I was married, and wanted to make life a little mor excited. So when he came home from work I stood in the hallway naked, with a rose between my theeth. He opened the door, looked and me and said: Have you swallowed the vase?

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Belle_Pandamonium

Belle_Pandamonium

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In der Schule kam ich in einen Klassenraum und sehr hübsches Mädchen, das ich eigentlich kaum kannte kam auf mich zu sagte:"Hi, weißt du schon, dass Rodrigo und ich Schluss gemacht haben?" Und ich hab nur geantwortet:"Oh, das tut mir Leid." Und bin weggegangen.Danach habe ich den restlich Tag darüber nachgedacht, warum Sie das ausgerechnet mir erzählt hat. Warum zum Teufel grade mir? Und warum hat Sie dabei gelächelt?Das nächste mal als ich Sie sah fragte ich Sie, was Sie am Wochenende machen würde und antwortete: "Gar nichts, wollen wir zusammen ins Kino gehen." Und erst in diesem Augenblick klickte es bei mir. Und so endete die Geschichte mit einem Date. Und danach mit meiner Familie.

Quelle: www.reddit.com

djw319 Report

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Als Ich vor ein paar Jahren mit meinem damaligen Freund zusammen wohnte, fragte Ich Ihn einmal ob wir nicht zusammen duschen gehen wollen. Um Wasser zu sparen natürlich...
Seine Antwort: „Warum? Wir bezahlen doch gar nicht für das Wasser“.
Ende der Konversation.

Eternally_Curious_ Report

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Auf der Geburtstagsfeier eines Mädchens haben wir im Badezimmer rumgemacht, als Sie mir plötzlich zuflüsterte: “Du solltest besser gehen, bevor wir noch was Dummes anstellen”. Ich nickte und ging.

reddit Report

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Ich war in einer anderen Stadt in einer Bar und sprach an der Bar mit einem Mädchen. Im Laufe des Gesprächs kamen wir darauf, dass ich knapp 30 cm größer bin als Sie. Daraufhin sagte Sie: Das ist ja lustig. Morgen habe ich ein Date mit einem Kerl der 30 cm größer ist als ich. Und vielleicht schlaf ich danach mit Ihm.“
Und meine Antwort: „Wow, das ist ja ein merkwürdiger Zufall.“ Ich hab es erst gemerkt als im Flugzeug nach Hause saß....

reddit Report

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Eine Unterhaltung mit meinem Freund am Anfang unserer Beziehung.
Ich: „Der Anzug steht dir echt gut, aber auf dem Boden würde er noch besser aussehen.“
Er: „Dann würde der Anzug ja total zerknittern.“

Truffleshuffled Report

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“Hi, hier ist noch Platz in meinem Zelt, wenn du möchtest.”
„Danke aber ich mein eigenes Zelt mitgebracht.“
Und das ist der Grund warum meine Freunde sagen ich bin ein sozial unfähig.

Jetstream-Sam Report

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Als wir um 2 Uhr nachts in meinem Wohnzimmer Fern guckten.
Sie trägt Erdbeerlipgloss auf...
Ich: „ Was soll den der Lipgloss um 2 Uhr nachts?“
Sie: „Erdbeerlipgloss schmeckt so gut.“
Ich: „Du bist merkwürdig.“
Sie: „Willst du mal probieren?“
Ich: „Ne, ich weiß wie das schmeckt.“
Das Ergebnis daraus waren Jahre von Selbstmitleid und Reue.

LordCande Report

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Sie: „Gehst du zu der Party heute Abend?“
Ich: „Ja ich guck mal vorbei. Ist wahrscheinlich aber eh langweilig.“
Sie: „Glaub auch. Dachte eher, dass ich lieber zu Hause bleibe heute.“
Ich: „Ist wahrscheinlich die bessere Entscheidung.“
Sie: „Ok… also ich bin einfach zu Hause heute. Meine Mitbewohner gehen alle weg.”
Ich: „Klingt cool. Meine Mitbewohner sind immer hier.“
Sie: „Ok, also ich bin halt alleine hier in meiner Wohnung. Falls die Party langweilig ist.“
Ich: „Das ist gut“

duh_metrius Report

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Einmal habe ich meinem Freund geschrieben, dass ich einen Vibrator gekauft habe, für die Nächte in denen er arbeiten muss. Seine Antwort war: „Oh cool. Welche Farbe?” Daraufhin habe ich ihm ein Foto geschickt und er antwortete: “Kann man den auch hinten rein stecken?“ Ich hab Ihm dann geschrieben: „Komm doch zu mir und finde es raus“. Und seine Antwort zwei Minuten später war nur: „Ist ok, ich hab’s grade gegoogelt."

wheat-empress Report

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Vor ein paar Jahren habe ich auf dem Sommerfest meiner Schule geholfen. An dem Tag war ich freiwillig das Schulmaskottchen (ein riesen Bärenkostüm). Der Job war ziemlich langweilig und ich fühlte mich wie ein Pädophiler, weil kleine Kinder die ganze kamen und mich umarmten. Dabei waren die Kinder genau in der Größe, dass Ihre Gesichter genau auf der Höhe meiner Lenden waren. Als meine Schicht fast vorbei war, kam ein Mädchen in meinem Alter (17) und riss mir den Kopf des Kostüms ab und lief damit weg. Weil ich nicht für den Kopf von diesem doofen Kostüm bezahlen wollte lief ich Ihr nach, in einen dunklen Klassenraum mit zugezogenen Vorhängen. Sie sagte so was Ähnliches wie: „Oh guck mal hier Herr Papa Bär, ich habe deinen Kopf gestohlen. Ich war ein böses Mädchen.“ Ich, in meinem Ärger vollkommen immun gegenüber dem was Sie sagte, griff mir den Bärenkopf und motze beim rausstürmen: „Die Kinder brauchen mich!“

P4TTYCAKES Report

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I was staying the night at a female friend's house. I had a huge crush on her and it was the first night sleeping in the same bed.
Her: Just so you know, jeans aren't allowed in my bed. You have to take them off.
Me: Hahaha that's a dumb rule keeps them on
That one still stings
Ich habe bei einer Freundin übrnachtet, auf die ich schon länger scharf war. Es war das erste mal, dass wir im gleichen Bett schlafen sollten.
Sie: „Nur damit du es weißt, Jeans sind in meinem Bett tabu. Die musst du ausziehen.“
Ich: „ Hahaha was für eine dumme Regel.“ Und behielt Sie an.
Der tut bis heute weh.

Czar-Fox Report

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Oh mein Gott, dieser Post passt so gut zu meinem Freund.
Er arbeitete an seiner Doktorarbeit in Physik meine ich. Er war sehr konzentriert darauf und ich habe ihn in den letzten Wochen nur ein einziges mal getroffen. Aber er war immer mit diesem einen Mädchen unterwegs, das ziemlich cool ist. Die beiden hingen immer zusammen rum während er für seine Arbeit forschte und Sie arbeitete in dieser Zeit an Ihrer Masterarbeit. Außerdem gingen die beiden einmal die Woche zu Burger King, um die 1-Euro Specials zu essen (wie das so als armer Student ist).
Es war ziemlich offensichtlich, dass es etwas zwischen den beiden lief.
Wir trafen uns, als er so gut fertig mit seiner Arbeit war und ich fragte Ihn, was er so vorhabe. Und er antwortete, dass er Sie fragen möchte mit Ihm auszugehen.
Ich war davon ziemlich überrascht, weil ich den Eindruck hatte, dass die beiden seit einigen Monaten miteinander ausgehen. Also frage ich Ihn, ob zwischen den beiden jemals was lief. Und er antwortete: „Ja, jedes Mal, wenn Sie rüberkommt.“ Und die beiden übernachten ca. 5 Nächte die Woche zusammen. Also fragte ich, ob Sie zusammen ausgingen. Kurz, Sie gingen einmal die Woche zu Burger King. „Genießt du die Zeit mit Ihr zusammen?“ fragte ich und die Antwort war: „Ja, ich bin froh, wenn wir Zeit zusammen verbringen, reden und so.“ Das klang für mich verdächtig stark ach einer Beziehung. Darauf angesprochen sagte er dann: „Ach, das erklärt dann auch das hier.“ Sie hatte ihm eine SMS „Alles liebe zum 6-monatigem Jubiläum, Baby“!! geschrieben. Selbst danach war er immer noch skeptisch.
Also Ja, mein Freund hat einen kleinen Schaden, aber die beiden sind bis heute zusammen.

jkashins Report

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Ein Mädchen, dass bei mir zu Besuch war, hat mich einmal gefragt, ob Sie bei mir duschen kann und hat die Badezimmertür, quasi als Einladung, weit offengelassen.
Aber ich dachte ich bin witzig und habe Sie mit Eiswürfeln beworfen.
NO REGRET

oh_i_get_it Report

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Ich: „Ich finde dich echt süß und ich mag dich. Sehr.
Er: „.... Oh, danke.”
Danach habe ich mich einfach damit abgefunden und akzeptiert, dass nicht mehr sind als Freunde. 3 Monate später, hat er mich endlos lange getröstet nachdem ich eine furchtbare Nacht durchgemacht hat und mir dann gestanden, dass er seit 6 Monaten Gefühle für mich hat. Als ich Ihn daraufhin fragte, warum er nichts gesagt hat, als ich Ihm meine Gefühle für Ihn gestanden habe, antwortete er: „Ich war nicht sicher ob du mich wirklich magst.“
Das war vor 4 Jahren und er ist immernoch so süß und zurückhaltend und schläft grade neben mir.

