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Mixing parents and Twitter is a dangerously hilarious combination that we have already established previously. We showed you the most hilarious mom tweets, dad tweets, we even showed you the best celebrity parent tweets. This time, we've got something just as good in store for you.
We here at Bored Panda went through the parenting tweets of 2017, picked out the best ones so far, and put them all together in this list! Serving at your pleasure, all of the tweets in this list are so hilarious they're bound to make you laugh, even if you're not a parent! Keep on scrolling to check them out and don't forget to vote for your favorites.
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#7
Arnoud Lievers 7 years ago
Maybe he just wants a brighter future for all. Lick those windows clean young man! Let the son shine trough! You are changing the world!!!
#12
Oliver Nahlik 7 years ago
Board games? newfangled nonsense! we played with rocks and dirt! back when the world was all black and white, before i invented colours!
#17
Arwen Lara Hogardt 7 years ago
Me when somebody looks at my stuff, picks it up, is about to drop it
#22
Marianne van Dort 7 years ago
I don't think Kjorn was referring to himself. My kid actually made the same remark out of the blue about his dad in a busy store
#23
Master Markus 7 years ago
I don't understand fidget spinners as something to "help kids focus". In my experience it's just going to distract them.
#30
Larissa Bernasconi 7 years ago
I'm 20 and I recently found out that my father kept a giant folder full of my drawings. That's so nice...
#37
Michel M. Prins 7 years ago
Almost sounds like an equivalent version likes on facebook, but on paper.
#43
Allana Rose 7 years ago
Nothing anyone ever says or does to you will make you feel old than a simple remark like this from your kids.
#46
Lance Beard 7 years ago
*Relatives arrive* "OMG WHERE IS IT" Me: *Waving around a cardboard package* "Just in time for dinner! Come in, guys!"
#47
bianca johnson 7 years ago
To what God do we sacrifice chocolate donuts? I will never convert to that religion.
#51
Abby Rexroth 7 years ago
They're free up until you have to buy a pregnancy test and then it explodes from there.
#52
Mia Rennie 7 years ago
sales job interview: person: it says here you don't have any experiance... you: oh! I should really update that! I have 2 four year olds who are pickey eaters p: you've got the job! chef interview: p: do you have any experence? y: well... I have 3 kids who eat their food and don't complain p: it's a mirical! you've got the job!
#53
Blue Cicada 7 years ago
Oh, he knows. Many bus drivers are parents. They know the relief of sending their children off to school.
#54
Janet Martin 7 years ago
Whiskey for him. Benadryl for the kids. Give yourself some "me time" girl!
#55
Allen Andrews 7 years ago
If your parents give you the silent treatment, that can be a childhood win.
#58
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#74
#75
Vibeke Jørgensen 7 years ago
My sister told me to, the day before I got into labor - I love my sis
#77
Heather Evans 7 years ago
My son at 3: *shouting* Mommy, look! That's the same color as your nipples!" pointing at some (presumably) candy item in the impulse section while I was checking out at Walgreens. The line behind me was varied in age and gender. I wasn't sure whether to avoid eye contact or look them dead in the face and own it.
#81
Jan Feline 7 years ago
Yeah, that was me. I don't have kids, so take it as you will. According to my mom, except for sleeping, I was so good (read: autistic), that she took me to the doctor to see if I was ok (40-some years ago, the answer was yes). Then came my sister. Quite a surprise for my parents. But she grew up into a cool adult.
#84
#88
Wanda Queen 7 years ago
Just wait until the teens start. Every year I think it will get better and....PSYCH! ;)
#90
Lianna Valdez 7 years ago
My oldest is almost 18 and my youngest is 16 I still don't feel like a grown up hooray. Its more fun this way we act like kids together. Also they parent me at times its fun.
#91
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#104
Marlene Chavez 7 years ago
then it ends up being the parent .. asking to themselves .. why aren't we there yet!! lol
#108
Wanda Queen 7 years ago
And you can't spell stuff out anymore when you want something to go over her head.
#109
Vibeke Jørgensen 7 years ago
The survey must ben made by a non parent and non teaching old man
#111
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#117
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#127
Alwin Langevoort 6 years ago
“Reaches into backpack with one hand and tosses snacks up at them”
#128
Jeeves 7 years ago
My brothers list at age 10: stay at home, don't get dressed, play computer, watch tv, play computer, not go outside for two weeks cause ur too busy on computer, and be a total MONSTER when told to get off and take dog for a walk. My list at 12: go outside, take random holiday courses, ANYTHING to stay away from brother. ANYTHING AT ALL.
#133
#140
Haunting Spirit 7 years ago
Chuck Norris could turn any toddler into a perfect listening kid. Don't mess with Chuck "god of internet" Norris.
#144
Isabel Care 7 years ago
Met a mum shopping in her pajamas at 2am. Family was asleep so dad and kids didn't know he was babysitting.
#146
Haunting Spirit 7 years ago
Why ever did they invented gallon jugs? That's 3.7 liters. The largest we can buy (Netherlands) is 1.5 liter. More than enough.
#156
Rachel Kaufman Parra 7 years ago
then peel/separate the undies from the pants and pray for no poop stains/skid marks (I have a boy)
#159
Alwin Langevoort 6 years ago
I’m visiting friends. Made goulash soup at home and brought it. They told me, “oh our kids will absolutely not eat that”. Both ate it, the oldest nearly ate my entire bowl. Lol stunned parents. Tonight I’m cooking again 😁
#161
Markus McCloud 7 years ago
"Healthier"? I always liked whole wheat because it was more flavorful.
