June 6 is the anniversary of my spinal fusion surgery and consequently enough, I just learned it’s also Scoliosis awareness month.

I was diagnosed when I was 13. I wanted to hide away in my little turtle shell of a back brace and be invisible. It can be so scary, especially at that age to be open about anything that makes you different.

Dear 13 Year Old Self,
Are other kids spines shaped like their initials? No. Own it! (S for Stephanie)

So what if kids make fun of you while you put your back brace on in the locker room after gym class. Locker rooms are weird for every middle schooler.

Embrace the brace. Tell people to punch you in the stomach and that you have abs of steel. Don’t worry, guys are super into the damsel in distress thing.

The friends you laugh and cry with about body insecurity are the friends you’ll laugh with and cry with forever. Keep them. Don’t fret about being short. You’ll grow 2 inches after puberty when you get back surgery in your 20s.

Don’t do drugs to fit in. You’ll have more than enough stories to tell about hallucinating on your pain meds post surgery. People spend a lot of money on spanx and corsets to suck it in. So, I mean, most of yours was covered by insurance. Think of your back brace as a history lesson of 16th century women and fashion.

All joking aside, don’t limit yourself. Most importantly, turn your wounds into wisdom.

More info: stephaniejarstad.com

This is the back brace I wore in middle school

60 degree curve before surgery, 15 degree after surgery

Junior high is an emotionally difficult stage for any teenager. Tack on glasses, braces, frizzy hair and a deformed back. My shirt seams were forever twisted to mirror my misshapen spine and ribs. I gloried in sports practice, the only hour other than to bathe I was freed from my back brace. When I first started wearing my brace it was hard to eat and breathe due to the special padding to prevent my aggressive curve from worsening.

This experience shaped me in a profound way and helped me come out of my shell. Literally and figuratively.

Dear 13 year old self, please be grateful you’re alive in the 21st century when medical science is so advanced. I didn’t have to wheel around a covered wagon of a back brace complete with a chin strap.

If I had this surgery in the 60s I would have recovered after surgery in a full body cast, flat on my back for A YEAR!

I did my last back handsprings the day before I went into surgery. I still coach gymnastics.

13 hour surgery. 2 titanium rods. 20 screws. 1 incredible surgeon.

20 screws used in my spinal fusion. You could say I’m part robot.

Due to some nerve damage my entire right side went numb after my surgery. I regained all feeling, except in my forearm and scars.

Modern medicine is a miracle and our bodies are so resilient. I just got back from a backpacking trip across seven countries where I carried everything on this little titanium back. I can run, hike, bike, dive, rock climb, boulder, white water raft, back flip. It doesn’t slow me down.

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That feeling right after surgery being so terrified of sneezing and thinking my back will burst and my screws will shoot out in a million directions.

One year post-op I ran a half marathon with my older sister

Recovery recap video

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