InappropriateUnicorn Report

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Sie: „Was dagegen, wenn wir zum Reden irgendwo hingehen, wo es ruhiger ist?“
Ich: „Es ist doch gar nicht so laut hier. Sag mir einfach hier was du sagen möchtest.“
Ich bin einfach nicht zu retten.

stupidlygenius Report

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Sie erzählte mir, dass Sie große, muskuläre, haarige Kerle mag.
Ein paar Tage später fragte Sie mich, warum Jungs die Zeichen nie deuten können, die man Ihnen gibt. Ich bin ein großer, muskulöser und haariger Typ.
Wir sind jetzt zusammen.

TheReginator Report

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Ich bin ein Kerl und eine Freundin kam eines Abends zu mir, um einen Film zu gucken. Ich habe nicht viel darüber nachgedacht. Wir guckten also den Film. Sie auf Ihrer und ich auf meiner Seite der Couch. Alles gut.
Nach dem zweiten Film schaute Sie zu mir rüber und sagte plötzlich: „Scheiß drauf!“. Kurz darauf hat Sie mich regerecht bestiegen.
Und ich habe erst in dem Moment als Sie auf mir saß und sich auszog, dass Sie etwas von mir wollte.
Ich bin schon ziemlich schnell...manchmal.

flargenhargen Report

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Mein jetziger Freund und ich haben in dieser merkwürdigen “Freunde die miteinander flirten” Phase angefangen. Ich habe versucht Ihn dazu zu bringen den ersten Schritt zu machen. In einer echt warmen Sommernacht im August saßen wir mit ein paar Freunden in seinem Garten und haben ein paar Bier getrunken. Ich saß auf dem gleichen Gartenstuhl wie er und wir haben uns quasi umarmt. Dann meinte ich zu Ihm, dass mir etwas kalt sei.
Er stand daraufhin auf und fing an ein riesen Lagerfeuer aufzubauen und anzuzünden. Das Ganze hat ca. eine ganze Stunde gedauert. Danach hat er sich einfach in einen ANDEREN Stuhl gesetzt.

ironmanwannabegirl Report

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Ich hab mit meinen Jungs gechillt und ein Mädchen war auch dabei. Sie meinte dann: „ Wenn ich einem von Euch was anfangen würde, dann wäre es mit dir (mein Name)“. Und habe nur geantwortet: „Oh, danke.“

onthedippy Report

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Ich habe das schon mal gepostet, aber als ich in der Oberstufe war hatte ich mich in meine Nachbarin verliebt. Also habe ich eines Nachts geschrieben und Sie hat mir gesagt, dass Sie schon immer mal im Regen geküsst werden wollte. Kurz darauf schrieb Sie mir, ob wir uns in Ihrer Einfahrt treffen können und ich antwortete so etwas Ähnliches wie: „Bist du wahnsinnig? Es gießt draußen wie bekloppt.“

reddit Report

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Im letzten Schuljahr hatte ich die meisten Kurse zusammen mit einem Mädchen. Wir verstanden uns gut. Waren die zwei besten der Klasse und ich fand Sie echt süß. Kurz bevor wir unseren Abschluss hatten kam mit einer Freundin auf mich zu und sagte: „Willst du mich nicht was fragen?“
Ich: „... Nicht wirklich, ist irgendwas?
Sie: „Gehst du zum Abiball?“
Ich: „Weiß ich noch nicht. Ich habe niemanden mit dem ich gehen könnte.“
Ende der Unterhaltung.
Ich habe es leider erst Jahre danach verstanden. Aber ich bin am Ende mit meinen Jungs zum Ball gegangen. Ich bin ein Idiot.

Driftdrops Report

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In der Schule saß ich neben einem schüchternem Jungen, den ich mochte. Immer als mir kalt war habe mit meinem Arm seinen berührt und er hat seinen Arm nie weggezogen aber auch nie über etwas Anderes mit mir geredet als über den Unterricht. 10 Jahre später habe ich Ihn auf Facebook angeschrieben und Ihn gefragt, ob zu er zu dem 10-jährigen Klassentreffen kommt. Aus Spaß fragte ich, ob er mein Date sein möchte. Er antwortete: „Gerne. Warum nicht?“ Wir sind nächsten Monat seit 4 Jahren verheiratet. Bei dem Klassentreffen sagte er mir, dass er sich nicht an mich aus der schule erinnert.

GeezRoni Report

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Also, als ich 17 war habe ich dieses Mädchen kenngelernt und sie wollte sich mit mir treffen. Es war 2 Uhr nachts und wir chillten irgendwo bei Ihr in der Gegend. Um 3 sagte Sie dann zu mir: „Lass uns zu mir gehen und einen Kaffee trinken.“ Ich antwortete: „Nein danke. Ich bin müde aber das war cool. Lass uns das wiederholen.” Und bin nach Hause gegangen. Sie hat mir daraufhin nie wieder geantwortet.
Mit 31 saß ich meinen Freunden im Restaurant und haben über verpasste Chancen geredet. Und erst da kam der Geistesblitz. Sie wollte Sex verdammt noch mal. Doof gelaufen. :)

jesterb00m Report

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Sie: „Willst du nach der Schule mit zu mir kommen? Ich hab sturmfrei.
Ich: „Ja, ok.“
Also sind wir zu Ihr.
Sie: „Ich hab einen ausgebauten Dachboden. Ich chill da gerne und guck Filme.“
Ich: „Ok, cool.“
Also gehen nach oben, wo eine Couch, Bettlaken auf dem Boden ausgebreitet und ein Fernseher waren. Sie spielte irgendeinen Film und kam, um sich an mich zu kuscheln.
Sie: „Ok, und worauf hast du jetzt Lust?“
Ich: „Keine Ahnung“. Und sagte irgendwas über den Film.
Sie: „Mein letzter Freund hat es nie länger als 2 Minuten mit mir geschafft. Eigentlich hat es noch keiner länger geschafft.“
Ich: „Oh, ich würde länger durchhalten.“
Sie: „Ja?“
Ich: Wieder irgendwelches Zeug über den Film.

metalcheezburger Report

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Auf einer Klassenreise in der Oberstufe war verrückt nach einem Mädchen in meiner Klasse. Kurz gesagt: Wir haben angefangen rumzumachen, als wir mit Anderen in einem Zimmer gechillt und was getrunken haben. Dann sagte Sie zu mir, dass wir zurück in Ihr Zimmer gehen sollten, weil Sie etwas vergessen hat. Also gingen wir in Ihr Zimmer und Sie breitete sich auf dem Bett aus. Und ich ging auf die Knie und find nach dem Ding zu suchen, das Sie vergessen hatte.
Am Ende hatten wir nie Sex.

soxfan17 Report

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In der Oberstufe bin ich mit einem Mädchen ausgegangen und wir auf meinem Bett rumgemacht. Ich fing an Ihr den Nacken und zu küssen und sie kicherte und sagte: „Stop, das macht mich horny.“ Und mein jüngeres Ich dachte nur: „Sei ein Gentleman, Stop heißt Stop:“

kball20 Report

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Eines Tages, kurz bevor mein Mann von der Arbeit zurückkam, habe ich mich ausgezogen mir eines seiner Hemden angezogen und bin ins Bett gehüpft, um da zu warten bis er wiederkommt. Er kam nach Hause ging ins Schlafzimmer und dann Boom! Seine nackte Frau. Die Brüste hängen aus seinem Shirt auf dem Bett sitzend. Ich dachte ich war ziemlich eindeutig. Aber denkste. Er legte sich neben mir ins Bett und erzählte mir von seinem Tag und schlief dann ein. Ich dachte, dass er vielleicht einfach müde ist und ein kurzes Nickerchen macht. Also stand ich auf und ging den Flur entlang als mein Mann plötzlich aus dem Schlafzimmer gehechtet kommt und auf mich zu rennt und kurz vor mir zum Stehen kommt. In der Eile versuchte er trotzdem cool zu wirken, was ein bisschen merkwürdig war. Stellte sich heraus, dass er die ganze Zeit einfach nicht merkte, was ich vorhatte und Ihm grade erst das Licht aufging. Kurz darauf schleifte er mich zurück ins Schlafzimmer.

RedditsInBed2 Report

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Nach einem Gespräch mit meinem Freund darüber, dass ich nicht eindeutig genug sei, wenn es darum geht zur Sache zu kommen, habe beschlossen Ihm das Gegenteil zu beweisen. Also entschied ich Ihn zu überraschen indem ich mich nackt in einer Ecke des Bettes rekelte und Ihm, als er ins Zimmer kam zuflüsterte: „Hallo, du.“ Und seine Reaktion? Er kam ins Zimmer nickte mir kurz zu und sagte: Hi Baby! Ich muss mal schön kacken.“
Wir hatten in dieser Nacht dann kein Sex...

coffeeisheroin Report

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Ok, als ich in der Oberstufe war sind ein paar von uns im See schwimmen gegangen, wo ein Mädchen mich die ganze Zeit geneckt hat. Mit Wasser bespritzt, etc. Als wir danach zu einem Freund gegangen sind wollte ich meine Nassen Sachen in einem Schlafzimmer wechseln. Das Mädchen kam und zu mir und wollte mir “dabei helfen“. Ich habe Ihr gesagt, dass ich sehr wohl in der Lage sei, mich selbst umzuziehen.
Kann bitte jemand dieses Maß an Naivität überbieten?

portnux Report

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Es dauerte ganze 2 Jahre unserer Ehe, bis ich bemerkte, dass etwas läuft, wenn Sie mitten in der Nacht ein Bad nahm. Davor habe ich viel Zeit damit verbracht fern zu sehen, während meine Frau blitzsauber alleine im Bett lag.