#163
Vibeke Jørgensen 7 years ago
of course it is, if you hate your kids, you would'n mention them at all :-)
#174
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#186
#192
#199
Hrafnhildur Viðarsdóttir 7 years ago
My thought every friggin morning!!! I feel your pain sistah!
#205
#207
Hrafnhildur Viðarsdóttir 7 years ago
There is no in between, this is absolutely an either or situation!
#210
💖 Stacy Rae 💖 7 years ago
But how many times DOES a cat blink a day? This is important information that we need to know!
#219
Nickie LaRue 7 years ago
My 6 mo old does that constantly! It'll be time to eat, I'll start making his food, he'll see that and start yelling what sounds like "NOW". When I sit in the chair and try and get him situated, he screams like a banshee until nipple hits mouth. And when he's really really tired, he'll lay in bed and yell "nite nite" at me (in the next room and in no way stopping him) until he tires himself out. I must get my 10k steps a day just from going to his crib every couple minutes to make sure he hasn't thrown up and try and convince him that is his bed, not red hot pokers...
#236
Alwin Langevoort 6 years ago
Go camping, make them someone else’s problem 😎 I sometimes search for them to come eat..
#239
#253
#273
Vickie Harrington 7 years ago
I do that a lot. My teenagers won't here me yelling up the stairs, but they never miss a text. Lol
#277
Vibeke Jørgensen 7 years ago
Good humor :-) believe it or not, they will thank you in about 20 years
#298
#306
Sherry Tupelu 7 years ago
A friend tells me that they're having a child, I always ask if they're happy about it, instead of just congratulating them.
#313
#315
Monica Friedman 7 years ago
Me: Do you want a quesadilla? 5-y-o: No, I hate quesadillas! Me: (suspicious) would you like a plain tortilla and some plain cheese? 5-y-o: Yes! 5 minutes later... 5-y-o: Could you heat these up together?
#316
#318
#330
Rachel Kaufman Parra 7 years ago
"did you poop" YES "did you wipe" YES "did you wash your hands?" CRICKETS chirping
#338
#339
Markus McCloud 7 years ago
I think that's why Lego includes duplicates of really small pieces in their sets nowadays.
#354
#357
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz) 7 years ago
If I have kids I'm going to say "if you don't eat the food I prepare, you can starve. I also prepare your ice cream and cookies. Therefor there are no loopholes"
#358
#366
Vibeke Jørgensen 7 years ago
I used to write " It took a lot longer to wake up than we had expected"
#399
#405
Tim Douglass 7 years ago
When they become teenagers that's what we call "the week's groceries".
#409
Erin McLaughlin 7 years ago
My sister's famous example of this is when she repeatedly said, "There's one thing I'll always remember" trying to get our mother's attention in the car. Finally Momma gave up and said, "OK, Lisa, what is it?" Lisa - I forgot. Classic!
#415
#423
#444
#458
#459
Markus McCloud 7 years ago
Oh how we laughed and laughed / Except I wasn't laughing / Under the circumstances / I've been shockingly nice! (Excerpt from Portal 2's credits song, Want You Gone)
#463
Rachel Kaufman Parra 7 years ago
My son is right about 65% of the time. Does that reflect well on me and my husband (good genes) or just prove how far down the senility path we've walked already?! Up for debate.
#473
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What do you think ?
Jean Frankland 7 years ago
Oh come on...it's all a laugh what's the matter with you serious misery-guts!? Kids are great fun and sometimes a pain in the a**e, like we all are. I remember the fun we had with my 4 kids and now the grandkids are adorable, funny, little pains too. Just as they should be.
Hans 7 years ago
Hm...this series leaves me with mixed feelings. I appreciate irony and even dark sarcasm, but also truly believe that having children is enriching. Some of these manage to cleverly pin the pitfalls and caveats of pareting while still expressing that being a parent is joyful after all...some, however, make you wonder if people are not too negative about their current life situation as the quotes are on the edge of moaning. I prefer the self-irony!
Leni 7 years ago
I feel similarly. But I also feel like many of these parents may create problems for themselves by keeping their kids small or putting up with certain behaviour that wouldn't fly here. And I'm not even excessively strict or anything... I mean the worst punishment my kid ever got was being sent to her room for a few minutes! But I do believe it should be 'freedom within limits'. Direction and clarity about their options helps them develop without stifling creativity.
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Jean Frankland 7 years ago
Oh come on...it's all a laugh what's the matter with you serious misery-guts!? Kids are great fun and sometimes a pain in the a**e, like we all are. I remember the fun we had with my 4 kids and now the grandkids are adorable, funny, little pains too. Just as they should be.
Hans 7 years ago
Hm...this series leaves me with mixed feelings. I appreciate irony and even dark sarcasm, but also truly believe that having children is enriching. Some of these manage to cleverly pin the pitfalls and caveats of pareting while still expressing that being a parent is joyful after all...some, however, make you wonder if people are not too negative about their current life situation as the quotes are on the edge of moaning. I prefer the self-irony!
Leni 7 years ago
I feel similarly. But I also feel like many of these parents may create problems for themselves by keeping their kids small or putting up with certain behaviour that wouldn't fly here. And I'm not even excessively strict or anything... I mean the worst punishment my kid ever got was being sent to her room for a few minutes! But I do believe it should be 'freedom within limits'. Direction and clarity about their options helps them develop without stifling creativity.
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