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If you think holidays are weird these days, then you clearly haven't seen these 19th-century Victorian Era Christmas cards that were just as creepy as those times themselves. Bored Panda has gone through an expansive TuckDB Ephemera's vintage Holiday greetings postcard collection to gather some of the most bizarre postcards ever made. From frogs stabbing each other to Krampus (a half-goat, half-daemon) entertaining the ladies in the best Victorian Era fashion manner... Yeah, there isn't a more random way to say 'Merry Christmas' to someone these days, but when you think of it, these seasons greetings actually work as a time machine and reveal the relevant topics of those days.
After looking at these Christmas cards, you might be interested to know why exactly was the Victorian Era so creepy, and while there aren't any precise answers to that, we have managed to find some pretty good clues as to why. For starters, the life expectancy in the Victorian Era England was incredibly low as the middle class got around 45 years to live, workers only half of that and children were lucky to survive their 5th birthdays. Because of that, everyday funeral processions were nothing out of the ordinary, and you couldn't scare any Victorian with dying or all the creepiness that comes with it. On top of the high mortality, Victorian Era people were very sexually repressed and confused. So much so, that women were not allowed to ride horses the same way as men, so as not to arouse any feminine passions. On the other hand, male Victorians were so horny, that curved table legs were seen as sexual and were often covered with special cloths. So there you go, a mix of death fascination and sexual frustration is probably what made the Victorian Era as creepy as it was.
Which one of these terrifying greeting cards would like to find in your mailbox to raise your Christmas spirit? Vote below! (h/t)
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Greetings From Krampus
iblowsheep 9 years ago
Sad thing is my 5 year old son would scream his damn head off if we asked him to sit on Santa's lap but would run with his arms extended toward Krampus.
Tiny Dynamine 9 years ago
Looking at your name, that doesn't sound that surprising.
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SweeptheLeg 9 years ago
Hey kids, if you're not a good boy or girl, Satan will come steal you this Christmas.
Polleekin 9 years ago
I'm not sure krampus was that far from Satan. "Be good or a horned guy will take you away!" Is pretty terrifying either way.
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Liz Miller 9 years ago
Krampus is not Christmas, it's a holiday/tradition that coincidently happens to be in the same month as Christmas
RELATED:
#2
May All Jollity ‘lighten’ Your Christmas Hours
Anna Joanna 9 years ago
Cool card. Maybe not at Christmas, but "for the winter". It reminds me of some kind of militia birds ... The Cat Day? On the European Day of Birds?
#3
A Merry Christmas To You
Veronique Anketier 9 years ago
Looks like the kind of Christmas card some politicians would give to their people (and this is universal!)
#4
May Yours Be A Joyful Christmas
James Floyd 9 years ago
During the medieval ages, wrens could only be hunted/killed on St Stephens Day, the day after Christmas. This was an ancient Druid custom.
Marie-claude Favier 9 years ago
Thank you. I learned something. Merry Dead Bird Day to you..
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Marlina De Aragon 9 years ago
May the season bring you so much joy you too can just lay down and die
Suzanne Clark 9 years ago
Wow! That's like a card from "The Godfather"...do they also have one with the horse's head?
#5
Wishing You A Merry Christmas
SweeptheLeg 9 years ago
Back in the days when people and animals alike dressed and behaved much more formally than today.
Puddin Tane 9 years ago
WAIT! You mean, they behaved...dare I say...civilly?! she aked in absolute shock!
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Hiruya 9 years ago
Actually no. That Christmas is related to Winter and snow is a fairly new thing
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Veronique Anketier 9 years ago
Taking into consideration how weird some of the themes of these cards are, I'm surprise one of the cats at the back doesn't say: 'Mary, isnt that YOUR husband?'
jacluckycat 9 years ago
I have always liked victorian-era cat illustrations. This one makes me smile
#6
May Christmas Be Merry
Janice Foster 9 years ago
I don't mind this - at least they look friendly. No sense of impending doom like some of the other cards...
Ami Joon 9 years ago
This is pretty dreamy in a nightmarish sort of way... is that a tamboreen horsefly is playing? So sublime... in a nightmarish sort of way.
jacluckycat 9 years ago
I thought it was a beach ball but upon further inspection it is indeed a tambourine which makes me like it even more.
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#7
A Merry Christmas
Janice Foster 9 years ago
I'm trying to convince myself that this is a wet Sheepsog, not the devil's spawn seeking souls for Christmas dinner!