1968PonyBoy Report

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Mein damals noch nicht Freund und ich warteten auf meinen Zug nach Hause. Er würde nachdem mein Zug kam mit dem Bus wieder nach Hause fahren. Als mein Zug kam dachte ich dann: „Scheiß drauf.“ Und küsste Ihn auf den Mund. Direkt danach stieg ich ein, als sich die Türen schon schlossen. Ich konnte seine Reaktion also nicht sehen und war auf einmal extrem nervös und dachte ich habe jetzt alles kaputt gemacht. Ungefähr 5 Minuten später bekam ich dann eine SMS: „Das war ein freundschaftlicher Kuss, oder?
Möge Gott Ihn selig haben.

Bimpnottin Report

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Ich kannte das Mädchen, um das es geht seit ca. einem Jahr und hatte eigentlich die ganze Zeit schon Gefühle für sie. Wir wurden mit der Zeit ziemlich gute Freunde und eines Tages war ich dann bei Ihr um Filme zu gucken. Als es spät wurde ich mich bereit machte aufzubrechen sagte zu mir: „Ich möchte nicht, dass du schon gehst.“
Ich dachte damals, vielleicht möchte Sie einfach nicht alleine sein oder so, also gingen wir hoch in Ihr Zimmer und ins Bett...wo erstmal nichts passierte. Wir gingen also einfach schlafen aber ich lag wach da und wünschte mir, dass ich die Eier hätte endlich den ersten Schritt zu machen, tat es aber nicht. Dann setzte sie sich plötzlich auf und zog ganz langsam Ihr Oberteil aus. So, dass ich es auch auf jeden Fall mitbekommen würde und legte sich wieder hin. Und ich verstand immer noch nicht, dass sie anscheinend genauso fühlte wie ich und tat wieder mal nichts. 10 Minuten später dann wurde ihr das ganze anscheinend zu doof und sie drehte sich einfach um und küsste mich. Danach hat sie mich die nächsten paar Monate mit der Geschichte aufgezogen.

King_Sloth_96 Report

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„Wusstest du, dass ich single bin?”
„Ja, bin ich auch.“
Ende der Unterhaltung.

meatballduckerton Report

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Nachdem ich grade wieder zu Hause gelandet war, stand ich am Gepäckband und da war dieses echt süße Mädchen und wir fingen an uns zu unterhalten. Wir sprachen darüber, dass nur als Touristin hier war noch nicht wirklich wusste was sie sich angucken wollte. Am Ende waren wir die beiden einzigen, die Ihre Koffer noch nicht hatten, was vermutlich damit zu tun hatte, dass wir die ganze Zeit am falschen Band standen. Als wir das bemerkten gingen wir zusammen unsere Koffer holen und redeten noch ein bisschen, als plötzlich meine Mutter anrief und sagte, dass sie draußen auf mich warten würde. Ich beendete die Unterhaltung und sagte, dass ich gehen müsse. Sie guckte mich ein bisschen verwirrt an als ich ging und dann im Auto hat es geklickt: Sie wollte, dass ich Ihr die Stadt zeige. Ich Idiot. Als ich meiner Mutter dann davon erzählte hat sie mich gefragt, ob ich schwul bin...

ErmBern Report

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Als wir mit ein paar Freunden bei meinem Freund zu Hause waren, kam ein Mädchen ein bisschen nervös zu mir und sagte: “Ich glaub ich muss lernen wie man gute Blowjobs gibt. Wahrscheinlich frag ich einfach einen Freund ob, naja ob ich ihn als Testobjekt benutzen kann. Der kann mir dann sagen, was ich anders machen soll.“ Ich war überrascht und sagte nur: „Oh, ok.“ Und ging dann die Siedler von Catan spielen.

reddit Report

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Letzten Sommer habe ich versucht meinen jetzigen Freund zu verführen. Wir waren bei einem gemeinsamen Freund und im Pool schwimmen. Als die anderen im Haus waren, um sich Ihre Schwimmsachen anzuziehen, gingen wir beide schon nach draußen zum Pool. Ich dachte ich nutz die Gelegenheit und zog mich so sexy wie möglich aus (meinen Bikini hatte ich unter meinen Klamotten). Er rannte einfach straight an mir vorbei und sprang mit einer gewaltigen Arschbombe ins Wasser.

8BitBirb Report

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In meinem ersten Semester an der Uni hat mir ein Mädchen an meinem Geburtstag ein Mixtape geschenkt (ja ich bin alt...). Das erste Lied darauf war „Why don’t we do it in the road?“ Es hat danach noch 3 Monate gedauert bis ich sie nach einem Date gefragt habe, weil ich es einfach nicht geschnallt hab. Jetzt sind wir verheiratet. :)

Chickens_dont_clap Report

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Ich habe einen Kerl kennen gelernt, der grade erst anfing Game of Thrones zu gucken. Ich habe ihm einen Link gegeben, damit wir zusammen bei ihm gucken können. Ich dachte, dass wäre ein guter Aufhänger um Zeit alleine miteinander zu haben. Am Ende hat er einfach alleine einen Endlosmarathon gestartet und alle Folgen geguckt. Mittlerweile sind wir zusammen, aber die 7. Staffel gucken wir bitte zusammen.

avameow Report

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Ich habe ihm jeden Tag geschrieben – Er dachte ich mach das, weil wir gute Freunde sind. Ich habe ihm Spitznamen gegeben – Er dachte ich mach nur Spaß. Ich habe ihn andauernd gefragt wie ich aussah – Er hat sich nichts dabei gedacht. Ich habe immer wieder Wetten mit ihm angefangen und der Verlierer musste immer etwas tun, was ziemlich sexueller Natur war – er dachte ich mache immer nur Spaß. Ich musste Ihm erst betrunken ins Gesicht sagen, dass ich mit Ihm schlafen möchte, damit er merkt, dass ich etwas von ihm will. Naja jedenfalls bin ich froh, dass ich an diesem Abend so betrunken war, sonst wären wir jetzt vielleicht nicht seit 7 Jahren zusammen.

Eledren Report

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Zu mir kam mal ein Mädchen und hat mir wortwörtlich gesagt, dass sie mich mag und mit mir ausgehen will. Ich dachte Sie meint das nicht ernst. Sie meinte es ernst...

bassfacemasterrace Report

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Mit 19, nach meinem ersten richtigen Date (auch wenn ich mir damals nicht mal sicher war, ob es ein richtiges Date ist) als wir ins Kino gingen habe ich Sie nach Hause begleitet. Als wir vor ihrer Tür standen sagte sie zu mir, dass es nicht nötig gewesen wäre Sie ganz bis zur Tür zu bringen. Ich antwortete: „Ich bin halt ein Gentleman.“ Sie dreht sich von der Tür zu mir und fragte was ein richtiger Gentleman noch so macht. Und ich trete daraufhin wirklich einen Schritt zurück, verbeuge mich, hebe kurz meine Cap hoch und habe noch sowas gesagt wie: „Ich hatte einen wundervollen Abend, gute Nacht Madame.“ Ich war schon halb zu Hause bis ich gemerkt habe, was ich verpasst habe und selbst heute einige Jahre danach tut es weh daran zurück zu denken.

esoteric_enigma Report

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Ich habe mal Bild von einem Karnevalskostüm zugeschickt bekommen. Im Nachhinein glaube ich aber es einfach nur ein Bild im BH. Jedenfalls habe ich geantwortet, dass Ihr kalt werden würde.

reddit Report

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Als ich noch zur Schule ging bin ich immer mit diesem einen Mädl nach Hause gegangen. Ab und zu fragte Sie mich, ob mit zu Ihr kommen will, um ein bisschen rumzuhängen. An einem Tag sagte Sie zu mir: „Meine Eltern sind nicht da und kommen auch erst heute Abend wieder.“ Und fragte, ob es irgendwelche Spiele gibt, die ich schon immer mal mit einem Mädchen spielen wollte. Meine Antwort war: „Weiß nicht... vielleicht Tekken oder so.“ Und wir spielten ganz alleine im Haus 2 Stunden lang Tekken.

ask_me_if_Im_lying Report

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Als ich das erste Mal bei einem Typ übernachtet habe, von dem ich schon länger was wollte, sagte ich ihm, dass ich nicht gerne alleine in einem fremden Haus schlafe. Das stimmte sogar größtenteils, ich krieg dann immer so ein beklemmendes Gefühl. Also holte er eine Matratze in sein Zimmer und spielte eine Playlist mit beruhigender Musik, was ziemlich süß war und ich habe auch echt gut geschlafen.
Am nächsten Morgen wachte ich in seinem Bett auf und er guckte mich an und fragte, ob die ganze Zeit einfach in seinem Bett schlafen wollte. Ich kicherte ein bisschen. :)
Wir sind jetzt schon seit einiger Zeit zusammen.

bucketoswampmonsters Report

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Wir haben Eis gegessen und sie hat sich “ausversehen” etwas auf die Wange geschmiert und mich gefragt ob ich es wegmachen könnte. Ich nahm die letzte Serviette und wischte Ihr die Wange ab. Kurz darauf hat sich natürlich wieder “ausversehen“ die andere Wange beschmiert und mich freundlich darüber aufgeklärt, dass ich es ja ablecken könnte, weil ja keine Servietten mehr da waren. Ich sagte nur: „Ne ich mag keine Erdbeere.“ Und wischte Ihr mit meinem trockenen Ellenbogen das Gesicht ab.
Im Nachhinein hätte ich wenigstens mein T-Shirt benutzen sollen.

dingledog Report

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Ich habe einem Kerl von der Arbeit den ich süß finde geschrieben: „Hi, was machst du heute Abend so?” Anstatt zu Antworten rief er mich panisch an: „Warum, was ist los?“ Er dachte es geht um die Arbeit und ich habe etwas Dringendes womit er mir helfen soll. Also lachte ich und antwortete: „Nein, hab nur so gefragt.“ Und er: „Ok, Gott sei Dank.“ Und hat aufgelegt...

rabbit-heartedgirl Report

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Hey Apple Store Genius, die beste Antwort auf: “Kann ich deine Nummer haben, dann können wir zusammen bei mir lernen.” Ist nicht die Augen zu rollen und zu sagen: „Oh, weil du so viel schlauer bist als ich. Nein Danke ich brauche keine Hilfe:“
Aber naja, mit anzuschauen wie sich dein Kollege ein paar Meter weiter daraufhin fasst eingepinkelt hätte vor Lachen war es wert.

