Learning French in school is often all about the grammar rules and the pronunciations which can often make language learning no more fun than watching paint dry. Things would have been a lot more interesting if our teachers had taught us a few of the more fun, bizarre but easy-to-use French expressions that are out there. And there are plenty of them.

Here at The Local, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to select some of the best and most colorful French expressions, that you wouldn’t have picked up in a classroom. Use them on a daily basis to impress the locals or quite possibly reduce them to hysterics. See how many of these you’ve had cause to deploy.

Let us know some more great French expressions that you won’t learn at school, and we’ll include them.

More info: thelocal.fr

“It’s going to shit bubbles!”

What you say when there’s about to be one hell of a fight.
French: Ça va chier des bulles.

“With my dick and my knife.”

When you have to do something with very few tools.
French: Avec ma bite et mon couteau.

“I’m gonna make myself shit like a dead rat.”

For when you’re bored to death.
French: Se faire chier comme un rat mort.

“Oh, the cow!”

Essentially, OMG.
French: Ah, La vache.

“Making sausage.”

When someone’s acting like a fool.
French: Faire l’andouille.

“There’s no reason to whip a cat.”

To convey that it’s not worth making a fuss.
French: Il n’y a pas de quoi fouetter un chat.

“Bring me something to drink or I kill the dog!”

For when you’re dying of thirst.
French: À boire ou je tue le chien!

“There’s a testical in the soup!”

To express that there’s clearly a problem.
French: Il y une couille dans le potage.

“To have the cockroach.”

Another way to say someone’s depressed.
French: Avoir le cafard.

“To have an ass full of noodles!”

What you say about someone who’s lucky.
French: Avoir le cul bordé de nouilles.

“When chickens have teeth!”

In other words, never!
French: Quand les poules auront des dents.

“Jumping from the rooster to the donkey.”

When someone’s skipping from one subject to another.”
French: Sauter du coq à l’âne.

“To have saucepans hung on the ass.”

What you say about someone who’s haunted by a scandal.
French: Avoir des casseroles au cul.

“I see you coming with your big clogs!”

When someone’s finally getting to the point.
French: Je te vois venir avec tes gros sabots.

“Searching for the little beast.”

What you say about someone who’s always looking for a reason to complain.
French: Chercher la petite bête.

“They’re looking after their own onions.”

When someone’s minding their own business.
French: S’occuper de ses oignons.

“To have the wooden face.”

In other words, they’re hungover AF.
French: Avoir la gueule de bois.

“Let them fall like an old sock!”

When it’s time to ditch someone once and for all.
French: Laisser tomber quelqu’un comme une vieille chaussette.

“Fingers in the nose.”

When doing something blindly.
French: Les doigts dans le nez.

“To have back teeth that are swimming.”

When someone’s beyond stuffed or overfed.
French: Avoir les dents du fond qui baignent.

“To be of bad hair.”

“To be of bad hair.”

“To be combing the giraffe.”

What you say when someone’s doing something totally useless.
French: Peigner la girafe.

“They have not invented gunpowder.”

What you say about someone who’s not exactly all that smart.
French Ne pas avoir inventé la poudre.

“Breaking down open doors.”

To emphasize that someone is stating the obvious.
French: Enfoncer des portes ouvertes.

“Three metros too late.”

To describe someone who’s always a step behind.
French: Avoir trois métros de retard.

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