This kind of comedy is just gold to me

i don't see the problem. the other person is obviously for a new coat. just make him a offer.

this made my day! :) thank you for beeing wierd child! :)

they don't mind

We do NOT want to learn further details.

I have a weird knock in the engine and am always asked to repete order. I have started to just turn off car. One employee told me "you can't park there,its our drivethru

don't feel sorry for being different

har har, well played!

He did nazi that coming...

"accidently"

At least you both have dirt on each other so noone can tell ;)

Very polite from him

FRIEND: Hey, can you check your phone for the weather? I heard it's gonna rain. ME: Not according to my bush. FRIEND: What the... *calls 911*

I once yelled my own name at my daughter.

What a good teacher!

Busted out laughing...can't be much worse than me introducing my son's bone marrow donor to about 150 members of our community at a community party I was throwing to thank everyone for helping us when my son was sick. I'm on the stage, my son's donor next to me, and was trying to say, This is my son's donor, Barry. Instead i said, this is my son's Boner, Darry.

Dude yelling that at your mum is embarrassing enough, time to move out f the basement

Just pass it off as if you intentionally made a joke.

cute and nice.

good Wife. And i will forever refer to every baby animal as ___ kittens!

The poor girl probably thought you're bullying her...

This made me laugh so hard :)

i'm so mad nobody never filmed that!

I hope the secs are good too

followed quickly with and "I teach math!"

taking a picture under the stall in the womens restroom as a man. rip bruh.

sing "they are taking the hobbits to isengard" to compensate the awakeness

Your neighbours are very subtle, bless them

I've done that. The "let me speak to your manager", "Okay, hold please", come back to the line with a different accent.

tough crowd

Was out with another single friend for Valentine's and as we were walking around he said "at least I can say I went out with a blonde for Valentine's". I went "wow, cool, who is she?". It was me lol.

and what she said?

You had to name your sandwich? ;-)

Agility is everything: "Oh, hello pal, did you just switch from the grocery store?"

Know that phrase "dance like no one's wachting"? Now you know what it feels like 👍🏽

I think I have seen you in a youtube video! :P

You are dating your dog?

honest mistake though. completely acceptable from a child

Hope you thanked him for that 😂

Kjorn doesn't understand the premise of these posts.

Aww! That's not on you- your parents should have been watching you more closely! LOL

This pretty much sums up why religion is an awful thing for humanity.

Why isnt this at the top

Rest in Peace... FFWF08

Finally a man who kinda knows what woman go through

yes, why?

That's not awkward,that's brilliant.

That reminded me of an almost awkward situation I had, but I was saved by technology. I was taking the train home from work, and my home is near the very last station. So, as we get closer, the train gets emptier, but not really completely empty. I needed to fart, carefully tried to release it silently. I failed. However.... Looking around me, literally everyone was wearing earphones and either looked at their phones, or were asleep. Pheeeeew, what a relief.

LMFAO! Fart stories are always the best!

Ouch

You poor thing!!! Period horror stories always get to me

I will do this on purpose.

For next time

You should've barked at her too.

English not my first language, and although I spend most of my day speaking it, I can say funky things. I gave a hair salon a call to book for a blow dry. Asked to book a blow job. -__-

My boss had just hung up the phone with his wife and addressed me accidentally as "honey". Twas super awkward.

and did they? :-D

was he 5 yo? at 5 i understand that action

Good that it wasn't a guy grabbing a gal - would have ended up on the sex offender list...