoholic. Well, he gets in a wreck and I feel bad and stick it out a while longer. He beats me to the punch! Breaks it off with me first! I was so mad!!!

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#708

She told me that she hate System of a Down (my favorite band) and her favorite bands were Avenged Sevenfold and Bring Me The Horizon (two bands I hate).

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#709

I was sort of talking to this dude who loved an hour away. I met him through a church friend. One day he says he's coming up my way for the day to hang out with friends. He asked if he could come over but I was in a bad mood and I told him no. He offered ice cream and a movie. After several attempts at telling him no, I finally agreed. He shows up with ice cream and a movie and layer says "I'm glad you agreed, I was circling your neighborhood for a while till you said yes" never spoke to him after

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#710

My crush slept over one night after talking for a few weeks. We were making out and he came with no physical contact of that region. Never hung out again....

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#711

His thighs were thicker than mine.

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#712

She said "I'm not a star wars fan, Star trek was way better."

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#713

After an evening of great sex, I think she realized I was a scrub as I finger blasted her in the back of my moms Metro LSI. In retrospect its no shocker that we broke up.

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#714

I dated this dude (who was really unattractive) because I felt sorry for him. Like, he was shorter than me, he had no nice features whatsoever. Never had a girlfriend in his life. I wanted to be a good person.
So, we hadn't hung out for a little bit, so I just broke up with him, literally because I was bored. We remained friends afterwards.... And then about three years later, he took advantage of me when I was drunk, even though I was in a relationship.

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#715

it's was my first relationship, she was in my class but we never talk.. after school was over.. i contacted her on Facebook.. we used to talk online.. but never met in person.. in entire course of our relationship we meet only once.. and on next day we broke up.

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#716

One of the scumbags I meet few years ago asked once for a gilette razor to shave his legs to go football ( soccer ) then used all my hair muse and his hair looked like it was licked by a cow then talked to himself in the mirror : I'm pretty - don't I ? Lol

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#717

He told me Wiccans were just discount witches. I'm Wiccan. Boy, bye.

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#718

Guy I dated back in high school went to a friends house party, got very drunk and let said friend shave his head and eyebrows bald. Suffice to say, he looked like one of the coneheads and I couldn't look him in the eye again. I went on to avoid him at every given opportunity until he got the message because I felt too bad telling him I didn't want to see him again because he looked like Beldar Conehead. I was young.

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#719

When she snored she sounded like a rusty diesel engine....

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Vera Deme
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, you should have told her. I never knew I had such problem before mo colleagues shared that with me after a trip together and being me and other two in one room. Later on I looked for medical help and got operated. Since than I was told that I am fine and never sounded again like a "rusty diesel engine".

#720

He had a really small cock (I lied 2 him & myself that it was"big") & always came in 14-28 seconds..(Yes I counted) I forgave it b/c I could get myself off lol. He was a drunk & dirty pot head w/ the WORST breath ever, he tried 2 brush & swish it away but it never smelled normal! BUT the kicker was when I shaved his ass crack (He stunk) his asshole was HUGE, like gay porn take-it-in-the-ass HUGE! He lied & said he didn't really love me so I left cursed objects all over his shitty house! :-D lol

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#721

We were friends before we started going out. He tried to commit suicide by pills after his last gf broke up with him (sign). We never hung out with my friends only mutual friends from his school. He caught me off guard one day & said he loved me, I said it back and didn't realize until after. Tried to break up with him 2 weeks later & he cried for 2 hours. Ended up breaking up with him online because I was interested in someone else. 2 weeks later he showed up at my school trying to get me back.

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#722

Together for YEARS... in that time , she gave me oral 2x .... then while I am the hospital she hooks up with high school crush , you guessed it , blowjob in the parking lot. Guess she WANTED to be a truck stop hooker.

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#723

After 6 months I broke it off because he didn't call me until 4 pm on New Years Day!

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#724

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#725

I dtarted going out with this girl from holand. She was extremely hot and she told me that she was on the pill, so when I couldnt find a condom I took the risk. She was the hottest girl i'd ever been with so i was very proud. But a couple of weeks later it started to hurt when I pissed. I got chlamydia from her so I stopped talking to her. In hindsight... i'd do it again.