#8
A Happy Christmas
#9
A Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year
Hannah Hollowell 9 years ago
That cat in the backgrounds like 'it worked, it really worked';p
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#10
Wishing You A Happy Christmas
Yvonne Bernal 9 years ago
Because nothing says Christmas more than a voodoo doll and cannibals
Jamie Acree 9 years ago
actually, he's a golliwog. I read where they were the thing back then...
Load More Replies... Veronique Anketier 9 years ago
Wishing you a happy Christmas, 'mother f*****'. I'm sorry for the dirty word, but, what does it have to do with 'happiness' or even Christmas? :-P
Catherine Poupart 9 years ago
That's not a voodoo doll. This must be British and that is a Golliwog - Google it...
Irene McIver 9 years ago
It looks to me like the Christmas message may be handwritten on a printed card which probably wasn't originally meant specifically for Christmas, but the card's design is still somewhat horrifying.
#11
Here's A Crow For Christmas
Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
I guess it wouldn't be any more appropriate to say, “Here's a c**k for Christmas” would it?
#12
Wishing You A Jolly Christmas
#13
A Happy Christmas
#14
A Hearty Christmas Greeting: Four Jovial Froggies A Skating Would Go; They Asked Their Mamma, But She’d Sternly Said, ‘no!’ And They All Came To Grief In A Beautiful Row. There’s A Sweet Christmas Moral For One Not Too Slow. Just So!
#15
A Merry Christmas To You
#16
A Merry Christmas
Theresa Wilson 8 years ago
Maybe the artist's mum was a bad cook and he feared Christmas Dinner.
#17
A Happy Christmas To You
#18
So Please Excuse This Impecunious Card, As All I’m Good For Is A Used Up
Chairman Miaow 11 months ago
Or just walked into the local chemist and asked for a spot of laudanum
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Azza Bamboo 6 years ago
The weather's cold, the times so devilish hard My income friend is suffering from the cramp, So please excuse this impecunious card, As all I'm good for is a used up stamp.
Gina Lorenz 9 years ago
Is it a rebus puzzle? The weather's cold, the times so impish hard, my income friend is suffering from the cramp...so please excuse this impecunious card, as all I'm good for is a used up--branch? That picture looks like holly, but the word should rhyme with cramp.
Linds 9 years ago
Suffering from the cramp, huh? Well, this clearly is a Christmas period card!
William Barnes 5 years ago
What you are saying is the missing word should be a tamp, huh?!? LOL
Load More Replies... #19
Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You
![Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You](https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/creepy-victorian-vintage-christmas-cards-9-584aab5f6d9f2__700.jpg "Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You")
Marianna Filippi 9 years ago
So... this card is meant to celebrate a British family of 5 (hence the Union Jack) who lived in a fishing village on the shore and who got turned into leg-bearing oysters by mysterious Oyster-Wizard Pirates (hence the ship in the distance)... and while the wife is happy with her new oystery self, her husband has become quite befuddled, and her two youngest children have died... and her oldest son has gone frolicking off into the sunset, overjoyed that he can finally fulfill his dream of running around naked forever. I do hope these lovely people will be de-oysterafied this Christmas, may we soon see them again! >.<
Hayley Lightcap 9 years ago
I think they're supposed to be the oysters from Alice in Wonderland
Hayley Lightcap 9 years ago
Oysters, come and walk with us The day is warm and bright A pleasant walk A pleasant talk Would be a sheer delight.
Load More Replies... #20
A Happy Christmas
#21
A Happy Christmas To You
#22
May You Spend A Happy Chritmas
Daria B 9 years ago
Jellyfish in the sky. Reminds me of those modern day pictures depicting a young person, or a city with flying fish in the air.
Yvonne Bernal 9 years ago
I thought of that too. I actually thought this was a pretty cool looking kite!
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#23
A Merry Xmas
Luke Fedder 5 years ago
"I dare say good fellow I do believe I've out done myself. The resemblance is striking! What say you old chap?" "sqUACK!"
#24
Wishing You A Purr-Fectly Happy Christmas
#25
With Love And Good Wishes For A Happy Christmas
#26
Wishing You A Merry Christmas
Ava Masumi 9 years ago
This one is actually nice. Just like some of Aesop fables' illustrations.
#27
The Best Wishes Of The Season To You
Yvonne Bernal 9 years ago
I thought it was the 6th day of Christmas and the '6 geese a laying' were going to be laying on the dinner table.