LadyParnassus Report

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Nach einem Date wurde ich in Ihre Wohnung zum Kaffee eingeladen. Ich antwortete: „Nein danke, wenn ich so spät Kaffee trinke kann ich nicht schlafen.“ Erst als ich Seinfield sah hab ich gemerkt, dass ich die Dating Fähigkeiten von George Constanza habe.

timmyt3333 Report

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Per SMS
Sie: „Hey ;)”
Ich: „Hi”
Sie: „Ich bin alleine zu Hause willst du rüberkommen.“
Ich: „Es ist so kalt draußen...“
Ich nicht mal darüber nachgedacht, bin ich abends im Bett lag.

Saigeman123 Report

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Einen Sommer lang habe ich die Nachtschicht in einem Hotel gearbeitet. Eine Kollegin war eine echt schöne Blondine. An einem Freitagabend kam ich, als Ihre Schicht grade zu Ende war. Sie kam zu mir und sagte: „Deine Vertretung ist krank. Du bist alleine heute Nacht. Wenn du möchtest kann ich ein paar Stunden hierbleiben. Am Wochenende alleine zu arbeiten ist echt kacke.“ „Nein Danke, ist schon ok.“ sagte ich. Und fragt noch ein paarmal nach ob ich mir sicher sei, bevor Sie lächelnd sagte: „Du Dummi, ich glaube du verstehst nicht ganz. Ich möchte wirklich gerne ein bisschen hierbleiben.“ Ich lächelte auch und sagte: „“OK, danke.“
Dann ging ich, um die Kreditkartenbelege zu sortieren.

reddit Report

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Oh my god, they literally pulled me on top of them. We were together visiting a friends house, and she walked in to his bedroom and I followed after, so she turned around and grabbed me by the tie then literally pulled me down on top of her on the bed. So what do I do? Get up and apologize.

eggshitter Report

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Put out my hand for him to hold and he high fived me.

emk0626 Report

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I'm a guy and I've told this story before but I must again to make clear how oblivious we are:
Met this girl through my (female) best friend. Her and I became friends due to our mutual love of movies. She's come by most evenings and we'd chill, smoke a jernt and watch foreign films, work through the Criterion collection or catch some underground cult classics...she'd often stay well into the night and sleep over. Often in my room with me.
This went on for a long while and then one day she just disappeared, cut off FB and everything -- gone. I knew I did nothing so I figured "life change" and went on....
Flash forward to years later/last year-ish...I'm on the phone with my best friend and make some joke about 'Netflix and Chill' to her, she says "THATS WHAT ******* SPENT MONTHS TRYING TO DO WITH YOU"...I swear I didn't know until that moment and worst part is, I was head over heels for that girl.

thatswhatshesaidxx Report

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Asked a guy for his number after a Meetup. Went on a date with him that he didn't realize was a date until his friend that we ran into texted him to apologize for crashing it. Currently sitting on the couch next to him, 3 years later, looking at dogs that are available for adoption. He eventually caught on.

wearsredsox Report

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Went on a date with a girl and she asked if I wanted to come back to hers and stay over. I thought it was perfect as I had work in the morning and she lived right around the corner. I literally got into her bed, said good night, turned over and went to sleep. About a year later something reminded me of that night and the penny dropped. What a f*cking idiot.

thekungfupanda Report

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Dude here.
Girl at work is standing in front of the door I need to walk through with her back turned to me. I say "excuse me" and wait for her to move. Instead of stepping to the side, she drops her pen, and literally digs her ass into my crotch. I'm talking sliding the weenie between the buns here. Didn't think anything of it.
Couple days later she's like "Hey gshock37, some of us from work are going to the bar later, but I need a date. Know anyone who wants to go?"
My response: Hmm, not off the top of my head.
Yeah, I'm not suave.

gshock37 Report

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After many moons of trying get this guy in bed I straight up humped his leg in an act of horny desperation. He thought it was hilarious. Years later he asked me why we never hooked up.
Edit: some clarification
We were making out on his couch at the time. I didn't just attack him and try to f*ck his leg.

Alicewouldnever Report

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We were leaving the beach, and I decided to try the change the suit under the towel trick. Keeping eye contact, I told him if I messed up and flashed him, I hope he likes what he sees. He promply turned around to give me privacy. I kissed him later that night-he got that one ;)

lengthlyeyebrowhair Report

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Oh so many. Just hints of like "It's getting late, you should stay over" and I respond with "Nah, I really like my bed."
Or getting a text at 3AM from a girl who said her bed was freezing and if only there was someway for it to heat up. I recommended a jumper.
I'll tell you, a lot of hints are missed when you are just f*cking tired.

karateandfriendship9 Report

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Well there was one time i did not get the hint.
I was walking home from school with a girl, and all of a sudden she kiss me and asks me if i want to come home with her because her parents were not home.
I said no because i had to get home in time to watch Rex Hunt's Fishing Adventures

vebben Report

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.. i have a pole in my living room. so one day i dressed like a school girl and waited for my boyfriend to get home. he walks in and i started doing some pole tricks and he literally walked past me into the bedroom to change.. i was like 'uh hellllooooo im trying to f*ck' and he said 'oh i just thought you were dressed like that'.
he kinda killed it.

Bimpnottin Report

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Me: "I really wanna try to sleep with a tall girl, see how it's like."
Attractive Girl: "Well, I'm 6 feet 2" (I'm about 5 feet 8)
Me: "Nah, I was thinking about 7 feet tall"
Still haunts me.

catbro89 Report

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One of the bustiest, beautiful and smartest girls I've met in my life leans up against a nearby car and tells me "You should ask me out."
Socially-Inept-17-y/o-Rex: "Sure."
Never did. Only after she started acting angry at me did I realize she had a crush on me the whole time.

Aerexil Report

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A friend (now boyfriend of 7 years) asked what I wanted to do that night. I said "you". He didn't even seem to register what I had said. He was like we should go see x movie.

Murrymonster Report

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We were seeing a movie together and she said she was cold. I said "yeah it's pretty chilly" and did nothing. Later she said it again, pretty obvious what she wanted. I proceeded to give her my jacket to put around her.
I'm a practical man.

kroople Report

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I gave a girl a lift home from a date one night and she invited me in for "Coffee", I declined. My excuse being that it was late and I would not be able to sleep. That night I couldn't sleep, because I was up all night kicking myself once I'd realised what "Coffee" really meant!

Scoctapuss Report

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Had a crush on my male bf. To start, I used to flirt with him (he'd flirt too), turned up to support him at a charity sport event he took part in when none of his friends did, went to his place for movie marathons, play-fight, and had cinema trips every weekend. Nothing from him. Nothing! So I gave up and decided our friendship was more than enough. I dialed back the flirting and just relaxed.
It took him a year and a half to figure it out. We're now engaged. Apparently patience does pay off!

Report

Final score:

0points

Abbs0345

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When me and my fiance were in high school we were "best friends", which of course meant I was too big of a chicken to tell him how I really felt. Well, my move was to always take the seat in front of him and purposely have my thong showing while we had lectures. This went on for all the classes we had together, and we had a lot. I finally had to confess how I felt to him before he left our home town for college after three years of this game. It turns out he was a chicken too. He said those four years were the biggest tease imaginable, it's hilarious to talk about now.

teamrocket94 Report

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I attempted to low key ask him to prom. Had to be cool about it you know. Nice and smooth. My phrasing was something along the lines of, "Maybe you and I should go to prom together. It'd be more fun than going alone." His response was just "yeah maybe" before he walked away.
I took this as a rejection and immediately ceased all my other genius attempts at flirting such as hugging, touching his hair, letting him carry my bag to the bus (he just kind of did it? I never made him and it became a daily routine for us), smiling at him and other such things. I thought I was so subtle but almost everyone knew. I found out years later that he honestly had been clueless and the reason he had grown kind of distant with me is he thought I didn't like him back.