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#727

She would call me cute names like sugar, honey and sweetheart, and end our conversations with affectionate phrases like Mucho Besitos (Spanish for many kiss, as she is Mexican). I later caught her using the EXACT same phrases when she was talking to her 10 year old son. It made me feel both less important and a little disturbed at the same time.

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#728

He had hairy toes.

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#729

He wanted to watch me paint.
Not my paintings, but actually sit and watch me paint something.
It wasn't just weird but seriously creepy.

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#730

She liked pineapple on her pizza and only pineapple... 4 months in I couldn't take it anymore

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#731

I remember dumping a girl because she didn't know algebra.. We were in middle school.

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#732

When he blew his nose, he sounded like a goddamn foghorn.

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#733

He peroxided his beautiful long brown locks. It fried his hair, made it yellow and he had to shave it all off. He looked really bad with no hair. I left his house after saying he looks good and never replied to his messages again.

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#734

Broke up with him because his sunburnt skin started peeling all over his body. Couldn't touch him. I don't remember what excuse I gave him but i just had to get away from his flaky lizard skin!

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#735

The Bitch ate my fries...

Nuff said.

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#736

His top eyelashes pointed down.

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#737

I dated a girl for a year first 6 months she was ok second 6 months she turned crazy. She was mixed race (not that that's a problem) she had large tiddys and her nipples looked like beef burgers. I am laughing now thinking about her "burger nips" fucked her off couse she was too crazy for me.

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#738

I have two rules, don't eat on the bed and never touch my tim-tams.
So I come home from work and there she is studying away and and a plates on the bed, I could deal, but then there's the fork, also on the bed, I got angry and she was like but I'm studying and hungry and yea small argument for a minute or so, but I dealt with it. I go to leave the room and what do I spy on the floor, empty packet of tim-tams. I got furious and all came rushing back and we ended, after two years, over biscuits..

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#739

I lived with my parents at school so I didn't have my own place for sex.
I'm a big Yankees fan and a muslim. She was a red Sox fan and a jew.
I thought we'd have amazing sex, but the F*cking Johnny Damon (Red Sox) poster o the wall kept staring at me. I'd turn around and there was the whole f*cking red Sox team poster.
Couldn't take it. This was in 2005, 2004 was still fresh in my head.

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#740

She put her shirts on inside out. Shirt would be inside out and she'd stick her head through the top of the head hole and pull it on so it was inside in. IDK why it bothered me so much but it did.

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#741

His schedule was too irregular.

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#743

He peroxided his beautiful long brown locks. It fried his hair, made it yellow and he had to shave it all off. He looked really bad with no hair. I left his house after saying he looks good and never replied to his messages again.

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#744

She hated my shoes lol that was it. Broke up with her the next day

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#745

once ditched a guy before our first date, he was just way to full on and abit of a wet wipe! so i told him i was sick then went out with my girls and was paranoid id see him all night long

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#746

He kept trying to hug me. I was 12, okay?

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#747

She believed that 9.11 made terrorists and Osama bin Laden. She also believed that moon landing was real

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#748

He made crazy sex faces

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#749

we dated for 3 years and it was one of the best relationships i've ever had and the best sex. Long story short though, one day he came home from work after having accidentally cutting himself and his blood was RED. For years he had been telling me that he worked for the FBI as an intergalactic consult. ALIENS DONT BLEED RED.

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#750

Who so ever broke up because his bf claimed that green tea is bad for health you are a dumb shit coz it really is. I am dietician 😂

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Lynsay Critchley
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A "dietician" that cannot spell...yeah, we're all going to trust your words of wisdom.

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#751

When she watched shows on the DVR she wouldn't fast forward through the commercials.

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#752

She had a smell. It wasn't a bad smell. It was quite pleasant. Everyone likes her smell. I hated that. I only date women that don't have any smell at all now.

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Catalina Ioan
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

O... K... *Stepping away slowly, not turning back and maintaining eye contact*

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#753

She wore a bra to bed because she thought the support would keep her breasts from sagging.

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#754

Where are the female stories? It seems like only men like to find the needle in a haystack.

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Colin Bayler
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously, we are all perfect and problems in relationships are solely due to females. Thought you knew that.

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#756

So i was dating this girl n she always said i was banging her wrong so I came home one day all I hear is moaning walk into the room her, her mom, n her sister all naked getting it in so I joined in 30 mins to an hour I bust my nut in her mom n sisters mouth she dumps me cause they said that's the greatest sex they ever had.

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