Jamie Acree 9 years ago
These kids are gonna be traumatized, if they weren't already desensitized to it.
Roberta Morrison 9 years ago
Come February, that how I'll be feeling about our Canadian geese, and their mess on all the sidewalks.
#28
Every Good Wish For Your Christmas
Cees Timmerman 9 years ago
According to https://19thct.com/2016/02/03/symbolism-in-the-victorian-era-sponsored-post/ Victorian frogs symbolized sin.
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Hans 9 years ago
Have you ever received as good wishes as those backed up by four frogs in boots?
Dr. Gonzo 8 years ago
They have those bad a*s looks on their faces. And walking in a line, too. I can actually picture those scenes in action movies where the heroes all walk in slo mo to a music track on their way to the big, final battle scene......
Dr. Gonzo 8 years ago
Ala the ending of Deadpool. "X gonna give it to ya..."
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#29
A Victorian Snowman
Marianna Filippi 9 years ago
Plot Twist: the dog is actually Krampus in disguise (hence why the dog is grinning creepily up at the little boy), and he is the one who made the evil snowman as an omen that he is coming to get little Billy... and the other little children too!
Wendy Merron 9 years ago
Oh dear. Even the snowman looks creepy. And who let those kids out without jackets?
Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
What I want to know is who's the crazy lady that's outside building a snowman without a winter coat on? She doesn't look like she's cold, either... And would you just look at the back of her dress that's all bunched up on her bum! There's a whole different story being played out here...
#30
A Right Merry Christmas To You
Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
A thieving clown with a Mohawk is about to be clocked by the dude with a stick in the background... I think these cards are suspicious as hell...
Jamie Acree 9 years ago
after all the clown stuff this halloween, that's all anyone needs for christmas
#31
A Jolly Christmas. May Christmas Pass As Merrily With Us As With This Enterprising Little Puss Who Quite Enjoys The Flirting And The Fuss
#32
A Jolly Christmas
Marianna Filippi 9 years ago
Plot twist: the "beloved" family cat, namely 'Mr. Bartholemeow Giggly-Bumpkins', ate the original pudding as the oblivious humans enjoyed their hearty Christmas dinner, and in its place he put a pile of his pudding-excrement-filled cat litter, in order to finally take revenge on the humans for giving him such an atrocious name!
#33
Wishing You A Happy Christmas
Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
Yay, it's Christmas! I think I'll go put on me spooky outfit and wizard hat...
#34
May Xmas Be As Bright As Purest Gold
Janice Foster 9 years ago
If you've seen the recent viral vid, you'll know we Aussies don't employ roos in the goldfields anymore - we punch them to save the dogs they are holding hostage!
Load More Replies... Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago (edited)
Christmas: When all the kangaroos come out to prospect for gold!
Gordon Johnson 8 years ago
Til i come and rip your chest open with those long claws on my jumping feet lol. Bastard animals.
#35
Hurrah! For The Jolly Christmas Tree
Marianna Filippi 9 years ago
We all know that the Pedo-Santa has already eaten the souls of those children, and has kept their empty bodies and sewn painted masks over their original faces in order to keep them all as his slaves... namely 'elves' ...
#36
A Christmas Greeting
Jamie Acree 9 years ago
christmas under the juniper tree (look up "The Juniper Tree" fairy tale to get this)
#37
The Night Is Dark And My Messenger Moth Has The Weight Of My Love To Bear, To Fly To The Light Of Thy Laughing Eyes, And Lay Down His Burden There. The Sun Shall Arise To Gild The Snow, That Hushes Each Human Tread, My Love Shall Wait Thy Door, Sweetheart, Where My Messenger Moth Lies Dead
AnnieLaurie Burke 9 years ago
Well, they were also fond of dead birds and dead frogs.
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#38
With Many Merry Christmas Greeting
#39
Before I Go Out Of The Picture Pass... I'd Like You To Meet This Cute Little Lass!
Cees Timmerman 8 years ago
The first mouse does resemble 1928's Mickey Mouse, and the girl 1944's Coppertone ad.
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Cees Timmerman 8 years ago
He's Father Time. And perhaps a jolly version of "Chronos and his child", a 17th century painting.
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Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
Pedo’s, sharp Scythes, and pee puddles. Of course! Nothing says Happy New Year better than that...
#40
A Merry Christmas To You
Joannakathryn 9 years ago
All these years....we only left him cookies and milk when what he really wanted was wine.