Mistbre Report

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Oh god, I've got this one.
My buddy was dating a girl and we all went out to a bar, she brought a friend too (her roommate). Naturally the friend and I are talking and hitting it off. Later we all go back to their place and my buddy and the girl he's dating go up to her room. The friend invites me to hers.
Now I'm going to stop right here for a moment. I was 21 and a lot less experienced than I am now (29). Now that we have that caveat in place, let's continue.
So we go up to her room and we're making out in her bed (clothes on), there's a little hand wandering but nothing major. She pulls away for a second and looks me in the eye and asks "Are you big?". I reply "You tell me". So she grabs my dick through my jeans and starts basically giving me a handy. We start making out again and then she pulls back and says "Well I won't really know until you're inside me". Now in my retarded f*cking brain this meant, ok she is undecided until at some point in the future if she decides she wants to sleep with me, but that time is definitely not now.
We continue making out, but no clothes come off. My buddy and I leave the next day. I never sleep with her. This sequence of events doesn't strike me as odd, until YEARS later for some reason I am just walking somewhere random and the nights events pop into my head.

quittersspit Report

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My prom date: "You could come see my room after we leave."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Oh never mind, forgot to clean it."
I still think about it once in a while and facepalm just as hard every time.

dood23 Report

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There was a girl i really liked when i was younger but never had the nerve to make a move. She slept over my house one time, in my bed. At one point she told me she was cold, so i went snd got her another blanket being the gentleman that i am. 12 years later via facebook she told me she was hinting that she wanted to have sex with me but i blew it. She is still super hot as well. Shame.

Jv444jv Report

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My fiance and I were chatting on FB Messenger near the start of our relationship and it went something like this:
Him: I haven't had sex in 2 years
Me: That's quite a streak, I'd hate to mess it up ;)
Him: Yeah it's been awhile
....
Wait, what
I then lured him into a hotel, f*cked his brains out, and now we're getting married.

IvytheSneaky Report

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Me: "Wow your muscles are super impressive!"
Him: "Yeah I work out at such and such gym you should check it out.
Me:"I mean I'm already checking you out, but sure I'll give it a try."
Him:" Okay see ya around"
Me: FACEPALM

lexxxgrace25 Report

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I sat on his lap and I put his arms around my waist, rested my head on his shoulder and held onto his hands. He still had no idea I liked him

missuseme Report

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A lifetime ago in high school the extremely cute exchange student from Spain sort of cornered me and started asking questions about an upcoming school dance. What is it like? Is it fun? Are you going with anyone?
Ynez, if you're out there, I'm sorry. I'm a dope.

NowWatchMeNayNay Report

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I was left home alone for a week during spring break when I was 17. I invited my friends over everyday and they came and went as they pleased. My best friend (female) and I went swimming and got into a conversation about sex with each other. Later that day everyone came to my house and we watched movies on netflix until about 2:30-3:00 ish in the morning. As they left I headed to bed and hear the door close. Next thing I know my best friend got in bed with me and asked can we cuddle so she can stay warm. We sleep and I wake up to our lips touching. I got out of bed and made breakfast. After she ate and left my house I got a text from her saying verbatim "why didn't you have sex with me I've been horny all week"

NSFGoodTime Report

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Mid-makeout session...
Me: "Do you want to f*ck?"
Him: "What?"
Me: "Do you want to f*ck?"
Him: [Pause.] "Yes."
We continued to make out. We had sex three months later. Maybe he thought it was more of a rhetorical question?

jrodriguez Report

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Walked a girl home because I had a huge thing for her and because that's what gentleman should do for ladies at night. Got to her door and she said I should see her room because she just decorated it and tells me all about it. I just nod and say it sounds really cool. She leans against the wall next to the door and just keeps talking to me, occasionally bringing up the room. Again I'm not taking the hint that I should move with her to the room. She starts playing with the hood strings on my hoodie, pulling them closer to her. I'm actually putting up resistance instead of just going in for the kiss. Finally she pulls really hard and I pull back and lose my footing and almost fall. We talk a little bit more, she brings up her room. I say something stupid like "Oh I'll have to see it next time I come over". She goes inside, I walk back across campus and realize what an idiot I am. I tell my friend about it and he literally smacks the shit out of me. She ended up having to kiss me a week later before I finally got the hint.

GiveEmHell1 Report

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Had a friend do something like this. Some hot girls outside a bar wanted him to take their picture with his phone as they were leaving so one of them said "lemme give you my number so you can text it to me." He smiled and said "oh I can just use your phone." Which he did and then realized a week later his mistake.

diametric Report

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Not a lady, but I had this girl visit me and sleep with me in the same bed on four different occasions...from half across the country.
I thought we were just friends.
Ten years later I was taking a shit and it dawned on me that she didn't travel across the country just to sleep ffs.
I feel bad for the girl now, because I was really into her too.

reddit Report

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In college, I had a lot of crazy, curly hair. This girl in one of my classes started chatting me up, and said, "You have good hair. Whenever I see guy with good hair like that, I like to imagine grabbing on to it when he's going down on me."
I was all, like, "Oh, that's interesting."

metal_falsetto Report

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I told my boyfriend to get naked and he responded "YOU get naked" so I said "Okay. I will if you're nice to me ;) ". He laughed and went to sleep. Guess he didn't want to be nice ._.

SpagetiJonsnSupaFuka Report

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I was a freshmen in highschool and I had one of those digital organizers and this super hot girl put her number in it and I asked her "Why would you put your number in there?" Her answer: "You know I'm single, right? You can use that number to call me." and I just responded with "ha ha, yeah, me too" and I never called her. Oyyyy vey.

DirtyPanda Report

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"We can go up to my dorm and work on this homework together if you want ..."
"Nah, we can just do it in the dorm lounge over there. "
"Oh... OK."
Still internally scream about this when it comes to mind.

somethingneu Report

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Hitting on my now boyfriend of three years. I was complimenting him on how handsome he was and how he had beautiful eyes. I wanted a closer view of them so he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible. He legitimately thought that's what I wanted. After our first date, I immediately started talking about potential future dates and how much fun I had with him. I stayed out so late that I missed my friends party. However, because I didn't hug him properly and asked to split the cost of the meal, he thought I wasn't actually interested.

HelloPanda22 Report

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I was at a party drinking with a guy I had a bit of a crush on. We were joking around and I told him to touch my boob, because he jokingly accused me of padding my bra (since they're quite large).
He DID touch them for a second, but then he just kept going on with the conversation. I figured he wasn't interested and I got over it.
I think he realized his mistake cause he always made it a point to like everything I post on facebook.

Slightly_Froggy Report

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Girl next door: "Could you walk me home? I get nervous in the dark"
Me: "I can see your house from here, the lights are on. Just text me when you get inside"
Coulda had a sweet make out sesh in the bushes... multiple times.

sirgnarlsbarking Report

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In class a girl asked if we could study together for a minor quiz at her place.
A friend overhears and asks if he can join us, I say yes immediately before she can say anything.
She sends us her address and a time. I show up and she answers the door in a bikini. Nobody else at her place. She says she was sunbathing and asks me into her room while she changes. I look away to be polite and then make small talk once she's done.
My friend shows up 30 minutes later, turns out she told him that the study group started 30 minutes after what she told me.
Sigh...

DeliciousBlueBerries Report

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Invited me to her house when her parents were out. Then asked if I wanted to see her room.
Stupid teenage me was more curious how the popcorn from the popcorn machine in the kitchen tasted.

Seyforabi Report

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Climbing up on top of my lap in a hot tub and taking off her top and kissing me.
Me: "Haha you're silly that's not how you swim"
In my defense I was really really drunk

kaliforniamike Report

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I was at the school gym when a very attractive girl that I knew from classes got off the stair climber and came and talked to me. She wanted to know what she could do to make her butt more rounded. She precedes to turn and arch her back so I can judge her butt. I knew very little on the subjective but I told her the stair climber and squats seemed like a good idea. She then asked what I thought of it, the whole time presenting her backside to me. I say "Oh, it looks fine" She just stares into my eyes with back still arched. I basically give her "Welp, see ya later"
It didn't dawn on me for a few weeks she was hitting on me. She was well out of my league. I was single. I hate myself.

I-come-from-Chino Report

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Dang it, story time from my perspective. Hindsight is 20/20.
At work with this girl, K. She comes over to my house a lot. Spends time watching TV, joking around, snacking. I think just having fun together as friends because
1) I have never been in a relationship before. (About 21 at the time)
2) I was raised in a super conservative Christian home.
Anyways, one day her best friend is hanging out with me and asking tons of questions about how I feel about K. "You two are spending a lot of time together, are you going to ask her out?" Of course i respond with how we are just friends, she shouldn't worry about it, blah blah, I am so bad at hints it's painful.
Fast forward a week or so. K is over at my house super late and decides she isn't going home, she will just sleep at my place. I insisted on sleeping on the couch. She was having none of it. I find a "compromise" and sleep in pajamas for the first time in 10+ years and sleep under the blanket but not the sheet, so we are not actually touching. She gets super cuddly, and I roll over and go to sleep.

FergusonX Report

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A girl once told me that out of all the guys she knows I would be the only one she would date and I responded saying sweet

reddit Report

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I was talking to a girl I hadn't seen since we were kids. It was around the time of schools having their proms/formals and stuff. I asked her if she was taking anyone, and she said "no, but I really want to go with someone" and smiled and looked at me. I literally said "oh, I hope you find someone" and brushed it off. Not exactly smooth.

nuthinbutsmooth Report

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I was at a Halloween Party dressed up as a piece of bacon when this girl walks up to me tells me she wants my bacon. I was pretty drunk at this point and trying to find my friends so we could leave. When I finally got home I realized how much of an idiot I was.