#41
Best Wishes For Christmas
#42
Merry Christmas Day! Happy, Bright And Gay! Fortune Guard You Aye, Like A Brave Dog Tray
#43
Hold To The Light And Then You'll Find The Stocking Filled With Toys Of Every Kind
#44
A Happy Christmas To You
#45
The Merry Dance When Dinner Is Done
Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
There is absolutely no need for the one wearing the red cloak to have two horns on the hood... Lots of, dare I say it, occult symbols mixed into these Xmas Cards. No surprise there, however. Just unscramble the word Santa and what do you get? S.a.t.a.n. Isn't THAT interesting?
#46
Who's Afraid?
Janice Foster 9 years ago
I don't know why this made me laugh so much, but it did!
Load More Replies... Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago (edited)
Exactamundo! There's something else being celebrated during the Yule Tide season than Xmas...
Load More Replies... #47
I Have Come To Greet You. Inside: Loving Christmas Greetings, May Smiling Faces Ring Around Your Glowing Hearth This Christmas Day, May Fun And Merriment Abound, And All Your World Be Glad And Gay
AnnieLaurie Burke 9 years ago
Who knew that goats and frogs meant Christmas to the Victorians. No sleepy mice, cute kittens, playful puppies.
Cait Stringer 9 years ago
As a Capricorn, I embrace the Christmas Goat of Saturnalia. As a normal human.... AAAAAAAAARGH
Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
Embrace what you want, but it ain't normal and for sure it ain't HUMAN...
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A Joyful Christmas To You
#49
A Happy Christmas
#50
Good Luck！good Luck! I Say Be Yours This New Year's Day!
#51
All Christmas Joy Be Yours
Keke OrzitPanda 1 year ago
What's those lyrics in Jethro Tull's old song, “Eyeing little girls with bad intent?” Yeah, that's what this scene reminds me of...
#52
A Jolly Christmas
#53
Bright Be Thy Christmas
Teri Stearns 5 years ago
I didn’t get anything great for Christmas this year. Just some Chinese junk.
#55
Christmas Orders
Tom Rennick 2 years ago
Nazi jackboots? So it was all forecast before we were even born... ADOLF-HITL...e8e9f4.jpg 
#56
May Every Happiness Be Thine, This Happy Christmas Day
#57
While Christmas Is Here Be All Of Good Cheer
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What do you think ?
Hans 9 years ago
I wonder what people will think if in hundred years someone posts an archieved version of Bored Panda to the Universenet and people watch it on their brain-interfaces...
Janice Foster 9 years ago
But...but...it wasn't THAT long ago - why are they so creepy and unrelatable?!
Lee Wilbur 8 years ago
This is what happens when doctors go all w***y-nilly with the coke and heroin prescriptions for babies.
Kathleen de Marcellus 9 years ago
Haven't we written songs about a certain man in a red suit who knows when we are sleeping and who knows when we are awake???
Lobo 8 years ago
I liked some of the odd ones. The beet man, the umbrella frogs, the oyster people, the frog and insects dancing, the pudding (?) man.... but not the morbid, twisted, freaky ones. Yikes.
Susanna Vesna 9 years ago
Im sure our modern s**t will be looked at the same way, as we are looking at these 100-year-old art-fails.
Wayne Scott 8 years ago
It will not be looked at in the same way. Our modern stuff is beautiful. You too must be an anti- Christian.
Load More Replies... Hans 9 years ago
I wonder what people will think if in hundred years someone posts an archieved version of Bored Panda to the Universenet and people watch it on their brain-interfaces...
Janice Foster 9 years ago
But...but...it wasn't THAT long ago - why are they so creepy and unrelatable?!
Lee Wilbur 8 years ago
This is what happens when doctors go all w***y-nilly with the coke and heroin prescriptions for babies.
Kathleen de Marcellus 9 years ago
Haven't we written songs about a certain man in a red suit who knows when we are sleeping and who knows when we are awake???
Lobo 8 years ago
I liked some of the odd ones. The beet man, the umbrella frogs, the oyster people, the frog and insects dancing, the pudding (?) man.... but not the morbid, twisted, freaky ones. Yikes.
Susanna Vesna 9 years ago
Im sure our modern s**t will be looked at the same way, as we are looking at these 100-year-old art-fails.
Wayne Scott 8 years ago
It will not be looked at in the same way. Our modern stuff is beautiful. You too must be an anti- Christian.
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