Caebeman Report

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During a College Bowl tournament, I once opened a storage closet out of curiosity and a girl followed me in, grinning. "Look at the size of this thing! I can't believe we're in this room every week and never noticed it!" She nodded enthusiastically and said "I know! This place is bigger than my bedroom!" She sat down, smiling. "Quieter, too." My response: "Yeah, these dividing walls are surprisingly thick." I then walked out of the closet and pounded on the wall. I poked my head in. "Could you hear that? Ha! Well, I'm getting a Diet Coke."

reddit Report

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Her: "No one has even asked me to homecoming!"
Me: "Yeah, me either. So what are you going to do?"
Her: "Well, I guess if no one is going to ask me... I'll probably just stay home."
Me: "That's probably what I'll end up doing too."
Her: "Yeah, so... it would be really nice to go though."
Me: "I agree, but oh well!"
Her: "o_O"
Me: "Mind if I call you that night?"
Her: "Ummm, sure.. "

BillBrasky_ Report

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In highschool I invited my first boyfriend over at 1am, while my parents were out of town, to watch Balto. We watched the whole damn thing, he gave me a hug, and biked home. To be fair it's a pretty bitchin' movie.

reddit Report

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"Hey, do you want a girlfriend?"
"Nah, I hate pretty much everyone here."
Holy f*ck I'm a dumbass.

PlasmicDynamite Report

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I was 19, in the Army, had just found out I was pregnant, and VERY alone. I cried on the shoulder of a good friend (not the father), and he finally said, "Let's go see a movie, and forget about it, for awhile." During the movie he whispered, "You know this is a date, right?" and I laughed, and told him to stop making fun of me. Three months, and many dr's appt's and baby gear shopping trips later, I was still oblivious...right up until he asked me to marry him. 33 years last January.

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Final score:

0points

Leah Woodard

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A girl I'd been chatting with for a while asked to come back to my hotel room to see my music collection on my laptop.
So I took her back and showed her my music collection for 30 minutes. That's not a euphemism, I literally did that until she took pity on how clueless I was and basically jumped me.

Kilen13 Report

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I remember one time I was at a party talking to one of my friends who I really like. She started talking about her job which involved dressing up like a princess and being a children's party entertainer. I can't exactly remember how the conversation went down but I said "That must be a fun job." and she smiled and said "Yeah but we could use a prince charming" or something along those lines. I being a socially inept blockhead just said something like "Well there are lots of people looking for jobs these days." and went off to get some chips. I still can't believe how dumb I am was.

Jono-Tron Report

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I was in a girls bedroom when she tells me that she is now on birth control so she can have sex anytime. I said" oh, thats nice" (facepalm)

sotek2345 Report

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One time, before my boyfriend and I were dating, we sat on a bench together and two things happened. First, I sat there then said I was cold and proceeded to rest me head on his shoulder and snuggle real close. No reaction. The second thing that happened was I ended up standing up and holding my hand out in a way to show I wanted to hold his hand. He ended up using it to help himself up. Clueless. I laughed it off and told him I meant we should hold hands. His look of realization was priceless.

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Final score:

0points

Alexandria Countryman

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My friend told me this. Once he was out with a group of friends to a movie, and then he commented how cold it was and this girl friend offered her hand and said, "you can hold my hand, it's warm."

He said, "oh no need, I should be fine soon."

Report

Final score:

0points

Maestoso Amore

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I had a crush on my co-worker. At the company party I was really drunk and I told him that I liked him. His answer: "Thanks." As a shy girl, I didn't really planned this and I felt shame all over me. I couldn't look him in the eyes for weeks.. Now this guy is fast asleep next to me and he is not my boyfriend anymore. He proposed to me last years and I said YES!

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Final score:

0points

Wendy Chng

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Not a lady, but a girl once asked me ”so where are you sleeping tonight?", and I was just like "at home, I live 5 minutes away so that pretty sweet". And it was pretty sweet until the day after when my friend told me that I’m retarded

andrewthemanwhore Report

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In high school, a girl asked me for a ride home from a football game one time, to which I agreed. She asked if I wanted to come in and see her room (I forget why this seemed like a normal thing), and that it wouldn't bother her parents because they weren't home.
So, I went in and had a tour of her house, then left. I was pretty pissed off when I figured it out a while later.

bechus Report

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Not sure if this counts.
I was talking with a new friend on a full bus about a short clip where this kid is playing with his toy and the toy says," I don't like it when you touch my buttons like that". This cute girl walks over to us interrupts our laughter and says," but I do" while intensely looking into my eyes. Most awkward 10 seconds ever.
In my defense, I was a high school freshman, who grew into his weight over the summer. I thought girls still thought I was fat and ugly.

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Final score:

0points

Uriel Lopez-Cabrera

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There's this cute boy at work (theme park, lots of people) who has literally NO CLUE. I flirted with him for about a year before he finally realized what was happening. We went on dates while he thought he didn't stand a chance. When I knew he was into me I couldn't kiss him because of horrible cold sores that lasted about a month. Finally he realized I liked him and came into the reception area (where I was working) to report lost property: his heart. Most romantic moment of my life!

Report

Final score:

0points

Phaedra Vandenbroucke

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I asked him if he wanted to go to my dorm for Netflix and chill. We watched Parks and Rec for two hours and then he went home without touching me once.

i_hate_sandals Report

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"Do you wanna hookup?"
When I showed up at his house he was actually surprised that I wanted to have sex with him. I literally said, "I just want to have sex with you, please stop talking."

reddit Report

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My bf: Do you wanna sex? Sure?
Me: I have your penis in my hand for 15 minutes, what do you think?
My bf: oh nice!
.............

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Final score:

0points

Juju

POST

I stripped completely naked, played sexy music and started rubbing his shoulders.
He didn't even turn around and just asked if I wanted to order pizza for dinner...

VeedleDee Report

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Guy here.
A girl at a party told me I looked just like the lead singer from Everything Everything. I'd never heard of that band but uhh... thanks... I guess I'll google it at some point. So a bit later, a pretty catchy song came on and she said something about how she would f*ck anyone who looks at all like the guy from this band. You can see where this is going, but it whooshed right over my head.

VesuvanDoppelganger Report

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An incredible blind-guy:
Met her in the bar
lot's of dancing together, drinks
her hand sitting on my thigh almost all the time as we sat
She asks me to walk her home, saying no-one is home and she feels unsafe.
I agree, infront of her home we stand there "the moment", she takes initiative and kisses me.
I literally jump up, because i was looking just past her face at this new Audi driving up the hill kinda half zoned out..

Gutterblade Report

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She drove 10 miles so I could give her a back massage, for which she was topless on my bed (facedown). I never acted on it, because I'm a f*cking idiot. "Welp, that's your massage" "uhh thanks does up bra dresses leaves" - 2 years later "oooooh. Whoops"

wordthompsonian Report

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This girl and I were alone in my apartment, and we'd just finished watching a movie. She'd had her head resting on my lap the entire time. Afterwards we were spooning on the couch, she cuddled up against me, kissed me on the cheek, and looked up at me expectantly. I stared at her for a few moments and then said, "so... what do you want to do?". After a while I ended up taking her home.

pigvwu Report

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A girl that was a really great friend needed a place to stay between the end of school and when her apartment would be ready. She stays with me. First night, in bed together and she has a big teddy bear in between us. Next morning I make a joke about the teddy bear being there. She comments "he doesn't need to be in the bed." Next night, I come home late. Find her asleep in bed without the bear. I fall asleep on the floor. She wakes me to come to bed. I fall back asleep on the floor. :(

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Mark Fergel

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At the end of a field-course where me and now husband met, we're all in a bar. I wait until most people are sat then "oh no, there's no seats, I'll have to sit on your knee". Proceed to laugh at jokes, flick hair etc. Later on I say I'm tired and would he walk me back to my room.
He responds "no I'm not tired yet"!

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Hazel M

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I was backpacking in finland, and stayed in a hostel. On my way walking there, I met a female backpacker at a bar. She asked where I'm heading and I told her. She proceed to ask me to share a room since if we pay together, we can get a nice private room. I said okay.

When we get to the room, I went straight for a bath. I didnt bother locking the door. She then enter and jumped on me. I was confused.

Did i took it wrong or did she took it wrong? My face was puzzled while she gave me a blowjob.

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Nia Adha

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Boyfriend and I were in his fraternity bedroom, talking. I was trying to indicate that I was interested in him, and we began talking about his first time with a girl. He told me that the girl told him she couldn't tell what color his eyes were behind his glasses -- so he took them off, and, well, things progressed from there.

There was a long moment of silence, and I looked at him and said, "So -- what color ARE your eyes?"

"They're blue."

CLUELESS!!!!

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Donna Hagen

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(I'm the oblivious guy, not the lady.)
Before our third(?) date, she said I could stay over at her place if it got late. So we're watching a movie on TV there, and at the end of it, I said "I guess I better let you head off to bed. I'll take the couch."
She literally had to say "I was hoping we could snuggle" before I got the hint.

MyNSFWside Report

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She would always bump into me by "accident" and her pupils grew immensely when I talked to her, only realised after my friends pointed this out.

Doctor_Derpless Report

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My best friend in high school was a guy I had a huge crush on. I constantly dropped hints, flirted and hung out with him. One day he invited me to his house after school his parents were still at work. He was showing me around his house when we got to his garage and he was showing me a car he was fixing up. He said, "Yeah, I like to bring girls home that I like and have sex in the back seat." I was like, "Oh, cool." And went back inside the house. Yeah, I'm a dumb ass.

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Squeester

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I had a major crush on a guy who I'd been friends with for a couple of years. He'd ask me out to various events, but he never indicated any interest in me. One night we were at a friend's birthday party and I told him I was flying to Toronto to see the Rolling Stones and that I was going to be staying in a hotel. I said "Hey, I have an extra ticket - why don't you come with me?" He replied "Well I don't really like the Rolling Stones." Amazingly, we are now living together.

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Laura Barrett

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Ok, so just spent the last hour trying to start off with my partner of 6 years, like my head was next to his balls whilst laying on the bed.
He places a hand on my head looks me straight in the eyes and say's, I wonder if they have a cheese market in Gouda. Then starts looking it up, I mean I love cheese and we are going there this year but really, really.

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catherine waite

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I was hanging out with a girl in first year university. We were cuddling and watching Harry Potter 2 if I remember correctly. She mentioned she was really "hot" and took off her pants. I just kept watching the movie. Took me a good 20 minutes until she went down on me to realize she was interested..

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Chance Harper

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I was collecting money for war veterans during military service and went to knocking door to door in a student dormitory. One door opened and two horny student chicks opened the door. I explained the matter and they replied they don't have money, but asked if they could give something else instead of money (flirting all the time). I laughed and said someone else tried already to give empty bottles, greeted for their time and closed the door.
I'm still trying to build a time-machine.

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Jubilee

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New year's eve party, a girl comes up to my best friend and tells him:
"Alex, i m going home, can we go back together?
Alex says: why ? you live north, i live south, it doesn't make sense.

we had to explain to him...

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Iskander Wsz

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Years ago I was working on a passenger ship, this cute waitress invited me into her cabin for a massage because I was grumbling over an aching back. Later that evening, I'm in her cabin, laying face down on her bed with nothing but my undies on. She gives me a bloody amazing massage, went at it for like 45 minutes. When she was done I got up and got dressed, she asked me if I wanted to stay for the night.
I was like "Nah I'm good, thanks though" and left.
Took me a week to figure it out. *Sigh*

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K

POST

I'm a woman and I was the dumb one.
Met this guy ata bar. We started talking because he was the dd for his friend and I'm not much of a drinker. I'm a wallflower, so it was nice to be noticed. I was enjoying talking to him and I thought he was cute.
Fast forward to the end of the night and he hands me his business card (his construction company) and says that if I need any kind of work done to give him a call.
It wasn't until I saw him a few weeks later, that he explained it to me. Smh.

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Amanda Fisher

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Him: (good looking, if a bit full of himself; surprisingly vacuous for his degree and position) Do you want to go into the bedroom?
Me: No, I'd rather stay in here with you.

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Stinkypie Ticklebum

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Me and a buddy were standing in line behind a beautifully tatted up blonde at the bank. When leaving the bank, (she walked out maybe 10 mins before us), she comes up to me and says her car won't start and asks if I had jumper cables and could come take a look at it. I say no, I don't have any jumper cables and drive off. She passed me on the road not 10 secs later.

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William Henderson

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Me: So, maybe I could buy you a drink tonight?
Him: Oh, I'm sorry, I don't drink!
Me: *internal scream* Oh... I guess I'll... see you around then...

(Luckilly, it did click after a while: it's our seventh anniversary this year.)

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MissKiwi

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When I was in grade nine I had detention with a popular boy I thought was super cute. I was very shy and never tried to talk to him but this day he talked to me. He said he would totally date me and I replied, laughing, Pff, no you wouldn't. I'm not your type. Years later we met and talked and he told me he was dead serious but didn't pursue it because of what I said. What a bone head.

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Tanya Lee

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Been trying to get him ask me out for a while. One day on text:
Him: hey do you like Indian food?
Me (absolutely don't like it, but if it will get him to ask me out I am all down to deal with the bathroom run consequences..): I actually don't know, only had it once before. Love to give t a try though! *winkwink
Him: oh let me know after you have tried it then

I just screamed on the street..

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Egad52

POST

Very cute guy friend in school: want to do some gardening at my house with me this weekend?
Me: (confused) um, sure?
That weekend...
Him: where do you want to start?
Me: I dunno tell me where, still confused.
Him: you can start by planting your tulips on mine.
Me:?????????????? Picks up flowers and starts looking for tulips.
Us: spends the day gardening, I go home. We stay friends.
20 years later
Me: HOLY SHIT! He wanted me to kiss him

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Lilli Elliott

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Once met a girl online when she posted "kinda want to make out with somebody right now", she went to my school so I replied "me too". Anyway we start talking and we become pretty good friends over this post, fast forward a few weeks when she says she wants to talk to me irl, so we hang out at the school for a bit and half an hour in she asks if I wanted to do anything.... It wasn't until that moment that I realized she wanted to make out with ME. Anyway we have now been dating for 7 months.

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Donadar

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In high school my male friend got a text from my female friend saying "Oh you're so sexy ;), let's be together". He thought it was a joke because he doesn't think that anyone could had liked him so he told her to stop fooling around.Throughout the year they would hang out at each other's house after school and they sat next to each other in class with her still dropping hints to him. A year later the girl gave up giving hints and just kissed him on the lips.
So they're dating now.

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Yan Qi Kwok

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Yeah, so met this guy we went to lunch together every day, spent hours texting everyday. He came over and met my kids. Had dinner several times at my house. So he asks me to go have dinner with him at Red Robin. I was so nervous. I called my BFF and say "Oh, my god I am goin on a date with this guy." She was like "You have been dating him for 6 weeks!"
Good thing he didn't mind I was a dunder head. We have been married almost five years and he is adopting the kids.

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Emily Miller

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I was laying down on a bench with my head in his lap talking about our previous /experiences/ (this was high school) and he told me he had never had a bj before. I told him, with my head in his crotch, that I could blow his mind. Nothing. Crickets.

EDIT: we were in a public park and I was a 16 year old with a rapidly approaching curfew. I didn't expect him to whip it out but I wanted him to have it in mind. I did end up delivering, but not before trying to be coy one last time and being completely straightforward the third time.

cageswithoutkeys Report

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This just in: my BF just woke up from a nap and I slid into bed, naked, all handsy and kissy, trying to seduce him. His response? "*yawn* I have to go cook". I told him, point blank, that I came into the room for some action and was denied. "I don't get it", he says, and walks out.

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Beyond_bored

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Once I was staying at his place. After a nice warm shower, came out in just a towel wrapped around me thought it might seduce him. What he did. He looked away and gave me some "privacy" while I changed into my clothes. After few weeks he told me he was shy and blushed a lil seeing me in a towel for the first time.
We're still happily together since last 7 years

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Smriti Priyadarshi

POST

It didn't happen to me but a buddy of mines. he was at an anime convention in which he was talking to a cute girl dress as Yang(from the series RWBY). in which they were really hitting it off. Eventually, she asked if he wanted to go to a party in his room. In which she completely blew her off in favor of going to a panel. Since then he has been kicking himself in the rear when he realize what kind of party it was not helped by the fact that he is the"Most awkward male" in the group now

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Dominique Mitchell

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(cont.) and the guy who lives there. The party was still on for the three of them, they continued dancing, drinking and talking. The day after, he told me that the girl, who isn't really close with the guy living there, had said "Ugh, the last train home goes in two hours. I wish I had some company, maybe stay at someone's place overnight so I don't have to ride the train so late at night. I have nothing special to do tomorrow anyway." So my friend offers to walk her to the train. *facepalm*

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Frida Bäcklund

POST

Guy here.
Me and this girl was on the school bus back home once and the girl just out of nowhere said "Hey ******, I love you" and I go "Oh okay..." and proceeded to put my earphones on...
Shows how big of an idiot I am :(

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Miguel Angelo

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Husband and I folding laundry....I picked up my basket and said "Hey...ready to come upstairs and help me" and literally winked at him... he looks me right in my eyes, deadpan, and says, "But I have to match my socks"🤦‍♀️ We're still married, and have two kids, and leave a lot of clothes unfolded now😉

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and42509

POST

I went to study abroad in canada when i was 18 and i met this amazingly beatiful girl. so a group of friends her and me were at her house playing truth or dare. me: truth
her: who was your first kiss
me: I've never kissed someone, guess i'd like to wait for the right one
her: Wow you know i've alway wanted to be someones first kiss
Then she asked me to help her with something on her room and she said "you know i'm also waiting for the right one to have some fun on bed" me: That's great.

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Josue Bm

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I slept with my best friend for four years in the same bed every time getting more sexy with my night clothes until one night I got buck naked hoping he'd get the hint.. turns out he's gay and sleeping with my brother and was scared to tell me but I was trying to figure out how he wasn't getting the hints I wanted to take our relationship to the next level.. situation is reversed wasn't the guy that couldn't get the hint this time!

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Ashley Coulter

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In high school, I had just started dating one of my friends. He was really tall, and had admitted to having a crush on me for over a year. I was talking to him, and casually mentioned our height difference by saying "I'll have to stand on a chair to reach your lips." His response "Why would you need to stand on a chair? Your arms aren't that short. And why would you need to reach my lips, anyway?"

Facepalm.

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Marissa Titus

POST

Not a girl, but I was interested in a gay guy from my school about year eleven. I brought myself to actually talk to him
Me: "Do you want to go get coffee and study in the library?"
Him: "What? I dont have anything to study for."
3 weeks later he got the hint that I liked him (after alot more flirting with him) and came into my classroom to give me coffee. We went out that night

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Jackson Gallino

POST

So I had my friend over a few years ago and we were cuddled up on my couch and she was like "can you play with my hair?" So i start doing it and after a few minutes she looks over and goes " you know that really turns me on" me knowing her as usually being pretty pg-13 goes "oh sorry" and stops. She decided to tell me she was into me after I was dating another girl six months later.

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Tim Byram

POST

I went to order a beer and they told me it was past time. A guy sitting at the bar yells out that he has beer at his house, to which i responded, so do I......As I am walking away he and his friends burst into laughter and tell me that was cold blooded. I was single for ever, and always wondered how come no one was ever interested me.....My cousin told me that i shoot down ever guy she has ever seen try speaking to me. I had to make a conscious effort to get my boyfriend that I have now.

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Heather Hansen

POST

Him : hi , I just arrived in your town , and my parents house is empty and I'm alone
Me : oh hello , so what u gonna do alone in your parents house, should I come over?
Him: nothing so special you know , playing video'games , and you ?
Me: hmm , idk ...
Him : aham , ok . have fun .

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xenathewarriorprincess

POST

So my boyfriends parents and brother are always missing from home. One day I told him that my period was over and asked him if we'll do something fun that evening and he says "hm ok we'll see". After I took a bath shaved etc. I text him whats he doing and he replies "nothing just visited my uncle".
WTF!!

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HardlyIntimidatedSenpai

POST

One time in this barnes and noble, I was reading.
Girl comes up to me and says, "can I have your number".
"no". I say.
Talking on a phone was horrifying for me.
Too scared to say, "my email works though".

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Sedd maggsnow Nochoriana.

POST

One time I was in Mexico visiting my dad for 2 months and this girl approached me while playing soccer she talked to my cousin more but he was way younger and one day we're at her house and he goes to the bathroom and she tells me to follow her, she leads me to her room she's standing by her bed looking at it I'm standing by the doorway thinking why am I here I should go home soon then after 5 seconds she walks back out of her room I follow her and we go back to chilling in her living room

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Ozzy Sainz

POST

Me: You talk a lot and smile a lot when you're around me
Girl: Yeah, what ya gonna do? You gonna stop me ;)
Me: Yeah I could stop you talking
Girl: How you gonna do that? ;)
Me: *puts hand over her mouth, laughs and walks away*
She was crazy about me and I was crazy about her and we had loads of situations like this happen but neither ever had the confidence to tell the other truth. This story doesn't have a happy ending like the rest..we aren't together, we dont even talk anymore...

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Cillin Finnegan

POST

In highschool, I became friends with one of my female classmates. I had a crush on her and hoped to hook-up at some point. She asked if I wanted to spend the night. Her mother was out of town. Stupidly, I slept in the other room because she said she didn't want me to sleep in her bed because "We might have sex if I do." She wasn't a virgin and I was and she kept bringing that up - like she didn't want to be my first. Like a moron, I fell asleep in that other bedroom that night.

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rehabisforquitters

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Stella

Stella

Community Member • points

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1 year ago

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Hello there, can we be friends?

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texts with my bf the day after him trying to get into my pants on a date:

me: I almost didn't stop you yesterday
bf: I wasn't going to go all the way
me: how far were you going to go?
bf: fingering
me: now I'm horny
bf: I wish there was something I could do about it

me later: well, thanks for nothing. I kinda had been hoping that you would try and help out, but i guess I'll have to be less subtle in the future
bf: that flew right over my head

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Megan Poliner

POST

I told my guy I was too old for him even though he was perfect for me in every way. He believed me. A year of hinting friendship that included hundreds of dates, shared birthdays, Christmas and new year spent just with me, he still didn't get that I had made him mine a long time ago. So new years day, I climbed on him and kissed him first. Seven years later, he's lying fast asleep next to me as I write this post and grow his baby.

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Krysta Pandoo

POST

My guy friend must be the most oblivious person on Earth. We went to a party at a mutual friend's house, and there was this girl that he has a thing for, and I can tell she's really into him as well (but he's too damn oblivious to notice). She lives about 40 miles away, so she has to come here by train. Anyway, they look for each other immediately and spend the whole night talking. As it got later and later, people start to drop off. I left at about 1 AM and there were only my friend, the girl,

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Frida Bäcklund

POST

This post is literally my boyfriends life. I am a full time student and work a full time job, so I pretty much live in jeans, t-shirts and little to no makeup everyday of my life. When I want to have sex I normally style my hair nicely, put on a full face of makeup, will suggest going out to dinner and I put actual real clothes on. I will go to bed naked like he likes. I'll even brush over his packaged a few times! He will kiss me goodnight and pass out unless I mention sex at dinner.

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Bounty Bunny

POST

My now husband never Missed a beat when he told me how he felt, I however was dumb as dirt. He came to my apartment one night, at 1a.m. while my kids were with their dad. He knew I was fresh out of the tub and we were talking on the phone, he asked for my address and obliviously gave it to him and never heard him call a taxi from his house phone. He showed up and I didnt think much of it. We were roommates a year and a half prior. I had no clue he was there to seduce me. We are now 8 years strong

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Joanne LaCrosse

POST

Being completely oblivious in my youth I got a note passed to me by the cutest bustiest girl in class asking if I wanted to "mack"with her. Not knowing that mack meant make out, I looked at her and said "what the fuck? No?" She loathed with a passion for the rest of the year for unknowingly shutting her down. It didn't help she was my cousin's best friend as it turns out so she was always over at her house and mine....

Ps it's ok though she ended trapping her bf by putting holes in the rubber

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Ivan Anguiano

POST

I used to work as a head cook and one day our barista came and joined me for a smoke outside. This chick was smoking hot the kind of women that had all the rights bits and sizes. Anyway she doesn't smoke, then she gave me a lift home and told me about her love life and how she really just wants a no strings attached friend. Long story short she dropped me home and I said bye and that story still stings to this day

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Caleb Martin

POST

guy i had liked for years with mutual subtle flirting... we're at a friend's birthday do... chatting about random unimportant stuff...

me: you know, it's such a strange coincidence that we've never been single at the same time, either you're taken and i'm not or vice versa
him: yes it is a coincidence
me (hopeful): well since you broke up with her last month, i want to tell you i'm now single too...
him: wow, now that IS a coincidence! *continues chatting about random stuff*
me: 0.o

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deebirdee

POST

In the college auditorium with an extremely pretty junior who was a volunteer along with me in the security team. We've known each other for a few weeks and get along well. So she's leaning into me completely as the auditorium is dark while performances are on & starts telling me, quote "we have we kissed yet" & I asked her why would we! She answered saying cause you're my bf. We still didn't kiss or date. I regret that everyday.

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Muba Bakali

POST

Back in college a friend of mine drove to my apartment to surprise me for my birthday. He and I had known each other forever and we'd been flirting heavily on and off for years. That weekend he spent the night at my place and I figured it was time to make a real move, so I told him he didn't need to spend the night on my couch, I had a queen sized bed and more than enough room (I had no pants on as I said this). His response? "No it's okay. I snore and you have exams tomorrow." His loss.

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ClockworkClary

POST

i was at a friends party, i met this lady and we didnt talk much, later she said to join her in her bed becouse it would be less laudery(i thought nothing of it) later she told me she wasent tierd at all and was kind of bored, if it was just something we could do(i thought nothing of it and tried to turn on a tv) she then took her top off and begane closing in on me(i thought nothing of it and i sad sorry and gave her more rom in the bed) i didnt realize until se took my hands around her.....

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chroff svendsberget

POST

I was in a student production of Les Mis, and all the girls were told to create families with the guys to have connections at the barricade. So I liked this one guy, and I figured now or never, so I went over and asked jokingly if he'd marry me, since he's the cutest guy in the room. Took him a month to catch on.

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Julia Gorordo

POST

When i was 19 yo a dutch actress Rifka L (25) an I went to the movies together. After the film I brought her home. I stopped at her front door.. en she Kissed me on the cheek.. then she looked at me and asked if I would like some coffee....
I said no.. I can't see any parking space... it's better I go home or I get a ticket...

How stupid have I bin...
Didn't get it till years later...

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Paul Scheermeijer

POST

Went out one night with the guy I liked and a couple of his friends. I kept flirting with him the entire night. He didn't notice a thing two months later he realised that I flirted with him and asked me out. We're together for 2 yeats now. Till this day I can't give him any signals

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Chrizaan van der Merwe

POST

I had started talking to this guy a few weeks back and we really hit it off. Because of this, I started to develop feelings. Fast forward a week, I was feeling a bit desperate, wanting this guy to know I liked him. So I asked him relationship advice (so I could use it on him). I always called him dork and explained what it meant during the convo (basically 'I like you') and he said 'yeah but I know you're just joking.' I wanted die from the irony. But anyway we've been together for a day now.

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Lorien

POST

I literally told my SO that I came in my sleep while dreaming of him, but no, nothing. Sigh...

myleftsockisadragon Report

POST

I used to have a much younger colleague and he was a timid and quite guy while I was a chatty woman. Somehow we get close and we found that we shared similar interest in art and music. One day he said that he would like to go to an art exhibition by himself and that exhibition happened to be the one that I would like to attend and he knew it. My reaction was: Ah cool.
I know think that was his way asking me out.

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Kyanita

POST